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I think basically an actor is a salesman.

quote by Paul Lynde
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Salesman

Salesman, where you gonna go?
To sell all your of your goods today
Salesman, gonna walk along the street, see friends along the way
Well salesman, with your wooden cart that you push along while you walk
Hey, salesman, got a little dog whose tail wags when you talk
You always wear a smile, even though youve gotta walk ten miles
Short lifespan, goodtime salesman
Yep, yep salesman got it on the street, whether its hot or cold
Its salesman, well, you work real hard,
Until every part is sold
Salesman as the years go by,
People changing every day
Hey, salesman til the end of time youll be livin in the same way
You always wear a smile, you love em fast and you live wild
Short life span, but aint life grand?
Copper kettles, different kinds of tin
There goes salesman and hes sailing high again
Hes sailing so high, high, sailing so high...
Salesman where you gonna go to sell all of your goods today
Yup, salesman, gonna walk along the street, see friends along the way
Hey, salesman, with your wooden cart that you push along while you walk
Hey, salesman with your secret goods that you push while you talk
You always wear a smile,
Even though youve gotta walk a hundred ten miles
Short life span - but the whole things grand
Salesman...
Now, well, I tried the one that you put it in and you have to do it
Manually. but Id like the one that you just plug it in and it does it all
By itself in a real long strand and you cut em up. its easier to do it
That way because, well, I put all the stuff in there and it keeps flippin
Out. and I cant get the thing to stick together anything. coupled with
The fact that I have to stick two of them together to even get on out of it
And they always end up lookin like lucky strikes.

song performed by Monkees
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Rosciad

Unknowing and unknown, the hardy Muse
Boldly defies all mean and partial views;
With honest freedom plays the critic's part,
And praises, as she censures, from the heart.

Roscius deceased, each high aspiring player
Push'd all his interest for the vacant chair.
The buskin'd heroes of the mimic stage
No longer whine in love, and rant in rage;
The monarch quits his throne, and condescends
Humbly to court the favour of his friends;
For pity's sake tells undeserved mishaps,
And, their applause to gain, recounts his claps.
Thus the victorious chiefs of ancient Rome,
To win the mob, a suppliant's form assume;
In pompous strain fight o'er the extinguish'd war,
And show where honour bled in every scar.
But though bare merit might in Rome appear
The strongest plea for favour, 'tis not here;
We form our judgment in another way;
And they will best succeed, who best can pay:
Those who would gain the votes of British tribes,
Must add to force of merit, force of bribes.
What can an actor give? In every age
Cash hath been rudely banish'd from the stage;
Monarchs themselves, to grief of every player,
Appear as often as their image there:
They can't, like candidate for other seat,
Pour seas of wine, and mountains raise of meat.
Wine! they could bribe you with the world as soon,
And of 'Roast Beef,' they only know the tune:
But what they have they give; could Clive do more,
Though for each million he had brought home four?
Shuter keeps open house at Southwark fair,
And hopes the friends of humour will be there;
In Smithfield, Yates prepares the rival treat
For those who laughter love, instead of meat;
Foote, at Old House,--for even Foote will be,
In self-conceit, an actor,--bribes with tea;
Which Wilkinson at second-hand receives,
And at the New, pours water on the leaves.
The town divided, each runs several ways,
As passion, humour, interest, party sways.
Things of no moment, colour of the hair,
Shape of a leg, complexion brown or fair,
A dress well chosen, or a patch misplaced,
Conciliate favour, or create distaste.
From galleries loud peals of laughter roll,
And thunder Shuter's praises; he's so droll.
Embox'd, the ladies must have something smart,

[...] Read more

poem by Charles Churchill
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Vice President, Chauffeur, Butler In One Day

It was the year 1989,

I was in my twenties looking quite fine,

older man Dave would use pen to sign,

contract to prevent envelope co.

from printing my greeting card Valentine.

Harvey who wrote “Swim with the Sharks”

had a salesman I left scared in the dark.

Salesman didn’t really know,

contract that says not to show.

To make this happen

I went to the Secretary of State,

Incorporated under

Sue Chevalier Originals

as the name.

Then I bought a suit for big tall Dave,

made him my

Vice President, Chauffeur, Butler

all in one day.

Driving down highway 280 we did get lost,

but luckily we found the envelope office.

Company door handle was in big gold letter M,

I walked through it with Dave my friend.

Going into a board room with world map on the wall,

sitting at a large board room table amazed with it all.

Then salesman walks in with himself and no pen,

[...] Read more

poem by Christina Sunrise
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Just a Bit

A big hound dog laid on the lawn.
Nearby, an old geezer did sit.
A traveling salesman came on
The scene, and paused there for a bit.
'Does your dog bite? ' the salesman asked.
'Nope.' the old geezer replied back
Then the dog's face got snarling masked.
That salesman came under attack,
Bitten about the arms and head
By the dog, as it fiercely growled.
'Call the dog off. I thought you said'
'It doesn't bite.' the salesman howled.

'My dog don't bite.' smiled the old guy,
''Cause that there dog ain't mine, that's why.'

poem by Ima Ryma
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Vice President, Chauffeur, Butler In One Day

VICE PRESIDENT, CHAUFFEUR, BUTLER IN ONE DAY

It was the year 1989,

I was in my twenties looking quite fine,

older man Dave would use pen to sign,

contract to prevent envelope co.

from printing my greeting card Valentine.

Harvey who wrote “Swim with the Sharks”

had a salesman I left scared in the dark.

Salesman didn’t really know,

contract that says not to show.

To make this happen

I went to the Secretary of State,

Incorporated under

Sue Chevalier Originals

as the name.

Then I bought a suit for big tall Dave,

made him my

Vice President, Chauffeur, Butler

all in one day.

Driving down highway 280 we did get lost,

but luckily we found the envelope office.

Company door handle was in big gold letter M,

I walked through it with Dave my friend.

Going into a board room with world map on the wall,

sitting at a large board room table amazed with it all.

[...] Read more

poem by Suzae Chevalier
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Actor Of Love

Hold on
I have found something I longing for
To fill the hollowness of my heart
But why I'm feeling more of sorrow

Before
I am the one who said: 'Oh, I'll control'
But now I realize you are my world
And it's waiting to break apart

I'm an actor of love
I'm trying to perfect
But I'm just fooling around

I'm an actor of love
I want to be your hero
But I've made myself a clown

I'm an actor of love
I need you by my side
But now you leave me alone

I'm an actor of love
I beg your forgiveness
But you refuse me so cold

Sometimes
We wonder why we should be together
Do we really dream of love forever?
Or we afraid to be alone

I'm an actor of love
I want to protect you
But I always hurt you bad

I'm an actor of love
I want to be your shield
But may turn someone you hate

I'm an actor of love
We kiss in the morning
But in night we have a war

I'm an actor of love
We care for each other
But we only circle round

If this love only makes me crazy
Take the story and just let it be
Tragedy or comedy

[...] Read more

poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Loose Talk Costs Lives

(b gibb)
Loose talk costs lives
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives
Dont look at me as if you dont remember me at all
There was laughter, there was pain
But I wont make the same mistakes I made
You are too beautiful to me
I hide my tears inside the rain
Am I the soul you cast your spell upon
I had control and now its gone
Or are you someone who controls my heart and mind
And I will never say a word
And I will never say goodbye
Loose talk costs lives
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives
I can see that someone hung a sign around your heart
And it reads do not return
And there is so much trouble I could cause
Someone as beautiful as you
You can feel my candle burn
And I still recall some starry night
We had it all, we held on tight
I promised I would come to you and catch you if you fall
And they will never know about us
For just one moment you were mine
Loose talk costs lives
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives
For just one moment, just one moment, you were mine
Loose talk costs lives
(our moment held in time)
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives
Loose talk costs lives
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives

song performed by Bee Gees
Added by Lucian Velea
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Behind the Scenes

The actor struts his little hour,
Between the limelight and the band;
The public feel the actor's power,
Yet nothing do they understand
Of all the touches here and there
That make or mar the actor's part,
They never see, beneath the glare,
The artist striving after art.
To them it seems a labour slight
Where nought of study intervenes;
You see it in another light
When once you've been behind the scenes.

For though the actor at his best
Is, like a poet, born not made,
He still must study with a zest
And practise hard to learn his trade.
So, whether on the actor's form
The stately robes of Hamlet sit,
Or as Macbeth he rave and storm,
Or plays burlesque to please the pit,

'Tis each and all a work of art,
That constant care and practice means --
The actor who creates a part
Has done his work behind the scenes.

poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Quartz

I can imagine nothing more tedious
Than trying to have fun with you again
Maybe its just something in my mind
But I hate feeling like Im trying all the time
Its a kind of lie
When we pretend that were still friends
Im sure youre not exactly short of people to
Hang out and laugh at your jokes
Tell you you look great
You wouldnt want me around
Making it all feel forced
..and put down
And every time I smile to wonder if Im laughin at you
And with every little grin you dont want to be wonderin
Just exactly what it is Im taking pleasure in
Although I always said
We were basically the same and all one
All one
Its so easy to persuade myself
Im clockwork and youre quartz
I guess that irony
Will surely be
The death of me
And every time I smile dyou wonder if Im laughin at you?
And with every little grin you dont want to be wonderin..
Although I always said
We were basically the same and all one
All one
Its so easy to persuade myself
Im clockwork and youre quartz
Youre only happy when youre oiled and jewelled
Youre only happy when you wind me up and I know
Youre so reliable it isnt true
And its so easy for me to break down
If I could jump a ride between the skin and silicon then
We could join hands and understand. hallelujah!
But I listen
To the ticking
I guess were worlds apart ...
Its so hard
So hard
I know theres no going back
And you know theres no going back
Youre only happy when youre oiled and jewelled
Youre only happy when youre oiled and jewelled
Youre never happy
I need maintenance
I need patience
Im not foolproof
Im not waterproof

[...] Read more

song performed by Marillion
Added by Lucian Velea
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He Is Just a Salesman

Mom, there is a man at our door
He wants to talk to you.

The man was weary
His hair was like hay
His face was wrinkled
But a pair of eyes of steel.

Mom was angry
Go play in your room son,
He is just a salesman.
Salesman, didn't I tell you never to come again?

The man said,
Mom is right son,
I sold a heart to your mom long long ago
She promised one back but never paid
Now I want to sell another for free,
She will not allow me now.

poem by Prabhakar Sarma Neog
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Up The `pool

Im going up the 'pool from down the smoke below
To taste my mums jam sarnies and see our aunty flo.
The candyfloss salesman watches ladies in the sand
Down for a freaky weekend in the hope that theyll be meeting
Mister universe.
The iron tower smiles down upon the silver sea
And along the golden mile theyll be swigging mugs of tea.
The politicians there whove come to take the air
While posing for the daily press
Will look around and blame the mess
On edward bear.
Therell be bucket, spades and bingo, cockles, mussels, rainy days,
Seaweed and sand castles, icy waves.
Deck chairs, rubber dinghies, old vests, braces dangling down,
Sun-tanned stranded starfish in a daze.
Were going up the 'pool from down the smoke below
To taste my mums jam sarnies and see our aunty flo.
The candy floss salesman watches ladies in the sand
Down for a freaky weekend in the hope that theyll be meeting
Mister universe.
Therell be buckets, spades and bingo, cockles, mussels, rainy days,
Seaweed and sand castles, icy waves,
Deck chairs, rubber dinghies, old vests, braces dangling down,
Sun-tanned stranded starfish in a daze.
Oh blackpool,
Oh blackpool.

song performed by Jethro Tull
Added by Lucian Velea
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Billy

Billy left on Friday night with twenty dollars cash
Had a thousand more and a diamond on his hand
When he got back
I don't know just where Billy got that dough
Saturday he spent in style
Drinks were on the house
Lincoln here, and a Jackson there
Suspicions were aroused
A dime was dropped and a name was named
A body soon was found
A travelin' Bilble salesman on his monthly trip to town
Three bullet holes
A .38 done took his soul
What do you know
No diamond ring no money roll
A quick investigation
They dragged Billy to the station
And broke him down with the third degree
His alibi unraveled
Judge Riley banged his gavel
A 12-man jury all agreed
So he must be guilty
I knew Billy spent that night
Winning big at cards
And the salesman was a married man
Who broke my sisters heart
Billy sits in Levenworth
Waiting for the gas
And I know lots of other things
But no one ever asked
So they'll never know
Swear to God they'll never know
Case is closed, that's how the story will be told

song performed by Keith Urban
Added by Lucian Velea
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Snowball In Hell

Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Moneys all broke, and foods going hungry
If it wasnt for disappointment
I wouldnt have any appointments
Side effect or drug trip
Dont tease me with all of your might
Side effect or drug trip
My panaceas in a xerox shop
Have a nice day, you want it when?
Have a nice day, have a nice day
I didnt expect to find a salesman drinking coffee this late in the morning. how long you been here, joe?
Oh, I dont know, I guess thirty, forty-five minutes maybe. why do you ask?
You must be making a lot of sales, piling up good income.
Oh... uh... Im doing all right. I could do better, but... ohahaha I get it paul. back on that old time is money kick, right?
Not back on it, joe, still on it.
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Money I owe, money-iy-ay
Money I owe, money-iy-ay
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Notes
The frank otoole demo version adds more of the spoken dialogue ad nauseum as follows:
Okay, okay
Okay, okay, okay lets
Okay, okay
Okay, okay, okay lets
Okay, okay
Okay, okay, okay lets
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Moneys all broke, and foods going hungry
If it wasnt for disappointment
I wouldnt have any appointments
Did I affect your drug trip
Dont tease me with all of your might
Did I affect your drug trip
You threw my wallet in the wishing well
Have a nice day, you want it when?
Have a nice day, have a nice day
I didnt expect to find a salesman drinking coffee this late in the morning. how long you been here, joe?
Oh, I dont know, I guess thirty, forty-five minutes maybe. why do you ask?
You must be making a lot of sales, piling up good income.

[...] Read more

song performed by They Might Be Giants
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Tourist from Syracuse

One of those men who can be a car salesman or a tourist from Syracuse or a hired assassin.
-- John D. MacDonald

You would not recognize me.
Mine is the face which blooms in
The dank mirrors of washrooms
As you grope for the light switch.

My eyes have the expression
Of the cold eyes of statues
Watching their pigeons return
From the feed you have scattered,

And I stand on my corner
With the same marble patience.
If I move at all, it is
At the same pace precisely

As the shade of the awning
Under which I stand waiting
And with whose blackness it seems
I am already blended.

I speak seldom, and always
In a murmur as quiet
As that of crowds which surround
The victims of accidents.

Shall I confess who I am?
My name is all names, or none.
I am the used-car salesman,
The tourist from Syracuse,

The hired assassin, waiting.
I will stand here forever
Like one who has missed his bus --
Familiar, anonymous --

On my usual corner,
The corner at which you turn
To approach that place where now
You must not hope to arrive.

poem by Donald Justice
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An actor is an actor is an actor. The less personality an actor has off stage the better. A blank canvas on which to draw the characters he plays.

quote by Arthur Lowe
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My dad had been an actor... not only had my dad been an actor, but his dad had been an actor, and my great-grandfather had been an actor. And who knows before then?

quote by David Hyde Pierce
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My Cat

Cool cat
Good cat
Pussy cat

When I see him walking
Makes no sense to me
My cat is everywhere
We watch him on TV

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat
Cool cat

My cat is everywhere
Sees what he can see
He may not be an actor
He acts atrociously

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat isn't crazy
He's everything to me
My cat burns the bible
And he thinks it's so funny

He isn't very good
He isn't very smart
He may not be Picasso
But he is a work of art

Hates me as much as I hate you

My cat
Cool cat
Good cat
Pussy cat

When I see him walking
Makes no sense to me
My cat is everywhere
We watch him on TV

My cat is amazing

[...] Read more

song performed by Jack Off Jill from Sexless Demons And Scars
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Haughty Actor

AN actor - GIBBS, of Drury Lane -
Of very decent station,
Once happened in a part to gain
Excessive approbation:
It sometimes turns a fellow's brain
And makes him singularly vain
When he believes that he receives
Tremendous approbation.

His great success half drove him mad,
But no one seemed to mind him;
Well, in another piece he had
Another part assigned him.
This part was smaller, by a bit,
Than that in which he made a hit.
So, much ill-used, he straight refused
To play the part assigned him.

THAT NIGHT THAT ACTOR SLEPT, AND I'LL ATTEMPT
TO TELL YOU OF THE VIVID DREAM HE DREAMT.

THE DREAM.

In fighting with a robber band
(A thing he loved sincerely)
A sword struck GIBBS upon the hand,
And wounded it severely.
At first he didn't heed it much,
He thought it was a simple touch,
But soon he found the weapon's bound
Had wounded him severely.

To Surgeon COBB he made a trip,
Who'd just effected featly
An amputation at the hip
Particularly neatly.
A rising man was Surgeon COBB
But this extremely ticklish job
He had achieved (as he believed)
Particularly neatly.

The actor rang the surgeon's bell.
"Observe my wounded finger,
Be good enough to strap it well,
And prithee do not linger.
That I, dear sir, may fill again

[...] Read more

poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
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Being a salesman and an actor were not that dissimilar: It is a good lesson in covering up your feelings. No one wants to buy from someone who looks depressed.

quote by Dougray Scott
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Every actor is somewhat mad, or else he'd be a plumber or a bookkeeper or a salesman.

quote by Bela Lugosi
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