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Tennessee Williams

We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.

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Betrayal

(wang chung / peter wolf)
We met as friends of friends while still at school
I was all you ever really knew
When we met it was like a dream
For all I knew we could not fail
But now I know of your betrayal
Living in the older part of town
I worked all hours I could to bring us round
Your career was alive for you
But deep inside I watched it fail
And now I know of your betrayal
Your betrayal
If only I could hold you close
But now I know how love grows frail
When I asked if youd leave me
Or bout the boyfriends youd had
You said youd stay with me always
And that youd never be bad
But I would notice a smile
That you would hold within
As if your vanity flirted
With your knowledge of sin
Now youre quiet and cold
Your eyes just stare into space
And if I ask you to talk
You just dissemble your face
And the smile that I hated
Is now a frown of denial
And thats how I know of your unspoken betrayal
Oh, thats how I know of your unspoken betrayal
Now I wish that Id set you free
But I was terrified that I would fail
And now I know of your betrayal
Your betrayal
If only I could hold you close
But now I know how love grows frail
Oh now I know of your betrayal
Now I know of your betrayal

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To His Defense

To his defense, I understand the problem that is at hand.
To his defense, I understand the turmoil behind all of this.
To his defense, you'll never live the life he has endured.
To his defense, judge, I object to the inaccuracies you are spewing forth.
Be prepared to kill two birds with one stone.

Anxiety rises about the room.
As the swine feeds on frozen hearts.
A sign of treason ascends in my thoughts.
My conscience was right, the traitor exposed.

To his defense, there must be a reason for all the things he has done.
To his defense, it could easily be a coincidence.
To his defense, look at him now.
He's happier than I'll ever become.
To his defense, theres no defense.
No toleration for betrayal.

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I Am Understood?

Sometimes its embarrassing to talk to you
To hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through
This version of myself
I try to hide behind
Ill bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified
And sometimes Im so thankful for your loyalty
Your love regardless of the mistakes I make will spoil me
My confidence is, in a sense, a gift youve given me
And Im satisfied to realize youre all Ill ever need
You looked into my life
And never stopped
And youre thinking all my thoughts
Are so simple but so beautiful
And you recite my words right back to me
Before I even speak
You let me know, I am understood
And sometimes I spend my time
Just trying to escape
I work so hard, so desperately, in an attempt to create space
Cause I want distance from the utmost important thing I know
I see your love, then turn my back, and beg for you to go
You looked into my life
And never stopped
And youre thinking all my thoughts
Are so simple but so beautiful
And you recite my words right back to me
Before I even speak
You let me know, I am understood
Youre the only one who understands
Completely
Youre the only one who knows me yet still loves completely
And sometimes the place Im at is at a loss for words
If I think of something worthy, I know that its already yours
And through the times Ive faded and youve outlined me again
Youve just patiently waited, to bring me back and then
You looked into my life
And never stopped
And youre thinking all my thoughts
Are so simple but so beautiful
And you recite my words right back to me
Before I even speak
You let me know, I am understood
The noise has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvaction
Your voice has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvation
The noise has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvaction
Your voice has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvation

[...] Read more

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Defense and offence.

Defense is a kind of offence;
Offence is a smart defense.
Offence is to break defense.
Defense is to thwart offence.
As predator, one needs offence.
As a prey, one needs defense.
Otherwise defense is as bad as offence.
12.02.2008

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Betrayal of Humanity

One must be cautiously aware,
Of comments made...
In places infested with those who manifest,
A betrayal of humanity.

The people there are not easily identified.
Some use religious beliefs...
To deceive others to confide.
As pools of sincerity drenches their eyes.

One must be cautiously aware,
Of comments made...
In places infested with those who manifest,
A betrayal of humanity.

It is as if they plot against,
Those who express empathy.
And come to another's defense.
This they suspect as a leakage of weakness.
And they perceive a caring done,
From someone willing to expose...
Their heartfelt feelings.
And a campaign begins to ensure they are demeaned.

One must be cautiously aware,
Of comments made...
In places infested with those who manifest,
A betrayal of humanity.

The people there are not easily identified.
Some use religious beliefs...
To deceive others to confide.
As pools of sincerity drenches their eyes.
And a campaign begins to ensure they are demeaned.

Wizards of deception are trained.
And will do their best to protect delusions.
While attacks upon them,
Will be viciously claimed.
And a campaign begins to ensure they defame.

One must be cautiously aware,
Of comments made...
In places infested with those who manifest,
A betrayal of humanity.
These pests are all over the place.

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My mental approach is totally different. My coach predicated everything on defense. He always talked about defense, defense, defense. I took it to heart that if you play defense, you can take the heart from an offensive player.

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The Aeneid of Virgil: Book 9

WHILE these affairs in distant places pass’d,
The various Iris Juno sends with haste,
To find bold Turnus, who, with anxious thought,
The secret shade of his great grandsire sought.
Retir’d alone she found the daring man, 5
And op’d her rosy lips, and thus began:
“What none of all the gods could grant thy vows,
That, Turnus, this auspicious day bestows.
Æneas, gone to seek th’ Arcadian prince,
Has left the Trojan camp without defense; 10
And, short of succors there, employs his pains
In parts remote to raise the Tuscan swains.
Now snatch an hour that favors thy designs;
Unite thy forces, and attack their lines.”
This said, on equal wings she pois’d her weight, 15
And form’d a radiant rainbow in her flight.
The Daunian hero lifts his hands and eyes,
And thus invokes the goddess as she flies:
“Iris, the grace of heav’n, what pow’r divine
Has sent thee down, thro’ dusky clouds to shine? 20
See, they divide; immortal day appears,
And glitt’ring planets dancing in their spheres!
With joy, these happy omens I obey,
And follow to the war the god that leads the way.”
Thus having said, as by the brook he stood, 25
He scoop’d the water from the crystal flood;
Then with his hands the drops to heav’n he throws,
And loads the pow’rs above with offer’d vows.
Now march the bold confed’rates thro’ the plain,
Well hors’d, well clad; a rich and shining train. 30
Messapus leads the van; and, in the rear,
The sons of Tyrrheus in bright arms appear.
In the main battle, with his flaming crest,
The mighty Turnus tow’rs above the rest.
Silent they move, majestically slow, 35
Like ebbing Nile, or Ganges in his flow.
The Trojans view the dusty cloud from far,
And the dark menace of the distant war.
Caicus from the rampire saw it rise,
Black’ning the fields, and thick’ning thro’ the skies. 40
Then to his fellows thus aloud he calls:
“What rolling clouds, my friends, approach the walls?
Arm! arm! and man the works! prepare your spears
And pointed darts! the Latian host appears.”
Thus warn’d, they shut their gates; with shouts ascend 45
The bulwarks, and, secure, their foes attend:
For their wise gen’ral, with foreseeing care,
Had charg’d them not to tempt the doubtful war,
Nor, tho’ provok’d, in open fields advance,
But close within their lines attend their chance. 50

[...] Read more

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God That Failed

Pride you took
Pride you feel
Pride that you felt when you'd kneel
Not the word
Not the love
Not what you thought from above
It feeds
It grows
It clouds all that you will know
Deceit
Deceive
Decide just what you believe
I see faith in your eyes
Never you hear the discouraging lies
I hear faith in your cries
Broken is the promise, betrayal
The healing hand held back by the deepened nail
Follow the god that failed
Find you peace
Find your say
Find the smooth road on your way
Trust you gave
A child to save
Left you cold and him in grave
It feeds
It grows
It clouds all that you will know
Deceit
Deceive
Decide just what you believe
I see faith in your eyes
Never you hear the discouraging lies
I hear faith in your cries
Broken is the promise, betrayal
The healing hand held back by the deepened nail
Follow the god that failed
I see faith in your eyes
Broken is the promise, betrayal
The healing hand held back by the deepened nail
Follow the god that failed
Pride you took
Pride you feel
Pride that you felt when you'd kneel
Trust you gave
A child to save
Left you cold and him in grave
I see faith in your eyes
Never you hear the discouraging lies
I hear faith in your cries
Broken is the promise, betrayal

[...] Read more

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Betrayal

Betrayal is the name of the game,
It do not necessarily happen to the rich and the fame.
I was made an example,
Like a slave shackle and bundle.

My betrayal was not like the one we see and hear on T.V
No my betrayal was conducted discretely.
Words I thought I would never hear like Remove Me, Don't call me.
My facial expression, my body language and my brains wasn't functioning coherently.
These words derived from an heated argument,
I held my tongue and said little

My facial expression was vociferating
My body language was just a longing for sleep
My brains was not yet conspicuous

Some might not calling my calamity betrayal.
But I do, shocked maybe,
But my I am not feeling empty.
The love is still there
And I very much still do care.

My emotions and words at this current moment,
Are the same, just Silent.
Maybe things may change later,
Maybe......
But if not I'll just have to prepare for this disaster

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The Aeneid of Virgil: Book 2

ALL were attentive to the godlike man,
When from his lofty couch he thus began:
“Great queen, what you command me to relate
Renews the sad remembrance of our fate:
An empire from its old foundations rent, 5
And ev’ry woe the Trojans underwent;
A peopled city made a desart place;
All that I saw, and part of which I was:
Not ev’n the hardest of our foes could hear,
Nor stern Ulysses tell without a tear. 10
And now the latter watch of wasting night,
And setting stars, to kindly rest invite;
But, since you take such int’rest in our woe,
And Troy’s disastrous end desire to know,
I will restrain my tears, and briefly tell 15
What in our last and fatal night befell.
“By destiny compell’d, and in despair,
The Greeks grew weary of the tedious war,
And by Minerva’s aid a fabric rear’d,
Which like a steed of monstrous height appear’d: 20
The sides were plank’d with pine; they feign’d it made
For their return, and this the vow they paid.
Thus they pretend, but in the hollow side
Selected numbers of their soldiers hide:
With inward arms the dire machine they load, 25
And iron bowels stuff the dark abode.
In sight of Troy lies Tenedos, an isle
(While Fortune did on Priam’s empire smile)
Renown’d for wealth; but, since, a faithless bay,
Where ships expos’d to wind and weather lay. 30
There was their fleet conceal’d. We thought, for Greece
Their sails were hoisted, and our fears release.
The Trojans, coop’d within their walls so long,
Unbar their gates, and issue in a throng,
Like swarming bees, and with delight survey 35
The camp deserted, where the Grecians lay:
The quarters of the sev’ral chiefs they show’d;
Here Phœnix, here Achilles, made abode;
Here join’d the battles; there the navy rode.
Part on the pile their wond’ring eyes employ: 40
The pile by Pallas rais’d to ruin Troy.
Thymoetes first (’t is doubtful whether hir’d,
Or so the Trojan destiny requir’d)
Mov’d that the ramparts might be broken down,
To lodge the monster fabric in the town. 45
But Capys, and the rest of sounder mind,
The fatal present to the flames designed,
Or to the wat’ry deep; at least to bore
The hollow sides, and hidden frauds explore.
The giddy vulgar, as their fancies guide, 50

[...] Read more

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Criminal

Ive been a bad bad girl,
Ive been careless with a delicate man.
And its a sad sad world,
When a girl can break a boy
Just because she can.
Dont you tell me to deny it,
Ive done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins.
Ive come to you cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just dont know where I can begin.
What I need is a good defense
cause Im feelin like a criminal.
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I sinned against
Because he was all I ever knew of love.
Heaven help me for the way I am.
Save me from these evil deeds.
Before I get them done.
I know tomorrow brings the consequence
At hand.
But I keep livin this day like
The next will never come.
Oh, help me, but dont tell me
To deny it.
Ive got to cleanse myself.
Of all these lies till Im good
Enough for him.
Ive got a lot to lose and im
Bettin high
So Im beggin you before it ends
Just tell me where to begin.
What I need is a good defense
cause Im feelin like a criminal.
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I sinned against
Because he was all I ever knew of love.
Let me know the way
Before theres hell to pay.
Give me room to lay the law and let me go.
Ive got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So, what would an angel say?
cause the devil wants to know.
What I need is a good defense
cause Im feelin like a criminal.
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I sinned against
Because he was all I ever knew of love.
What I need is a good defense

[...] Read more

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Zilch

By david jones, micky dolenz,
Michael nesmith and peter tork
1st part
Zilch!
Mister dobalena, mister bob dobalena
Mister dobalena, mister bob dobalena
Mister dobalena, mister bob dobalena
Mister dobalena, mister bob dobalena
2nd part
Zilch!
China clipper calling alameda
China clipper calling alameda
China clipper calling alameda
China clipper calling alameda
3rd part
Zilch!
Never mind the furthermore, the plea is self defense.
Never mind the furthermore, the plea is self defense.
Never mind the furthermore, the plea is self defense.
Never mind the furthermore, the plea is self defense.
4th part
Zilch!
It is of my opinion that the people are intending.
It is of my opinion that the people are intending.
It is of my opinion that the people are intending.
It is of my opinion that the people are intending.

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Butterflies

If you want me baby,
You've just got to let me know (let me know).
If you want me baby,
You've just got to let me know.
Don't go chasin like the butterflies,
When everything you want is right here by your side.
Don't go chasin like the butterflies,
When everything you want is right here by your side.
If you need me baby,
You've just got to let it show (let it show).
If you need me baby,
You've just got to let it show (let it show).
Why don't you lull your defense,
There's no more room for walls or fantasies.
Why don't you lull your defense,
There's no more room for walls or fantasies.
If you want me baby,
You've just got to let me know (let me know)
If you want me baby,
You've just got to let me know (let me know).
Don't go chasin like the butterflies,
When everything you want is right here by your side.
Don't go chasin like the butterflies,
When everything you want is right here by your side.
If you need me baby,
You've just got to let it show (let it show)
I said
If you need me baby,
You've just got to let it show (let it show).
Why don't you lull your defense,
There's no more room for walls or fantasies.
Why don't you lull your defense,
There's no more room for walls or fantasies.
The first time I saw you,
I felt something inside.
Well, the first time that I saw you,
I felt something inside I couldn't hide.
You know,
The first time that I saw you,
I felt something inside I couldn't hide.
Don't go chasin like the butterflies,
When everything you want is right here by your side.
Don't go chas

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I Give You My Soul Through Pain

Who wants my honest soul?
I want to be free when the devil is in control.
How much would you give up to buy it?
How much would you give up just to try it?
Let the astral projection begin.
Breath in, breath out.
Picture your self in this unholy body.
Then let the soul draining commence.

I will put up no defense.
It is an absolute surrender.
It is an absolute sacrifice.
In the upright 5 pointed star with a circle with candles surrounding.
A ritual to a perfection.
A Wicca call to the powers of nature.
From the earth, fire, water, wind, and lastly the spirit.
Inflict pain to make it stronger.
Brighter, and more powerful.

Strip the body bare,
Let artificial cloths not shield what's really there.
Rise up, stand up, you need be ashamed it was the we were all made.
With our own weaknesses and strengths.
A unique complexion shall be inscribed upon each every living creature.
No matter if of seems inanimate or not.

Who wants my honest soul?
I want to be free when the devil is in control.
How much would you give up to buy it?
How much would you give up just to try it?
Let the astral projection begin.
Breath in, breath out.
Picture your self in this unholy body.
Then let the soul draining commence.

I will put up no defense.
It is an absolute surrender.
It is an absolute sacrifice.
In the upright 5 pointed star with a circle with candles surrounding.
A ritual to a perfection.
A Wicca call to the powers of nature.
From the earth, fire, water, wind, and lastly the spirit.
Inflict pain to make it stronger.
Brighter, and more powerful.

But the true power is the power within.
You can feel it pulsing through veins with every single beat.
Your heart can never be compromised.
A man will love till his dying breath
Your mind can put you in clouds when your feet are solid on the ground.

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Tale III

THE GENTLEMAN FARMER.

Gwyn was a farmer, whom the farmers all,
Who dwelt around, 'the Gentleman' would call;
Whether in pure humility or pride,
They only knew, and they would not decide.
Far different he from that dull plodding tribe
Whom it was his amusement to describe;
Creatures no more enliven'd than a clod,
But treading still as their dull fathers trod;
Who lived in times when not a man had seen
Corn sown by drill, or thresh'd by a machine!
He was of those whose skill assigns the prize
For creatures fed in pens, and stalls, and sties;
And who, in places where improvers meet,
To fill the land with fatness, had a seat;
Who in large mansions live like petty kings,
And speak of farms but as amusing things;
Who plans encourage, and who journals keep,
And talk with lords about a breed of sheep.
Two are the species in this genus known;
One, who is rich in his profession grown,
Who yearly finds his ample stores increase,
From fortune's favours and a favouring lease;
Who rides his hunter, who his house adorns;
Who drinks his wine, and his disbursements scorns;
Who freely lives, and loves to show he can, -
This is the Farmer made the Gentleman.
The second species from the world is sent,
Tired with its strife, or with his wealth content;
In books and men beyond the former read
To farming solely by a passion led,
Or by a fashion; curious in his land;
Now planning much, now changing what he plann'd;
Pleased by each trial, not by failures vex'd,
And ever certain to succeed the next;
Quick to resolve, and easy to persuade, -
This is the Gentleman, a farmer made.
Gwyn was of these; he from the world withdrew
Early in life, his reasons known to few;
Some disappointments said, some pure good sense,
The love of land, the press of indolence;
His fortune known, and coming to retire,
If not a Farmer, men had call'd him 'Squire.
Forty and five his years, no child or wife
Cross'd the still tenour of his chosen life;
Much land he purchased, planted far around,
And let some portions of superfluous ground
To farmers near him, not displeased to say
'My tenants,' nor 'our worthy landlord,' they.

[...] Read more

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Stranger in Strange Crowd

STRANGER IN STRANGE CROWD


Dreams stranger’s path divide
from crowd’s uneven t[h]read
who's tissue, issues poorly understood, through dread
is left behind, swirls second rate as flotsam on life's tide,
noise windmills, senses silent, life-blood sped,
bled white, so often fearing fear, by wisdom wide,
unblessed, unsteady set sights low instead.

Despite stress, sentiments denied, imagination set aside,
stranger story stores till head heeds heart, until desires well led
fire understanding rich allied with empathy sustaining ride.
Swift Pegasus is supplied
with neither saddle, A to Zed accoutrements life tears to shreds
when vested interests, motives pure collide.

Defy temptations of soft ride
along straight road which, comfort fed,
selects ‘safe way’, too often dreads
free choice, autonomy. Self-pride
corresponds to quest for bread.

Distrust that moment Fortune’s tide
entwines in fickle thread
conformity, convention wed.
Scorn empty homage, those who glide
through vain p[l]ain life, misled.

Survival instinct, safe homestead, a ‘living wage’, priorities
appear, as opportunities to seize as each spins finite set
tripped, snipped, then ripped by Norms with ease.

Far from madding crowd who dares assign
himself true rôle in life, who thinks,
who sifts chaff, grain, drains lees from wine, palms pearls from swine?
Who, intact, acts and interacts, discerning fiction, facts,

opposes expedience, authority which hoodwinks
manipulated herd unheard, which lacks
true overview impartial, thus reacts
rather than responds, its armour: chinks.
On each new generation weigh rigid systems spawned by Fate unkind.
As pawns most men play puppet parts in Time’s relay game of tiddly-winks.

Is search for self through mirrored minds
just base reflection on sight lost?
Insisting on base ‘skills’ man finds
intuitions atrophy - cost

[...] Read more

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South Of Heaven

An Unforseen Future
Nestled Somewhere In Time
Unsuspecting Victims
No Warnings, No Signs
Judgment Day The Second Coming Arrives
Before You See The Light You Must Die.
Forgotten Children, Conform A New Faith
Avidity And Lust Controlled By Hate
Never Ending Search For Your Shattered Sanity
Souls Of Damnation In Their Own Reality
Chaos Rampant
An Age Of Distrust
Confrontations
Impulsive Sabbath
Bastard Sons Bagat Your Cunting Daughters
Promiscuous Mothers With Incestuous Fathers
Engreat Souls Condemned For Eternity
Sustained By Immoral Observance A Domineering Deity
Chaos Rampant
An Age Of Distrust
Confrontations
Impulsive Sabbath
On And On, South Of Heaven
Lead - King
The Root Of All Evil Is The Hear Of A Black Soul
A Force That Has Lived All Eternity
A Never Ending Search For A Truth Never Told
The Loss Of All Hope And Your Dignity
Chaos Rampant
An Age Of Distrust
Confrontations
Impulsive Habitat
On And On, South Of Heaven
Lead - Hanneman

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In Mind...Still

Evening it is
Everyone, in a hurry
Except you

The sun, so sleepy
The clouds, so gravid

You pass by and pause
I pause and look

Your luggage
On your back

I see

Your buggage
In your heart

I feel

Your eyes
White
And black
And grey
And Glassy

Betrayal, betrayal, betrayal

A drizzle...

In haste
I depart
I ponder

No Home
No Home
Poor you

A distance...

I look back
The pause
Still on

You are home
This kerb
Your home

Raindrops...

[...] Read more

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Easter Sermon

Each Easter three words come to mind, Betrayal, Crucifixion and Resurrection. We wonder how these can be relevant within our daily lives.
Betrayal.
Betrayal normally comes from people we hold close, friends and even our family.
Crucifixion.
Crucifixion comes from the words they bandy about to others making us look as if we are nasty and cheap. We then get the sly glances and whispering remarks behind our back from others whose words are based on what the betrayer has said.
Resurrection.
Resurrection comes when we rise above the sly remarks and innuendoes that are said. Rise above them and start a new and better life.
Yes, those three words are relevant within our daily lives. We need only look, around and we will see them everyday in people’s lives and we have probably felt them ourselves in our own lives from time to time.

Amen

12 April 2009

Author’s Note.

For those who may not know I am a pretend Preacher in a Western Town called Deadwood which I helped build. I have a church and as the Preacher I have to give a service on the Sundays whenever we are there. The above is my Easter Sermon I delivered on Sunday 12 April 2009. I always keep my sermons short to ensure no one falls asleep while I am delivering them. Thank you for reading this.

DVH.

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Asunder

No hand could stay
the wretched turn
the taciturn display
the finger-tipped purpose,
the closed door
which she pulled aside;
sliding glass on smooth tracks
and sideways turned
she eased out
to the patio
where in the dark
her lover hid
behind the foliage bush
in the creeping night;
and I could only mute observe
how lightly deception walks
in the gloaming
where warm arms wait.

I suspend my hopes in squinted sight
straining to see who might
reflected be in the bushy frame
who he would be in my own long night
of what would be the happiness I could perceive
being shattered in her stealthy stealth,
in the bright eyes I now could see
greet her
just above her lingering embrace-
their clutched bodies
in secret mode-
famished it seemed
from last kiss since.

And I,
back now to the window brace,
trash my soul-
rummage for clue and trace-
of where my shortfalls lead to this state;
to where she took up with lover hence.

Of all moments
none can compare to that one where
Betrayal mixes with Despair
Betrayal's purple burning spear
searing Despair's Raging Hurt.

Of all Time
none shatters seconds into eons
as when Betrayal's lunge wields the sword
which splits the Heart asunder.

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