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You will not accept credit that is due to another, or harbor jealousy of an explorer who is more fortunate.

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Adrienne Vittadini

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Jealousy

Jealousy , jealousy
Two oclock in the morning , I dont see my love around
You say you want to be with me girl
But youre never to be found
I know youre seeing someone else
And its sending me insane
Jealousy , taking me over and over again
Jealousy , saying you love ,but inside you pretend
You say I go on needlessly
Finding wrong in all I see
But I know in my heart from the start
You wanted to play , yeah
You know Im so alive with you
Telling love with all you do
I know Im gonna drive your love away , away
You were my inspiration
You were the answer to my prayer
A lover I could depend on and soften all my cares
I cant believe youre out at night holding someone new
Jealousy , taking me over and over again
Jealousy , saying you love ,but inside you pretend
You say I go on needlessly
Finding wrong in everything I see
But I knew in my heart from the start
That you wanted to play
But you know Im so alive with you
Telling love with all you do
I know Im gonna drive your love away , away
Jealousy , jealousy, taking me over and over again
Jealousy , saying you love but inside you pretend
You say I go on needlessly
Finding wrong in all I see
I know in my heart from the start
That you wanted to play
You know Im so alive with you
Telling love with all you do
I know Im gonna drive your love away
Jealousy , jealousy taking me over and over again
Jealousy , saying you love but inside you pretend
Jealousy , taking me over and over again
Jealousy , jealousy, taking me over and over
Jealousy, I cant help myself
Taking me over , jealousy , ..... (fade)

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Sorry

Sorry, jealousy, sorry, baby so sorry,
I was so full of jealousy, so full of jealousy,
Sorry, jealousy, sorry, baby so sorry,
I was no good at jealousy, no good at jealousy.
Hes here, oh honey for just a day,
Ill find away to get away,
No matter what you say, hey hey.
Hes here, oh honey for just aday,
Hes coming from so far away,
For just a day, hey hey.
I dont want to deceive you,
But tell me how can I be true,
When all the jealosy,
Keeps me from telling it all to you.
Sorry, jealousy, sorry, baby so sorry,
I was so full of jealousy, so full of jealousy,
Hes here, oh honey for just once a year,
That aint so much for you to share,
That aint so much to share.
Hes here, oh honey for just once a year,
You got my lovin right here,
Prepare now there, now there.
Nothing is never the same when your sorry,
Im really sorry of my jealousy,
Keeps you from knowing another side of me,
He loves me too and hes not jealous of you.
Sorry, jealousy, sorry, baby so sorry,
I was so full of jealousy, so full of jealousy.
Baby, sorry, jealousy, sorry, jealousy,
So full of jealousy...

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Jealousy

Hes got a great big hit hes in a limousine
When I see his face somethin starts to freeze
Hes got money for miles his girl comes out of vogue
When he acts like an ass hes treated like a rogue
I feel it comin its flushin my face
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin its boilin my blood
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin flushin my face
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin boilin my blood
I feel it comin jealousy baby
This isn t for the first time in my life
She comes from top cheekbones she never worried hard
You could camp an army on her familys yard
When I look at blue blood I want to make it mud
And tear that difference down rock an roll is how
I feel it comin its breakin my neck
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin boilin my blood
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin boilin my blood
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin breakin my neck
I feel lr comin jealousy baby
This isn t for the first time in my life
I feel it comin its flushin my face
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin boilin my blood
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin flushin my face
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin breakin my neck
I feel it comin jealousy baby
I feel it comin heatin my eyes
I feel it comin jealousy baby
Jealousy baby

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Jealous

Yeah.. youknowhatimsayin? eh-heh
Its real funny youknowhatimean?
I like cant believe this yknow
Jealousy like tried to move on me youknowhatimsayin?
So I said nah I aint gonna, yknow
Make no energetic hyped up yellin, type joint, knowhatimean?
Im just gon cool back, youknowhatimsayin?
Word up to this slow gangster beat type thing
Check it out yo..
Jealousy - I wanna kill him and shoot him
Hes a sucker - Id like to execute him
Recruit him - put him in my school and school him
I said somethin simple, and I knew that Id fool him
Hes only mediocre, jealousy cant get with me
Hang up your clothes, cause jealousy aint spent to me
Hes just a monkey, ridin my back
In fact I kidnap, ramsack, hijack and backslap the fool..
.. see my name is cool j
I play for keeps, the microphones my tool
Ive been holdin back long enough I had to bring it
Jealousy is in the house yall, fellas sing it
Jealous.. jealous..
Theres no need to be
Jealous.. jealous..
Bih mellow, youknowhatimsayin?
Jealous.. jealous..
Gangster groove, word up knowhatimsayin?
Jealous.. jealous..
Check it out yall
Im not lackadaisical or lazy on the microphone
I bring the bacon home so jealousy go home
Or play the wall and pout about the way the prince is rollin
So when they give it up, stand back and start foldin
All your jealous show clothes, I think you need to grab a
Half-pint of cisco and hang out with backstabber
Cause ima break down all walls jealousy built
And then walk tall, like Im standin on stilts yeah
Jealousy the jam is mean youll have to rewind it
If you didnt know about him, you must have been blinded
Ask him if Im right, hell tell you he sure is
Excuse me for a moment, fellas sing a smooth chorus
Jealous.. jealous..
Knowhatimsayin? smooth, word up
Jealous.. jealous..
Huh, crazy gangster beat, youknowhatimsayin?
Its like a gangster lean
Jealous.. jealous..
Yeah yeah youknowhatimsayin?
Its cool j in the house, youknowhatimsayin?
Jealous.. jealous..

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Why Can't We Accept This

Let's raise our conscious levels up,
From dusty covered ruts.
Why can't we accept,
Times lived..
Have gone bye-bye!
To leave behind those tears,
Dripping from red eyes.

Why can't we accept this.
To forgive and forget!
And,
Why can't we accept...
A happiness without regrets.

Why can't we accept...
A happiness without regrets.
Why can't we accept this,
To forgive and forget!

Why can't we accept,
Times lived..
Have gone bye-bye!
To leave behind those tears,
Dripping from red eyes.

Why can't we accept this,
To forgive and forget!
And,
Why can't we accept...
A happiness without regrets.

Why can't we accept this...
And dry those tears we cry.
Why can't we accept,
Times lived..
Have gone bye-bye!

Why can't we accept this,
To forgive and forget!
And,
Why can't we accept...
A happiness without regrets.

Why can't we accept this!
Why are we so disconnected.
Why can't we accept this!
Why are we so,
Misdirected.

Why can't we accept this!

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Jealously

Who was with you - where you been?
Baby it can't be this again
I can't cool it 'cos i can't win it with you
Words like punches - things we said
Under the belt and in the head
Down for the count in a cold cold bed
Beat by jealousy
Jealousy - jealousy
Stanglehold - love can't breathe
Let me be - set me free
Jealousy
You won't hear what i imply
What you say - i won't buy
You deny but you lie
Jealousy
Jealousy - jealousy
Stanglehold - love can't breathe
Let me be - set me free
Jealousy
Down suspicious - torn in doubt
Dirty vicious - knock me out
Danger, danger - stakes are high
Hook the blow between the eyes
Every round - we lose more ground
Jealousy
Jealousy - jealousy
Stanglehold - love can't breathe
Let me be - set me free
Jealousy

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William Cowper

On The Death Of Damon. (Translated From Milton)

Ye Nymphs of Himera (for ye have shed
Erewhile for Daphnis and for Hylas dead,
And over Bion's long-lamented bier,
The fruitless meed of many a sacred tear)
Now, through the villas laved by Thames rehearse
The woes of Thyrsis in Sicilian verse,
What sighs he heav'd, and how with groans profound
He made the woods and hollow rocks resound
Young Damon dead; nor even ceased to pour
His lonely sorrows at the midnight hour.
The green wheat twice had nodded in the ear,
And golden harvest twice enrich'd the year,
Since Damon's lips had gasp'd for vital air
The last, last time, nor Thyrsis yet was there;
For he, enamour'd of the Muse, remain'd
In Tuscan Fiorenza long detain'd,
But, stored at length with all he wish'd to learn,
For his flock's sake now hasted to return,
And when the shepherd had resumed his seat
At the elm's root within his old retreat,
Then 'twas his lot, then, all his loss to know,
And, from his burthen'd heart, he vented thus his woe.
Go, seek your home, my lambs; my thoughts are due
To other cares than those of feeding you.
Alas! what Deities shall I suppose
In heav'n or earth concern'd for human woes,
Since, Oh my Damon! their severe decree
So soon condemns me to regret of Thee!
Depart'st thou thus, thy virtues unrepaid
With fame and honour, like a vulgar shade?
Let him forbid it, whose bright rod controls,
And sep'rates sordid from illustrious souls,
Drive far the rabble, and to Thee assign
A happier lot with spirits worthy thine!
Go, seek your home, my lambs; my thoughts are due
To other cares than those of feeding you.
Whate'er befall, unless by cruel chance
The wolf first give me a forbidding glance,
Thou shalt not moulder undeplor'd, but long
Thy praise shall dwell on ev'ry shepherd's tongue;
To Daphnis first they shall delight to pay,
And, after Him, to thee the votive lay,
While Pales shall the flocks and pastures love,
Or Faunus to frequent the field or grove,
At least if antient piety and truth
With all the learned labours of thy youth
May serve thee aught, or to have left behind
A sorrowing friend, and of the tuneful kind.
Go, seek your home, my lambs, my thoughts are due
To other cares than those of feeding you.

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The Impact Of Poverty On Education

THE IMPACT OF POVERTY ON EDUCATION.

INTRODUCTION

There are so many different tools that have been thought relevant in people’s developmental projects both at individual and societal levels. Education is one of such practical tools. Importantly to note, there are also various meanings that denote the broad term ‘education’. In this essay, however, we are mainly interested in defining formal education since our discussion will dwell much on it. According to Nwomonoh (1998) , formal education is the process of gaining knowledge, attitudes, information and skills during the course of life especially at school.

Though education is said to be so instrumental in human development but also in the revamping of world economies, it is very unfortunate that education systems, world wide, are being held to ransom all because of poverty at both governmental and household levels. According to Thibault (2009) , poverty means the shortage of common things such as food, clothing, shelter and safe drinking water, all of which determine our quality of life. It may also include lack of access to opportunities like education and employment which aid the escape of poverty.

Problems in our society are interconnected in one way or the other, just like poverty and personal family problems affect a student’s capability to learn. Improving education entails improving the living conditions of students. Having in mind that education is basically responsible for the development of many countries including Malawi, as the back ground suggests, we cannot afford to bypass such a vital element without a mention. Considering also the fact that poverty is one of the forces that come in the way; blocking the success of education, we feel it rational to look at how the two realities, education and poverty, affect each other both positively and negatively. That is also why we are convinced that this topic is worth studying. Our awareness of this source, poverty, and its impact on education will enable us devise some proper measures of intervention with the hope of minimizing the negative impact of poverty on education. This point, in short, explains the purpose of our investigation and why we are so passionate in getting into this research. During the whole discussion we are being guided by two questions thus, ‘does poverty really affect education? And if it does, what points do we have on the positive and negative impacts of poverty on education? ’

METHODOLOGY

The study was basically qualitative in approach because of the nature of the issue that was being addressed. This was the case because the issue of how poverty affects education, both positively and negatively is particularly very difficult to predict the conclusions without penetrating into the core of the issue. For instance, one may unreasonably rush into concluding that poverty affects education negatively only and we cannot even dare to speak of poverty affecting education positively. The study was conducted in three schools namely; Mulunguzi, Masongola and Chirunga Private Secondary schools in Zomba district between 24th April and 3rd May. In this research we used both government and private funded schools to have a more balanced result on how poverty affects formal education in these different institutions. The information required for the study was collected through group interviews of form three students and individual interviews with teachers using semi-structured interview schedules. We opted to use these interviews in the first place because we felt books are more theoretical whereas a field research is practical and it involves real life experiences. Nevertheless, we still used desk research as a supplementary source of information and for clarity in some areas.

RESULTS

Positive impacts of poverty on education
To begin with, poverty encourages one to get educated and of course work hard in class. This is because the problems faced due to poverty are very serious and therefore students who are from poverty stricken families strive to end the problems and one of the best solutions is through education. That is to say, if a person, for instance, due to poverty, is taking just a meal in a day instead of three meals, and again if he/she is sometimes sleeping on an empty stomach, he/she will resort to education bearing in mind that if he/she gets educated they will secure formal employment and eventually be able to make ends meet for themselves as well as fending for their families.

Not only does poverty encourage one to get educated, but also it helped in the introduction of free primary education. In Malawi, for instance, when Bakili Muluzi became president, he introduced free primary education and he had eliminated the requirements for school uniform forthwith (Kadzamira & Rose,2001) . This had increased the access to education dramatically as those pupils who were coming from less privileged families were also given access to this free primary education. It should also be noted that the free primary education system was not only implemented to fulfill an electoral pledge but also bearing in mind that some families were not able to send their children to school due to poverty. Free primary education was there to deal with illiteracy by reducing families’ direct costs of education. Again due to the influx in the number of pupils in primary schools; there was a lack of teachers. Sonani (2002) , testifies that the Ministry of Education re-employed all retired teachers below the age of 65. This also meant that the once retired teachers got back to their source of income which helped them support their families as well as hauling the economy of the country. The implementation of free primary education system in Malawi forced the government to provide infrastructures so as to accommodate the large number of pupils in these schools. Simply put, poverty had led to the introduction of free primary education which means that more children are going to school, and again more teachers are being trained and getting employed and finally the construction of school blocks culminating into infrastructural development, all these branching from poverty.

We may also look at poverty from a positive angle bearing in mind that when a country is poor more funds and donations come into it. These funds and donations are also given to the education sector to build new infrastructures and in the maintenance of already existing ones in the sector. These privileged countries also provide learning materials to schools that are poor as a result students in these less privileged schools perform well in accordance with the amount and quality of the learning materials that they have been provided with. For instance, a United States based non governmental organization known as “Water for People” handed over 44 water toilets they built to Chimwankhunda primary school. The school toilet facilities had been vandalized 11 years ago but because of poverty the school could not renovate them (Gausi,2007) .

In addition, these funds and donations help more people to get educated. This is so because people can use funds as school fees, pocket money and buy stationery. The donations may include library books, chairs and writing materials. These can make a conducive environment for one to learn since there will be enough facilities at the school. For instance, with funding from the “United States Agency for International Development” (USAID) ,3,300 needy Malawian primary school girls are being funded. They are being provided with food, clothing, school supplies and hygienic products like soap and body lotion (Muhaliwa,2005) . Likewise,500 pupils at Katoto primary school in Mzuzu no longer sit on the floors during lessons courtesy of Southern Bottlers Limited and Lions Club of Limbe. Before these funds and donations, pupils used to sit on the floor due to scarcity of desks. These donations improved the pupils’ school attendance in such a way that pupils have started going to school regularly.

In the same line, a needy student can be given a scholarship to go further with his/her education. In this case the scholarship is given to the person just because he/she cannot manage to pay school fees on her own. This in turn benefits the needy person and the community at large. In this situation poverty has assisted in the development of education in an area by beckoning funds and donations from rich countries and organisations.

Further more; in most cases poverty facilitates one’s ambitions to attain formal education. It becomes easier for a poor child to put much of his concentration on education as compared to a rich child. This is because a poverty stricken student will have less destructive materials for entertainment. He/she will also have less or no money to indulge him/herself in activities that require spending a lot of money for instance, drinking beer. Sometimes even if the child can find money he/she can buy basic needs and not just spending it anyhow. Contrast to this a rich child may obtain things like ipods, mp3s, games for entertainment. These things in most cases destruct the concentration of students in their studies. As a result, one’s class performance is negatively affected since most of his/her time is being spent on entertainment.

Negative impacts of poverty on education

Just as a coin has got two sides, a head and a tail, poverty also, apart from having positive impacts on education, it does have negative impacts on the same. We have talked much about the positive face of poverty on education. We shall surely do ourselves injustice if we do not look at the negative part. In spite of the fact that poverty has an impact on education that is worth complimenting, we cannot afford in this discussion to overlook the point that so many students have been forced to leave the corridors of learning institutions due to the same poverty. One of the reasons that force some students leave the learning institutions prematurely is pregnancy, which in most cases, come because of poverty. It is almost common knowledge that a good number of students who come from poor families wish they could be sailing in the same boat with those who come from well to do families as far as luxurious life is concerned. The poor students constantly feel that there is something missing at the core psychologically. With this feeling in their minds, they tend to regard themselves as incomplete and not accepted socially. Consequently, they envy the rich students and squarely want to posses the things that are associated with the rich students. Very unfortunate that the poor students’ parents cannot afford to fulfill their children’s desires like what the rich parents would provide. Because the pull towards recognition is too strong for the poor students to resist, they end up in indulging themselves into prostitution in their search for money. Pity indeed that instead of recreating, as anticipated, their promiscuous behavior sees most of them getting pregnant and for some very unfortunate ones get even HIV and other STIs. From this discussion, commonsense convinces us that this school dropp out due to pregnancy is one of the negative impacts of poverty on education.

Adding more flesh to this discussion, we can also appreciate that hunger has been so instrumental in bringing down the standards of education world wide, in general, and Malawi, in particular. Frankly speaking, there are very few students if not none, who concentrate on their studies on empty stomachs. Food is one of the basic needs that every person is obliged to have if he/she is to survive. It is not surprising, therefore, to see some students performing miserably in class simply because they have not taken enough food or they have taken none altogether. The question of hunger finds its way into the education system because the government has failed to provide adequate food in most of its boarding schools. This is poverty at governmental level. There are also some students who are not boarders but still endure the hostile reality of hunger right in their homes. This is due to poverty at household level. It is sad that poverty, both at governmental and household level, has helped in engineering the deteriorating of education standards in Malawi.

Bearing in mind that it is only the eagle that can tell us the real whisper of a cloud, we visited Masongola Secondary school with the hope of getting first hand information from the students and their teachers since they are the ones who mostly benefit or get destructed by poverty. The Masongola secondary school students and their teacher, Mr. Enock Abraham, testified to us during an interview that government’s inability to provide extra food, apart from the usual beans that the institution offers, has seen many students developing ulcers. It would sound bizarre to reason that one can attend classes whilst he/she is on a hospital bed battling with ulcers. The Masongola students further testified that most poor students who have ulcers just bow down out of the race of learning because they cannot afford to buy extra food whenever the institution is serving the students beans.

This pitiful development goes beyond the boundaries of Masongola secondary school. Mulunguzi secondary school as Mr……the head teacher at the institution testifies, has not been spared from the scourge of school dropp outs simply because the school has not been able to provide extra or adequate food to students who cannot take what their friends take on health grounds. Needless to say this leaves the education standards in Malawi vacillating. It is a pity that though we have wrestled with this question of poverty a dozen times, we have not been successful in the battle. At one point in time, the government attempted to minimize the chances of school dropout in primary schools through its provision of porridge to pupils in the junior section. This attempt was in itself a good gesture but the government has failed to implement the initiative further in other schools that up to now have not benefited from the program.

It may not sound an exaggeration if we may say poverty has also forced a good number of students to give up their hopes of getting educated simply because they find it so difficult traveling to and from their respective schools. Lack of transport means, in short, has pushed them well towards the blink of despair as far as attaining formal education is concerned. This point speaks for itself how poverty can sometimes work on the education’s disadvantage.

As we go further with this discussion, we also appreciate the fact that the problem that mostly hinders a student’s success is inadequate resources that include; few teachers and learning materials. It must be highlighted that these problems are not only in developing countries but they may also find their way in reasonably developed countries like South Africa. In a developing country like Malawi, the education system encounters these problems because of the government’s failure to look into problems of infrastructure, capacity and availability of teaching and learning materials (Nkawike,2005) . The Muluzi government did a little if any; in as far as infrastructure is concerned. Lack of school blocks facilitated by a large number of pupils due to the introduction of the free primary education in 1994, forced pupils to have lessons under trees. In 2003, for example, lack of school blocks resulted in a tragedy at Nkomachi in Lilongwe when a tree fell onto an outdoor class, resulting in injury and deaths of pupils (Mvula & Chanika,2004) . This problem of learning materials continues till date, in all levels of the education system. According to Abraham (2009) , the school has always had shortage of learning blocks to an extent that the Physical Science and Biology laboratories are used as classrooms. There is also great shortage of books in all departments, and some departments like the technical department needs new equipment and current books which are very expensive. With this unfortunate situation we cannot anticipate good performance from Masongola secondary school.

In order to deal with these issues, the Muluzi government thought it wise to disregard the provision of learning materials in schools. Instead the Malawi School Certificate of Education (MSCE) pass mark was reduced to ensure the success of students in their examinations. Even the director of Basic Education, Nelson Kaperemera admitted that funds intended for learning materials were servicing the debts of government at the expense of improving quality education. Instead of reducing the pass mark, the government and other stake holders should strive to improve quality of education, improve teacher salaries, and provide adequate materials and train teachers properly (Malawi News,2006) .

In developing countries like Malawi, the schools are understaffed (teaching personnel) and they tend to be handling a large number of students for long hours. Furthermore, the teachers are subjected to meager salaries, which are even made late. The government does not seem to have the welfare of teachers at heart, for instance the education Manager for Phalombe, Enoch Ali says the district is facing a dire shortage of teachers, a situation that is contributing to low education standards. The teacher pupil ratio in Phalombe is 1: 120, whilst the recommended ratio is 1: 60 (The Nation,2006) . Due to low pay teachers resort to organizing part time classes, which demand an extra amount of money on top of the normal fees. These changes clearly affect those students who come from very poor families, as they do not receive adequate studies because of lack of money.
This does not only occur in secondary schools, but it also happens in universities. As the academic staff of the Universities go on strike because of the government’s reluctance to increase their salaries. One considers how this is supposed to retain staff in the University. As a result lecturers spend more time doing consultancies; instead of preparing lectures and doing University mandated research. If we are serious about fighting poverty, formal education is the hub of ideas to fight these problems by improving its standards (Kapasula,2008) .
Child labour is one of the major problems that contribute to school dropp out. The majority of child labour victims are children who are living in poverty. This is so because they lack basic needs, for this reason they are forced even against their will to do any kind of work in order to gain financial wealth. This, therefore, affects school attendance. Evidence of school dropp out due to child labour is found in central region where most children are being employed in estates. This region has high tobacco production. Since this crop demands a lot of work, children are at high demand because they do not claim high wages compared to adults. Research, therefore, showed that the percentage of children attending schools is lower compared to that of northern and southern region (Nyirongo,2004) . We have the case of two brothers aged between 12 and 15 who were forced to work at a tobacco farm at Mpherembe in Kasungu district, where they were receiving 150 kwacha a day due to poverty (Namangale,2005) . We can see that child labour has a great impact on education because through it, a lot of children are being deprived of their right to education as they spend most of their time working.

In addition to that, Chirwa (2003) found out that child labour is also taking place in people’s houses. In this case children are forced to dropp out of school either by parents or on their own, to work in neighbouring homes. Here one of the victims is a 12 year old girl Elizabeth Chalimba, who left school when she was in standard six to work as a nanny in order to support her siblings. Children from low income families are at risk because though school is their only hope for a better future, they dropp out because their parents are failing to provide them with basic needs. Apart from child labour, psychological problems due to poverty is also another cause of school dropp outs. Research shows that the impact of poverty is greater on children as opposed to adults. Firstly, the problem arises due to the environment in which these children are raised. These environments being impoverished, they are intellectually unstimulating, and lack of stimulation results in impaired intellectual development of a child. This in turn contributes to failure in class which can later on lead to school dropp out.

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Endlessly Jealous

Jealousy, endlessly
Sweeps through my mind
Jealousy, often causes me to
Be unkind
Im sorry I said that
Im sorry I did that
Im sorry I hit you
Im sorry, Im sorry
Endlessly jealous of you
Being endlessly jealous of me
The man that you thought I could be turning red
With jealousy
Endlessly jealousy
Eats through my skull
Endlessly jealousy
Makes me feel dull
Fighting
Endless jealous fighting
I feel my fingers tightening
Tightening, please dont break her arm
Jealously thinking of you
Of your endless possession of me
Of my jealousy, endlessly, jealousy, endlessly
Jealous of you
Sorry, running to a phone to say
Im sorry, running out of dimes
The phone on the street spits at me
Have a good day
Sorry, please you know how I am sorry
Ive been this way for
Oh, so long, endlessly, zealously
Jealous of you
Jealousy, endlessly
Eats through my mind
Jealousy, endlessly
Makes me be unkind
Im sorry I said that
Im sorry I did that
Im sorry I hit you
Im sorry, Im sorry
Endlessly jealous of you
Being endlessly jealous of me
Endlessly jealous of you being endlessly
Jealous of me
Endlessly jealous of you
Endlessly jealous of you
Endlessly jealous of you
Endlessly jealous of you

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An Epistle To William Hogarth

Amongst the sons of men how few are known
Who dare be just to merit not their own!
Superior virtue and superior sense,
To knaves and fools, will always give offence;
Nay, men of real worth can scarcely bear,
So nice is jealousy, a rival there.
Be wicked as thou wilt; do all that's base;
Proclaim thyself the monster of thy race:
Let vice and folly thy black soul divide;
Be proud with meanness, and be mean with pride.
Deaf to the voice of Faith and Honour, fall
From side to side, yet be of none at all:
Spurn all those charities, those sacred ties,
Which Nature, in her bounty, good as wise,
To work our safety, and ensure her plan,
Contrived to bind and rivet man to man:
Lift against Virtue, Power's oppressive rod;
Betray thy country, and deny thy God;
And, in one general comprehensive line,
To group, which volumes scarcely could define,
Whate'er of sin and dulness can be said,
Join to a Fox's heart a Dashwood's head;
Yet may'st thou pass unnoticed in the throng,
And, free from envy, safely sneak along:
The rigid saint, by whom no mercy's shown
To saints whose lives are better than his own,
Shall spare thy crimes; and Wit, who never once
Forgave a brother, shall forgive a dunce.
But should thy soul, form'd in some luckless hour,
Vile interest scorn, nor madly grasp at power;
Should love of fame, in every noble mind
A brave disease, with love of virtue join'd,
Spur thee to deeds of pith, where courage, tried
In Reason's court, is amply justified:
Or, fond of knowledge, and averse to strife,
Shouldst thou prefer the calmer walk of life;
Shouldst thou, by pale and sickly study led,
Pursue coy Science to the fountain-head;
Virtue thy guide, and public good thy end,
Should every thought to our improvement tend,
To curb the passions, to enlarge the mind,
Purge the sick Weal, and humanise mankind;
Rage in her eye, and malice in her breast,
Redoubled Horror grining on her crest,
Fiercer each snake, and sharper every dart,
Quick from her cell shall maddening Envy start.
Then shalt thou find, but find, alas! too late,
How vain is worth! how short is glory's date!
Then shalt thou find, whilst friends with foes conspire,
To give more proof than virtue would desire,

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It's Mine to Own

Just give me my prize!
For a life lived...
Both bold and wise.

Just give me my prize!
Un-itemized it.
It's mine to own.

Just give me my prize.
I accept it.
Now I can connect.
Inside...
I connect it.
Now I can accept.
Those feelings I cried...
With heartache.
Deep in my chest!

I accept it.
Now I can connect.

I accept it.
Now I can connect.

Just give me my prize!
I accept it.
Now I can connect.
Inside...
I accept it.
Now I can connect.

Those feelings I cried...
With heartache.
Deep in my chest!

I accept it.
Now I can connect.
Just give me my prize!
Un-itemized it.
It's mine to own.

I accept it.
Now I can connect.
It's mine to own.
I accept it.
Now I can connect.
It's mine to own.

Just,
Give me my prize I accept it.

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XI. Guido

You are the Cardinal Acciaiuoli, and you,
Abate Panciatichi—two good Tuscan names:
Acciaiuoli—ah, your ancestor it was
Built the huge battlemented convent-block
Over the little forky flashing Greve
That takes the quick turn at the foot o' the hill
Just as one first sees Florence: oh those days!
'T is Ema, though, the other rivulet,
The one-arched brown brick bridge yawns over,—yes,
Gallop and go five minutes, and you gain
The Roman Gate from where the Ema's bridged:
Kingfishers fly there: how I see the bend
O'erturreted by Certosa which he built,
That Senescal (we styled him) of your House!
I do adjure you, help me, Sirs! My blood
Comes from as far a source: ought it to end
This way, by leakage through their scaffold-planks
Into Rome's sink where her red refuse runs?
Sirs, I beseech you by blood-sympathy,
If there be any vile experiment
In the air,—if this your visit simply prove,
When all's done, just a well-intentioned trick,
That tries for truth truer than truth itself,
By startling up a man, ere break of day,
To tell him he must die at sunset,—pshaw!
That man's a Franceschini; feel his pulse,
Laugh at your folly, and let's all go sleep!
You have my last word,—innocent am I
As Innocent my Pope and murderer,
Innocent as a babe, as Mary's own,
As Mary's self,—I said, say and repeat,—
And why, then, should I die twelve hours hence? I—
Whom, not twelve hours ago, the gaoler bade
Turn to my straw-truss, settle and sleep sound
That I might wake the sooner, promptlier pay
His due of meat-and-drink-indulgence, cross
His palm with fee of the good-hand, beside,
As gallants use who go at large again!
For why? All honest Rome approved my part;
Whoever owned wife, sister, daughter,—nay,
Mistress,—had any shadow of any right
That looks like right, and, all the more resolved,
Held it with tooth and nail,—these manly men
Approved! I being for Rome, Rome was for me.
Then, there's the point reserved, the subterfuge
My lawyers held by, kept for last resource,
Firm should all else,—the impossible fancy!—fail,
And sneaking burgess-spirit win the day.
The knaves! One plea at least would hold,—they laughed,—
One grappling-iron scratch the bottom-rock

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IX. Juris Doctor Johannes-Baptista Bottinius, Fisci et Rev. Cam. Apostol. Advocatus

Had I God's leave, how I would alter things!
If I might read instead of print my speech,—
Ay, and enliven speech with many a flower
Refuses obstinate to blow in print,
As wildings planted in a prim parterre,—
This scurvy room were turned an immense hall;
Opposite, fifty judges in a row;
This side and that of me, for audience—Rome:
And, where yon window is, the Pope should hide—
Watch, curtained, but peep visibly enough.
A buzz of expectation! Through the crowd,
Jingling his chain and stumping with his staff,
Up comes an usher, louts him low, "The Court
"Requires the allocution of the Fisc!"
I rise, I bend, I look about me, pause
O'er the hushed multitude: I count—One, two—

Have ye seen, Judges, have ye, lights of law,—
When it may hap some painter, much in vogue
Throughout our city nutritive of arts,
Ye summon to a task shall test his worth,
And manufacture, as he knows and can,
A work may decorate a palace-wall,
Afford my lords their Holy Family,—
Hath it escaped the acumen of the Court
How such a painter sets himself to paint?
Suppose that Joseph, Mary and her Babe
A-journeying to Egypt, prove the piece:
Why, first he sedulously practiseth,
This painter,—girding loin and lighting lamp,—
On what may nourish eye, make facile hand;
Getteth him studies (styled by draughtsmen so)
From some assistant corpse of Jew or Turk
Or, haply, Molinist, he cuts and carves,—
This Luca or this Carlo or the like.
To him the bones their inmost secret yield,
Each notch and nodule signify their use:
On him the muscles turn, in triple tier,
And pleasantly entreat the entrusted man
"Familiarize thee with our play that lifts
"Thus, and thus lowers again, leg, arm and foot!"
—Ensuring due correctness in the nude.
Which done, is all done? Not a whit, ye know!
He,—to art's surface rising from her depth,—
If some flax-polled soft-bearded sire be found,
May simulate a Joseph, (happy chance!)—
Limneth exact each wrinkle of the brow,
Loseth no involution, cheek or chap,
Till lo, in black and white, the senior lives!
Is it a young and comely peasant-nurse

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Prince Hohenstiel-Schwangau, Saviour of Society

Epigraph

Υδραν φονεύσας, μυρίων τ᾽ ἄλλων πόνων
διῆλθον ἀγέλας . . .
τὸ λοίσθιον δὲ τόνδ᾽ ἔτλην τάλας πόνον,
. . . δῶμα θριγκῶσαι κακοῖς.

I slew the Hydra, and from labour pass'd
To labour — tribes of labours! Till, at last,
Attempting one more labour, in a trice,
Alack, with ills I crowned the edifice.

You have seen better days, dear? So have I —
And worse too, for they brought no such bud-mouth
As yours to lisp "You wish you knew me!" Well,
Wise men, 't is said, have sometimes wished the same,
And wished and had their trouble for their pains.
Suppose my Œdipus should lurk at last
Under a pork-pie hat and crinoline,
And, latish, pounce on Sphynx in Leicester Square?
Or likelier, what if Sphynx in wise old age,
Grown sick of snapping foolish people's heads,
And jealous for her riddle's proper rede, —
Jealous that the good trick which served the turn
Have justice rendered it, nor class one day
With friend Home's stilts and tongs and medium-ware,—
What if the once redoubted Sphynx, I say,
(Because night draws on, and the sands increase,
And desert-whispers grow a prophecy)
Tell all to Corinth of her own accord.
Bright Corinth, not dull Thebes, for Lais' sake,
Who finds me hardly grey, and likes my nose,
And thinks a man of sixty at the prime?
Good! It shall be! Revealment of myself!
But listen, for we must co-operate;
I don't drink tea: permit me the cigar!
First, how to make the matter plain, of course —
What was the law by which I lived. Let 's see:
Ay, we must take one instant of my life
Spent sitting by your side in this neat room:
Watch well the way I use it, and don't laugh!
Here's paper on the table, pen and ink:
Give me the soiled bit — not the pretty rose!
See! having sat an hour, I'm rested now,
Therefore want work: and spy no better work
For eye and hand and mind that guides them both,
During this instant, than to draw my pen
From blot One — thus — up, up to blot Two — thus —
Which I at last reach, thus, and here's my line
Five inches long and tolerably straight:

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(Beat By) Jealously

Who was with you - where you been?
Baby it can't be this again
I can't cool it 'cos I can't win it with you

Words like punches - things we said
Under the belt and in the head
Down for the count in a cold cold bed
Beat by jealousy

Jealousy - jealousy
Stanglehold - love can't breathe
Let me be - set me free
Jealousy

You won't hear what I imply
What you say - I won't buy
You deny but you lie
Jealousy

Jealousy - jealousy
Stanglehold - love can't breathe
Let me be - set me free
Jealousy

Down suspicious - torn in doubt
Dirty vicious - knock me out
Danger

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Jealousy

Hes got a million dollar car
Hes got a 37 year old guitar
Hes got a family who deals heroin youre on the edge of your chair
And the you feel it
Hes looking at you, hes laughing at you
Its happening
I cant
I cant believe it
But its here on the pages Im reading
Its all I can do to conceal my feeling of jealousy
I know its just a drawer of photographs
Theyre ex-girlfriends, I try to remember that
I dont want to look
But Im already hooked on jealousy
Jealousy
I cant believe you had a life before me
I cant believe they let you run around free
Just putting your body wherever it seemed like a good idea what a good idea
Standing on the corner, watching the ladies pass by
Imagine me behind your eyes
Now what did I see?
I saw hips, I saw thighs
I saw secret positions that we never try
I saw jealousy
I saw jealousy
I cant
I cant believe it
But its here in his place and I see it
Its all I can do to conceal my feelings of jealousy
Standing on the mud flats
Watching the salmon fly
Wonder if Ill ever bury the hatchet inside
Imagine me behind your eyes
Now what did I see?
I saw hips, I saw thighs I saw secret positions that we never try
I saw jealousy
I saw jealousy

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Maritime Poem

In the blue harbor of your eyes
Blow rains of melodious lights,
Dizzy suns and sails
Painting their voyage to endlessness.

In the blue harbor of your eyes
Is an open sea window,
And birds appear in the distance
Searching for islands still unborn.

In the blue harbor of your eyes
Snow falls in July.
Ships laden with turquoise
Spill over the sea and are not drowned.

In the blue harbor of your eyes
I run on the scattered rocks like a child
Breathing the fragrance of the sea
And return an exhausted bird.

In the blue harbor of your eyes
Stones sing in the night.
Who has hidden a thousand poems
In the closed book of your eyes?

If only, if only I were a sailor,
If only somebody'd give me a boat,
I would furl my sails each evening
In the blue harbor of your eyes.

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