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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

quote by W.C. Fields
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I Gots A Weasel

Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
Jumped in.....
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
Said somethin to show me the blimp, babe
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
I got me this big weasel out!
Weasel, teazel pleazel pleazel
Got a weasel its a teazel mah pleazel
Got a weasel teazel my pleazel got a weasel
Got a weasel its a pleazal mah bay!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
It come through the roof in a blimp!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
Weasel flying upstairs in the air!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah weasel -- got a weasel
I got the weasel jumped in the air!
Weasel, teazel pleazel pleazel
Got a weasel its a teazel mah pleazel
Got a weasel pleazel my pleazel pleazel weasel
Got a weasel its a pleazal mah bay!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
Weasel flyin around up in the ceiling!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
He jumped upstairs and down again!
Yeah!

song performed by Ween
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A Cabin Tale

THE YOUNG MASTER ASKS FOR A STORY

Whut you say, dah? huh, uh! chile,
You 's enough to dribe me wile.
Want a sto'y; jes' hyeah dat!
Whah' 'll I git a sto'y at?
Di'n' I tell you th'ee las' night?
Go 'way, honey, you ain't right.
I got somep'n' else to do,
'Cides jes' tellin' tales to you.
Tell you jes' one? Lem me see
Whut dat one's a-gwine to be.
When you 's ole, yo membry fails;
Seems lak I do' know no tales.
Well, set down dah in dat cheer,
Keep still ef you wants to hyeah.
Tek dat chin up off yo' han's,
Set up nice now. Goodness lan's!
Hol' yo'se'f up lak yo' pa.
Bet nobidy evah saw
Him scrunched down lak you was den--
High-tone boys meks high-tone men.

Once dey was a ole black bah,
Used to live 'roun' hyeah some whah
In a cave. He was so big
He could ca'y off a pig
Lak you picks a chicken up,
Er yo' leetles' bit o' pup.
An' he had two gread big eyes,
Jes' erbout a saucer's size.
Why, dey looked lak balls o' fiah
Jumpin' 'roun' erpon a wiah
W'en dat bah was mad; an' laws!
But you ought to seen his paws!
Did I see 'em? How you 'spec
I 's a-gwine to ricollec'
Dis hyeah ya'n I 's try'n' to spin
Ef you keeps on puttin' in?
You keep still an' don't you cheep
Less I 'll sen' you off to sleep.
Dis hyeah bah 'd go trompin' 'roun'
Eatin' evahthing he foun';
No one could n't have a fa'm
But dat bah 'u'd do' em ha'm;
And dey could n't ketch de scamp.
Anywhah he wan'ed to tramp.
Dah de scoun'el 'd mek his track,
Do his du't an' come on back.
He was sich a sly ole limb,

[...] Read more

poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
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The Dove And Weasel

He was solitary, cruel n' tough
A weasel "Bad to the bone"
He, gentle, wise n' downy soft
"The dove of love" 'twas widely known

One day the dove came upon the beast
Touched down lightly on the ground
Weasel thought "I'll eat this tiny feast"
As hungrily he circled round n' round

Before he could pounce they locked eyes
Drool dripping off weasel's pointy chin
But something happened much to his surprise
The dove began to softly sing n' spin

'I bring peace n' goodwill to you" He cooed
Weasel froze in place n' stared in wonder
"I've come to teach you humility n' gratitude"
"To devour me my friend would be to blunder"

"I'm a weasel n' must do what weasels do"
"You're just another meal to me" he said"
"If they were here I'd eat your parents too"
"You'll have no need to sing n' spin once dead"

Undeterred the fearless dove sang on
"How sweet it is to love you precious one"
"I seek not be your folly or Rubicon"
"Come sing n' spin with me my son"

Hearing this the weasel began to cry
He begged forgiveness for his many sins
The dove moved close n' dried his eyes
Whispered softly;
"This is when your life truly begins"

Just then the Dove became a Living Jesus
The weasel became the first human being
The man fell down n' begged forgiveness
"How dare I destroy such a precious thing"

The Lord smiled n' said "Now you know,
"How peace n' love compel a soul to grow"

ROTMS

View writings, images and video by ROTMS at;

rotms.blogspot.com

poem by Ray Lucero
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On The Cork Hurlers Strike

The best hurlers will not be playing for the Rebel County this year
At least not under coach Gerald McCarthy for Cork fans such sad news to hear
The Liam McCarthy Cup this year won't be coming to the hurling City by the Lee
Without Cork's best hurling only half dressed as hurling fans all would agree
Cork hurling fans not very happy to them hurling more than a game
Some blame the hurlers and others blame Gerald and others the County Board blame
Gerald has no notion of resigning and Cork's best under him will not play
And the loser is the game of hurling and that does seem a sad thing to say
Cork will have a hurling team in the League and All Ireland Championship but their best the red jersey will not wear
And for any hope of sporting success as we do know a team would need every top player
And in 2009 Cork will only make up the numbers though the game of hurling will go on
For hurling does live on in Ireland though great players to and from the game have come and gone
In 2009 Cork will not have their best team at least now it's looking that way
In a sad time for Cork and for hurling in Ireland and that seems a sad thing to say.

poem by Francis Duggan
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Weasel Face

Twenty four hours ago
No one could help me
I'm alone in life
No where to go

So I picked up the phone
Called out for help
Some one please help me
I'm afraid and alone

Weasel face
Weasel face
Weasel face

It's way past midnight
T.V. set is on
It's my only friend
One crisis after another

Ain't no loser or quitter
It's all or nothin' baby
'Cause we fought so hard
For our piece of this world

Weasel face
Weasel face
Weasel face

song performed by Ramones from Halfway To Sanity
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Miss Piggy regrets..

Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
That tastelessly named flu’s got her
(She forgot to wash her front trotter…) so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today..

Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
It’s a swine of a stroke of bad luck:
Her eyelashes, she sneezed them unstuck… so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today…

Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
She’s all pink from her snout to her face;
Her mascara’s all over the place… so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today..

Why not try the lamb today, madam…?

poem by Michael Shepherd
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Squelch The Weasel

Squelch the little weasel, crush him before he spawns
Break it to me gently, but with merriment and song
Squelch the little weasel, juice him as he bleeds
Feed him to the many, for thoust their souls shall weep
Sipping of the sunray blading in the earth
Evolving was the nectar given to the weasel birth
I was just a puppet until the clouds caved in
Bless me now you are sacred my flesh betwixt my skin
Sipping of the sunray blading in the earth
Evolving was the nectar given to the weasel birth

song performed by Ween
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Everything Right Is Wrong Again

Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
Wake me when its over, touch my face
Tell me every word has been erased
Dont you want to know the reason
Why the cupboards not appealing
Dont you get the feeling that
Everything thats right is wrong again
Youre a weasel overcome with dinge
Weasel overcome but not before the damage done
The healing doesnt stop the feeling
Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
The song is over now
Everything right is wrong again
Every movement false, every four is waltz again
Every five and dimes been gained and spent
Tell me that you like my float upstream
Draw the line dividing laugh and scream
You know everything that I know so I know
Youve heard the voice that makes the silent noise
That says that
Everything thats right is wrong again
Youre a weasel overcome with dinge
Weasel overcome but not before the damage done
The healing doesnt stop the feeling
Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
The song is over now

song performed by They Might Be Giants
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Brave Alum Bey

Oh, big was the bosom of brave ALUM BEY,
And also the region that under it lay,
In safety and peril remarkably cool,
And he dwelt on the banks of the river Stamboul.

Each morning he went to his garden, to cull
A bunch of zenana or sprig of bul-bul,
And offered the bouquet, in exquisite bloom,
To BACKSHEESH, the daughter of RAHAT LAKOUM.

No maiden like BACKSHEESH could tastily cook
A kettle of kismet or joint of tchibouk,
As ALUM, brave fellow! sat pensively by,
With a bright sympathetic ka-bob in his eye.

Stern duty compelled him to leave her one day -
(A ship's supercargo was brave ALUM BEY) -
To pretty young BACKSHEESH he made a salaam,
And sailed to the isle of Seringapatam.

"O ALUM," said she, "think again, ere you go -
Hareems may arise and Moguls they may blow;
You may strike on a fez, or be drowned, which is wuss!"
But ALUM embraced her and spoke to her thus:

"Cease weeping, fair BACKSHEESH! I willingly swear
Cork jackets and trousers I always will wear,
And I also throw in a large number of oaths
That I never - no, NEVER - will take off my clothes!"

*

They left Madagascar away on their right,
And made Clapham Common the following night,
Then lay on their oars for a fortnight or two,
Becalmed in the ocean of Honololu.

One day ALUM saw, with alarm in his breast,
A cloud on the nor-sow-sow-nor-sow-nor-west;
The wind it arose, and the crew gave a scream,
For they knew it - they knew it! - the dreaded Hareem!!

The mast it went over, and so did the sails,
Brave ALUM threw over his casks and his bales;
The billows arose as the weather grew thick,
And all except ALUM were terribly sick.

The crew were but three, but they holloa'd for nine,
They howled and they blubbered with wail and with whine:
The skipper he fainted away in the fore,

[...] Read more

poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
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Back There In Millstreet County Cork

Back there in Millstreet County Cork the frosted fields are gray
And old Clara wears his hat of snow on this cold January day
And cattle in the farmyard shed are bellowing for hay
Back there in Millstreet County Cork far north and far away.

Through old fields west of Millstreet Town the Finnow bank high flow
Through Inchaleigh, Coomlogane and Claragahatlea by many a bare hedgerow
Robins, blackbirds and sparrows by back door eat crumbs of bread
Before the Spring for them some hard and hungry times ahead.

Back there through Millstreet County Cork harsh winds of January blow
The days and nights are wet and cold quite cold enough to snow
In Duhallow I was born and raised though far from there I may die
And that I still feel nostalgia for the place of that why should I lie.

Back there in Millstreet County Cork the wintery winds blow chill
Across the bleak unsheltered face of Clara's bracken hill
And on the high fields by the hill beneath a darkened sky
The hungry fox out hunting utters forth a wild shrill cry.

poem by Francis Duggan
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Christy Ring

I'll tell you about a great hurler he hurled his way into renown
And his fame spread distant from Cork City through many a village and town
He inspired the poets to write of him and the song writers his praises did sing
And he was the hurler of all Seasons the one and only Christy Ring.

He was born in the year nineteen twenty and he died in nineteen seventy nine
And he played from the thirties until the late sixties and as he aged he matured like good wine
He won eighteen Railway cup medals a record that will never be beat
Yet he was a down to earth fellow a man who was free of conceit.

Of him there has been many stories his imprint in hurling he made
As long as hurling is played he will be remembered for the many great games that he played
In Cork, Limerick, Thurles and Killarney and in Dublin in famed Croke Park
In his three marvellous decades of hurling the wizard from Cloyne left his mark.

When I was a boy in the fifties Christy Ring in his mid thirties then
Yet still one of Ireland's best hurlers he helped Cork and Glen Rovers to many a win
He revelled in fierce competition and even in his forties played against the best
And he always worried his opponents the hurler who always impressed.

The Cork and the Glen Rovers wizard his fame spread beyond Ireland's shore
his name will live as long as the game of hurling and that will be forever more
He inspired the poets to write of him and the song writers of him did sing
And he was the hurler of all Seasons the legendary Christy Ring.

poem by Francis Duggan
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Mick Cashman

In the Cork County Senior Football Championship Final of 1957 I still recall the day
The last time I see Mick Cashman for his home club Millstreet Play
At the Cork Athletic grounds that day the Duhallow men were beat
The City Club St Finbarrs proved too good for Millstreet.

The Barrs fans celebrated the victory was sweet
But Mick Cashman played a great game he was gallant in defeat
In the biggest day in Cork County for the game of Gaelic Football
And though Millstreet lost to go that far they did well overall.

Mick Cashman was ordained a priest and for New Zealand he was bound
Far from Millstreet in Duhallow and Tullig his home ground
In the green and gold of Millstreet he was never seen again
But what was a loss to Ireland was surely New Zealand's gain.

Mick Cashman was a gentleman and of him 'twould be fair to say
That to help out other people he went out of his way
A Parish Priest in New Zealand where he was known far and wide
And his success in his adopted Country to Millstreet a sense of pride.

He is buried in New Zealand far south and far away
From Tullig above Millstreet Town where he first saw light of day
Last saw him in a Cork County Final for Millstreet playing Gaelic Football
A good memory till my own end that I surely will recall.

poem by Francis Duggan
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On The 09 All Ireland Football Final

For the Cork Gaelic Footballers another humbling defeat
By their neighbours Kerry in Croke Park once more they've been beat
In Gaelic Football in Ireland Kerry to the fore
With 36 All Ireland titles and their fans hoping for more.

My mum was from Kerry that I cannot deny
But why it aches me when Cork lose a big game I do wonder why?
Though long absent from Ireland a sense of parochialism I do retain
Some-things from our past always with us do remain.

But Kerry fans with their 09 All Ireland victory need not get carried away
As their hurlers are quite poor though that does seem a sad thing for to have to say
Like Kilkenny Ireland's premier hurling County Kerry G A A rankings low
The lowest even in Munster as all G A A fans do know.

For the Liam Mcarthy Cup Kerry Hurlers never allowed for to play
For that not deemed to be good enough by the administrators of the G A A
Like the Kilkenny Footballers Kerry Hurlers amongst the lowly rate
Though their many Football victories their fans have to celebrate.

Kerry are 09 All Ireland Senior Football Champions their neighbours Cork they did outplay
In Croke Park in Dublin Ireland on September's third sunday
But Cork the only winners of the Hurling and Football double for them an amazing feat
With Ireland best Football and Hurling Counties at the highest level do compete.

poem by Francis Duggan
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Miss Otis Regrets

Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
But last evening down in lover's lane she strayed, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
When she woke up and found that her dream of love was gone, madam,
She ran to the man who had led her so far astray,
And from under her velvet gown,
She drew a gun and shot her love down, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
When the mob came and got her and dragged her from the jail, madam,
They strung her upon the old willow across the way,
And the moment before she died,
She lifted up her lovely head and cried, madam......
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today

song performed by Ella Fitzgerald
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Out To Lunch

(j. spinks)
Im ­ out of my head
You ­ wont understand me
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends i? m all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im so far out to lunch
I? m under a spell
You won? t recognize me
Don? t come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im so far out to lunch
Im out to lunch ­ mmm ­ wont you listen ­ Im to lunch
Hey just let me sleep
Please ­ dont pressurize me
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im so far out to lunch
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends ­ Im so far out to lunch
Im ­ out of my head ­ Im out of my head

song performed by Outfield
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I Loved A Man

(elton john/ george martin - lyrics based on the works of dylan thomas )
Producers for bonnie: george martin
Recorded in 1988 for george martin's production of dylan thomas's play 'under milk wood'. bonnie guested with a host of other welsh stars, including anthony hopkins and tom jones. lyrics taken from careful listening.
I loved a man who's name was tom
He's strong as a bear and two yards long
I loved a man who's name was dick
He was big as a barrel and three feet thick
And i loved a man who's name was harry
Six feet tall and sweet as a cherry
But the one i love best, awake or asleep
Was little willie wee, and he's six feet deep
Oh tom, dick and harry were three fine men
And i'll never have such loving again
Little willie wee who took me on his knee
Little willie weasel was the man for me
Now men from every parish 'round
Run after me and roll me on the ground
But whenever i love another man back
Johnny from the hill, or sailing jack
I always think as they do what they please
Of tom, dick and harry who are tall as trees
But most i think when i'm by their side
Of little willie wee who downed and died
Oh tom, dick and harry were three fine men
And i'll never have such loving again
Little willie wee who took me on his knee
Little willie weasel was the man for me
Little willie weasel was the man for me
(the following is a reprise featured later)
Now when farmers boys on the first fair day
Come down from the hills to drink and be gay
Before the sun sinks, i lie there in their arms
For they're good bad boys from the lonely farms
And i always think as we tumble into bed
Of little willie wee, who's dead, dead, dead

song performed by Bonnie Tyler
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Big Jilm

Rollin and wheelin, stealin and dealin - big jim
Bol weevil, its a pleasel, its a pleasel, my weasel - big jim
Dreamin and schemin, screamin and bleedin - big jim
Froggy in the meadow under the log - big jim
Rollin and wheelin, stealin and dealin - big jim
Bol weevil, its a pleasel, its a pleasel, my weasel - big jim
Big jim
Whats the biggest thing you ever did done see?
Big jim
I mean, whats the biggest, biggest thing you ever did done see?
Big jim
Rollin and wheelin, stealin and dealin - big jim (big jim! big jim!)
(doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo)
Bol weevil, its a pleasel, its a pleasel, my weasel - big jim (big jim!)
Dreamin and schemin, screamin and bleedin - big jim (big jim! big jim!)
Froggy in the meadow under the log - big jim (big jim!)
Big jim
I mean, biggest thing you ever did done see?
Big jim (big jim)
Biggest thing you ever did done see - big jim (big jim! big jim!)
Doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo (big jim)
Doo doo doo

song performed by Ween
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Girls Just Want To Have Lunch

[parody of girls just want to have fun by cyndi lauper]
I know to keep a woman satisfied.
When I whip out my diners card their eyes get so wide.
Theyre always in the mood for something to munch.
Ah girls, they wanna have lunch.
Ah, girls just wanna have...
Thats all they really want,
Some lunch.
Dont ask em to dinner
Or breakfast or brunch,
cause girls, they wanna have lunch.
Ah, girls just wanna have lunch.
Girls they want, wanna have lunch, girls, wanna have...

song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
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I Wish Lunch Could Last Forever

I wish lunch could last forever
By: jimmy buffett, jay oliver
1989
The place down the block, the one with no clock
Covert rendez-vous with you at the usual time
I savor the scent of the fish on the grill
Lifes so spicy up on bar-b-q hill
Looking good, you look so fine
Waiter bring us one more bottle of wine
Chorus:
I wish lunch could last forever
Make the whole day on big afternoon
Well begin with dessert a little coconut tart
Tastes as sweet as a piece of your heart
Cafe au lait beneath the paris moon
Dont hide your eyes just wear your disguise
Brazils in the air I swear it feels like mardi gras time
I savor the scent love that annick goutal
As we walk in time to the cathedral bells
Chorus:
I wish lunch could last forever
Make the whole day on big afternoon
Well begin with dessert a little coconut tart
Tastes as sweet as a piece of your heart
Cafe au lait beneath the paris moon
Oh yeah, uh huh, ooooh...
I wish love could last forever
Make the whole day a first time love affair
Well begin with a kiss, such a warm place to start
Let me into your life let me into your heart
Mea culpa mea culpa carnivals in the air
Well begin with a kiss, such a warm place to start
Let me into your life let me into your heart
I wish, I wish that lunch could last forever
Oh yeah, uh huh, oh, oh...
-- spoken:
Tout la jour, mademoiselle [ everyday, mademoiselle ]
Dejeuner tout la jour [ lunch every day ]
Ah oui, une boutelle de vin blanc [ ah yes, a bottle of white wine ]
Un dessert? cest necessaire [ a dessert? its necessary ... ]
Tres necessaire [ ...very necessary ]

song performed by Jimmy Buffett
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Miss Otis Regrets

(cole porter)
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.
Madam...
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
But last evening down at lover's lane, she strayed.
Madam...
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.
~interlude~
When she woke from her dream
And found that her love had gone,
Madam...
She ran to the man
Who had led her so far astray.
And from under her velvet gown,
She drew a gun and shot her lover down.
Madam...
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.
Then the mob came and got her
And dragged her from the jail.
Madam...
They strung her upon
A willow across the way.
And the moment before she died,
She lifted up her lovely head and cried.
Madam...
Miss otis regrets
She's unable to lunch today.

song performed by Nat King Cole
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