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I almost died, secretly, behind closed doors.

quote by Stephen Baldwin
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Secretly Cruel

I saw my pictures hangin on her wall
She cut it out of that magazine
It was a hot day, she wore lingerie
And nothin else in between, ooh
She had long hair and thigh high snake skin boots
And she was all over me like a cheap suit
Then she bared herself, aha
And stripped my soul
Began to shake, rattle, and roll
Then I took control, yeah
But I know shes secretly cruel
I aint nobodys fool
Yeah, I know shes secretly cruel
Just when I though it was safe
She puts her lips to my face
Shes secretly, secretly cruel
Well she grabbed my hair
And I began to rise
I could tell what she wanted
By that look in her eyes, oh, ow
By that look in her eyes, yeah
I said come here babe and make it quick
She said not so fast
And had a drink
Well it aint just luck
But I better knock on wood
Shes gonna give me everything
Somehow I knew she would
Oh, but I know shes secretly cruel
I aint nobodys fool
Well, I know shes secretly cruel
I said baby youre the fire, but I am the fuel
Shes secretly, secretly cruel
Yeah, so cruel
Well it aint just luck (aint just luck)
But I better knock on wood, yeah
Shes gonna give me everything
Somehow I knew she would
Oh, but I know shes secretly cruel
I aint nobodys fool, nobodys fool
Secretly, shes so cruel (cruel)
Im in love, but I dont play the fool
Secretly, shes so cruel, secretly, so cruel
Cruel, yeah, cruel, yeah, cruel, yeah
I know shes secretly, shes so cruel, secretly, so cruel
Cruel, yeah, cruel, yeah, cruel, yeah
I know shes secretly, shes so cruel, secretly, shes so cruel
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, secretly, secretly cruel, cruel

song performed by Kiss
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The Most Complex Of All The Symptoms Of Impossible Loving...

Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new kind of enchantment waiting to be discovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new form of enchantment waiting to be discovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new kind of refinement waiting to be discovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new form of refinement waiting to be discovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new kind of threshold waiting to be discovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new form of threshold waiting to be discovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new kind of splendour waiting to be discovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new form of splendour waiting to be discovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new kind of enchantment waiting to be recovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new form of enchantment waiting to be recovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new kind of refinement waiting to be recovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new form of refinement waiting to be recovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new kind of threshold waiting to be recovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new form of threshold waiting to be recovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new kind of splendour waiting to be recovered
Flowing secretly between heaven and earth always is
A new form of splendour waiting to be recovered...

SÃO PAULO_JUN/2006

poem by Hedilberto Ferreirah
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Behind Closed Doors

(kenny odell)
My baby makes me proud
Lord, dont he make me proud
He never makes a scene
By hangin all over me in a crowd
cause people like to talk
Lord, dont they like to talk
But when they turn out the lights
I know hell be leavin with me
And when we get behind closed doors
Then I let my hair hang down
He makes me glad that Im a woman
Oh, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors
My baby makes me smile
Lord, dont he make me smile
Hes never far away
Or too tired to say I want you
And Im always a lady
Just like a lady should be
But when they turn out the lights
Hes still my baby to me
And when we get behind closed doors
Then I let my hair hang down
Oh, he makes me glad Im a woman
Oh, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors
Oh, behind closed doors
I let my hair hang down
Im glad that Im a woman
No one knows what goes on behind closed doors
Behind closed doors
I let my hair hang down
He makes me glad Im a woman
No one knows what goes on behind closed doors
And when we get behind closed doors
Then I let my hair hang down

song performed by Diana Ross
Added by Lucian Velea
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The House Of Dust: Complete

I.

The sun goes down in a cold pale flare of light.
The trees grow dark: the shadows lean to the east:
And lights wink out through the windows, one by one.
A clamor of frosty sirens mourns at the night.
Pale slate-grey clouds whirl up from the sunken sun.

And the wandering one, the inquisitive dreamer of dreams,
The eternal asker of answers, stands in the street,
And lifts his palms for the first cold ghost of rain.
The purple lights leap down the hill before him.
The gorgeous night has begun again.

'I will ask them all, I will ask them all their dreams,
I will hold my light above them and seek their faces.
I will hear them whisper, invisible in their veins . . .'
The eternal asker of answers becomes as the darkness,
Or as a wind blown over a myriad forest,
Or as the numberless voices of long-drawn rains.

We hear him and take him among us, like a wind of music,
Like the ghost of a music we have somewhere heard;
We crowd through the streets in a dazzle of pallid lamplight,
We pour in a sinister wave, ascend a stair,
With laughter and cry, and word upon murmured word;
We flow, we descend, we turn . . . and the eternal dreamer
Moves among us like light, like evening air . . .

Good-night! Good-night! Good-night! We go our ways,
The rain runs over the pavement before our feet,
The cold rain falls, the rain sings.
We walk, we run, we ride. We turn our faces
To what the eternal evening brings.

Our hands are hot and raw with the stones we have laid,
We have built a tower of stone high into the sky,
We have built a city of towers.

Our hands are light, they are singing with emptiness.
Our souls are light; they have shaken a burden of hours . . .
What did we build it for? Was it all a dream? . . .
Ghostly above us in lamplight the towers gleam . . .
And after a while they will fall to dust and rain;
Or else we will tear them down with impatient hands;
And hew rock out of the earth, and build them again.

II.

[...] Read more

poem by Conrad Potter Aiken
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One Way To Go

Youve got to lift yourself up so high
Youve got to lift yourself up so high
You cant see the ground
You cant see the ground
You dont hear a sound
You dont hear a sound
Youve got to move it up so slow
Youve got to move it up so slow
You see it all
You see it all
Youll probably fall
Youll probably fall
Id rather die than see you fly
Than see you try
Id rather die than see you fly
Id rather die than see you fly
Than see you try
Than see you try
Id rather die than see you fly
Than see you try
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
I dont care what I find
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
I dont know what Ill find
I dont care what I find
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
Youve got to move me up
I dont know what Ill find
So high it hurts
So high it burns
But if you let me down
Youve got to move me up
Dont bother to call
So high it hurts
Just let me fall
So high it burns
Id rather die than see you fly
But if you let me down
Than see you try
Dont bother to call
Id rather die than see you fly
Just let me fall
Than see you try
Id rather die than see you fly
Than see you try
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
Id rather die than see you fly
I dont know what Ill find
Than see you try

[...] Read more

song performed by Verve
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One Way To Go

Youve got to lift yourself up so high
Youve got to lift yourself up so high
You cant see the ground
You cant see the ground
You dont hear a sound
You dont hear a sound
Youve got to move it up so slow
Youve got to move it up so slow
You see it all
You see it all
Youll probably fall
Youll probably fall
Id rather die than see you fly
Than see you try
Id rather die than see you fly
Id rather die than see you fly
Than see you try
Than see you try
Id rather die than see you fly
Than see you try
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
I dont care what I find
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
I dont know what Ill find
I dont care what I find
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
Youve got to move me up
I dont know what Ill find
So high it hurts
So high it burns
But if you let me down
Youve got to move me up
Dont bother to call
So high it hurts
Just let me fall
So high it burns
Id rather die than see you fly
But if you let me down
Than see you try
Dont bother to call
Id rather die than see you fly
Just let me fall
Than see you try
Id rather die than see you fly
Than see you try
Its like pushing locked doors to get in your mind
Id rather die than see you fly
I dont know what Ill find
Than see you try

[...] Read more

song performed by Verve
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The Parish Register - Part III: Burials

THERE was, 'tis said, and I believe, a time
When humble Christians died with views sublime;
When all were ready for their faith to bleed,
But few to write or wrangle for their creed;
When lively Faith upheld the sinking heart,
And friends, assured to meet, prepared to part;
When Love felt hope, when Sorrow grew serene,
And all was comfort in the death-bed scene.
Alas! when now the gloomy king they wait,
'Tis weakness yielding to resistless fate;
Like wretched men upon the ocean cast,
They labour hard and struggle to the last;
'Hope against hope,' and wildly gaze around
In search of help that never shall be found:
Nor, till the last strong billow stops the breath,
Will they believe them in the jaws of Death!
When these my Records I reflecting read,
And find what ills these numerous births succeed;
What powerful griefs these nuptial ties attend;
With what regret these painful journeys end;
When from the cradle to the grave I look,
Mine I conceive a melancholy book.
Where now is perfect resignation seen?
Alas! it is not on the village-green: -
I've seldom known, though I have often read,
Of happy peasants on their dying-bed;
Whose looks proclaimed that sunshine of the breast,
That more than hope, that Heaven itself express'd.
What I behold are feverish fits of strife,
'Twixt fears of dying and desire of life:
Those earthly hopes, that to the last endure;
Those fears, that hopes superior fail to cure;
At best a sad submission to the doom,
Which, turning from the danger, lets it come.
Sick lies the man, bewilder'd, lost, afraid,
His spirits vanquish'd, and his strength decay'd;
No hope the friend, the nurse, the doctor lend -
'Call then a priest, and fit him for his end.'
A priest is call'd; 'tis now, alas! too late,
Death enters with him at the cottage-gate;
Or time allow'd--he goes, assured to find
The self-commending, all-confiding mind;
And sighs to hear, what we may justly call
Death's common-place, the train of thought in all.
'True I'm a sinner,' feebly he begins,
'But trust in Mercy to forgive my sins:'
(Such cool confession no past crimes excite!
Such claim on Mercy seems the sinner's right!)
'I know mankind are frail, that God is just,
And pardons those who in his Mercy trust;

[...] Read more

poem by George Crabbe
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Died

I could climb until I reach where angels reside
Ask around to find out where the junkies applied
You just up and left me on this rock all alone
Its my fault for knowing now what I should have known
Ohhhh oh oh
My heart is tired of beating slow
Ohh ohh
Its been depleating since you died
Died
Since you died
You died
I could drop until I touch the sinister side
Visit all attractions flippin back and aside
Still you leave me rotting on this rock all alone
Its my fault for knowing not what I should have known
Ohhhh oh oh
My heart is tired of beating slow
Ohh ohh
Its been depleating since you died
Died
Since you died
You died
Ohhh oh oh
My heart is tired of beating slow
Uhh ohh
Its been depleating since you died
Died
Since you died
You died
I could climb until I reach where angels reside
I could drop until I touch the sinister side
Ohhhh oh
My heart is tired of beating slow
Uhh ohh
Its been depleating since you died
Died
Since you died
You died
Died
You died
Died
You died

song performed by Alice In Chains
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Behind Closed Doors

Written by new order
There is a secret place
Underneath a tree
Where if you go and haste
You will find a key
The key will open doors
And you will look inside
The things that you will see
Will open up your eyes
At any given time
On every other street
The city comes to life
Though everyones asleep
A man beats up his wife
He doesnt wanna keep
Behind closed doors
Theyre in retreat
I dont know what makes me stay
The city life just aint the same
Theres something wrong with kids today
I blame the parents anyway
Theres no hope
No one to trust
I cant cope
Its obvious
Please dont take my drugs away
Im gonna give them up someday
There is a place somewhere
That I could call a home
Id live without a care
Id never be alone
One day I will get there
I feel it in my bones
I check upon the scores
I listen to the coors
Behind closed doors
Behind closed doors
Behind closed doors
Behind closed doors
They still want more
Behind closed doors

song performed by New Order
Added by Lucian Velea
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Love Potion

Chorus
I'll brew you a love potion
Even if it takes me five days
Five days would certainly be worth
All this pain you've secretly been giving me
But you didn't know it
End chorus
I'll wait for you by the fireside
Even if it takes me all night
All night would certainly be worth
Getting rid of this pain you've secretly been giving me
But you didn't know it
I'll brew you a love potion
Even if it takes me five days
Five days would certainly be worth
All this pain you've secretly been giving me
But you didn't know it
I'll sit with you, alone there
Sharing stories and trading laughs
Those laughs would all be worth
This pain you've secretly been giving me
But you didn't know it
I'll brew you a love potion
Even if it takes me five days
Five days would certainly be worth
All this pain you've secretly been giving me
But you didn't know it
Later on we'll sit there, old as dust
And you'll wish you could have willed me away
But I'll hold you close as we die
These days would certainly be worth
All this pain you've secretly been giving me
But you didn't know it
I'll brew you a love potion
Even if it takes me five days
Five days would certainly be worth
All this pain you've secretly been giving me
But you didn't know it
At the end of life I'll wish to bring
Those old days back from the dead
Relive them over and over again
When I brewed you that love potion
And it took me five days
Five days were certainly worth
All that pain you blasted me with
But you didn't know it
And now you know it
It's too late, you fell in love
You fell in love potion
Like the one I brewed for you

poem by Mye3
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Give Your Heart To The Hawks

1 he apples hung until a wind at the equinox,

That heaped the beach with black weed, filled the dry grass

Under the old trees with rosy fruit.

In the morning Fayne Fraser gathered the sound ones into a

basket,

The bruised ones into a pan. One place they lay so thickly
She knelt to reach them.

Her husband's brother passing
Along the broken fence of the stubble-field,
His quick brown eyes took in one moving glance
A little gopher-snake at his feet flowing through the stubble
To gain the fence, and Fayne crouched after apples
With her mop of red hair like a glowing coal
Against the shadow in the garden. The small shapely reptile
Flowed into a thicket of dead thistle-stalks
Around a fence-post, but its tail was not hidden.
The young man drew it all out, and as the coil
Whipped over his wrist, smiled at it; he stepped carefully
Across the sag of the wire. When Fayne looked up
His hand was hidden; she looked over her shoulder
And twitched her sunburnt lips from small white teeth
To answer the spark of malice in his eyes, but turned
To the apples, intent again. Michael looked down
At her white neck, rarely touched by the sun,
But now the cinnabar-colored hair fell off from it;
And her shoulders in the light-blue shirt, and long legs like a boy's
Bare-ankled in blue-jean trousers, the country wear;
He stooped quietly and slipped the small cool snake
Up the blue-denim leg. Fayne screamed and writhed,
Clutching her thigh. 'Michael, you beast.' She stood up
And stroked her leg, with little sharp cries, the slender invader
Fell down her ankle.

Fayne snatched for it and missed;

Michael stood by rejoicing, his rather small

Finely cut features in a dance of delight;

Fayne with one sweep flung at his face

All the bruised and half-spoiled apples in the pan,

[...] Read more

poem by Robinson Jeffers
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Evangeline: A Tale of Acadie

This is the forest primeval. The murmuring pines and the hemlocks,
Bearded with moss, and in garments green, indistinct in the twilight,
Stand like Druids of eld, with voices sad and prophetic,
Stand like harpers hoar, with beards that rest on their bosoms.
Loud from its rocky caverns, the deep-voiced neighboring ocean
Speaks, and in accents disconsolate answers the wail of the forest.

This is the forest primeval; but where are the hearts that beneath it
Leaped like the roe, when he hears in the woodland the voice of the huntsman
Where is the thatch-roofed village, the home of Acadian farmers,--
Men whose lives glided on like rivers that water the woodlands,
Darkened by shadows of earth, but reflecting an image of heaven?
Waste are those pleasant farms, and the farmers forever departed!
Scattered like dust and leaves, when the mighty blasts of October
Seize them, and whirl them aloft, and sprinkle them far o'er the ocean
Naught but tradition remains of the beautiful village of Grand-Pre.

Ye who believe in affection that hopes, and endures, and is patient,
Ye who believe in the beauty and strength of woman's devotion,
List to the mournful tradition still sung by the pines of the forest;
List to a Tale of Love in Acadie, home of the happy.

PART THE FIRST

I

In the Acadian land, on the shores of the Basin of Minas,
Distant, secluded, still, the little village of Grand-Pre
Lay in the fruitful valley. Vast meadows stretched to the eastward,
Giving the village its name, and pasture to flocks without number.
Dikes, that the hands of the farmers had raised with labor incessant,
Shut out the turbulent tides; but at stated seasons the flood-gates
Opened, and welcomed the sea to wander at will o'er the meadows.
West and south there were fields of flax, and orchards and cornfields
Spreading afar and unfenced o'er the plain; and away to the northward
Blomidon rose, and the forests old, and aloft on the mountains
Sea-fogs pitched their tents, and mists from the mighty Atlantic
Looked on the happy valley, but ne'er from their station descended
There, in the midst of its farms, reposed the Acadian village.
Strongly built were the houses, with frames of oak and of hemlock,
Such as the peasants of Normandy built in the reign of the Henries.
Thatched were the roofs, with dormer-windows; and gables projecting
Over the basement below protected and shaded the doorway.
There in the tranquil evenings of summer, when brightly the sunset
Lighted the village street and gilded the vanes on the chimneys,
Matrons and maidens sat in snow-white caps and in kirtles
Scarlet and blue and green, with distaffs spinning the golden
Flax for the gossiping looms, whose noisy shuttles within doors

[...] Read more

poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Packt Like Sardines In A Crushd Tin Box

there are bomb? doors and there are revolving doors doors on the rudders of big ships and there are revolving doors there are doors that open by themselves there are sliding doors and there are secret doors there are doors that lock and doors that don't there are doors that let you in and out but never open but there are trap doors that you can't come back from

song performed by Radiohead
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Two Doors Down

Chorus:
Two doors down
Theyre laughing and drinkin, and having a party
Two doors down
Theyre not aware that Im around
Cause here I am
Crying my heart out, feelin sorry while
Theyre having a party two doors down
I think Ill dry these useless tears
And get myself together
I think Ill wonder down the hall
And have a look around
cause I cant stay inside
This lonely room and cry forever
I think I really rather join em
Two door down, yeah
Repeat chorus
cause here I am
No longer cryin an feelin sorry
Were having a party just two doors down
I cant believe Im standin here
Dry-eyed, all smiles and talkin
Making conversation with the new love I have found
I ask him if hed like to be alone and we start walkin
Down the hall to my place waitin two doors down, yeah
Repeat chorus
cause here I am
Feelin everything but sorry
Were having our own party two doors down
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Two doors down
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Two doors down
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Two doors down
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Two doors down, oh
Repeat chorus
cause here we am
Feelin everything but sorry
Were havin our own party
Two doors down, yeah
Fade:
Repeat chorus

song performed by Dolly Parton
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Secretly

Secretly
I'm wanting you
And I'm hoping you want me too
I smell your scent across the room
And I can't wait to get next to you

It's like I'm lost
I don't know
But this feeling that I have about you
Will you ever know

Secretly
I'm wanting you
And I'm hoping you want me too
I smell your scent across the room
And I can't wait to get next to you

Whatever I see (when I look at you across the room)
Whatever I hear (I wonder if he loves me too)
Whatever I do (I just think about you for hours)

Oh baby
And it's got me thinking of you

Secretly
I'm wanting you
And I'm hoping you want me too
I smell your scent across the room
And I can't wait to get next to you

Whenever you speak
Whenever you
Oooh
Whenever you breath
Baby
Let me touch you
Please

Secretly
I'm wanting you
And I'm hoping you want me too
I smell your scent across the room
And I can't wait to get next to you

Secretly
I'm wanting you
And I'm hoping you want me too
I smell your scent across the room
And I can't wait to get next to you

[...] Read more

song performed by Jennifer Lopez from J. Lo
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Pull Pulk Revolving Doors

There are barn doors
And there are revolving doors

Doors on the rudders of big ships
We are revolving doors

There are doors that open by themselves
There are sliding doors
And there are secret doors

There are doors that lock
And doors that don't

There are doors that let you in
And out
But never open
But they are trapdoors
That you can't come back from

song performed by Radiohead
Added by Lucian Velea
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Pull / Pulk Revolving Doors

There are barn doors
And there are revolving doors
Doors on the rudders of big ships
And there are revolving doors
There are doors that open by themselves
There are sliding doors
And there are secret doors
There are doors that lock
And doors that dont
There are doors that let you in
And out
But never open
But there are trapdoors
That you cant come back from

song performed by Radiohead
Added by Lucian Velea
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Day That I Die

One day I woke up woke up knowing today is the day I will die
Cashdogg was barking went to the park and enjoyed that one last time
Called my mother told her I loved her and begged her not to cry
Wrote her a letter that said Id miss her and signed that goodbye...
You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life is the day that I die
(the day that I died)
Can you feel the cold tonight?
(the day that I died)
It sets in but its alright
(the day that I died)
Darkness falls Im letting go
(the day that I died)
All alone but I feel fine
We took a drive and we drove thru d.c.
To see the places we lived, long conversations
We talked of old friends and all the things that we did
Summer nights, drunken fights
Mistakes we made...did we live it right?
You know the happiest day of my life I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I died
(the day that I died)
Can you feel the cold tonight?
(the day that I died)
It sets in but its alright
(the day that I died)
Darkness falls Im letting go
(the day that I died)
All alone but I feel just fine
You know the happiest day of my life
I know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life is the day that I died
(the day that I died)
Can you feel the cold tonight?
(the day that I died)
It sets in but its alright
(the day that I died)
Darkness falls Im letting go
(the day that I died)
All alone but I feel just fine
Did I live it right?
I hope I lived it right
I hope I lived it right, I know I lived it right
Did I live it right?
I hope I lived it right, I know I lived it right

song performed by Good Charlotte
Added by Lucian Velea
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How many times has God died for me?

HOW MANY TIMES HAS GOD DIED FOR ME?

How many times has God died for me?
Yes, he’s died
And time and time again
As I’ve written in my book
How many times has God died for me?

How many times has God died for me?
A useful if cryptic phrase
Nietzsche coined in the 19th century
“When Zarathustra was alone, however,
he said to his heart:
'Could it be possible!
This old saint in the forest
hath not yet heard of it,
that God is dead! '

How many times has God died for me?
Each time I’ve had a paradigm shift
In my theological perspective
The God I had died and was replaced
Not by no God but a new God

How many times has God died for me?
A new God but still my God
The product of my heart and my head
A bit less Trinitarian
A bit closer to my own self

How many times has God died for me?
Now he’s not up there nor out there
But in there, a personal creation
Adaptable and changing with circumstances
According to my living, according to my reading.

How many times has God died for me?
I have no room for a God who is exclusive
I have no room for a God who is dogmatic
I have no room for a God, who is sexist,
Racist, anti-gay and British.

How many times has God died for me?
Yes God, my God, needed to die
And be reborn, reinvented
In a more user-friendly package.
So to make God more like me is to make God more PC!

How many times has God died for me?

[...] Read more

poem by James Hart
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Behind Closed Doors

My baby makes me proud
Lord, don't she make me proud
she never makes a scene
By hangin' all over me in a crowd
'Cause people like to talk
Lord, don't they love to talk
But when they turn out the lights
I know she'll be leavin' with me
And when we get behind closed doors
Then she let's her hair hang down
And she makes me glad that I'm a man
Oh, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors
My baby makes me smile
Lord, don't she make me smile
she's never far away
Or too tired to say I want you
She's always a lady
Just like a lady should be
But when they turn out the lights
She's still my baby to me
'Cause when we get behind closed doors
Then she let's her hair hang down
And she makes me glad I'm a man
Oh, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors
Behind closed doors

song performed by Charlie Rich, lyrics by Kenny O'Dell from Behind Closed Doors (1973)
Added by Jeffrey Kosloske
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