1-900-ll Cool J
{*phone rings twice*}
Yo.. hello 1-900-ll cool j?
Yeah whassup? can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?
Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey
I motivate, accelerate
Devestate, and dominate
I dont smoke crack so I wont lose weight
Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and Im straight
Go to a resteraunt, give me steak
Then cook my chicken with shakenbake
I leave all the preachin to reverand flake
How much money can one black man make? huh
Im whats known as a true dynamiter
I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
Go with the flow, but no, Im not a biter
Cant compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
Cause youre bitin my lyrics like a nestle crunch, huh
And bitin my rhymes aint slick
I got your gold teeth marks all over my {*phone rings*}
Complications and aggravation
An unnecessary-sation
Im like sunkist, good vibrations
Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
Cool out, grab a seat and listen..
Cause ima start dismissin
Sucker mcs whos out there frontin
Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin
Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasnt loyal
Now its all about chaos and turmoil
.. gimme that microphone
Ima show you the real meaning of the danger zone
{*phone rings*}
Yo.. hello is this 1-900-ll cool j?
Yeah whassup? can you tell me what you do when youre coolin out?
Yo check this out
Now when Im coolin out, no time for a granny
Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
Can ll {*censored*}? man, can he?
I tell you what, give up the fanny
Cause on a bedroom tomb, j swift
Not too big, but nothin to play with
In addition, you on a mission
You need to audition for another position
Doin damage is a crew tradition
Name your next al-blum intermission
Youre full of preservatives -- plus,
Youre too conservative
Im full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre
Theres no competition, for this here
So dont waste your time and breath
Im givin you all a big f
Mcs I envelop..
.. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops
Im asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic
You dont want no static
Anyway, I aint havin it!
When I see the microphone -- Im grabbin it
Plug it in and take charge
Ll xl, xtra-large
Knowhatimsayin? peace
{*phone rings three times*}
Hello?
Hello whassup girl?
How you doin girl? I been tryin to call you all day
Word up I was talkin to ll he was kickin some mo hyped up rhymes to me
Word, I spoke to him today too - them rhymes was pumpin
Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here
Alright
See-ya
song performed by LL Cool J
Added by Lucian Velea
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