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It is not my sin

Ah how thousand of moments have shattered me; left me within myself.
Unable and unwilling to divulge my fears, my hopes, my needs to you.
Doomed to failure, it persists.
Your actions, your deeds, unbeknown to you,
have conjured this vulnerability you`ve bestowed upon me -
such honour leaves me giggling (not) .
I will tell you a long standing secret: I fear life because of you.
Oh, perhaps it is no secret, but anyway...
Yes, this fear of life and of loving to the fullest has made my heart into a castle -
not the Cinderella, ''happily-ever-after'' kind of castle...
but more of the dark, gloomy kind giving me a glimpse only of the dark, side of the sun.
I search for the colour of reason but find rather aglow a shadow on the wall.
Although you'd never admit it: this is your sin, not mine.

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