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Hate is Such a Strong Word

I hate my life.

I hate that we have to eat whatever my parents want

Everyday

Even though I usually don't like it

They don't care

I hate that I don't live up to the standards set by my brother

And parents

I hate that I'm the stupidest one in my family

And they tell me

I hate that I'm not pretty.

I hate that I am fat.

I hate that people try to tell me that I am pretty

And that I'm thin

I'm not

They won't get over it

I hate that I can't get over little things.

I hate that boys never like me.

None have

I think they're really sweet sometimes

But they all just like my friends.

I hate that all of my friends are pretty,

And nice,

And smart.

And it makes me feel really subpar.

Even though they have no idea how much it hurts.

I hate that my friends get all the attention.

I hate that I'm insecure.

I hate that I have had an eating disorder.

I hate that I'm depressed.

I hate that I am too embarrassed

So I don't go see a nutritionist

Doctor said so.

I hate that I can't cry.

I hate that I blow things out of proportion.

I hate that I am such a drama queen.

I hate that everyone is better at things than I am-

Singing.

School.

I hate that I still have glasses.

I hate that I am so uncomfortable in my own skin

And am scared to let people see the real me.

I hate that I hate so many things.

I hate that people think no one cares-

When for me they really don't.

I hate that I have absolutely zero confidence in myself.

I hate that I've thought about committing suicide.

And that I'm such a teenage cliché.

I hate that my grandfather is dead

It's not his fault he died so near a national holiday

And no one seems to notice how much it is affecting me.

I hate that my family is always stressed out.

I hate that if my parents read this

They probably would pretend to care

Then would go and complain about how horrible I am

And how I take everything for granted.

I hate that everyone else in my family can seem happy.

I hate that I am a selfish spoiled bitch

Because I don't try to be

I hate that I don't know what to do anymore.

I hate that I'm so confused.

I hate that I hate my life.

poem by Jennie Scheihing
Added by Poetry Lover
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