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For You On Your Birthday

It’s March the second——
somehow again it has come.
Outside the weary sky yawns light
and I am feeling numb.
I should be calling you right now
on a tired telephone;
but I cannot bring myself to
pretend you will not condone.
Sitting silent in silent shadows
hugging my knees up close to me and deciding,
deciding.
It’s all about the decisions with you,
it’s all about the derisions with you.
I can’t say I don’t know this day,
I am the sun without the shine, dull
and unending,
my body here and now and frozen with
my heart trapped in time.
My breath trapped, locked
in my lungs.
You can stare and you can scorn
but you know me.
This is the correlation between dignity and pride.
What have you after all these years,
what have you left to hide?
What have you seen that made you refuse to
coincide?
It’s March the second, two years later,
still much where we were.
The days are turning, rotating crazy,
I remember a shining green hill and shimmery sky
and a daisy.
The funny thing is, you never had any
daisies.

My heart is like a broken drum, with broken beats
rum pum pum.
My heart is like a shattered mirror——
or do you hold your pride dearer?
This is the correlation between heartbreak and pride,
because you are breaking my heart
with every, every smile.
And all the while:
what have you after all these years
what have you left to hide?
Am I too young to see
this brutal
side?
Am I too young to see this
dream die?
I will watch the sunrise, watch the
sunset glisten into condensation
between my fingers,
waiting for the simile; for
the correlation:
March the second, here it comes,
it will come and it will come
and never stop coming.
Whatever you say now, it will last,
I’m going to live a long time.
So
this is the correlation between grace and pride.
What have you, after all these years,
what have you left to hide?
When every person lost of life has
raced before your eyes,
maybe then you’ll look up
in surprise.
Maybe then, I plead——
you’ll realize:
I won’t laugh and I won’t smile
when I reflect upon

all that took place here
even before
dawn.

poem by Caroline Weeks
Added by Poetry Lover
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