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A half true poem

I have taken the role
as the sad writer
who loves too much
and always gets
their heart broken
No.
I'm crueler than that.
I use my broken heart
to hide all of my
own mistakes.
Kissing and fucking
and trying to
find love
in another bed.
You didn't know anything.
Don't trust me
I play nice and act kind
and speak gently
but I'm crueler than
you could ever be.
and I hide it well.
I bet you had no idea.
'She would never hurt me! '
Wrong.
You may never feel it
but my disloyalty is lingering
It's waiting.
I have reserves of pain
for people
that they do not know of.
I hope no one
in the world
will ever see them.
I'm ashamed
but I'm not sorry.
Only sorry for one of them.
The one
I loved
the most
is the one
I left
behind.

poem by Vanessa Grixti
Added by Poetry Lover
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