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Pain

There seems to be spaces that couldn't can't be filled, I feel empty almost unreal, I feel I am no longer a human being, just a skeleton amongst living beings.
Where did I go wrong, when did I seemingly start to lose that smile, did I walk down the wrong road, am I a lost soul, have I lost control.
U know all I seem to do is fake smile, pretend to be fine, laugh even as if I am having fun, but slowly inside I die, will I ever be fine.
If I may ask am I even myself at this time, is this pain gonna take a while some indefinite time.
How do I begin to define this sad pain, this permanent stain, this heart piercing engraved pain?
I miss being in love and in the same breath loath it as well; I have come to a point where I don't care, I can't spare/neither prepare to love again.
I just can't just can't anymore give this already broken heart to anyone gain.
It's just amazing how it just blossoms like a sweet scented rose at the start, and just like that collapses almost harshly deliberately stomped upon, a once alive rose (Love) u chose. Left to die a silent death, out of breath, a love now coming to an end.
But in the end only God knows what plans he has for the human race.

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