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Anthology

I have learned to subsist
Barricaded by dominoes
Buoyed in isolation, and
Purged from treacherous marriages;
I have learned to get through
Without praying to a God
With no hopes for sedation
And no strings of expectation;
I have learned to breathe
Half-alive, half-dead
Disparate from the crowd
Flimsy with steadfast imposition;
And then I met people
In books and poems,
And I met these familiar emotions
In their phrases and lines,
And at the bud of cigarettes,
Underneath acid bottles,
And in corporeal flesh;
In vicarious situations,
And acquiesced sensations
And sedations—
Sangfroid dwellers
Of the poignant universe
Who had taught me
To turn everything over
And that prancing lions
Only makes me bold
And despondence
Only gives me faith
Making me feel safer
Dragging me to the bright side
But what happens
After the sunrise?
I learned, in existence,
To suppress fear
And hope, and its corollaries
And now it's dawning clear:
Fear is the heart of it.

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