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I have always expected to be happy in my mind
there I wanted to experience euphoria
and jubilant jubilation,

but instead
what I feel is in my body
not a voice I am used to
listening to.

Where does happy live;
apparently not only in the mind;

if it did
happy I would be.

But Body Happy
is new to me.

It is Peace;
unhurried
drama-less
Anxiety Free.

I am taken away
here
and not on alert
and attention;
rather
like melting;

ego-less,

which at first felt
threatening
but I could feel
a
Thunder
in my being
spreading
tingling,
explosion
at the end
orgasms
intensely;
a diffusion
of self,
uncontrollably,
a diffuseness,
and I
and me
gone
away
over-powered-ness;
all very different
than Mind Happiness.

Could I allow it to happen
again?
Could I be coached
to feel it again.?

We'll see.

Next chapter
is tonite.

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