In the Courts
She had been caught stealing bottles of perfume
and was a regular customer in her local Boots
the magistrate called her a professional thief
but she swore and said she didn't give two hoots.
He was known in the paper as the crazy Arsonist
as for some reason he liked to set fire to a school
when the Judge said he was a menace to the community
he just laughed at him and called him an old fool.
The paper had called her'a lady of the night'
as she liked to ply her trade on the street
it said she was a single mother of six kids
and she only did it to make ends meet.
Three armed robbers were sentenced in the Court
and they had all received Ten years apiece
but they'd lived the high life whilst on the run
and had property in Majorca, Ibiza, and Nice.
His charge was one of drink driving
but he claimed that he'd only had one or two
the Policeman said he was unsteady and slurring
but the defendant replied that was because he had Flu.
It said he'd been a member of the church for years
but the vicar had caught him in bed with his wife
the reverend said he was sorry he'd lost self control
but was accused of chasing the naked man with a knife.
In The Courts is in the local paper every day
and you can see why it's such a popular page
like when the Judge asked him why did he do it?
he replied because he thought looting was all the rage!
poem by Kevin Halls
Added by Poetry Lover
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