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Ethel And The Streaker (Fun Poem 82)

Based on characters created by Ray Stevens in his song The Streak.

Now Ethel was doing her shopping
with here friend Maizey-Be,
the local gossip of the community.
As they pushed their trolleys to the car
when someone shouted,
“Don’t look ladies! ”
It was too late;
Ethel looked and was moved on the spot.
Her mouth dropped open with absolute shock.
There darting across the car park
in all his naked glory with a saggy physic
was a streaker.
Maizey-Be saw him too
and fainted to the ground.
As fast as he came
the streaker was now gone.

Ethel was in the library
with her friend Maizey-Be,
the local gossip of the community.
They just picked a book from the shelf
when someone shouted,
“Don’t look Ladies.”
It was too late, Ethel already had an eye full
and was moved on the spot and dropped her book
the streaker came running
through the isle between the bookcases
in all his saggy glory.
Maizey-Be saw him too
and fainted on the floor
as the streaker rushed by
and disappeared out the door.

Ethel was at a baseball game
with her friend Maizey-Be,
the local gossip of the community.
As they watched, the batter hit a ball into out field
someone shouted,
“Ladies don’t look! ”
Too late, Ethel looked with her binoculars
and was moved on the spot.
The streaker was her beloved
husband Fred Trotalot.
He was showing everyone
more than she had seen in years
as he streaked around the diamond
to the home base.

Now Ethel and Maizey-Be
were not going to be out done.
They peeled off their cloths
and after Fred did run.
To their sagging body parts,
it was a breath of fresh air.
Fred looked back
and muttered to himself at the site.
“Oh my goodness, what have I done! ”
The ladies all wrinkly and crinkly
showed off their finery
to all those in the press box
who at the shock closed their eyes.
Fred kept on running, wanting to get there.
He couldn’t stop, as he had nothing to wear.

The police came running on to the field,
blankets in their hands to cover up the states
that was running round the field.
As each one they caught,
they marched them of the field,
until it was only Ethel
that was still running around.
Maizey-Be had fainted by this time
and rolled on her stomach to hide her modesty.
The crowd gave an ecstatic applause
as Ethel ran with her arms in the air.
It was as if she had scored a home run.
The police finally caught her
and all three were charged
with giving everyone the best laugh of the afternoon.
The baseball game continued
after this short interlude.

4 July 2008

poem by David Harris
Added by Poetry Lover
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