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Baywatch T.V.

Watch me strut slowly across the sunny beach,
A red swimsuit beauty wiggling her derriere peach,
your eyes swaying with each step, gaping at my posterior,
every man on his knees worshipping their mother superior,
as we’re at the scene of Baywatch’s shoreline paradise,
the ladies here are going to make you look more than twice,
the oh so gorgeous look to woo the doe eyed kids,
even though you could play the xylophone on her ribs,
whoops sorry to pinprick her dream bubble,
but she could pass off as Skeletor’s stunt double.

So whilst they swagger around like big super stars,
wearing nothing but bikini tops and skimpy bras,
just remember stars are in my eyes, so Matthew tonight,
I am going to be a Baywatch (T) rans(V) estite,
so just imagine a Swedish soft porn star,
with a shaven head and smoking a cigar,
as this G.I. Jane buried a lifeguard up to her neck in sand,
head first, like an ostrich, you must understand,
and nabbed one of her famous red costume tops,
then grabbed and donned a pair of flip flops.

This beach belle is ringing someone’s alarm bell,
for this babe is certainly no blonde bombshell,
put it this way if you like them hairy you’ll be fine,
as her beer belly isn’t streamline with no waxed bikini line,
but she has an explosive cleavage, bust ready to burst,
those water balloons won’t quench a baby’s thirst,
so don’t go squeezing her… erm Pammies,
as you might just pop those double whammies,
puncturing the only thing that keeps this coastguard afloat,
for once they’re gone she’ll no longer float your boat!

poem by Dale Mullock
Added by Poetry Lover
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