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Giving Up

I feel like i'm broken
I feel like i'm rotting at my core
I feel like my soul has fled from my body
I feel like i'm useless
I feel like a codependent whore
I feel like I have nothing left to give
I feel like you dont want me anymore
I feel like I have been thrown away
I feel like an abandoned child thrown out on the streets

Why do they have to lie to me
Why do they try to control me
Why do they try to tell me who I am

They don't know me
They don't own me
This shit has got to stop

I feel like I have done something terribly wrong
I feel like no one should have to deal with me
I feel like you shouldn't care for me anymore
I feel I have done more damage then a wreaking ball

I am a danger to myself
I am codependent
I am selfish
I am dishonest
I am no longer to be trusted
I am not me anymore

I have no more to offer
I have nothing left to give
I have no joyful soul that you use to know

I can no longer smile
I can no longer laugh
I can no longer entertain you
I can no longer be of any help

I have given up on life
I have given up on people
I have given up on relationships
I have given up on you

There is no longer a reason for me to love or be loved
For I feel you have given up on me
Therefore there isn't a reason for living
Usless youre dying for me

(11-30-04)

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