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The Lawyer’s First Tale: Primitiæ or Third Cousins

I

‘Dearest of boys, please come to-day,
Papa and mama have bid me say,
They hope you’ll dine with us at three;
They will be out till then, you see,
But you will start at once, you know,
And come as fast as you can go.
Next week they hope you’ll come and stay
Some time before you go away.
Dear boy, how pleasant it will be,
Ever your dearest Emily!’
Twelve years of age was I, and she
Fourteen, when thus she wrote to me,
A schoolboy, with an uncle spending
My holidays, then nearly ending.
My uncle lived the mountain o’er,
A rector, and a bachelor;
The vicarage was by the sea,
That was the home of Emily:

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poem by Arthur Hugh Clough from Mari Magno or Tales on Board
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Uncle Dearest

My Guiding Light
Fatherly
Uncle Dearest
My guiding light
Encouraging words
Keeping watchful eye
From distance
Uncle Dearest
Connected not by blood
From motherland
Protecting
Watching my back
Mindful of past experience
An uncle, advisor and friend
In happiness and sorrow
A bond stronger
Acid tongues can't melt away
Talented poet and author
A man of note
Humble and kind

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poem by Persian Khushi
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Please wait

Please wait
‘O’ Moon,
‘O’ Moon uncle,
Plz give us money and medicine for my mother.
She is ill and on the bed.
Our mama (Maternal uncle) ,
Who is very kind and of helping nature is away from us.
Mother says that you are also our CHANDA Mama (Moon uncle)
So plz give us what ever we need.
The little child was praying to the moon
Who was blooming in the sky?
Her mother told him
‘O’ my child
This Moon uncle is also very kind and generous
And has only coolness and brightness.
He is giving all these things not only to us
also all those who are living on this Earth.
So, plz wait to your Mama (Maternal uncle) .
He will sure come and will give us money and medicine.

poem by Vijay Gupta
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Sad Sacking Uncle Daddies

My heart goes out,
To those unknown who carry...
In their minds they can not rid,
The fact...
They are the products,
Of some sad sacking uncle daddies.

And these uncle daddies brag about their kids.
As if supporting them is what they did!
But they don't care a bit.
OR do a disciplining.
All these uncle daddies do,
Is dropp a seed to leave and scoot.

I'd like to shout from rooftops,
But to who would give a hoot?
I'd like to stick my booted foot,
Up a pooter with a couth.

But...

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poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Uncle Lemon's Revenge

Most of the county had not a clue
With Uncle Lemon, just what to do?
This rascal most notorious
Over the sheriff always seemed to be victorious.
Selling the best illegal Prohibtion whiskey,
No matter how risky.
Chicago gangsters in the Great Depression
Had even failed to stop his competing 'liquid profession'.
With World War II raging,
Uncle Lemon's vaunted talents with local ladies grew more engaging.
With most younger men away at war,
Uncle Lemon's middle-aged charms took him too far.
His Saturday night dance hall fights
Reached new heights.
Then, the local draft board
Reached a convenient unanimous accord.
Even though Uncle Lemon was too old,
They would draft him into the army to be controlled.
He would be away till the war ended,
Which the local sheriff thought most splendid!

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poem by Hubert Wilson
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Johnny Everyman [2]

In George uncle P.W. Botha are staying in his house
and at seventeen Johnny is too young to get a car
when his call up instructions indicates Johnny to a camp

and life is really terrible,
Johnny is taught about his holy rifle
and he notices how people really loose their heads

and in Johnny’s life nothing happens by accident
and he is old enough to ride a troop train.
In George uncle P.W. Botha are staying in his house

and however Johnny tries
time ticks off too slowly,
Johnny is taught about his holy rifle

must cross the camp from side to side
and if he doesn’t want to he has to serve a jail sentence of three years.
When his call up instructions indicate Johnny to a camp

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poem by Gert Strydom
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Lines in Defence of the Stage

Good people of high and low degree,
I pray ye all be advised by me,
And don't believe what the clergy doth say,
That by going to the theatre you will be led astray.

No, in the theatre we see vice punished and virtue rewarded,
The villain either hanged or shot, and his career retarded;
Therefore the theatre is useful in every way,
And has no inducement to lead the people astray.

Because therein we see the end of the bad men,
Which must appall the audience - deny it who can
Which will help to retard them from going astray,
While witnessing in a theatre a moral play.

The theatre ought to be encouraged in every respect,
Because example is better than precept,
And is bound to have a greater effect
On the minds of theatre-goers in every respect.

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poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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Robin Hood, A Child.

It was the pleasant season yet,
When the stones at cottage doors
Dry quickly, while the roads are wet,
After the silver showers.

The green leaves they looked greener still,
And the thrush, renewing his tune,
Shook a loud note from his gladsome bill
Into the bright blue noon.

Robin Hood's mother looked out, and said
"It were a shame and a sin
For fear of getting a wet head
To keep such a day within,
Nor welcome up from his sick bed
Your uncle Gamelyn."

And Robin leaped, and thought so too;
And so he has grasped her gown,
And now looking back, they have lost the view

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poem by James Henry Leigh Hunt
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Uncle Jim

'I got no time fer wasters, lad,' sez 'e,
'Give me a man wiv grit,' sez Uncle Jim.
'E bores 'is cute ole eyes right into me,
While I stares 'ard an' gives it back to 'im.
Then orl at once 'e grips me 'and in 'is:
'Some'ow,' 'e sez, 'I likes yer ugly phiz.'

'You got a look,' 'e sez, 'like you could stay;
Altho' yeh mauls King's English when yeh yaps,
An' 'angs flash frills on ev'rythink yeh say.
I ain't no grammarist meself, per'aps,
But langwidge is a 'elp, I owns,' sez Unk,
'When things is goin' crook.' An' 'ere 'e wunk.

'Yeh'll find it tough,' 'e sez, 'to knuckle down.
Good farmin' is a gift—like spoutin' slang.
Yeh'll 'ave to cut the luxuries o' town,
An' chuck the manners of this back-street gang;
Fer country life ain't cigarettes and beer.'
'I'm game,' I sez. Sez Uncle, 'Put it 'ere!'

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poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Chango

Chango!
Chango!
The bear (? )
I come up the river
Like beat man
I come up the river
Like skoke man fly
I come up the river
To kill many people
I come up the river
With laser gun
Dear uncle, dear uncle, dear uncle
Dear uncle, dear uncle
Your son just had intercourse
With baggy breast
Your son just had intercourse
With death debbie
My mommy didnt hold me when I was young
She didnt give me breast
And went insane

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song performed by Devo
Added by Lucian Velea
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