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Close Escape

That was a close escape, have to get a new hobby to relate.
Something less conspicuous, wont take up too much time,
Something less energetic, for what Ive got in mind.
I wont be too persistant cos Im not that way inclined.
See, thats the one for me. look under collins see if shes free.
Sweaty fingers find 5p 4151683
Hello miss collins youll not know me. Im in the undies
Buisness, see? please please can you tell me the size; how
Far from the knee?
Oh dear dear, me luck is running thin.
Ill take another name I might have a win.
What? 2 more points? I hope no one fills it in.
See, thats the one for me. look under dickens cfg.
See if shell speak to me. hands get shakey eyes cant see.
Having trouble find 5p 2171983
Hello miss dickens youll not know me, Im in the undies
Buisness, see?
Feel more relaxed now here we go again.
Hoi! no temporaries Ive heard most take me in.
Oh dear dear me, that is the one it fits.

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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Battle of Culloden

'Twas in the year of 1746, and in April the 14th day,
That Prince Charles Stuart and his army marched on without delay,
And on the 14th of April they encamped on Culloden Moor,
But the army felt hungry, and no food could they procure.

And the calls of hunger could not brook delay,
So they resolved to have food, come what may;
They, poor men, were hungry and in sore distress,
And many of them, as well as officers, slipped off to Inverness.

The Prince gave orders to bring provisions to the field,
Because he knew without food his men would soon yield
To the pangs of hunger, besides make them feel discontent,
So some of them began to search the neighbourhood for refreshment.

And others, from exhaustion, lay down on the ground,
And soon in the arms of Morpheus they were sleeping sound;
While the Prince and some of his officers began to search for food,
And got some bread and whisky, which they thought very good.

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poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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Italian In England, The

That second time they hunted me
From hill to plain, from shore to sea,
And Austria, hounding far and wide
Her blood-hounds thro' the country-side,
Breathed hot and instant on my trace,---
I made six days a hiding-place
Of that dry green old aqueduct
Where I and Charles, when boys, have plucked
The fire-flies from the roof above,
Bright creeping thro' the moss they love:
---How long it seems since Charles was lost!
Six days the soldiers crossed and crossed
The country in my very sight;
And when that peril ceased at night,
The sky broke out in red dismay
With signal fires; well, there I lay
Close covered o'er in my recess,
Up to the neck in ferns and cress,
Thinking on Metternich our friend,
And Charles's miserable end,

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poem by Robert Browning
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The Italian in England

That second time they hunted me
From hill to plain, from shore to sea,
And Austria, hounding far and wide
Her blood-hounds thro' the country-side,
Breathed hot and instant on my trace,--
I made six days a hiding-place
Of that dry green old aqueduct
Where I and Charles, when boys, have plucked
The fire-flies from the roof above,
Bright creeping thro' the moss they love:
--How long it seems since Charles was lost!
Six days the soldiers crossed and crossed
The country in my very sight;
And when that peril ceased at night,
The sky broke out in red dismay
With signal fires; well, there I lay
Close covered o'er in my recess,
Up to the neck in ferns and cress,
Thinking on Metternich our friend,
And Charles's miserable end,

[...] Read more

poem by Robert Browning from Dramatic Romances and Lyrics (1845)
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Imitations of Horace: The First Epistle of the Second Book

Ne Rubeam, Pingui donatus Munere
(Horace, Epistles II.i.267)
While you, great patron of mankind, sustain
The balanc'd world, and open all the main;
Your country, chief, in arms abroad defend,
At home, with morals, arts, and laws amend;
How shall the Muse, from such a monarch steal
An hour, and not defraud the public weal?
Edward and Henry, now the boast of fame,
And virtuous Alfred, a more sacred name,
After a life of gen'rous toils endur'd,
The Gaul subdu'd, or property secur'd,
Ambition humbled, mighty cities storm'd,
Or laws establish'd, and the world reform'd;
Clos'd their long glories with a sigh, to find
Th' unwilling gratitude of base mankind!
All human virtue, to its latest breath
Finds envy never conquer'd, but by death.
The great Alcides, ev'ry labour past,
Had still this monster to subdue at last.

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poem by Alexander Pope
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Orlando Furioso Canto 16

ARGUMENT
Gryphon finds traitorous Origilla nigh
Damascus city, with Martano vile.
Slaughtered the Saracens and Christians lie
By thousands and by thousands heaped this while;
And if the Moor outside of Paris die,
Within the Sarzan so destroys each pile,
Such slaughter deals, that greater ill than this
Never before has been exprest, I wiss.

I
Love's penalties are manifold and dread:
Of which I have endured the greater part,
And, to my cost, in these so well am read,
That I can speak of them as 'twere my art.
Hence if I say, or if I ever said,
(Did speech or living page my thoughts impart)
'One ill is grievous and another light.'
Yield me belief, and deem my judgment right.

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poem by Ludovico Ariosto
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True, But Little Known Facts

True, but little known facts

Our eyes are always the same size from birth
But our nose and our ears ne’er stop growing
Some facts to know, have very great worth
And others are not worth knowing

“The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”
is another one you might not know yet
This saying might leave you a bit agog
Since it uses every letter of the alphabet

Babies are born without kneecaps
They go through a most curious stage
Where those patellas don’t start to show up
Until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age

If you’re an average American
Who endures Americas traffic-caused strife
The time that’s spent waiting at red lights

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poem by David Whalen
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Cromwell

They took dead Cromwell from his grave,
And stuck his head on high;
The Merry Monarch and his men,
They laughed as they passed by
The common people cheered and jeered,
To England’s deep disgrace—
The crowds who’d ne’er have dared to look
Live Cromwell in the face.

He came in England’s direst need
With law and fire and sword,
He thrashed her enemies at home
And crushed her foes abroad;
He kept his word by sea and land,
His parliament he schooled,
He made the nations understand
A Man in England ruled!

Van Tromp, with twice the English ships,
And flushed by victory—

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poem by Henry Lawson
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So I told Robert from the start that if we couldn't get Charles and Max to take part, but especially Charles, that I didn't want to make the film. So would he call his mother and talk to Charles and see if Charles would at all be interested.

quote by Terry Zwigoff
Added by Lucian Velea
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Charles Akalaonu

Wher are you Charles Akalaonu?
Where are you to read my muse?
I have beeen searching everywhere to find you;
Charles Akalaonu where are you?
I hope to find you one day,
I hope to meet you one day,
I hope to see you one day
Maybe one day you will read this poem.

Where are you Charles Akalaonu?
Maybe one day your children will read this poem;
Charles Akalaonu where are you?
Maybe one day your siblings will read this poem;
Say hello to your wife and children,
Great the entire members of your family as well;
Maybe one day you will read this poem.

poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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