Quotes about heck, page 2
Sick Of It
These romantic songs,
Feels like I am wearing a thong,
Uncomfortable, wrong
I don’t feel so strong,
With all the talk about emotions,
All I see are these motions,
All this love,
Well put it at your ass entrance and shove,
I am sick of it,
This is all a piece of shat,
I need to grow up,
And you need to shut the heck up!
Go find someone else who cares,
I can even pay you the fair,
For the taxi to get you the heck out of here,
I am sick of the tears.
poem by Samatha Squiers
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Daylight savings time (an urban myth?)
Daylight savings time
Daylight savings time has been with us
For many and many years now
It’s time that someone has told us
About the where, the why and about the how
Where the heck do they put it?
Once they’ve saved all this light
And how in the heck do they move it about?
Do they move the light in the dark of the night?
Do they move it in light pickups?
Which would seem most apropos
Or does it require heavy trucks?
Because a lot of light is heavy, you spose’?
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poem by David Whalen
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Play My Heart Out
My jaw is rattled
Head spinning dizzy.
Flat on my back,
staring at nowhere.
Blood pulsing in,
Swirling round then out
Biceps busted
Heels rubbed and scrubbed.
Busted lip is just the tip.
Ribs feel like they're in bits
Shame this game.
Giving all for nothing at all;
Tis days till I'll be ok.
Shame you's who don't show up.
Damn all those coughs and hacks.
Yeah. I did some today.
One too many was done.
But heck, next week i'll be back
Play my heart out again.
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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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The Three Bares
Ma tried to wash her garden slacks but couldn't get 'em clean
And so she thought she'd soak 'em in a bucket o' benzine.
It worked all right. She wrung 'em out then wondered what she'd do
With all that bucket load of high explosive residue.
She knew that it was dangerous to scatter it around,
For Grandpa liked to throw his lighted matches on the ground.
Somehow she didn't dare to pour it down the kitchen sink,
And what the heck to do with it, poor Ma jest couldn't think.
Then Nature seemed to give the clue, as down the garden lot
She spied the edifice that graced a solitary spot,
Their Palace of Necessity, the family joy and pride,
Enshrined in morning-glory vine, with graded seats inside;
Jest like that cabin Goldylocks found occupied by three,
But in this case B-E-A-R was spelt B-A-R-E----
A tiny seat for Baby Bare, a medium for Ma,
A full-sized section sacred to the Bare of Grandpapa.
Well, Ma was mighty glad to get that worry off her mind,
And hefting up the bucket so combustibly inclined,
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poem by Robert William Service
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Kathleen
It was the steamer Alice May that sailed the Yukon foam.
And touched in every river camp from Dawson down to Nome.
It was her builder, owner, pilot, Captain Silas Geer,
Who took her through the angry ice, the last boat of the year;
Who patched her cracks with gunny sacks and wound her pipes with wire,
And cut the spruce upon the banks to feed her boiler fire;
Who headed her into the stream and bucked its mighty flow,
And nosed her up the little creeks where no one else would go;
Who bragged she had so small a draft, if dew were on the grass,
With gallant heart and half a start his little boat would pass.
Aye, ships might come and ships might go, but steady every year
The Alice May would chug away with Skipper Silas Geer.
Now though Cap geer had ne'er a fear the devil he could bilk,
He owned a gastric ulcer and his grub was mostly milk.
He also owned a Jersey cow to furnish him the same,
So soft and sleek and mild and meek, and Kathleen was her name.
And so his source of nourishment he got to love her so
That everywhere the captain went the cow would also go;
And though his sleeping quarters were ridiculously small,
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poem by Robert William Service
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Lost In Wal-Mart
So... I was in one of those Wal-mart Super Stores
Just the other day
When in the middle of the hallway
I felt someone grab my fingers tight
I looked and there she was... a little child holding
With all her might
I saw her eyes big and brown
Somehow she pulled me to the ground
Now..what was a man...big as me suppose to do
So... I said... child... Can I help you..?
As she looked at me with big brown eyes
Her beauty and sadness... almost caused a great flood
And with her voice ready to cry
She ask... If'n...I'd seen her mommy?
Now has anybody ever had their heart fallout of their soul...?
Mine did... And I couldn't help but notice
Her knees.. Shaking... Like she was at the North Pole.
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poem by Clyde Bryson
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Twentieth Century
Oh, the Twentieth Century wasn't all that bad
It was a time like no one else has ever had
We learned to drive, we learned to fly
We sent a man into the sky
When he walked on the moon, we were so glad
Yeah, the Twentieth Century wasn't all that bad
Yeah, the Twentieth Century was quite a ride
We had to learn to see the other side
We had demonstrations and liberations
Great depressions and good vibrations
And doors that once were closed were opened wide
Oh, the Twentieth Century was quite a ride
We had movin' pictures and radio
And Broadway, country, rock and roll
In 1900, who'd a bet we'd all be surfing on the internet
Yeah, the Twentieth Century was a heck of a show
We all had our fifteen minutes, don't you know
Assembly lines, celebrities,
the spotlight shined on you and me
And everybody got a standin' O
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song performed by Alabama
Added by Lucian Velea
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Sweet Music Man
Sing a song sweet music man
cause I wont be there to hold your hand like I used to
Im through with you
Youre a heck of a singer and powerful man
But you surround yourself with people
Who demand so little of you
You touched my soul with your beautiful song
You even had me singin along right with you
You said I need you
Then you changed the words and added harmony
Then you sang the song you had written for me to someone new
Oh, but nobody sings a love song quite like you do
Oh, and nobody else can make me sing along
Nobody else can make me feel things are right
When I know theyre wrong
Nobody sings a love song quite like you
Sing your song sweet music man
Travel the world with a six piece band
That does for you what you tell em to
And you try to stay young but the songs are sung
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song performed by Dolly Parton
Added by Lucian Velea
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Letter To The Penthouse Forum
Dear penthouse,
I never did believe anything I ever read in your magazine until just the other night.
When something happen to me that was so strange that I felt compelled to share it with your readers.
Im a student at state-u.
Maybe Im getting ahead of myself. it was one year ago tonight that my room mate stupendous dork and I were sittin around the dorm poppin a few frostys and burning some rope, and boning up for the speech therapy midterm exam the next day, by reading back issues of your magazine out loud to each other.
I looked at stu and he looked at me and we both knew neither of us was going to get a real good grade on that exam anyway. we hopped out of the dorm and went across the street to herbies tumble inn.
Right across from the dorm there, we came through the swinging doors and I couldnt believe my eyes, there they were, sitting at the bar, these two luscious babes, and they were siamese twins
I looked at stu and he looked at me and we looked at them and they looked at us and then one of the twins said wont you join us? and I just laughed and we went and sat down at the bar.
Turns out, one if the ladies was a speech therapy major and her sister said she had some rope in her purse there, and a big light bulb went off in my head and I said what the heck, why dont we all go back to the dorm?
Came out of the swingin doors at herbies and couldnt get across the street.
There was these 30 bikers with jackets that said harley aristocrats on the back. there was an aerobic dance class and there was the commanding officer of the campus rotc pushing a nautilus machine right down the double yellow line. I said what the heck, why dont we all go back to the dorm?
The last thing I remember is one of the twins screaming, hey general put your big heat seeking missile in my love silo!
I got my degree in spite of failing speech therapy that quarter. last night for the first time in a year, my room mate stupendous dork went back to herbies to toast our commencement. came thru the swingin doors and there they were at the bar, the same two siamese twins and I said oh no and I went and sat down a table.
The twins came over to the table and the one that was a speech therapy major looked my right in the eye and said: excuse me you probably dont remember us.
Name and address withheld by request.
song performed by John Prine
Added by Lucian Velea
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Rode to a Knight Impale - after John Keats - Ode to a Nightingale
. :) kindly refer to notes. :)
My part aches and a rousing stiffness pains
my whole as though viagra I had drank,
or loosened up some pheronomic chains
split seconds past, endorphined, anticipating prank.
'Tis not through envy that I ask a lot,
but seeking through your image happiness,
love-lipped epitome of all that please
amused muse stays aware that what you've got
conjurs wet dreams, streams’ ready eddies numberless,
straw hollow swallows spring in full-throated ease.
O, for a draught of vintage! that hath been
fat vat prime time cocked, erect in deep pelvic berth,
tasting of horny fauna’s jelly beans,
dancing tandem to tambourine song since sunny birth!
O for a beaker full of the warm south,
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poem by Jonathan Robin
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