The Fable of 'Belling the Cat', Modern Version
The Business Man having been
deceived many times before,
and knowing full well the ways
of professionals stepping
outside their area of expertise
to take a megaphone
to shout their views,
scoffed at the Doctor,
and said, 'We all know that
you haven't a clue
as to where the cat is,
or what good nutrition
is for that matter.
I will bell the cat.
All it takes is a bit of
imaginative selling,
and I can attract any kind
and number of animals.
Promotion is what it's about,
nutrition or otherwise.
You sell the sizzle
before you sell the steak, '
and with that he began to call loudly,
'here, kitty, here, kitty.'
And almost at once,
'Got him! '
(But of course, he didn't.) 'I know you don't have the cat,
for I am holding him in my lap, '
said the Very Important News Person.
'You know nothing about cats,
publicity, nutrition or
anything else going on in this world.
Without me to interpret,
and bring it to everyone's attention,
nothing would get done.
It falls on my shoulders
to explain good nutrition so
teachers and parents will understand
what's good for them (and the children) .
I have read summaries
of all the important new science
that has to do with health,
welfare, education, government, personal surveys
(I could go on and on,
and shall if you all will just
shut up and listen.) '
She made a purring sound,
much like a cat would make,
and exclaimed, 'I have the cat'.
(But of course, she didn't.) Which brings us to the Governmental Agency Executive
who served on these committees
so that he could use
the very generous vacation and sick leave
allocated to one who worked for the Government.
He said, 'It is clear to me
that without regulations,
the cat will go free
and possibly be harmed,
I know how to handle these issues.
Didn't I give you the revised food pyramid
that stood conventional wisdom on its ear,
although I admit, it is a bit difficult
to understand how slices of a pyramid standing on end,
creates a very substantial structure.
And didn't I give you revised grades for beef
which made the lower quality beef more desirable,
(and just by changing the names!)
And didn't I make you all feel better
when I announced that 'mad-cow-disease'
was nothing to worry about.
And, didn't I define what 'natural foods' are,
and, working with the Food and Drug Administration
and the Communicable Disease Center,
didn't I solve the problems of disease management.
Trust me, I will show you where the cat is
and I know how to capture him
and save him from the hostile environment
he finds himself in.'
And with that,
he reached over
and plugged in the extension cord,
which he had pulled from the wall
when he tripped over it.