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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Fable of 'Belling the Cat', Modern Version</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">Five judges at a cat show<br>were in a conference room <br>when the lights went out. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">The cat being judged <br>was coal black and <br>only could be seen <br>when it opened its eyes, <br>and of course the cat was asleep.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">While waiting for the lights to come on, <br>the conversation turned to nutrition <br>and as most cat show judges <br>must have another occupation, <br>it turned out that each <br>considered himself and herself <br>an authority on diet for humans. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">Such it was that the cat and nutrition<br>became the subject of discussion <br>because nutrition is not unlike <br>a black cat in a dark room. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">The judges were sure <br>that the cat must be found and caught <br>before someone opened the door, <br>and it escaped.<br>If only it had a bell attached to its collar, <br>How much easier it would be.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">The first judge, <br>a Health Food Faddist, said, <br>'I see it. <br>Having particularly acute eyesight <br>because of my diet <br>of carrots and carrot juice, <br>I will tell you where the cat is<br>and someone can easily <br>catch and hold it. <br>There by the table end is the cat.' <br>Alas, because no one else could see, <br>the first one to attempt to catch the cat, <br>tripped over a chair and <br>the cat raced about the room and <br>Found a new place to hide. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">'It's just like you all <br>to dismiss the value of natural foods, <br>see what it has gained you.' <br>With that the Food Faddist <br>sat brooding at the table, <br>contemplating her new diet book.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">'But wait.' Said the Medical Doctor. <br> 'None of you has a clue <br>on how to catch a cat. <br>I spent long hours in Medical School<br> after taking my pre-med degree in sociology. <br>I understand the way the body functions. <br>Food is just so much <br>coal to stoke the furnace, <br>and I know what you should eat.'</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"> 'Humbug.' said the Food Faddist, <br>'You took not one course in nutrition! '<br>'True, ' said the Doctor, <br>'But with my great Aristotlean knowledge, <br>I can tell you much about the cat.<br>I having studied the muscle structure <br>of such as this black cat possesses, <br>and can tell you exactly how to catch him. <br>You must grasp him behind the head, <br>by the scruff of the neck <br>just as his mother carried him.' </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"> 'If you can't see him, <br>how are you to catch him? ' <br>Asked the Business Man <br>who represented a major food manufacturer. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">'Why with my stethoscope, <br> I can hear his heart beat <br>and lung function; <br>I will locate him and then catch him.' <br>Moments later, <br>'I have him' <br>(But of course, he didn't.) </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">The Business Man having been <br>deceived many times before, <br>and knowing full well the ways <br>of professionals stepping <br>outside their area of expertise <br>to take a megaphone <br>to shout their views, <br>scoffed at the Doctor, <br>and said, 'We all know that <br>you haven't a clue <br>as to where the cat is, <br>or what good nutrition <br>is for that matter. <br>I will bell the cat. <br>All it takes is a bit of <br>imaginative selling, <br>and I can attract any kind <br>and number of animals. <br>Promotion is what it's about, <br>nutrition or otherwise. <br>You sell the sizzle <br>before you sell the steak, ' <br>and with that he began to call loudly, <br>'here, kitty, here, kitty.' <br>And almost at once, <br> 'Got him! ' <br>(But of course, he didn't.) </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">'I know you don't have the cat, <br>for I am holding him in my lap, ' <br>said the Very Important News Person. <br> 'You know nothing about cats, <br>publicity, nutrition or <br>anything else going on in this world. <br>Without me to interpret, <br>and bring it to everyone's attention, <br>nothing would get done. <br>It falls on my shoulders <br>to explain good nutrition so <br>teachers and parents will understand <br>what's good for them (and the children) . <br>I have read summaries <br>of all the important new science <br>that has to do with health, <br>welfare, education, government, personal surveys <br>(I could go on and on, <br>and shall if you all will just <br>shut up and listen.) ' <br>She made a purring sound, <br>much like a cat would make, <br>and exclaimed, 'I have the cat'. <br>(But of course, she didn't.) </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">Which brings us to the Governmental Agency Executive <br>who served on these committees <br>so that he could use<br>the very generous vacation and sick leave <br>allocated to one who worked for the Government. <br>He said, 'It is clear to me <br>that without regulations, <br> the cat will go free <br>and possibly be harmed, <br>I know how to handle these issues. <br>Didn't I give you the revised food pyramid <br>that stood conventional wisdom on its ear, <br>although I admit, it is a bit difficult <br>to understand how slices of a pyramid standing on end, <br>creates a very substantial structure. <br>And didn't I give you revised grades for beef <br>which made the lower quality beef more desirable, <br>(and just by changing the names!) <br>And didn't I make you all feel better <br>when I announced that 'mad-cow-disease' <br>was nothing to worry about. <br>And, didn't I define what 'natural foods' are, <br>and, working with the Food and Drug Administration <br>and the Communicable Disease Center, <br> didn't I solve the problems of disease management. <br>Trust me, I will show you where the cat is <br>and I know how to capture him <br>and save him from the hostile environment <br>he finds himself in.' <br>And with that, <br>he reached over <br>and plugged in the extension cord, <br>which he had pulled from the wall <br>when he tripped over it.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">But the projector's lamp did not light. <br>For you see, <br>he tripped over the cord <br>after the lights went out.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">At about this time, <br>the building janitor <br>hearing shouting coming <br>from the conference room, <br>opened the door and <br>asked why the 'judges' <br>were sitting in the dark. </a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">'Shut the door! ' <br>They all cried. <br>Which he did.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">And to this day, <br>the five nutrition experts <br>are in the darkened room. <br>Having starved together. <br> <br>But how about the cat, you ask. <br>Not to worry, <br>he escaped out the door <br>when the janitor opened it.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><a href="http://www.citatepedia.com/comments.php?id=576169" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none">And without a bell, I might add.</a></div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><a href="http://poems.citatepedia.com/">poem</a> by <strong><a rel="author" href="http://authors.citatepedia.com/by.php?a=Sidi+J.+Mahtrow">Sidi J. Mahtrow</a></strong></div>