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I've Died My Thousandths Death Today

I've died my thousandths death today
and the reasons still unknown
blank expression on my face
the feelings go unshown

this courage is a killer
that i cant seem to find
no reason for death
but courage grabs me from behind

he only kills my insides
he leaves me to suffer
in so much pain
I dont care if I go under

I'm not afraid of death
I've seen him so many times
So I'll happily accept
when the time is mine

sometimes i don't like waking up
cause i have to look in the mirror
at the man with a disease
that cannot find the cure

alive for 21 years
but hasn't lived a day
knock back 21 shots
till the problem seems ok

I was born dead
thats probably how I'll die
I should get use to the fact
that I'll always be that guy

Im like a ghost
no matter what I'll stay
walking amongst the living
but I've died my thousandths death today

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