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Insisting On A Relationship That Was Never There...

in the first place i know
it was never there
never for once
but i am testing it today with
a conversation something nonsense really
like: what will do you for your
birthday tomorrow? and the answer
was, there is never any preparation
and if ever there is
it will be only for vampires and i still insist
that for the sake of said party
i can be a vampire too
but he quits
the nonsensical and gets out to the blue
i am left
with the full realization

get lost! i can manage talking to myself
alone
i can manage this void
fill it with words
that never rhyme
but just the same
this serves the purpose
something that relies upon itself
very existential
my friend once says
but he is dead
he smashed his car at the wall of the university
he smashed his head at the stirring wheel
and the rest
is regretful and here i am again
very existential
stony, scaled, rough, and
insistent for any talk
though no one wants to listen
but i am strong now
i can be myself
without anybody else
so what? get lost! i finally said
in the last
episode.

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