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Lord Robert's Triumphal Entry into Pretoria

'Twas in the year of 1900, and on the 5th of June,
Lord Roberts entered Pretoria in the afternoon;
His triumphal entry was magnificent to see,
The British Army marching behind him fearlessly.

With their beautiful banners unfurled to the breeze,
But the scene didn't the Boers please;
And they immediately made some show of fight,
But at the charge of the bayonet they were put to flight.

The troops, by the people, were received with loud cheers,
While many of them through joy shed joyous tears;
Because Lord Roberts from bondage had set them free,
Which made them dance and sing with glee.

Lord Roberts' march into Pretoria was inspiring to see,
It is reckoned one of the greatest achievements in our military history;
Because the Boers were watching him in front and behind,
But he scattered them like chaff before the wind.

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poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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General Roberts in Afghanistan

'Twas in the year of 1878, and. the winter had set in,
Lord Roberts and the British Army their march did begin,
On their way to Afghanistan to a place called Cabul;
And the weather was bitter cold and the rivers swollen and full.

And the enemy were posted high up amongst the hills,
And when they saw the British, with fear their blood thrills;
The savages were camped on the hillsides in war array,
And occupying a strong position which before the British lay.

And viewed from the front their position was impregnable,
But Lord Roberts was a general of great skill;
Therefore to surprise the enemy he thought it was right,
To march upon the enemy in the dead of night.

Then the men were mustered without delay,
And each man of them was eager for the fray;
And in the silent darkness they felt no dismay,
And to attack the enemy they marched boldly away.

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poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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How Does It Feel To Be Alone?

How does it feel to be alone
with no one round with whom you can
hang out, e-mail and telephone
now silent from your loverman?

How does it feel to get no kicks
from your beloved? Who is left,
for you to mix with, will you nix
your lovelife, loverman bereft?

Stone cold and lonely, lady, will
you roll, or will you gather moss?
On empty running, will you fill
your life again, make up your loss?

I knew that you were bound to fall
when first you fell for me. D’you feel
there’s someone else now you can call
and hope that you can make a deal?

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poem by Gershon Hepner
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Splitting Infinitives

Chief Justice Roberts hates to split
infinitives, and boldly goes
towards the future without wit,
his path as prim as that prim rose
that once Polonius boldly took,
advising Hamlet not to dally.
The Constitution almost shook
when he refused to shilly-shally,
and tried to wander in a way
that was unfaithful to the text
the oath of office. The next day
the problem was resolved, and now,
Queen’s English and our own unregal
language must agree that splitting
of infinitives is legal,
although pedantically unfitting,
since we’ve a President who swore
appropriately, and a Justice
who like Polonius is a bore
and clearly just as dry as dust is.

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poem by Gershon Hepner
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Bob Roberts Society Band

[transcribed by linda h]
Bob roberts society band
By: jimmy buffett
1996
Well, youve heard about the alligators sleepin in the shade
Youve heard heard about the sugar barons screwin up the glades,
Its a melting pot existance
That is hard to contemplate
And a never ending battle in the sunshine state.
But far, far away from the front page news,
Far, far away from the headline blues,
Down a secondary road that severely shows its age
The forties comes to life on a make-shift stage.
Its the bob roberts society band.
Playing every sunday at the orange grove stand.
They dont play grunge and they dont play loud.
Its the magic of the music that still draws a crowd.
Well, the word goes out
From melbourne to the keys.
The faithful get the message

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song performed by Jimmy Buffett
Added by Lucian Velea
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Jake Roberts has a hard enough time being Jake Roberts. The truth is a brutal thing, I just hope that the kids take the time to learn about each of the wrestlers in the game, and if the kids can learn from our mistakes, that would make me a happy man.

quote by Jake Roberts
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A Do-Over Again?

I wrote awhile back about the Michigan and Florida Democratic Do-Over,
Because they violated the Democratic Party’s rules,
Now Barack Obama is the 44th President as of January 20th was that for sure?
In the hustle and bustle amongst all the bling and jewels,
There was a snafu,
At noon, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts who hadn’t clue,
What he was about to say,
Justice Roberts managed to mumble a few pseudo-dyslexic statements,
For President-Elect Obama to repeat, with some surprise,
After all was the Chief Justice caught up in the moments?
This slice of American History;
This Chief Justice will make history for centuries after his demise.

What a glorious event,2 million people attended, without one fracas of the law,
What moments that practically the whole world watched,
Glued to their TV’s, radios, I-Pods, and Computers,
Could have not believed what they saw,
A non-white man was going be the President of the United States of America?

But back to the swearing ceremony; the Chief Justice,

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poem by Joe Rosochacki
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It's now up to the full Senate to move swiftly to confirm John Roberts so he can assume his duties and responsibilities as chief justice when the Supreme Court begins its new term in a matter of weeks. We call on the Senate to confirm John Roberts without delay.

quote by Jay Alan Sekulow
Added by Lucian Velea
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Just Too Grand

I suppose if I wanted,
I could be a prude and standoffish.
With a résumé to prove,
In my life I've accomplished...
What few can and could do.
If...
I chose to put my nose up in the air.
And carried on with that kind of flair.

My mother's father,
Had been a leader of his own band.
Appearing here and there and across the land.
And for some reason then,
I couldn't 'stand' him.
He was just too grand!
And those feelings were mutual.
I just was not impressed.

Today?
I can understand why he was that way.

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poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A Hero Laid to Rest

A Hero Laid to Rest
By: Venice Roberts
A hero born one summer day,
A Son, a Brother, in a special way,
Being Strong, Tough, and Brave,
Millions of lives he's willing to save,

They bombed the U.S. of A
On that one September day,
He rose and boarded that plane,
In that place they call Ft. Wayne,

Stationed in Kuwait,
A long way from that Hoosier state,
A few brave men,
Ready to go into battle over and over again,

In vehicles loaded with steel,
The man at the steering wheel,
Did not see the bomb on the side of the road,

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poem by Venice Roberts
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