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Peanut Butter Conspiracy

By: jimmy buffett
1973
Lookin back at my hard luck days
I really do have to laugh
Workin in a dive for twenty six dollars
Spendin it all on grass
We were hungry hard-luck heroes
Tryin just to stay alive
Wed go down to the corner grocery
This is how wed survive
Chorus:
Whos gonna steal the peanut butter
Ill get the can of sardines
Runnin up and down the aisle of the mini mart
Stickin food in our jeans
We never took more than we could eat
There was plenty left on the rack
We all swore if we ever got rich
We would pay the mini mart back
Yes sir! yes sir!

[...] Read more

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Was Kermit a Vegen?

Chasity Erbaugh has had a sight to be seen.
She had purchased frozen green beans at the Wal-Mart in Tyler, Texas.
A Great Value Brand, by name, but appeared to be a Surely Shock Brand,
When she brought it home.
After microwaving the frozen green beans to feed her children,
She noticed peculiar that didn’t look like bean,
Chasity came across a legless frog that was green.
Catfish and frog legs are very popular in local restaurants around here,
And China too!
Maybe the green beans and the processing of frog legs were at the same location?
Anyway, was this frog related to Kermit? Was he a vegen?
Chasity brought this up to the management of her local Wal-Mart,
They, in turn, delightfully handed a $1.00 coupon off her next bag of frozen green beans.
How thoughtful is that?
How so disgusting?
So Wal-Mart,
The company is thinking about getting into the marriage wedding and reception business,
After which, the couple will have kids to be poisoned by the lead content in toys,
Manufactured in China,
Most likely the couple will have pet dog, which can poisoned by the dog food,

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Friday morning five o' clock

Lost my job
Recently when my company
Took right sizing measures
To meet the global economic challenge

I am a carpenter
By profession
And all these years
I have been shaping
And sizing woods
To meet the requirements
Of company furniture

A good number of
My colleagues
Were relieved of
Company’s services
With three months’ salary
And it took care of
My family comprising

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Reed Call For April

When April comes, and pelts with buds
And apple-blooms each orchard space,
And takes the dog-wood-whitened woods
With rain and sunshine of her moods,
Like your fair face, like your fair face:
It's honey for the bloom and dew,
And honey for the heart!
And, oh, to be away with you
Beyond the town and mart.

II.

When April comes, and tints the hills
With gold and beryl that rejoice,
And from her airy apron spills
The laughter of the winds and rills,
Like your young voice, like your young voice:
It's gladness for God's bending blue,
And gladness for the heart!
And, oh, to be away with you

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April Ate

April 2012 is National Poetry MOnth
April Ate
Late for my own Funeral twice denied my citezen rights becoming blind online the power cord they sold me at wal mart is not the right kind for my machine is in need of a screen refused service and gouged hard a P C Outlet is a joke they must have seen me coming over worked and trying despiritdly to type between the cracks of Jesus on my broken LED screen it is almost hopeless unless eye get the right cord or a refund from Wal Mart nothing can be done quickly eye must ride like the wind to be free again the song video at least keeps playing in my mind as April Ate my time. The chord is made for a home computor a tower plugs in the monitor they simply got it wrong. Meanwhile there is a movie at the Bijou Eastern Theatre called the Western SKy is King it is in the Southern Hemisphere of the Northern Lighting is very dim. The Easter Holiday will not prevent me from most things that need to be procrasstinated then putt off the buss then the wal mart then back to the Alamo eye wish to see the pawn shop offerings and then prehaps the Movie iff its not raining in the Ampitheater Saint Anthony must be willing now to help me all these schedulings on a Holiday notwithstanding as eye vainly pen this ode to predestination people who help me only take from the things they need they seek the power and the edifice it all belongs in the pockets of the thieves there is only a few people who actually help me for me to have these things are mine to them it is still fine they fleece the innocent and dine my macho friend is two macho for eye think someday to get him in trouble he will be too macho to someone who is not the dog the little puppy is what he has called me for not fighting at the dropp of a hat it is not something to be enjoyed as they must think to wish to fight all the time yet he shows me only talking no bruises eye think he must think eye am not very macho in his eye think it fits my theme to be the little puppy dog is to be tied to all the living and it is better to be alive then dead a hero on Good FrYday dont you see it April Ate

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Everythings Changed

(richie mcdonald/paul nelson/larry boone)
Funny you should show up after all of these years
Yeah things sure have changed around here
Seen a lot of strangers since they put that interstate through
No this aint the same town that we once knew
They put up a plant where we used to park
That ol drive-ins a new wal-mart
The caf? is closed where our names were carved on that corner booth
Yeah, everythings changed except for the way I feel about you
That westbound to santa fe dont stop here anymore
You were one of the last to get on board
That street that we grew up on you wouldnt recognize
Girl nothings been the same since you said good-bye
They put up a plant where we used to park
That ol drive-ins a new wal-mart
The caf? is closed where our names were carved on that corner booth
Yeah, everythings changed except for the way I feel about you
They put up a plant where we used to park
That ol drive-ins a new wal-mart
The caf? is closed where our names were carved on that corner booth

[...] Read more

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The Old-Home Folks

Such was the Child-World of the long-ago--
The little world these children used to know:--
Johnty, the oldest, and the best, perhaps,
Of the five happy little Hoosier chaps
Inhabiting this wee world all their own.--
Johnty, the leader, with his native tone
Of grave command--a general on parade
Whose each punctilious order was obeyed
By his proud followers.

But Johnty yet--
After all serious duties--could forget
The gravity of life to the extent,
At times, of kindling much astonishment
About him: With a quick, observant eye,
And mind and memory, he could supply
The tamest incident with liveliest mirth;
And at the most unlooked-for times on earth
Was wont to break into some travesty
On those around him--feats of mimicry

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Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make.

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My Hobby

I awoke early one morning, and to get a head start
I went directly to the neighborhood Hobby Mart,
I really enjoy going there, for I get to explore alot as,
I put some really interesting items in my little red cart
I have now chosed so many items,
I am usure where I am to start
Now one of my biggest decision, is to hobby or not
My hobby is an activity,
which is suppose to be,
simply recreational for me, while I unfold and just be free
Yet, when strolling in the mart, pushing that cute little cart
If that simple thought isnt clearly remembered
What I seem to enjoy alot, may somehow simply be forgot.

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A Liz Town Humorist

Settin' round the stove, last night,
Down at Wess's store, was me
And Mart Strimples, Tunk, and White,
And Doc Bills, and two er three
Fellers o' the Mudsock tribe
No use tryin' to describe!
And says Doc, he says, says he--,
'Talkin' 'bout good things to eat,
Ripe mushmillon's hard to beat!'

I chawed on. And Mart he 'lowed
Wortermillon beat the mush--.
'Red,' he says, 'and juicy-- Hush--!
I'll jes' leave it to the crowd!'
Then a Mudsock chap, says he--,
'Punkin's good enough fer me--
Punkin pies, I mean,' he says--,
Them beats millons--! What say, Wess?

I chawed on. And Wess says--, 'Well,

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