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Joseph’s Dreams and Reuben's Brethren [A Recital in Six Chapters]

CHAPTER I

I cannot blame old Israel yet,
For I am not a sage—
I shall not know until I get
The son of my old age.
The mysteries of this Vale of Tears
We will perchance explain
When we have lived a thousand years
And died and come again.

No doubt old Jacob acted mean
Towards his father’s son;
But other hands were none too clean,
When all is said and done.
There were some things that had to be
In those old days, ’tis true—
But with old Jacob’s history
This tale has nought to do.

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poem by Henry Lawson
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Hey Joe

Hey joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
I said hey dude joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Going down to shoot my old lady
You know, i've caught her messin' around with another man
Yes i did
You know, i've caught her messin' around with another man
Hey joe, i said where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Hey joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Gonna messin' round
Yes i did
You know, i caught her messin' round man, messin' round town now
So i shot her!
I said hey joe, hey joe,
Where you goin' with that gun in your hand,
I said hey joe,
Where you goin' with that gun in your hand
I caught her messin' round, gonna messin' round town with another man yeah
I said hey joe, hey joe
Where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Hey joe, hey joe, where you goin' , haha-haha-haha

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song performed by Lenny Kravitz
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Standing In For Joe

Im standing, standing in for joe
Joe called round to ask me, would I do a favor?
While hes gonna be out of town
He says his girl needs company, she gets so restless
Would I keep her safe and sound?
Softly, softly in the night
Why, you can guess the rest...
Now these shoes fit all too well
Standing in for joe
Standing in for joe
Im standing - in for joe
Joe said weve been friends so long
That I would be the one he would trust with his life
And now those words roll round my brain
As darkness falls, as I turn out his bedroom light
Who could resist her tender charms?
So the story goes...
This actor he plays all the parts
Standing in for joe
Standing in for joe

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song performed by Xtc
Added by Lucian Velea
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Standing In For Joe

Im standing, standing in for joe
Joe called round to ask me, would I do a favor?
While hes gonna be out of town
He says his girl needs company, she gets so restless
Would I keep her safe and sound?
Softly, softly in the night
Why, you can guess the rest...
Now these shoes fit all too well
Standing in for joe
Standing in for joe
Im standing - in for joe
Joe said weve been friends so long
That I would be the one he would trust with his life
And now those words roll round my brain
As darkness falls, as I turn out his bedroom light
Who could resist her tender charms?
So the story goes...
This actor he plays all the parts
Standing in for joe
Standing in for joe

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song performed by Xtc
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Gunner Joe

I'll tell you a seafaring story,
Of a lad who won honour and fame
Wi' Nelson at Battle 'Trafalgar,
Joe Moggeridge, that were his name.

He were one of the crew of the Victory,
His job when a battle begun
Was to take cannon balls out o' basket
And shove 'em down front end o' gun.

One day him and Nelson were boxing,
The compass, like sailor lads do.
When 'Ardy comes up wi' a spyglass,
And pointing, says "'Ere, take a screw!"

They looked to were 'Ardy were pointing,
And saw lots o' ships in a row.
Joe says abrupt like but respectful,
"'Oratio lad, yon's the foe."

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poem by Marriott Edgar
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Bill and Joe

COME, dear old comrade, you and I
Will steal an hour from days gone by,
The shining days when life was new,
And all was bright with morning dew,
The lusty days of long ago,
When you were Bill and I was Joe.

Your name may flaunt a titled trail
Proud as a cockerel's rainbow tail,
And mine as brief appendix wear
As Tam O'Shanter's luckless mare;
To-day, old friend, remember still
That I am Joe and you are Bill.

You've won the great world's envied prize,
And grand you look in people's eyes,
With H O N. and L L. D.
In big brave letters, fair to see,--
Your fist, old fellow! off they go!--
How are you, Bill? How are you, Joe?

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poem by Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Natural Joe

There's a boy out 'luma way named Joe Eugene.
He's one mellow ass son of a bitch-a.
He loves his wheat grass and cold bean curd.
He's one healthy ass sone of a bitch-a.
But late at night he sneaks on down to the liquor store
for a bottle of sheep dip.
Natural Joe,
got an easy flow.
Whereever he goes
they say "here comes Joe."
Joe, he's a happy Man and he won't do you wrong.
He's one respectable son of a bitch-a.
Now Joe ain't no patriarch,
but he's smooth with the girls.
He ain't no cahuvinistic sone of a bitch-a.
But late at night he sneaks on down to the porno store
for a little bit of ...
Nature Joe,
he's hanging low.
Whereever he goes

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song performed by Primus
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Say It Aint So, Joe

Say it aint so, joe, please, say it aint so
Thats not what I wanna hear, joe and I got the right to know
Say it aint so, joe, please, say it aint so
Im sure, theyre telling us lies, joe,
Please, tell us it aint so
They told us that our hero has played his trump card
He doesnt know how to go on
Were clinging to his charms and determined smile
But the good old days have gone
The image and the empire may be falling apart
The money has gotten scarce
One mans word held the country together
But the truth is getting fierce
Say it aint so, joe, please, say it aint so
Weve pinned our hopes on you, joe and theyre ruining our show
Ooh babies, dont you think were gonna get burned
Ooh babies, dont you think were gonna get burned
Were gonna get turned
Were gonna get learned
Were gonna get burned

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song performed by Alphaville
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Walkaway Joe

Mama told her baby,
Girl, take it real slow.
Girl told her mama,
Hey, I really gotta go.
Hes waitin in the car.
Mama said,
Girl, you wont get far.
This is the story of an average jane,
Ninety miles an hour down a lovers lane
On a tank of dreams.
Oh, if she could have only seen.
But fates got plans that it dont wanna show cause. . .
That boys just a walkaway joe,
Born to be a leaver.
Tell you from the word go,
Destined to deceive her.
Hes the wrong kind of paradise.
Shes gonna know it in a matter of time.
That boys just a walkaway joe.
Just a little while into abilene,

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song performed by Don Henley
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The Liberal Constitution

Jack Sprat would eat no fat,
His wife would eat no lean,
And so, betwixt them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean.
Old nursery rhyme

Gentlemen, I'd like to mention, with your very kind attention,
One important point I wish you all to know;
We've a policy extensive and extremely comprehensive -
Me an' Joe.
As a fact, 'tis all-embracing, just to put the matter flat;
Therefore, where's the need to mention that we favor 'this' or 'that'?

Quite unlike the other party, we're so vigorous and hearty,
We can thrive on any diet, high or low.
And, if you decide to follow us, just notice what we swallow
Me an' Joe.
It is hardly worth while mentioning what Joseph can't digest,
And, when he has picked his dishes, I, with ease, absorb the rest.

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poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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