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Crystal Ball

Expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
Expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
Ooh, expert lover, my baby
Ever had a crystal ball?
Expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
As bombs explode around us and hate advances on the right
The only thing that matters, baby, is the love that we make 2night
As little babies in make-up terrorize the western world
The only thing that matters, baby, is love between a boy and girl
Oh, expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
Undercover, no maybe
All 4 fun and fun 4 all
I cant remember my babys voice cuz she aint talkin no more
Only the sound of love and prayer echo from the yellow floor,
Yellow floor
Huh, shes sayin c dear jesus, save us from temptation

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song performed by Prince
Added by Lucian Velea
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An Expert

An expert magician
practices his
magic

An expert card
dealer
deals his cards
carefully

An expert tailor
measures twice
cuts once
sews once
perfection

An expert husband
takes great pride
in his wife.

poem by Heather Burns
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The old one is expert

I bring my sexy buttocks;
Them, boys don’t know to act on.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Turn me around and ride.

I bring my two sexy breasts;
Them, boys don’t know how to handle.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Hold me under and kneed.

I bring my hot rosy lips;
Them, boys don’t know how to lock.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Lift me up close and bruise.

I bring my burning lobes;
Them, boys don’t know how to pound on.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Lay me on bed and tear.

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poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Hold On

I hear the phone, it rings so violently
Cant leave my room, cant breathe since she left me
I will admit, I hate those things I said
Girls always cry, guys will never admit they did
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Dont tell me that its over
Im not used to this temptation
And when you come back running
Theres no use for explanation
I think things are too hard for
Even with my expert knowledge
Most girls get them in trouble
Because they are rarely honest
Whats with the jokes, all the routines they play
Screw with my head, now I cave in till they their way
Guys like to run, chicks like to yell, you see
Guys hate to fight, girls think its therapy
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

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song performed by Blink 182
Added by Lucian Velea
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He Is An Expert (Fun Poem 130)

Someone showed him
how to lay a brick
and overnight he became
an expert bricklayer.
One lesson was all he needed.

One day he helped fix a puncture
on one of his car tyres,
then he went to bed
and when he woke up,
he was an expert motor mechanic.

Everything he does
no matter what it is,
he only has to do it once
and he is an expert
or so he thinks he is.

There are so many experts
it is had to find a real one

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poem by David Harris
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Hopeful Hawkins

Hawkins wasn't in the swim at all in Dingo Flat,
And to bait him was our chiefest form of bliss;
But, in justice, be it said that he had a business head.
(That's why I'm standing here and telling this.)

He was trav'ling for a company, insuring people's lives;
And stayed about a month in Dingo Flat;
But his biz was rather dull, and we took him for a gull,
An amazing simple-minded one at that.

He was mad, he was, on mining and around about the town
Prospected every reef. But worse than that
He'd talk for half a day, in a most annoying way,
On 'The mineral resources of the Flat.'

He swore that somewhere nigh us was a rich gold-bearing red,
If a fellow only had the luck to strike it;
And he only used to laugh when the boys began to chaff,
And seemed, in fact, to rather sort of like it.

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poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Hyperactive

Shes got a date for lunch in Singapore,
Holds stock in I.B.M. and hates Dior.
She puts up her make-up on at 6.00am
She goes to work, gets home then puts it on again
And its a mystery how wild that girl can be;
Shes got so much energy;
Shes such an expert at surprising me.
Shes hyperactive when she starts to dance.
And shes so attracted to a wild romance,
And more effective than a stimulant -
Shes hyperactive.
Shes hyperactive when she starts to dance.
she never missed a beat or missed a chance,
And Im persuaded by her argument.
Shes hyperactive.
The other dancers hypervantilate and start to sweat.
One look at her - I know the nights not over yet.
She says Where are we going now?
Her voice is sweet and soft.
I think she lost the key that turns her motor off.

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song performed by Robert Palmer
Added by Lucian Velea
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Hudibras: Part 1 - Canto III

THE ARGUMENT

The scatter'd rout return and rally,
Surround the place; the Knight does sally,
And is made pris'ner: Then they seize
Th' inchanted fort by storm; release
Crowdero, and put the Squire in's place;
I should have first said Hudibras.

Ah me! what perils do environ
The man that meddles with cold iron!
What plaguy mischiefs and mishaps
Do dog him still with after-claps!
For though dame Fortune seem to smile
And leer upon him for a while,
She'll after shew him, in the nick
Of all his glories, a dog-trick.
This any man may sing or say,
I' th' ditty call'd, What if a Day?
For HUDIBRAS, who thought h' had won

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poem by Samuel Butler
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If an expert says it can't be done, get another expert.

quote by David Ben Gurion
Added by Lucian Velea
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I have spoken to expert audiences occasionally, but then no audience is expert over the whole range of things I want to explore.

quote by David Antin
Added by Lucian Velea
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