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i was a television hosting a cartoon,
on early saturday mornings, to take away your blues,
i was your comedian on those rainy afternoons,
giving you a smile in a soothing room,
you were so young with your painted dreams,
an idealistic boy, you wanted to keep them,
i watched you grow and thought 'perhaps',
you'd be the sower with the perfect hem,

i was a television hosting an empty screen,
'cause you grew older and lost time for me,
i was your comedian without a jokes,
for you to hear under you counseling yoke,
you were so young with your textbooks,
stitching useless knowledge in place of your dreams,
i watched you learn and thought 'someday',
you'd have the time to finish sowing,

i was a television hosting a commercial,
while you slept to regain energy,

[...] Read more

poem by Jordan Crider
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I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.

quote by Louie Anderson
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I'm very, very lucky and I think being a comedian really helps. I think you have a much longer span as a comedian than you do as a dramatic actress because I think there's more competition for a dramatic actress.

quote by Jennifer Coolidge
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
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Erection

Erection

August heat I sent in a comment to an article in the Guardian,
dislike many of their readers, but it is a good paper, even if it
tends to lose its nerves and waffle a bit when the pressure is on.
I look to see if anything is written about lack of erection, not long
ago my member could carry a beach towel, a party trick for one
witness, now it will not even carry a paper napkin. I could write
and ask the woman who is married to a comedian and has a sexual
healing column in the Guardian, only I don`t like her much I think
she’s fraud; and the comedian she married stop being funny after
he dastardly divorced his first wife and married her. When working
class people are successful they tend to marry “up” that is because
they meet lots of new and well spoken people, who flatter them,
but they are wrong they will be sandpapered down lose their strength
to suit the middle class taste; rich they will be, so who cares?

poem by Oskar Hansen
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Ten Euro Note

Ten Euro Note

The old road into town is only used by walkers
now, weird people, who would look out of place
anywhere else and Marian Hyde, who writes
about alternative lifestyles, in the Guardian.

I had found a wallet with a twenty euro note,
photos of a posing nude woman, it belonged to
someone named Carol. I asked around, they all
knew her, a pro who often walked this way.

A handmade and of real leather and on and
impulse I added a ten euro note and wondered
if when I caught up with her she would notice,
or was my motive more self serving?

I met up with Carol at a road side pub gave her
the purse, she opened it counted the money,
said nothing, but she was talking to a footballer

[...] Read more

poem by Oskar Hansen
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The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.

classic quote by Leslie Nielsen
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I don't make much distinction between being a stand-up comic and acting Shakespeare - in fact, unless you're a good comedian, you're never going to be able to play Hamlet properly.

quote by Ian McKellen
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I didn't really want to be a comedian.

quote by Allan Carr
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I was stuck in the benefits of being a known comedian.

quote by Andrea Martin
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