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Quotes about bowel

Goodbye

(Translation To: Adios)

He lays the needle in the vein
and he asks the music to come inside
between his throat and forearm
the melody travels softly in the bones

He has closed his eyes
a battle rages in his blood
an army marches through his bowel
the intestines become warm slowly

Nothing is for you
nothing was for you
nothing remains for you
forever

He takes the needle from the vein
the melody travels out of the skin
violins burn with shrieking

[...] Read more

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The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.

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C’est La vie!

I gaze above from my grassy station
While lying on my back, the cumuli
Traversed the sky in noiseless slow-motion.
Great day! I thought while fixed upon the sky.
Then casually a bird flew overhead
And dropped its cargo off all over me.
In life a little rain must fall, instead
A bird brain passed its bowel of feces.
What does one say after being pooped on?
C’est La vie! What else can happen to me?
I’ve been a target of defecation
If I’d a gun that bombardier be shot.
I’m not that feathered class aves port-a-pot.

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Ambrose Bierce

Justice

Jack Doe met Dick Roe, whose wife he loved,
And said: 'I will get the best of him.'
So pulling a knife from his boot, he shoved
It up to the hilt in the breast of him.

Then he moved that weapon forth and back,
Enlarging the hole he had made with it,
Till the smoking liver fell out, and Jack
Merrily, merrily played with it.

Then he reached within and he seized the slack
Of the lesser bowel, and, traveling
Hither and thither, looked idly back
On that small intestine, raveling.

The wretched Richard, with many a grin
Laid on with exceeding suavity,
Curled up and died, and they ran John in
And charged him with sins of gravity.

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Of the four Humours in Mans Constitution.

The former four now ending their discourse,
Ceasing to vaunt their good, or threat their force.
Lo other four step up, crave leave to show
The native qualityes that from them flow:
But first they wisely shew'd their high descent,
Each eldest daughter to each Element.
Choler was own'd by fire, and Blood by air,
Earth knew her black swarth child, water her fair:
All having made obeysance to each Mother,
Had leave to speak, succeeding one the other:
But 'mongst themselves they were at variance,
Which of the four should have predominance.
Choler first hotly claim'd right by her mother,
Who had precedency of all the other:
But Sanguine did disdain what she requir'd,
Pleading her self was most of all desir'd.
Proud Melancholy more envious then the rest,
The second, third or last could not digest.
She was the silentest of all the four,
Her wisdom spake not much, but thought the more

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Housewife

Some women marry houses.
It's another kind of skin; it has a heart,
a mouth, a liver and bowel movements.
The walls are permanent and pink.
See how she sits on her knees all day,
faithfully washing herself down.
Men enter by force, drawn back like Jonah
into their fleshy mothers.
A woman is her mother.
That's the main thing.

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Hurry Up Please It's Time

What is death, I ask.
What is life, you ask.
I give them both my buttocks,
my two wheels rolling off toward Nirvana.
They are neat as a wallet,
opening and closing on their coins,
the quarters, the nickels,
straight into the crapper.
Why shouldn't I pull down my pants
and moon the executioner
as well as paste raisins on my breasts?
Why shouldn't I pull down my pants
and show my little cunny to Tom
and Albert? They wee-wee funny.
I wee-wee like a squaw.
I have ink but no pen, still
I dream that I can piss in God's eye.
I dream I'm a boy with a zipper.
It's so practical, la de dah.
The trouble with being a woman, Skeezix,

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A Mouse In My Stomach.....[LONG; Human Body; Animals]

Two months ago, in the mail, I got a company's exciting offer.
I could get a host of diagnostic tests, in exchange for a few coins into their coffer.
Soon to my town was coming a great big mobile-medical van,
in which m body could be subjected to sonograms and x-rays, and even a cat scan.

So I called the toll free number immediately; that is really quick.
They made my appointment for last week, and said 'to that time' I had to stick.
Here at last was their chance to find in me cysts, plaque, clots, and tumors.
I'd heard some negative things about the company, but I'm SURE they were just rumors.

The tests all seemed painless, even comfortable, as if there was nothing being done.
A pretty nurse (all the 'patients' were men) served coffee and donuts between each test. It was really sort of fun.

This afternoon, by first class mail, I received my results from their expert doc.
What I read, two pages long (single-spaced0 sent me into shock.

I have a little mouse in my stomach, exhaling between each stomach squeeze,
just sitting there expectantly, waiting for some bits of cheese.
And that's not all!
From head to toes my body is inhabited by various creatures young and old.

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Colonoscopy.....My Second One.....[LONG; Medical; Personal; Humor? ] Humor

Despite all that could've gone 'wrong', the procedure did go well,
And next week Dr. Kao, to me, the lab results will tell.
I left the office wide awake, and, without sedation, feeling fine.
As I walked some blocks to meet my wife, on a banana and muffin I did dine.


I'd suggest pre-op and post-op post cards to keep patients on right track,
Especially for us 'older' patients who, sometimes, perfect memories lack.
The pre-op handout I received could be clearer; ask me if you dare.
The post-op handout was clearer, but I almost forgot I had it, I swear!
The pre-op telephone call to me (ask me about it) Dr. Kao might abhor.
The post-op call was a nice touch, but might not have helped if I'd passed out at home on the floor.


It's been ten days at least and daily aspirin dose (I'd stopped taking) is overdue.......but
My bowel's remembered, pretty well, how to handle the food I under-chew.


Roger reacted well to my idea of hiding fake poop; it was a 'joke'.
I'm glad he didn't laugh convulsively and through my bowel wall poke.

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My Repetitious Future....[LONG; My Life/Personal; Math]

What do I have to look forward to the rest of my fine life?
It depends, to some degree at least, on my dear wife.
If she stays alive and somehow keeps on putting up with me,
I may live twenty more years (ten more than I 'should') . We'll see.

To make the math simple let's say my years left are ten.
So how many times might I repeat things between this day and then?
I mean some of the daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly things I do.
Some are necessary and some I enjoy, but some I don't look forward to.

Sleep: Let's say 10x365x10=36,500 hours, give or take.
That's about two-fifths as many hours as I'll be awake!
How many movie DVDs watched at night from our couch?
That's 5x52x10=2600 movies we'll see. Ouch.

At only two real meals a day, that's still 7300 sittings to dine,
but with an equal number of snacks I think that I'll be fine.
And while Aki slaves to prepare about 3400 dinners
I'll be reading to us aloud from 130 novels of murder, losers, and winners.

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