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Allegany Camp

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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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It's Five O'clock Somewhere

The sun is hot and that old clock is movin' slow,
An' so am I.
Work day passes like molasses in wintertime,
But it's July.
I'm gettin' paid by the hour, an' older by the minute.
My boss just pushed me over the limit.
I'd like to call him somethin',
I think I'll just call it a day.
Pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
Oh, this lunch break is gonna take all afternoon,
An' half the night.
Tomorrow mornin', I know there'll be hell to pay,
Hey, but that's all right.
I ain't had a day off now in over a year.
Our Jamaican vacation's gonna start right here.
if the 'phones for me,
You can tell 'em I just sailed away.

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song performed by Alan Jackson
Added by Lucian Velea
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Hi 'My Name is Alan

Hi, my name is Alan,

Hi My name is karen

Hi, My name is assonance

Don't ask me why?

Sometimes it is condensed to

'ASS'

You know in that unfamiliar interlude

Between just 'in passing ' and being 'rude'

So how do I know Karen and Alan?

Though they don't know each other!

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poem by Yvette Smith
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The Progress Of Wit

DIVERTING in extreme there is a play,
Which oft resumes its fascinating sway;
Delights the sex, or ugly, fair, or sour;
By night or day:--'tis sweet at any hour.
The frolick, ev'ry where is known to fame;
Conjecture if you can, and tells its name.

THIS play's chief charm to husbands is unknown;
'Tis with the lover it excels alone;
No lookers-on, as umpires, are required;
No quarrels rise, though each appears inspired;
All seem delighted with the pleasing game:--
Conjecture if you can, and tell its name.

BE this as 'twill, and called whate'er it may;
No longer trifling with it I shall stay,
But now disclose a method to transmit
(As oft we find) to ninnies sense and wit.
Till Alice got instruction in this school,
She was regarded as a silly fool,

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poem by La Fontaine
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The Revenge Of Hamish

It was three slim does and a ten-tined buck in the bracken lay;
And all of a sudden the sinister smell of a man,
Awaft on a wind-shift, wavered and ran
Down the hill-side and sifted along through the bracken and passed that way.

Then Nan got a-tremble at nostril; she was the daintiest doe;
In the print of her velvet flank on the velvet fern
She reared, and rounded her ears in turn.
Then the buck leapt up, and his head as a king's to a crown did go

Full high in the breeze, and he stood as if Death had the form of a deer;
And the two slim does long lazily stretching arose,
For their day-dream slowlier came to a close,
Till they woke and were still, breath-bound with waiting and wonder and fear.

Then Alan the huntsman sprang over the hillock, the hounds shot by,
The does and the ten-tined buck made a marvellous bound,
The hounds swept after with never a sound,
But Alan loud winded his horn in sign that the quarry was nigh.

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poem by Sidney Lanier
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Hey, Good Lookin'

JIMMY BUFFETT:
Hey, hey, good lookin'
Whatcha got cookin'?
How's about cookin' somethin' up with me?
GEORGE STRAIT:
Hey, hey, sweet baby,
Don't ya think maybe
We can find us a brand-new recipe?
ALAN JACKSON:
I got a hot rod Ford and a 2-dollar bill
And I know a spot right over the hill
CLINT BLACK:
There's soda pop and the dancin's free
So if you wanna have fun, come along with me
KENNY CHESNEY:
Say hey, good lookin'
Whatcha got cookin'?
TOBY KEITH:
How's about cookin' somethin' up with me?
JIMMY BUFFETT:

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song performed by Jimmy Buffett
Added by Lucian Velea
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It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

[Alan:]
The sun is hot and that old clock,
is movin' slow, and so am I.
Work day passes like molasses,
in winter time, but it's July.
Getting paid by the hour,
and older by the minute.
My boss just pushed me,
over the limit.
I could call him something,
think I'll just call it a day...
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane, before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve. But I don't care,
it's five o'clock somewhere.
This lunch break is gonna take
all afternoon, half the night.
Tomorrow morning I know there'll be hell to pay,
but, hey, that's all right.
I ain't had a day off now, in over a year.

[...] Read more

song performed by Jimmy Buffett
Added by Lucian Velea
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I'd rather be David Ladd's father than Alan Ladd any day.

quote by Alan Ladd
Added by Lucian Velea
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I did a Broadway show with Alan Alda and how much money can Alan Alda have.

quote by Alice Barrett
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I'd be interested to read Gull's paper on it, and I wish Alan would put it in somewhere. It gives him a relevance to our times, which he doesn't otherwise have. Gull, I mean, not Alan.

quote by Eddie Campbell
Added by Lucian Velea
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