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Dear Abby

Dear abby, dear abby ...
My feet are too long
My hairs falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that Ive no friends at all
Wont you write me a letter, wont you give me a call
Signed bewildered
Bewildered, bewildered...
Chorus:
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you aint what you aint
So listen up buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Dear abby, dear abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it werent so expensive Id wish I were dead
Signed unhappy
Unhappy, unhappy...
Repeat chorus

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song performed by John Prine
Added by Lucian Velea
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The 'Eathen

The 'eathen in 'is blindness bows down to wood an' stone;
'E don't obey no orders unless they is 'is own;
'E keeps 'is side-arms awful: 'e leaves 'em all about,
An' then comes up the regiment an' pokes the 'eathen out.

All along o' dirtiness, all along o' mess,
All along o' doin' things rather-more-or-less,
All along of abby-nay, kul, an' hazar-ho, *
Mind you keep your rifle an' yourself jus' so!

* abby-nay: Not now. kul: To-morrow. hazar-ho: Wait a bit.

The young recruit is 'aughty -- 'e draf's from Gawd knows where;
They bid 'im show 'is stockin's an' lay 'is mattress square;
'E calls it bloomin' nonsense -- 'e doesn't know no more --
An' then up comes 'is Company an' kicks 'im round the floor!

The young recruit is 'ammered -- 'e takes it very 'ard;
'E 'angs 'is 'ead an' mutters -- 'e sulks about the yard;
'E talks o' "cruel tyrants" 'e'll swing for by-an'-by,

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poem by Rudyard Kipling
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It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from ""Dear Abby"" instead of going to Mom and Dad.

quote by Abigail Van Buren
Added by Lucian Velea
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s o r r y that's the only I can say

Sorry if I giving you hardtime
Sorry if I disappoint you
Sorry for everything I did wrong
And sorry if I fall in love with you
That's the only I can say SORRY

poem by Abby Hat
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I kept bugging them about making it more upscale, because I felt Abby, through her cleverness and business sense, was a character who would move up. And that's what she did.

quote by Donna Mills
Added by Lucian Velea
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Hard To Please

(To be said in one breath)
Elaine gives me a pain,
Gill makes me ill,
Winnie is a ninny,
Orin is borin'
Milly is silly,
Rosy is nosy,
Junie is loony,
Gussie is fussy,
Jackie is wacky,
Tommy is balmy,
Mary is scary,
Tammy is clammy,
Abby is crabby,
Patt is batty,
Mazie is lazy,
Tiny is whiney,
Missy is prissy,
Nicky is picky,
And almost everyone

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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Explode the Heart........

Rotten
yourself in the cell of emptiness
of mind, scant your
heart
to grow, leave the
poison that zeal you to
the Abby’s
of eluded reality; bring all the tears
that kneel down
before the milky way of star, hidden
the dipper
broken heart, that blows
your mind,
into the shadow
of resurrection, for a
destruction may come
in width open
eye that cried in the middle of
the night, tore all the
cab wave

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poem by Antonio Liao
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A friend whos always there

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you,
And share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own,
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
Are impossible for me

I cannot build a mountain,
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there

poem by Abby Garza
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It Doesnt Matter Who I Wrote It About

I’m sick of all your bullshit
I’m sick of all your lies
I’m sick you dragging down
Every part of my life

I’m tired of believing you’ll change for me
I’m tired of believing I care
I’m tired of wanting you around me
When I know you won’t be there

I don’t want to be a faker
I don’t want to be this afraid
I don’t want to be the only friend
Who dies being what you made

Yes I am angry at you
Yes you do control
Yes I am still sick and tired
But I don’t want to lose my girl.

poem by Abby Wesson
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Maybe Its My Conscience That Is Flawed

If I really wanted to let you know all my flaws I would
but that would let the silence left me misunderstood
If there were no time for quiet how would you judge me
but then again your judging me is no guarantee
you could simply accept the person you have received
but the silence does it best, and I am deceived
so as we walk alone and that moment comes at long last
I fill the silence with that of nonsense of present, future, and past
it has won again my devious conscience has won
and yet, for now, the silence is done

poem by Abby Randell
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