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Lovin You, Lovin Me

(sonny throckmorton)
Chorus:
Im loving you baby
Loving me, loving you, loving me
And Im inclined just to let it be let it be
Im a loving you, loving you, lovin me
Well Im loving you baby loving you
Loving you loving me
And Im inclined just to let it be, let it be
Im a loving you, loving you, loving me
Once was living life alone
Once was living but the life was gone
Once my life was just a bad routine
When youre doing it by yourself lifes such a lonely thing
Repeat chorus x3

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For You This Also Was True

If an experience obtained,
From a life lived free of restrictions...
Found to conflict with those who have none.
Or seem to appear to be limited.
What is the point being made,
By remaining in an argument with someone...
Who will insist what exists,
They have yet to experience...
Needs their validation with a thorough examination,
To be accepted before it is made known.
Know this!
Since for you this also was true!
So what is the best thing to do?
Agree and walk away.

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You Thought I Was That Type

You thought I was that type:
That you could forget me,
And that I'd plead and weep
And throw myself under the hooves of a bay mare,

Or that I'd ask the sorcerers
For some magic potion made from roots and send you a terrible gift:
My precious perfumed handkerchief.

Damn you! I will not grant your cursed soul
Vicarious tears or a single glance.

And I swear to you by the garden of the angels,
I swear by the miracle-working icon,
And by the fire and smoke of our nights:
I will never come back to you.

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For love of you my lute was strung

FOR love of you my lute was strung,
When singing days were fair and young,
When life and hope and song were new,
And all were sweet for love of you.
For love of you from June to June
My heart beat to a triumph tune,
And music rose by sea and land,
In answer to a victor's hand.
For love of you from sun to sun,
I strove to sing when songs were done,
And on each failing string my tears
Burnt silence, through the empty years.
But broken now 'neath evening skies,
My lute for ever tuneless lies,
And I but mourn the songs I knew,
Which were so sweet for love of you.

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You See...There Was Just Too Many Of Us!

I smell my grandmother's molasses cookies.
Deep dish apple and peach pies.
And grape preserves she would make.
And my own mother's beautiful hair,
Before she grayed.
And 'overnight'...
Seemed to have aged.

As I sit and reminisce.
About so many things I miss!

I see my grandfather,
Working in the backyard.
In the shed.
Where he 'diagnosed' the engine...
Of an old truck.
With every part of it laid in pieces.
Each of them,
Carefully spread to keep them near.

'Don't...
Move,
A thing!
Or pick it up...
Because you're curious!
I got my eye on ya! '

I hear my father say...
'It is time to get your haircut, boy.
And when you sit in that barber's chair...
You bet not make a fuss!
And don't say nothing to annoy! '

I remember my aunts and uncles...
Rushing to pick apples, grapes and pears.
From an old pig farm,
Where Chappelle Gardens now sits.
In a neighborhood in Hartford, Connecticut.

I remember this as if yesterday!
And the whippings we all shared.
Regardless...
Of who or who was not actually there!
No one was spared.

'I don't care who did what!
All of you are getting it! '
My grandmother would say!

I remember rolling my eyes...
With wishes I could run away!

~Grandma, I didn't do anything.
It was her! ~

*No it wasn't it was him! *

**No it wasn't it was them! **

You see...
There was just too many of us!
And my grandmother didn't really care.
She just wanted all of us to know...
The punishment she dealt,
Would be quick.
Honest.
And fair!


Note:
Dedicated to my wonderful family.
When we (many of us) all lived in either Stowe Village,
And/or Bellevue Square.
Tenement projects.
In separate buildings AND apartments.
Back in 'the day'.

Love you!

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Almost Hear You Sigh

I can almost hear you sigh
I can almost hear you cry
On every crowded street
All the places we would meet

What will I do without you
They say that life goes on
I'm feeling sorry for myself
I can't belive you're gone

You acted much too calm
You turned on all the charm
You had a cold look in your eyes

I can feel your tongue on mine
Silky smooth like wine
I'm living with those memories
That's all that's left of you and me

I can almost hear you sigh
Almost hear you cry
When you made sweet love to me
And you turned on all the charm
Acted much too calm
You had a cold look in your eyes

Did it mean nothng
Was it all in vain
Was I just your fool
Or was the pleasure pain
Have you set me free
Or will I wake up
In the morning
And find out it's been a bad dream

Come on

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The Blues Is Just A Bad Dream

A tree grows in my back yard
It only grows at night
Its branches theyre all twisted
Its leaves are afraid of light
They say the blues is just a bad dream
They say it lives upside your head
But when its lonely in the morning
Youre bound to wish that you was lying dead
Theres winds out on the ocean
Theyre blowing just as they choose
But then winds aint got no emotion, baby
And they dont know the blues
They say the blues is just a bad dream
They say it lives upside your head
But when its lonely, lonely in the morning
Youre bound to wish that you was lying dead
My mind is rambling and rambling
Just like some rolling stone, no
Since that nightmares come to stay with me, baby
My thoughts just dont belong
They say the blues is just a bad dream
They say it lives upside your head
But when they visit you around midnight
Youre bound to wish that you were lying dead

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Loving Me Back To Life

I've been looking for love in all the wrong places
Different names, familiar faces
I've watched the moon go through its phases
But now I love myself enough to say
It's time to let you go
Gotta let my feelings show
Don't wanna say goodbye, I wanna thank you
For loving me back to life
Do you keep yourself warm with the bridges you're burning
Another day gone but what are we learning
Thank God for the young, they keep the world turning
To win the war is not to play the game
It's time to let you go
Gotta let my feelings show
Don't wanna say goodbye, I wanna thank you
For loving me back to life
Love to live, live to love, let it go
Learn to live, just forgive and we can grow
Love to live, live to love, let it show
Love to live, just forgive and now I know
There's no gold beyond the rainbow
But everybody needs to dream
It's time to let you go
Gonna let my feelings show
Don't wanna say goodbye, I wanna thank you
It's time to let you go
Gonna let my feelings show
Don't wanna say goodbye, I wanna thank you
For loving me back to life

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Wherever You Are

There is a beautiful woman , an ordinary guy
You let her into your heart,
Its a part of the show but you never know why
You fall in love in a minute and its a bottomless well
And shed be draggin you down til you just wanna die
Its a livin hell
Wherever you go , you live inside of me
I was born to make you see what you never learned
Wherever you are , well let the lovin go down
Lovin evry minute
The seconds , the hours , that you wait around
What if I like to play but the world gets in the way
Instead of loving you Im losing you
And losing just dont pay
Somebody give me the night
Give me a chance to feel
I see your face in the sky ,
In the moon and the stars
But you know it aint real
You battle love to the limit
Ah ,but you never can win
You finish up cryin tears in the
Wild woods but you cant give in
Wherever you are , well let the lovin go down
Lovin every minute
The seconds , the hours , that you wait around
What if I like to play but the world gets in the way
Instead of loving you , Im losing you
And losing just dont pay
Wherever you are ,you know the lovin dont end
And though you make it a crime girl , I love ya
I try to talk to you woman
You got your mind on your own
There may be somebody else in your eyes girl
But youre still alone
Wherever you go my love will follow you
My dream will make it through
If I ever learn
Wherever you are , well let the lovin go down
Loving every minute
The seconds , the hours , that you wait around
What if I like to play but the world gets in the way
Instead of loving you , Im losing you
And losing just dont pay
(repeat last verse and fade out )

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Not Just A Bad Review

We’d not have had a Tisha B’av or Holocaust
if they’d just given us a bad review,
but we’ve been killed by them, not just divorced:
that’s what we mean by “hard to be a Jew”.
The Arabs say we are the favorite folk
of which they wish to be entirely rid;
unfortunately this is not a joke:
it’s still true that it’s shver tsu sayn a yid.

Kenneth Turan, senior movie critic for the LA Times, addressing an audience at UCLA today, was asked whether he thought the role of Jews has historically been fairly represented in Hollywood movies. He replied that it was impossible to do so. “After all, ” he said, “historically Jews haven’t just got bad reviews. I wish that were all that they’ve received.”

11/27/07

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You're All I Need

Album: Eternal (2001)
All alone for so long
All the hope I had in finding love was almost gone
Then an angel came along
Oh I believe good things come to those who wait
And destiny, girl I know it must be fate
Now I see, cuz I found my soulmate
You're all I need
Oh so wonderful, beautiful
But the words don't do you justice, girl
You're so much more
And I dedicate my life to love you so
Love you so, oh
Oh, I believe good things come to those who wait
And destiny, oh it must be fate
Cuz now I see, babe
Cuz I found my soulmate
You're all I need
Oh let me say it
I wanna say it again girl
Oh, I believe that good things come to those who wait
And destiny, girl I know it must be fate
Cuz now I see, cuz I found my soulmate
You're all I need
Never, never, never, never, never
Never leave me, babe
Stay right there, right there, right there
Oh, so hard to describe babe
You bring tears to my eyes
You're all I need
[Ad lib until fade ]

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As Long As You Follow

Written by christine mcvie.
Ive been searching
For a pot of gold
Like the kind you find
At the end of the rainbow
Ive been dreaming
Thought it was in vain
Ah but now youre here
Cant believe that youre back again
Now I know I cant lose
As long as you follow
Im gonna win (Im gonna win)
Im gonna beg, steal, or borrow
As long as you follow
Ive bee wandering
Gone away too far
But the road was rough
To get back where you are
And the sun went down
It never seemed to rise
Ah but now youre here
With the light shining in your eyes
Now I know I cant lose
As long as you follow
Im gonna win (Im gonna win)
Im gonna beg, steal, or borrow
Yes I can live today
If you give me tomorrow
As long as you follow
Now I know I cant lose
As long as you follow
Im gonna win (Im gonna win)
Im gonna beg, steal, or borrow
Yes I can live today
If you give me tomorrow
As long as you follow
As long as you follow (as long as you follow)
As long as you follow (as long as you follow)
As long as you follow (as long as you follow)
As long as you follow (as long as you follow)

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Least You Can Do

I was lying awake last night, waiting for your call
But if the rumours are true, that won't bother you at all
I'm trying hard to understand
What it takes to be your man
Now I don't have to wonder anymore
Least you can do is say you're sorry
Least you can do is give me back my heart
Just give me back my heart
Seems living in hope was wrong those years I was away
Thinking your letters, I never received, had gone astray
You said you'd always be there for me
Like a fool I thought you'd be
Now I don't know what I was thinking at all
But the least you can do is say you're sorry girl
Least you can do is give me back my heart
I won't come around no more
You won't find me standing outside your door
Least you can do is tell me why, tell me why
The least you can do is say you're sorry girl
Least you can do is give me back my heart
I won't come around no more
You won't find me standing outside your door
But the least you can do is tell me why
I won't be your fool anymore
There's no need to be cruel anymore, no, no no no no no
Least you can do is say you're sorry girl
The least you can do is give me back my heart
Just give me back my heart
Least you can do is say you're sorry girl
Say you're sorry, it's all you need to do
The least you can do is give me back my heart
So I can move on with my life
Least you can do is say you're sorry girl
Is that so much to ask
The least you can do is give me back my heart
Give me back my heart
Give me back my heart

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For The Love Of You

Well, well well well
Drifting on a memory
Ain't no place I'd rather be than with you, yes
Loving you, well well well
Day will make the way for night
All we need is candlelight
And a song, ooh, soft and long
Well well well, like to be
We're alone with a love unlike no other
Sad to see, a new horizon slowly coming into view
I want to be living for the love of you
All that I'm giving is for the love of you
Lovely as a ray of sun
That touches me when the morning comes
Feels good to me
Well, my loving me, loving me
Smoother then a gentle breeze
Blowing from my mind with ease
Soft as can be
When you're loving me, when you're loving me
I love to be
Riding the waves of love enchanted with your touch
It seems to me
We can sail together in and out of mystery
I want to be living for the love of you
All that I'm giving is for the love of you
I know that I'm living for the love of you, oh yes I do
All that I'm giving, giving is for the love of you
Paradise and heaven things can't feel as secure again
You're the key
This I see
Now and then I lose my way
Using words I try to say what I feel
Yeah, this is so real, so real
I might as well, sign my name on a card that could say it better
Time will tell
Cause it seems that I've done just about all that I can do, I can do
I want to be living for the love of you, oh yes I do
All that I'm giving is for the love of you
I wanna be living for the love of you, oh yes I do
All that I'm giving is for the love of you
Each and every day I'm living for the love of you
Said that I'm giving for the love of you

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Listen To Bad Guys When They Talk

Listen to bad guys when they talk
Especially when you see them for first time after long time Christmas Holidays
They said hello you baby girl, then they kiss or hug
Thereafter they scream so loud to ladies, but that the way they enjoy love
They do not ask you whether you need hug or not
Perhaps we call leave that for it a habit of all lovers
What about: asking you how your holidays was
What about not asking if your life is in good condition baby
But the good guys like me are not like those bad guys

I will not rush to kiss or even hug
I will hold your hand like a gold that I have dud so hard
I will ask how your Christmas time was baby
And then I ask if your health is in good condition baby

Baby, for I don’t think love was meant for kiss, hugs or just to make you sweat baby
For there are many people outside still claim they are in love and they do so baby
Out of site out of mind …where was he during holiday time baby!
Or you may don’t care about all of that ….Is that what both of think love is baby?
But for a starring man like me it not as easy as to charm you
My lady will not be treated like a substitute or Something for hug and kiss
Firstly I will ask if I ‘m smelling, wearing or appear good to you
Perhaps I will even ask you if we are in a good place, desirable to kiss, A Good place to touch and or make you sweat baby
Baby that what love meant for me and believe I mean everywhere
Oh baby love is trustworthy and noteworthy and something unique done by unique person to you.. and that me
These words are for all perfect lovers all around the word
Like a gold you deserve to be dug, paid a tribute and nourished the way you need
Don't let guys touch queens with rough hand and ill emotions of lies

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The Men Who Made Bad Matches

'Tis the song of many husbands, and you all must understand
That you cannot call me coward now that women rule the land;
I have written much for women, where I thought that they were right,
But the men who made bad matches claim a song from me to-night.
Oh, the men who made bad matches are of every tribe and clime,
And, if Adam was the first man, then they date from Adam’s time.
They shall live and they shall suffer, until married life is past,
And the last sad son of Adam stands alone—at peace at last.

Oh, the men who made bad matches, and the Great Misunderstood,
Are through all the world a mighty and a silent brotherhood.
If a wife is discontented, every other woman knows—
But the men who made bad matches keep the cruel secret close.

You may say that you can tell them, by their clothing, if you will,
But a man may seem neglected, and his home be happy still.
You may tell by their assumption of conventional disguise—
But, the men who made bad matches, I can tell them by their eyes!

I have seen them by the camp-fire, where a child’s voice never comes,
I have seen them by the fireside, in their seeming happy homes—
Seen their wives’ false arms go round them, and the kisses that were lies—
Oh, the men who made bad matches! I can tell them by their eyes.

I have seen them bad in prison—seen them sullen, seen them sad;
I have seen them (in the mad-house)—I have seen them raving mad.
Watched them fight the battle bravely, for the children’s sake alone,
Like a father who has wronged them, and who lives but to atone.

But it’s cruel, oh! it’s cruel, for the husband and the wife,
Who have not one thought in common, and are yoked for weary life.
They must see it through and suffer, for the children they must rear—
Oh, the folk who made bad matches have a heavy cross to bear.

There is not a ray of comfort, in the future’s gloomy sky,
For the children of bad matches will make trouble by-and-bye.
And though second wives be angels, while the first wives were the worst,
No second wife yet wedded makes a man forget the first.

Ah! the men who made bad matches think more often than we know,
Of the girls they should have married, in the glorious long ago,
And there’s many a wife and mother thinks with bitter pain to-day,
Of her giddy, silly girlhood, and the man she sent away.

Life is sad for men and women, but the thoughts are bitter sad
Of the girls we should have married, and the boys we should have had.
But we’ll part now with a handshake, if we cannot with a kiss,
And bad matches may be mended in a better world than this.

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02-04-2012 Brother I give you my answer for Black People African Sahara it mesmerizes the wise largest desert it is asked of we What is Africa is to me 3.3 million miles of grea

Brother I give you my answer
for Black People

African Sahara
it mesmerizes the wise
largest desert
it is asked of we
What is Africa is to me
3.3 million miles
of great desert
once a forest
once a great sea
once an empty hole
in space just waiting
to be that it can
birth the blackness
of who my mothers be
3.3 millions
you can not see it all
Trans Saharan trade
is but a child
weather selling slaves
or selling salt
and always
brought and sold
the black man's art, gold
the paintings
was still for the walls
to surround us
a representation of the thing
that be, the God that
rose Africa from the sea
man got his
walking feet
on Africa's soil
Africa Moors
salt caravans
Africa the salt
of the land
what more did Africa
give to man
gold first mimed
found its glow
in the hands of
a black child
oldest gold jewelry
in Queen Zer's tomb
being as old as this
there is nothing
that we can not do

2


Ivory like
polished stones
brought first
first African's sold
temples carved in stone
monuments to the stars
time reconciled first
by black men
our diet first set
by black mothers
with the future
suckling at their breast
women who smoothed
the roughness of their men
who were molded
on the land and without them
man does not exist
can not stand to be a man
these women folk
that founded and ruled
empires that none has of yet
master to control
Africa is the earth's Queen
and she have
no king nor need of one
Timbuktu flows
smooth off the tongue
the beauty
of Africa
is in Djenné
and Kournb
and where was man to
first child born
on Ethiopian's or
Botswana's soil
soil is the key
to who we be
as Native Penon Woman III
is native to America
Axum my Queen
of Sheba
the Axumite Empire
she made her own
Menelik
her son
father
King Solomon
he Menlik
first Emperor
of Ethiopian
he brought
the Arc of
the Covenant
back to Ethiopia
the only one
the Ten Commandment
that God carved in fire and light
the holy writ that guide some
black folks lives
the Egyptian words
the Jewish stones
The ten rules to use, abused
abruptly approve as truth
to writ as if it lives
like life, like Corporation
having life, all rules writ in stone
will someday break down
to dust on the wind
and reform somewhere else
man will never
conduct their lives
as not to covert
another man's wife
how holy is
man made of flesh
how hard the hash
his deeds and words
how come he
to seek control
of God as life
never before told
no true truth
can be known
the Ten Commandments
now the
white man's religion
is touched by
black hands
and these hands
have tilled the land
from which
human did grow


3

African
how large your
second count holds
in continent bold
how second your populous
of the range
of the blacks
from high yellow
to dirty red
to nub and blue-black
the blue-black
that blacks attacks
with adopted words like
niggers and fags
as if words we
must reclaim
brothers know thy self
words are a
deathly game
deathly as Eudy Simelane
is dead in her grave
or our brother name unknown
beaten and
set to fire the hatred
of men flames
it's sins in his rein
to be closer to a God
that money raised
we have no
human scientific limits
when it comes to
inflicting pain
made in the image of God?
Are you fucking mad
what kind of twist
of madness, twined with
love of lost of
another brother's life?
What creature sexually
molest it's own with sensuous delights?
To what God do man belong?
He thinks that his children
are his greatest hope
and not that we are theirs
and so some he starves
some out of life
and who knows
that that one
with dirt tossed
onto it blotted belly
may not have been
the one to make all the difference
of if our souls and form
rise or fall the fall into hell
where surely we are bound
to allow one child
six percent of earth
first man of the human
first Hominidera
ain't we an old soul?
We the first
in our blood
Homo Erectus
first Homo people
first male lust
for male and tight muscles
and women folks
who knew the smell
of the period of the other
and delighted to do so
first male blow
first life, first lfr
and Afri
we starts with an A
Aphrile without cold
Epher of Abraham
so says Leo Africanus
and we Aphròs
Egyptian taken out of
Af-rai-ka not taken toward
the opening of Ka
the energetic double
we not I the Ka
it takes a village
opening the womb
the birth place
no other lands
is older then
the Africa, that just be
oldest to rise
up out of the
one great sea
origin of human species
salt caravans
the salt of the earth
growth first found
its hold in the
first soil of a black land
ivory like polished stones
brought first, first sold
and who is to say
that by the way
Africans did not sailed
to people South America
potatoes and diamonds
oldest inhabitant territory
evidence clear
no bible can
rewrite the truth.


4
African's
Louisiana Voodoo
Haitian Voodoo too
Bondye, Iwa
the forces
of the universe
the reproductive good
the evil health
my father's spirit
haunts me no more
with his absence
the mount
do not mount me
for good or ill
the twin of
contradiction
I claim as my own as Gods
for without it
we know nothing
but this by this
this thing here
sat against this
is it known
the dead
the honor to give
they also heals
my needs to
be like voodoo
to my people
voodoo
pacify the sprints
that guides
their lives
Botswana's
soil holds
the oldest
worshiping on earth
the birth of God
on African soil
in Ngamiland
rituals of worship
the python
70,000 years old
the blacks
knew
true
that there lived
something greater
then me and you
and that we can not own
but live within as one
of the all mighty ALL
Europe only
counts 30,000
babies in the cradle
the Kalahari desert
many know its name
but not the Tsodilo Hills
within our closest friend
of who we be
as flesh of human
the first artiest
the first priest
that rock
that whispers
that mountain
of God
the consciousness of
is an invention of our
what is Africa to me
he asked the question
East St. Louis
to Oakland
African
lives in me
be where
black blood be as thine
the only way
to share the
original blood
is through us
African Sahara
it mesmerizes the wise
largest desert
it is asked of we
What is Africa is to me
3.3 million miles
of great desert
once a forest
once a great sea
once an empty hole
in space just waiting
to be that it can
birth the blackness
of who my mothers be
3.3 millions
you can not see it all
Trans Saharan trade
is but a child
weather selling slaves
or selling salt
and always
brought and sold
the black man's art, gold
the paintings
was still for the walls
to surround us
a representation of the thing
that be, the God that
rose Africa from the sea
man got his
walking feet
on Africa's soil
Africa Moors
salt caravans
Africa the salt
of the land
what more did Africa
give to man
gold first mimed
found its glow
in the hands of
a black child
oldest gold jewelry
in Queen Zer's tomb
being as old as this
there is nothing
that we can not do

2


Ivory like
polished stones
brought first
first African's sold
temples carved in stone
monuments to the stars
time reconciled first
by black men
our diet first set
by black mothers
with the future
suckling at their breast
women who smoothed
the roughness of their men
who were molded
on the land and without them
man does not exist
can not stand to be a man
these women folk
that founded and ruled
empires that none has of yet
master to control
Africa is the earth's Queen
and she have
no king nor need of one
Timbuktu flows
smooth off the tongue
the beauty
of Africa
is in Djenné
and Kournb
and where was man to
first child born
on Ethiopian's or
Botswana's soil
soil is the key
to who we be
as Native Penon Woman III
is native to America
Axum my Queen
of Sheba
the Axumite Empire
she made her own
Menelik
her son
father
King Solomon
he Menlik
first Emperor
of Ethiopian
he brought
the Arc of
the Covenant
back to Ethiopia
the only one
the Ten Commandment
that God carved in fire and light
the holy writ that guide some
black folks lives
the Egyptian words
the Jewish stones
The ten rules to use, abused
abruptly approve as truth
to writ as if it lives
like life, like Corporation
having life, all rules writ in stone
will someday break down
to dust on the wind
and reform somewhere else
man will never
conduct their lives
as not to covert
another man's wife
how holy is
man made of flesh
how hard the hash
his deeds and words
how come he
to seek control
of God as life
never before told
no true truth
can be known
the Ten Commandments
now the
white man's religion
is touched by
black hands
and these hands
have tilled the land
from which
human did grow


3

African
how large your
second count holds
in continent bold
how second your populous
of the range
of the blacks
from high yellow
to dirty red
to nub and blue-black
the blue-black
that blacks attacks
with adopted words like
niggers and fags
as if words we
must reclaim
brothers know thy self
words are a
deathly game
deathly as Eudy Simelane
is dead in her grave
or our brother name unknown
beaten and
set to fire the hatred
of men flames
it's sins in his rein
to be closer to a God
that money raised
we have no
human scientific limits
when it comes to
inflicting pain
made in the image of God?
Are you fucking mad
what kind of twist
of madness, twined with
love of lost of
another brother's life?
What creature sexually
molest it's own with sensuous delights?
To what God do man belong?
He thinks that his children
are his greatest hope
and not that we are theirs
and so some he starves
some out of life
and who knows
that that one
with dirt tossed
onto it blotted belly
may not have been
the one to make all the difference
of if our souls and form
rise or fall the fall into hell
where surely we are bound
to allow one child
six percent of earth
first man of the human
first Hominidera
ain't we an old soul?
We the first
in our blood
Homo Erectus
first Homo people
first male lust
for male and tight muscles
and women folks
who knew the smell
of the period of the other
and delighted to do so
first male blow
first life, first lfr
and Afri
we starts with an A
Aphrile without cold
Epher of Abraham
so says Leo Africanus
and we Aphròs
Egyptian taken out of
Af-rai-ka not taken toward
the opening of Ka
the energetic double
we not I the Ka
it takes a village
opening the womb
the birth place
no other lands
is older then
the Africa, that just be
oldest to rise
up out of the
one great sea
origin of human species
salt caravans
the salt of the earth
growth first found
its hold in the
first soil of a black land
ivory like polished stones
brought first, first sold
and who is to say
that by the way
Africans did not sailed
to people South America
potatoes and diamonds
oldest inhabitant territory
evidence clear
no bible can
rewrite the truth.


4
African's
Louisiana Voodoo
Haitian Voodoo too
Bondye, Iwa
the forces
of the universe
the reproductive good
the evil health
my father's spirit
haunts me no more
with his absence
the mount
do not mount me
for good or ill
the twin of
contradiction
I claim as my own as Gods
for without it
we know nothing
but this by this
this thing here
sat against this
is it known
the dead
the honor to give
they also heals
my needs to
be like voodoo
to my people
voodoo
pacify the sprints
that guides
their lives
Botswana's
soil holds
the oldest
worshiping on earth
the birth of God
on African soil
in Ngamiland
rituals of worship
the python
70,000 years old
the blacks
knew
true
that there lived
something greater
then me and you
and that we can not own
but live within as one
of the all mighty ALL
Europe only
counts 30,000
babies in the cradle
the Kalahari desert
many know its name
but not the Tsodilo Hills
within our closest friend
of who we be
as flesh of human
the first artiest
the first priest
that rock
that whispers
that mountain
of God
the consciousness of
is an invention of our
what is Africa to me
he asked the question
East St. Louis
to Oakland
African
lives in me
be where
black blood be as thine
the only way
to share the
original blood
is through us

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Easter-Day

HOW very hard it is to be
A Christian! Hard for you and me,
—Not the mere task of making real
That duty up to its ideal,
Effecting thus complete and whole,
A purpose or the human soul—
For that is always hard to do;
But hard, I mean, for me and you
To realise it, more or less,
With even the moderate success
Which commonly repays our strife
To carry out the aims of life.
“This aim is greater,” you may say,
And so more arduous every way.”
But the importance of the fruits
Still proves to man, in all pursuits,
Proportional encouragement.
“Then, what if it be God’s intent
“That labour to this one result
“Shall seem unduly difficult?”
—Ah, that’s a question in the dark—
And the sole thing that I remark
Upon the difficulty, this;
We do not see it where it is,
At the beginning of the race:
As we proceed, it shifts its place,
And where we looked for palms to fall,
We find the tug’s to come,—that’s all.

II.
At first you say, “The whole, or chief
“Of difficulties, is Belief.
“Could I believe once thoroughly,
The rest were simple. What? Am I
“An idiot, do you think? A beast?
“Prove to me only that the least
“Command of God is God’s indeed,
And what injunction shall I need
To pay obedience? Death so nigh
When time must end, eternity
“Begin,—and cannot I compute?
“Weigh loss and gain together? suit
My actions to the balance drawn,
And give my body to be sawn
“Asunder, hacked in pieces, tied
To horses, stoned, burned, crucified,
“Like any martyr of the list?
“How gladly,—if I made acquist,
“Through the brief minutes’ fierce annoy,
“Of God’s eternity of joy.”

III.
And certainly you name the point
Whereon all turns: for could you joint
This flexile finite life once tight
Into the fixed and infinite,
You, safe inside, would spurn what’s out,
With carelessness enough, no doubt—
Would spurn mere life: but where time brings
To their next stage your reasonings,
Your eyes, late wide, begin to wink
Nor see the path so well, I think.

IV.
You say, “Faith may be, one agrees,
A touchstone for God’s purposes,
“Even as ourselves conceive of them.
“Could He acquit us or condemn
“For holding what no hand can loose,
“Rejecting when we can’t but choose?
“As well award the victor’s wreath
To whosoever should take breath
“Duly each minute while he lived—
“Grant Heaven, because a man contrived
To see the sunlight every day
“He walked forth on the public way.
You must mix some uncertainty
“With faith, if you would have faith be.
“Why, what but faith, do we abhor
And idolize each other for—
“—Faith in our evil, or our good,
“Which is or is not understood
“Aright by those we love or those
“We hate, thence called our friends or foes?
“Your mistress saw your spirit’s grace,
When, turning from the ugly face,
“I found belief in it too hard;
And both of us have our reward.
“—Yet here a doubt peeps: well for us
“Weak beings, to go using thus
A touchstone for our little ends,
And try with faith the foes and friends;
“—But God, bethink you! I would fain
“Conceive of the Creator’s reign
“As based upon exacter laws
“Than creatures build by with applause.
“In all God’s acts—(as Plato cries
“He doth)—He should geometrise.
“Whence, I desiderate . . .

V.
I see!
You would grow smoothly as a tree.
Soar heavenward, straightly up like fire—
God bless you—there’s your world entire
Needing no faith, if you think fit;
Go there, walk up and down in it!
The whole creation travails, groans—
Contrive your music from its moans,
Without or let or hindrance, friend!
That’s an old story, and its end
As old—you come back (be sincere)
With every question you put here
(Here where there once was, and is still,
We think, a living oracle,
Whose answers you stood carping at)
This time flung back unanswered flat,—
Besides, perhaps, as many more
As those that drove you out before,
Now added, where was little need!
Questions impossible, indeed,
To us who sate still, all and each
Persuaded that our earth had speech
Of God’s, writ down, no matter if
In cursive type or hieroglyph,—
Which one fact frees us from the yoke
Of guessing why He never spoke.
You come back in no better plight
Than when you left us,—am I right?

VI.
So the old process, I conclude,
Goes on, the reasoning’s pursued
Further. You own. “’Tis well averred,
A scientific faith’s absurd,
“—Frustrates the very end ’twas meant
To serve: so I would rest content
“With a mere probability,
But, probable; the chance must lie
“Clear on one side,—lie all in rough,
“So long as there is just enough
To pin my faith to, though it hap
“Only at points: from gap to gap
“One hangs up a huge curtain so,
“Grandly, nor seeks to have it go
“Foldless and flat along the wall:
“—What care I that some interval
“Of life less plainly might depend
“On God? I’d hang there to the end;
And thus I should not find it hard
To be a Christian and debarred
“From trailing on the earth, till furled
“Away by death!—Renounce the world?
“Were that a mighty hardship? Plan
A pleasant life, and straight some man
“Beside you, with, if he thought fit,
“Abundant means to compass it,
“Shall turn deliberate aside
To try and live as, if you tried
You clearly might, yet most despise.
“One friend of mine wears out his eyes,
“Slighting the stupid joys of sense,
“In patient hope that, ten years hence,
“Somewhat completer he may see
“His list of lepidopteræ:
“While just the other who most laughs
“At him, above all epitaphs
“Aspires to have his tomb describe
“Himself as Sole among the tribe
“Of snuffbox-fanciers, who possessed
A Grignon with the Regent’s crest.
“So that, subduing as you want,
“Whatever stands predominant
“Among my earthly appetites
“For tastes, and smells, and sounds, and sights,
“I shall be doing that alone,
To gain a palm-branch and a throne,
“Which fifty people undertake
To do, and gladly, for the sake
“Of giving a Semitic guess,
“Or playing pawns at blindfold chess.”

VII.
Good! and the next thing is,—look round
For evidence enough. ’Tis found,
No doubt: as is your sort of mind,
So is your sort of search—you’ll find
What you desire, and that’s to be
A Christian: what says History?
How comforting a point it were
To find some mummy-scrap declare
There lived a Moses! Better still,
Prove Jonah’s whale translatable
Into some quicksand of the seas,
Isle, cavern, rock, or what you please,
That Faith might clap her wings and crow
From such an eminence! Or, no—
The Human Heart’s best; you prefer
Making that prove the minister
To truth; you probe its wants and needs
And hopes and fears, then try what creeds
Meet these most aptly,—resolute
That Faith plucks such substantial fruit
Wherever these two correspond,
She little needs to look beyond,
To puzzle out what Orpheus was,
Or Dionysius Zagrias.
You’ll find sufficient, as I say,
To satisfy you either way.
You wanted to believe; your pains
Are crowned—you do: and what remains?
Renounce the world!—Ah, were it done
By merely cutting one by one
Your limbs off, with your wise head last,
How easy were it!—how soon past,
If once in the believing mood!
Such is man’s usual gratitude,
Such thanks to God do we return,
For not exacting that we spurn
A single gift of life, forego
One real gain,—only taste them so
With gravity and temperance,
That those mild virtues may enhance
Such pleasures, rather than abstract—
Last spice of which, will be the fact
Of love discerned in every gift;
While, when the scene of life shall shift,
And the gay heart be taught to ache,
As sorrows and privations take
The place of joy,—the thing that seems
Mere misery, under human schemes,
Becomes, regarded by the light
Of Love, as very near, or quite
As good a gift as joy before.
So plain is it that all the more
God’s dispensation’s merciful,
More pettishly we try and cull
Briars, thistles, from our private plot,
To mar God’s ground where thorns are not!

VIII.
Do you say this, or I?—Oh, you!
Then, what, my friend,—(so I pursue
Our parley)—you indeed opine
That the Eternal and Divine
Did, eighteen centuries ago,
In very truth . . . Enough! you know
The all-stupendous tale,—that Birth,
That Life, that Death! And all, the earth
Shuddered at,—all, the heavens grew black
Rather than see; all, Nature’s rack
And throe at dissolution’s brink
Attested,—it took place, you think,
Only to give our joys a zest,
And prove our sorrows for the best?
We differ, then! Were I, still pale
And heartstruck at the dreadful tale,
Waiting to hear God’s voice declare
What horror followed for my share,
As implicated in the deed,
Apart from other sins,—concede
That if He blacked out in a blot
My brief life’s pleasantness, ’twere not
So very disproportionate!
Or there might be another fate—
I certainly could understand
(If fancies were the thing in hand)
How God might save, at that Day’s price,
The impure in their impurities,
Leave formal licence and complete
To choose the fair, and pick the sweet.
But there be certain words, broad, plain,
Uttered again and yet again,
Hard to mistake, to overgloss—
Announcing this world’s gain for loss,
And bidding us reject the same:
The whole world lieth (they proclaim)
In wickedness,—come out of it!—
Turn a deaf ear, if you think fit,
But I who thrill through every nerve
At thought of what deaf ears deserve,—
How do you counsel in the case?

IX.
“I’d take, by all means, in your place,
The safe side, since it so appears:
“Deny myself, a few brief years,
The natural pleasure, leave the fruit
“Or cut the plant up by the root.
“Remember what a martyr said
“On the rude tablet overhead—
“‘I was born sickly, poor and mean,
“‘A slave: no misery could screen
“‘The holders of the pearl of price
“‘From Cæsar’s envy; therefore twice
“‘I fought with beasts, and three times saw
“‘My children suffer by his law—
“‘At last my own release was earned:
“‘I was some time in being burned,
“‘But at the close a Hand came through
“‘The fire above my head, and drew
“‘My soul to Christ, whom now I see.
“‘Sergius, a brother, writes for me
“‘This testimony on the wall—
“‘For me, I have forgot it all.’
You say right; this were not so hard!
And since one nowise is debarred
“From this, why not escape some sins
By such a method?”

X.
—Then begins
To the old point, revulsion new—
(For ’tis just this, I bring you to)
If after all we should mistake,
And so renounce life for the sake
Of death and nothing else? You hear
Our friends we jeered at, send the jeer
Back to ourselves with good effect—
‘There were my beetles to collect!’
My box—a trifle, I confess,
But here I hold it, ne’ertheless!’
Poor idiots, (let us pluck up heart
And answer) we, the better part
Have chosen, though ’twere only hope,—
Nor envy moles like you that grope
Amid your veritable muck,
More than the grasshoppers would truck,
For yours, their passionate life away,
That spends itself in leaps all day
To reach the sun, you want the eyes
To see, as they the wings to rise
And match the noble hearts of them!
So, the contemner we contemn,—
And, when doubt strikes us, so, we ward
Its stroke off, caught upon our guard,
—Not struck enough to overturn
Our faith, but shake it—make us learn
What I began with, and, I wis,
End, having proved,—how hard it is
To be a Christian!

XI.
“Proved, or not,
“Howe’er you wis, small thanks, I wot,
You get of mine, for taking pains
To make it hard to me. Who gains
By that, I wonder? Here I live
“In trusting ease; and do you drive
“At causing me to lose what most
Yourself would mourn for when ’twas lost?”

XII.
But, do you see, my friend, that thus
You leave St. Paul for Æschylus?—
—Who made his Titan’s arch-device
The giving men blind hopes to spice
The meal of life with, else devoured
In bitter haste, while lo! Death loured
Before them at the platter’s edge!
If faith should be, as we allege,
Quite other than a condiment
To heighten flavors with, or meant
(Like that brave curry of his Grace)
To take at need the victuals’ place?
If having dined you would digest
Besides, and turning to your rest
Should find instead . . .

XIII.
Now, you shall see
And judge if a mere foppery
Pricks on my speaking! I resolve
To utter . . . yes, it shall devolve
On you to hear as solemn, strange
And dread a thing as in the range
Of facts,—or fancies, if God will—
E’er happened to our kind! I still
Stand in the cloud, and while it wraps
My face, ought not to speak, perhaps;
Seeing that as I carry through
My purpose, if my words in you
Find veritable listeners,
My story, reason’s self avers
Must needs be false—the happy chance!
While, if each human countenance
I meet in London streets all day,
Be what I fear,—my warnings fray
No one, and no one they convert,
And no one helps me to assert
How hard it is to really be
A Christian, and in vacancy
I pour this story!

XIV.
I commence
By trying to inform you, whence
It comes that every Easter-night
As now, I sit up, watch, till light
Shall break, those chimney-stacks and roofs
Give, through my window-pane, grey proofs
That Easter-day is breaking slow.
On such a night, three years ago,
It chanced that I had cause to cross
The common, where the chapel was,
Our friend spoke of, the other day—
You’ve not forgotten, I dare say.
I fell to musing of the time
So close, the blessed matin-prime
All hearts leap up at, in some guise—
One could not well do otherwise.
Insensibly my thoughts were bent
Toward the main point; I overwent
Much the same ground of reasoning
As you and I just now: one thing
Remained, however—one that tasked
My soul to answer; and I asked,
Fairly and frankly, what might be
That History, that Faith, to me
Me there—not me, in some domain
Built up and peopled by my brain,
Weighing its merits as one weighs
Mere theories for blame or praise,
The Kingcraft of the Lucumons,
Or Fourier’s scheme, its pros and cons,—
But as my faith, or none at all.
‘How were my case, now, should I fall
‘Dead here, this minute—do I lie
‘Faithful or faithless?’—Note that I
Inclined thus ever!—little prone
For instance, when I slept alone
In childhood, to go calm to sleep
And leave a closet where might keep
His watch perdue some murderer
Waiting till twelve o’clock to stir,
As good, authentic legends tell
He might—‘But how improbable!
‘How little likely to deserve
The pains and trial to the nerve
‘Of thrusting head into the dark,’—
Urged my old nurse, and bade me mark
Besides, that, should the dreadful scout
Really lie hid there, to leap out
At first turn of the rusty key,
It were small gain that she could see
In being killed upon the floor
And losing one night’s sleep the more.
I tell you, I would always burst
The door ope, know my fate at first.—
This time, indeed, the closet penned
No such assassin: but a friend
Rather, peeped out to guard me, fit
For counsel, Common Sense, to-wit,
Who said a good deal that might pass,—
Heartening, impartial too, it was,
Judge else: ‘For, soberly now,—who
‘Should be a Christian if not you?’
(Hear how he smoothed me down). ‘One takes
A whole life, sees what course it makes
‘Mainly, and not by fits and starts—
‘In spite of stoppage which imparts
‘Fresh value to the general speed:
A life, with none, would fly indeed:
‘Your progressing is slower-right!
‘We deal with progressing, not flight.
‘Through baffling senses passionate,
‘Fancies as restless,—with a freight
‘Of knowledge cumbersome enough
To sink your ship when waves grow rough,
‘Not serve as ballast in the hold,
‘I find, ’mid dangers manifold,
The good bark answers to the helm
‘Where Faith sits, easier to o’erwhelm
‘Than some stout peasant’s heavenly guide,
‘Whose hard head could not, if it tried,
‘Conceive a doubt, or understand
‘How senses hornier than his hand
‘Should ’tice the Christian off, his guard—
‘More happy! But shall we award
‘Less honour to the hull, which, dogged
By storms, a mere wreck, waterlogged,
‘Masts by the board, and bulwarks gone,
And stanchions going, yet bears on,—
‘Than to mere life-boats, built to save,
And triumph o’er the breaking wave?
‘Make perfect your good ship as these,
And what were her performances!’
I added—‘Would the ship reached home!
‘I wish indeed “God’s kingdom come—”
The day when I shall see appear
‘His bidding, as my duty, clear
‘From doubt! And it shall dawn, that day,
‘Some future season; Easter may
‘Prove, not impossibly, the time—
‘Yes, that were striking—fates would chime
‘So aptly! Easter-morn, to bring
The Judgment!—deeper in the Spring
‘Than now, however, when there’s snow
‘Capping the hills; for earth must show
‘All signs of meaning to pursue
‘Her tasks as she was wont to do—
‘—The lark, as taken by surprise
‘As we ourselves, shall recognise
‘Sudden the end: for suddenly
It comes—the dreadfulness must be
‘In that—all warrants the belief—
‘“At night it cometh like a thief.”
‘I fancy why the trumpet blows;
‘—Plainly, to wake one. From repose
‘We shall start up, at last awake
‘From life, that insane dream we take
‘For waking now, because it seems.
And as, when now we wake from dreams,
‘We say, while we recall them, “Fool,
‘“To let the chance slip, linger cool
‘“When such adventure offered! Just
‘“A bridge to cross, a dwarf to thrust
‘“Aside, a wicked mage to stab—
‘“And, lo ye, I had kissed Queen Mab,”—
‘So shall we marvel why we grudged
‘Our labours here, and idly judged
‘Of Heaven, we might have gained, but lose!
‘Lose? Talk of loss, and I refuse
To plead at all! I speak no worse
‘Nor better than my ancient nurse
When she would tell me in my youth
‘I well deserved that shapes uncouth
‘Should fright and tease me in my sleep—
‘Why did I not in memory keep
‘Her precept for the evil’s cure?
‘“Pinch your own arm, boy, and be sure
‘“You’ll wake forthwith!”’

XV.
And as I said
This nonsense, throwing back my head
With light complacent laugh, I found
Suddenly all the midnight round
One fire. The dome of Heaven had stood
As made up of a multitude
Of handbreadth cloudlets, one vast rack
Of ripples infinite and black,
From sky to sky. Sudden there went,
Like horror and astonishment,
A fierce vindictive scribble of red
Quick flame across, as if one said
(The angry scribe of Judgment) ‘There—
‘Burn it!’ And straight I was aware
That the whole ribwork round, minute
Cloud touching cloud beyond compute,
Was tinted each with its own spot
Of burning at the core, till clot
Jammed against clot, and spilt its fire
Over all heaven, which ’gan suspire
As fanned to measure equable,—
As when great conflagrations kill
Night overhead, and rise and sink,
Reflected. Now the fire would shrink
And wither oft the blasted face
Of heaven, and I distinct could trace
The sharp black ridgy outlines left
Unburned like network—then, each cleft
The fire had been sucked back into,
Regorged, and out it surging flew
Furiously, and night writhed inflamed,
Till, tolerating to be tamed
No longer, certain rays world-wide
Shot downwardly, on every side,
Caught past escape; the earth was lit;
As if a dragon’s nostril split
And all his famished ire o’erflowed;
Then, as he winced at his Lord’s goad,
Back he inhaled: whereat I found
The clouds into vast pillars bound,
Based on the corners of the earth,
Propping the skies at top: a dearth
Of fire i’ the violet intervals,
Leaving exposed the utmost walls
Of time, about to tumble in
And end the world.

XVI.
I felt begin
The Judgment-Day: to retrocede
Was too late now.—‘In very deed,
(I uttered to myself) ‘that Day!’
The intuition burned away
All darkness from my spirit too—
There, stood I, found and fixed, I knew,
Choosing the world. The choice was made—
And naked and disguiseless stayed,
An unevadeable, the fact.
My brain held ne’ertheless compact
Its senses, nor my heart declined
Its office—rather, both combined
To help me in this juncture—I
Lost not a second,—agony
Gave boldness: there, my life had end
And my choice with it—best defend,
Applaud them! I resolved to say,
So was I framed by Thee, this way
‘I put to use Thy senses here!
It was so beautiful, so near,
‘Thy world,—what could I do but choose
My part there? Nor did I refuse
To look above the transient boon
‘In time—but it was hard so soon
‘As in a short life, to give up
Such beauty: I had put the cup
‘Undrained of half its fullness, by;
But, to renounce it utterly,
‘—That was too hard! Nor did the Cry
‘Which bade renounce it, touch my brain
‘Authentically deep and plain
‘Enough, to make my lips let go.
But Thou, who knowest all, dost know
‘Whether I was not, life’s brief while,
‘Endeavouring to reconcile
‘Those lips—too tardily, alas!
To letting the dear remnant pass,
‘One day,—some drops of earthly good
‘Untasted! Is it for this mood,
‘That Thou, whose earth delights so well,
‘Has made its complement a Hell?

XVII.
A final belch of fire like blood,
Overbroke all, next, in one flood
Of doom. Then fire was sky, and sky
Was fire, and both, one extasy,
Then ashes. But I heard no noise
(Whatever was) because a Voice
Beside me spoke thus, “All is done,
“Time end’s, Eternity’s begun,
And thou art judged for evermore!”

XVIII.
I looked up; all was as before;
Of that cloud-Tophet overhead,
No trace was left: I saw instead
The common round me, and the sky
Above, stretched drear and emptily
Of life: ’twas the last watch of night,
Except what brings the morning quite,
When the armed angel, conscience-clear
His task nigh done, leans o’er his spear
And gazes on the earth he guards,
Safe one night more through all its wards,
Till God relieve him at his post.
A dream—a waking dream at most!’
(I spoke out quick that I might shake
The horrid nightmare off, and wake.)
The world’s gone, yet the world is here?
‘Are not all things as they appear?
‘Is Judgment past for me alone?
‘—And where had place the Great White Throne?
The rising of the Quick and Dead?
‘Where stood they, small and great? Who read
The sentence from the Opened Book?’
So, by degrees, the blood forsook
My heart, and let it beat afresh:
I knew I should break through the mesh
Of horror, and breathe presently—
When, lo, again, the Voice by me!

XIX.
I saw . . . Oh, brother, ’mid far sands
The palm-tree-cinctured city stands,—
Bright-white beneath, as Heaven, bright-blue,
Above it, while the years pursue
Their course, unable to abate
Its paradisal laugh at fate:
One morn,—the Arab staggers blind
O’er a new tract of death, calcined
To ashes, silence, nothingness,—
Striving, with dizzy wits, to guess
Whence fell the blow: what if, ’twixt skies
And prostrate earth, he should surprise
The imaged Vapour, head to foot.
Surveying, motionless and mute,
Its work, ere, in a whirlwind rapt,
It vanish up again?—So hapt
My chance. HE stood there. Like the smoke
Pillared o’er Sodom, when day broke,—
I saw Him. One magnific pall
Mantled in massive fold and fall
His Dread, and coiled in snaky swathes
About His feet: night’s black, that bathes
All else, broke, grizzled with despair,
Against the soul of blackness there.
A gesture told the mood within—
That wrapped right hand which based the chin,—
That intense meditation fixed
On His procedure,—pity mixed
With the fulfilment of decree.
Motionless, thus, He spoke to me,
Who fell before His feet, a mass,
No man now.

XX.
“All is come to pass.
Such shows are over for each soul
“They had respect to. In the roll
“Of Judgment which convinced mankind
“Of sin, stood many, bold and blind,
“Terror must burn the truth into:
“Their fate for them!—thou had’st to do
“With absolute omnipotence,
“Able its judgments to dispense
To the whole race, as every one
“Were its sole object: that is done:
“God is, thou art,—the rest is hurled
To nothingness for thee. This world,
“This finite life, thou hast preferred,
“In disbelief of God’s own word,
To Heaven and to Infinity.
“Here, the probation was for thee,
To show thy soul the earthly mixed
“With Heavenly, it must choose betwixt.
The earthly joys lay palpable,—
A taint, in each, distinct as well;
The Heavenly flitted, faint and rare,
“Above them, but as truly were
“Taintless, so in their nature, best.
“Thy choice was earth: thou didst attest
“Twas fitter spirit should subserve
The flesh, than flesh refine to nerve
“Beneath the spirit’s play. Advance
“No claim to their inheritance
“Who chose the spirit’s fugitive
“Brief gleams, and thought, ‘This were to live
“‘Indeed, if rays, completely pure
“‘From flesh that dulls them, should endure,—
““Not shoot in meteor-light athwart
“‘Our earth, to show how cold and swart
“‘It lies beneath their fire, but stand
“‘As stars should, destined to expand,
“‘Prove veritable worlds, our home!’
“Thou said’st,—‘Let Spirit star the dome
“‘Of sky, that flesh may miss no peak,
“‘No nook of earth,—I shall not seek
“‘Its service further!’ Thou art shut
“Out of the Heaven of Spirit; glut
“Thy sense upon the world: ’tis thine
“For ever—take it!”

XXI.
‘How? Is mine,
The world?’ (I cried, while my soul broke
Out in a transport) ‘Hast thou spoke
‘Plainly in that? Earth’s exquisite
‘Treasures of wonder and delight,
‘For me?’

XXII.
The austere Voice returned,—
“So soon made happy? Hadst thou learned
“What God accounteth happiness,
“Thou wouldst not find it hard to guess
“What Hell may be His punishment
“For those who doubt if God invent
“Better than they. Let such men rest
“Content with what they judged the best.
Let the Unjust usurp at will:
The Filthy shall be filthy still:
“Miser, there waits the gold for thee!
“Hater, indulge thine enmity!
And thou, whose heaven, self-ordained,
Was to enjoy earth unrestrained,
“Do it! Take all the ancient show!
The woods shall wave, the rivers flow,
And men apparently pursue
“Their works, as they were wont to do,
“While living in probation yet:
“I promise not thou shalt forget
The past, now gone to its account,
But leave thee with the old amount
“Of faculties, nor less nor more,
“Unvisited, as heretofore,
By God’s free spirit, that makes an end.
“So, once more, take thy world; expend
“Eternity upon its shows,—
“Flung thee as freely as one rose
“Out of a summer’s opulence,
“Over the Eden-barrier whence
“Thou art excluded, Knock in vain!”

XXIII.
I sate up. All was still again.
I breathed free: to my heart, back fled
The warmth. ‘But, all the world!’ (I said)
I stooped and picked a leaf of fern,
And recollected I might learn
From books, how many myriad sorts
Exist, if one may trust reports,
Each as distinct and beautiful
As this, the very first I cull.
Think, from the first leaf to the last!
Conceive, then, earth’s resources! Vast
Exhaustless beauty, endless change
Of wonder! and this foot shall range
Alps, Andes,—and this eye devour
The bee-bird and the aloe-flower?

XXIV.
And the Voice, “Welcome so to rate
The arras-folds that variegate
The earth, God’s antechamber, well!
The wise, who waited there, could tell
By these, what royalties in store
“Lay one step past the entrance-door.
“For whom, was reckoned, not too much,
“This life’s munificence? For such
“As thou,—a race, whereof not one
Was able, in a million,
To feel that any marvel lay
“In objects round his feet all day;
“Nor one, in many millions more,
“Willing, if able, to explore
The secreter, minuter charm!
“—Brave souls, a fern-leaf could disarm
“Of power to cope with God’s intent,—
“Or scared if the South Firmament
“With North-fire did its wings refledge!
“All partial beauty was a pledge
“Of beauty in its plenitude:
But since the pledge sufficed thy mood,
“Retain it—plenitude be theirs
“Who looked above!”

XXV.
Though sharp despairs
Shot through me, I held up, bore on.
‘What is it though my trust is gone
‘From natural things? Henceforth my part
Be less with Nature than with Art!
‘For Art supplants, gives mainly worth
To Nature; ’tis Man stamps the earth—
And I will seek his impress, seek
The statuary of the Greek,
‘Italy’s painting—there my choice
‘Shall fix!’

XXVI.
“Obtain it,” said the Voice.
The one form with its single act,
“Which sculptors laboured to abstract,
The one face, painters tried to draw,
“With its one look, from throngs they saw!
And that perfection in their soul,
“These only hinted at? The whole,
“They were but parts of? What each laid
“His claim to glory on?—afraid
“His fellow-men should give him rank
By the poor tentatives he shrank
“Smitten at heart from, all the more,
“That gazers pressed in to adore!
“‘Shall I be judged by only these?’
“If such his soul’s capacities,
“Even while he trod the earth,—think, now
“What pomp in Buonarotti’s brow,
“With its new palace-brain where dwells
“Superb the soul, unvexed by cells
“That crumbled with the transient clay!
“What visions will his right hand’s sway
“Still turn to form, as still they burst
“Upon him? How will he quench thirst,
“Titanically infantine,
“Laid at the breast of the Divine?
“Does it confound thee,—this first page
“Emblazoning man’s heritage?—
“Can this alone absorb thy sight,
“As if they were not infinite,—
“Like the omnipotence which tasks
“Itself, to furnish all that asks
The soul it means to satiate?
“What was the world, the starry state
“Of the broad skies,—what, all displays
“Of power and beauty intermixed,
“Which now thy soul is chained betwixt,—
“What, else, than needful furniture
“For life’s first stage? God’s work, be sure,
“No more spreads wasted, than falls scant:
“He filled, did not exceed, Man’s want
“Of beauty in this life. And pass
Life’s line,—and what has earth to do,
“Its utmost beauty’s appanage,
“With the requirements of next stage?
“Did God pronounce earth ‘very good’?
“Needs must it be, while understood
“For man’s preparatory state;
“Nothing to heighten nor abate:
But transfer the completeness here,
To serve a new state’s use,—and drear
“Deficiency gapes every side!
The good, tried once, were bad, retried.
“See the enwrapping rocky niche,
“Sufficient for the sleep, in which
The lizard breathes for ages safe:
“Split the mould—and as this would chafe
The creature’s new world-widened sense,
“One minute after you dispense
The thousand sounds and sights that broke
“In, on him, at the chisel’s stroke,—
“So, in God’s eyes, the earth’s first stuff
Was, neither more nor less, enough
To house man’s soul, man’s need fulfil.
You reckoned it immeasurable:
“So thinks the lizard of his vault!
“Could God be taken in default,
“Short of contrivances, by you,—
“Or reached, ere ready to pursue
“His progress through eternity?
“That chambered rock, the lizard’s world,
“Your easy mallet’s blow has hurled
To nothingness for ever; so,
“Has God abolished at a blow
“This world, wherein his saints were pent,—
“Who, though, found grateful and content,
“With the provision there, as thou,
“Yet knew He would not disallow
“Their spirit’s hunger, felt as well,—
“Unsated,—not unsatable,
“As Paradise gives proof. Deride
“Their choice now, thou who sit’st outside!”

XXVII.
I cried in anguish, ‘Mind, the mind,
‘So miserably cast behind,
To gain what had been wisely lost!
‘Oh, let me strive to make the most
‘Of the poor stinted soul, I nipped
‘Of budding wings, else well equipt
‘For voyage from summer isle to isle!
And though she needs must reconcile
‘Ambition to the life on ground,
‘Still, I can profit by late found
But precious knowledge. Mind is best—
‘I will seize mind, forego the rest
And try how far my tethered strength
‘May crawl in this poor breadth and length.
‘—Let me, since I can fly no more,
‘At least spin dervish-like about
‘(Till giddy rapture almost doubt
‘I fly) through circling sciences,
‘Philosophies and histories!
‘Should the whirl slacken there, then Verse,
‘Fining to music, shall asperse
‘Fresh and fresh fire-dew, till I strain
‘Intoxicate, half-break my chain!
‘Not joyless, though more favoured feet
‘Stand calm, where I want wings to beat
The floor? At least earth’s bond is broke!”

XXVIII.
Then, (sickening even while I spoke
Let me alone! No answer, pray,
To this! I know what Thou wilt say
‘All still is earth’s,—to Know, as much
‘As Feel its truths, which if we touch
‘With sense or apprehend in soul,
‘What matter? I have reached the goal—
‘“Whereto does Knowledge serve!” will burn
My eyes, too sure, at every turn!
‘I cannot look back now, nor stake
‘Bliss on the race, for running’s sake.
The goal’s a ruin like the rest!’—
—“And so much worse thy latter quest,
(Added the Voice) “that even on earth
“Whenever, in man’s soul, had birth
“Those intuitions, grasps of guess,
“That pull the more into the less,
“Making the finite comprehend
“Infinity, the bard would spend
Such praise alone, upon his craft,
“As, when wind-lyres obey the waft,
“Goes to the craftsman who arranged
The seven strings, changed them and rechanged—
“Knowing it was the South that harped.
“He felt his song, in singing, warped,
“Distinguished his and God’s part: whence
A world of spirit as of sense
Was plain to him, yet not too plain,
“Which he could traverse, not remain
A guest in:—else were permanent
“Heaven upon earth, its gleams were meant
To sting with hunger for the light,—
“Made visible in Verse, despite
The veiling weakness,-truth by means
“Of fable, showing while it screens,—
“Since highest truth, man e’er supplied,
Was ever fable on outside.
Such gleams made bright the earth an age;
“Now, the whole sum’s his heritage!
“Take up thy world, it is allowed,
“Thou who hast entered in the cloud!

XXIX.
Then I—‘Behold, my spirit bleeds,
‘Catches no more at broken reeds,—
But lilies flower those reeds above—
‘I let the world go, and take love!
‘Love survives in me, albeit those
‘I loved are henceforth masks and shows,
‘Not loving men and women: still
‘I mind how love repaired all ill,
‘Cured wrong, soothed grief, made earth amends
‘With parents, brothers, children, friends!
‘Some semblance of a woman yet
‘With eyes to help me to forget,
‘Shall live with me; and I will match
‘Departed love with love, attach
‘Its fragments to my whole, nor scorn
‘Tho poorest of the grains of corn
‘I save from shipwreck on this isle,
‘Trusting its barrenness may smile
‘With happy foodful green one day,
‘More precious for the pains. I pray,
‘For love, then, only!’

XXX.
At the word,
The Form, I looked to have been stirred
With pity and approval, rose
O’er me, as when the headsman throws
Axe over shoulder to make end—
I fell prone, letting Him expend
His wrath, while, thus, the inflicting Voice
Smote me. “Is this thy final choice?
Love is the best? ’Tis somewhat late!
And all thou dost enumerate
“Of power and beauty in the world,
The mightiness of love was curled
“Inextricably round about.
“Love lay within it and without,
To clasp thee,—but in vain! Thy soul
“Still shrunk from Him who made the whole,
“Still set deliberate aside
“His love!—Now take love! Well betide
“Thy tardy conscience! Haste to take
The show of love for the name’s sake,
“Remembering every moment Who
“Reside creating thee unto
“These ends, and these for thee, was said
To undergo death in thy stead
“In flesh like thine: so ran the tale.
“What doubt in thee could countervail
“Belief in it? Upon the ground
“‘That in the story had been found
“‘Too much love? How could God love so?’
“He who in all his works below
“Adapted to the needs of man,
“Made love the basis of the plan,—
“Did love, as was demonstrated:
“While man, who was so fit instead,
To hate, as every day gave proof,—
You thought man, for his kind’s behoof,
“Both could and would invent that scheme
“Of perfect love—’twould well beseem
“Cain’s nature thou wast wont to praise,
“Not tally with God’s usual ways!”

XXXI.
And I cowered deprecatingly—
‘Thou Love of God! Or let me die,
‘Or grant what shall seem Heaven almost!
Let me not know that all is lost,
‘Though lost it be—leave me not tied
To this despair, this corpse-like bride!
Let that old life seem mine—no more—
‘With limitation as before,
‘With darkness, hunger, toil, distress:
Be all the earth a wilderness!
‘Only let me go on, go on,
‘Still hoping ever and anon
To reach one eve the Better Land!’

XXXII.
Then did the Form expand, expand—
I knew Him through the dread disguise,
As the whole God within his eyes
Embraced me.

XXXIII.
When I lived again,
The day was breaking,—the grey plain
I rose from, silvered thick with dew.
Was this a vision? False or true?
Since then, three varied years are spent,
And commonly my mind is bent
To think it was a dream—be sure
A mere dream and distemperature—
The last day’s watching: then the night,—
The shock of that strange Northern Light
Set my head swimming, bred in me
A dream. And so I live, you see,
Go through the world, try, prove, reject,
Prefer, still struggling to effect
My warfare; happy that I can
Be crossed and thwarted as a man,
Not left in God’s contempt apart,
With ghastly smooth life, dead at heart,
Tame in earth’s paddock as her prize.
Thank God she still each method tries
To catch me, who may yet escape,
She knows, the fiend in angel’s shape!
Thank God, no paradise stands barred
To entry, and I find it hard
To be a Christian, as I said!
Still every now and then my head
Raised glad, sinks mournful—all grows drear
Spite of the sunshine, while I fear
And think, ‘How dreadful to be grudged
‘No ease henceforth, as one that’s judged,
‘Condemned to earth for ever, shut
‘From Heaven’ . .
But Easter-Day breaks! But
Christ rises! Mercy every way
Is infinite,—and who can say?

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In Another Life

If my loving you
Could change the river's flow
I would not let you drift away from me
I'd never let you go

I want to be by your side
But the water's too deep and wide

In another life
In another place
I'd have held you close
I'd have known your grace

In another world
In another time
You'd be mine
You'd be mine

If I touch you now
I'd only lose my mind
Ooh

song performed by Jennifer Love Hewitt from Let's Go BangReport problemRelated quotes
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Too Bad, It's Just An Illusion

Stars. Dost thou truthfully think they exist?
Oh please.

They are an illusion, just like the rest of this pathetic world.
In the end, all fades into grey nothingness.
There is no black, no white.
No day or night.
You think yourself experienced?
You think you aren't naive?
If you truly believe in Stars, you are.
Look! Make thine eyes believe they smile at you.
But know it's all a lie!

Forsooth, all of it is fake.
True light comes from one Source, but the eyes of imagined wights cannot see it.
Too bad, you almost had a hope too.

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