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There was once a lad from Nairobi
who had a very queer hobby
he'd dress up like a bat,
sometimes, as a cat
I blame the movies - said his mommy.

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Cameron

Cameron the cat would never miss a trick –
Often in the garden on patrol.
Otherwise sleeping, though frequently meeting
His one and only love – that earthen bowl!

Cameron the cat took everything for granted -
Sure, the street lay under his control.
Contentedly snoozing – perhaps he 'd been boozing –
And toasting all that counts: his dearest bowl!

Cameron the cat would seek to take advantage –
His gullible owners often on parole.
Purring pathetically, and almost poetically,
He'd meow them into stacking up his bowl!

Cameron the cat was nonetheless a gem –
His owners saw him as their heart and soul,
But having to accept that he was so adept
At persuading them to fill his flipping bowl!

Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009


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What The Deal

Yeah yeah ohh ooehhh

[Verse One] - [Shawn ]
Incredible...
From your legs up to your mouth you look so edible
Don't have to speak your spirit it's just legible
And when you lick your lips I swear girl I go medical
Let the mystery unfold

[Chorus: ]
What the deal mommy
Can you make a deal
Let me show you mommy
That my love is for real
Got the goods baby
Make you wanna reveal your heart (yeahey yeahey)
So let me feel mommy
'Cause I got what you need
Girl I want you (yeaheeyhh yeaheeyhh)
Really close to me
Girl I promise
We will never be apart

[Verse Two] - [Nate ]
Naaauuhhh....
Paradise
Tonight I'll take you there
Lay back and close your eyes
I'll make this loving hurt so good
But you won't wanna cry
So let me put my love inside you
Make you tremble ever so
Gently baby don't let go

[Chorus ]
I want you feel mommy
Can you make the deal (uuohhh)
Let me show mommy
That my love is for real (uuohhh)
Got the goods baby (...yeaahh)
Make you wanna reveal your heart (make you wanna reveal your heart...)
So let me feel mommy
'Cause I got what you need
Girl I want you (girl I want you)
Really close to me (so bad...)
Girl I promise (ohh yeah)
We will never be apart (uuueeeyhhh...)
I want you feel mommy
Can you make the deal (ooehhh)
Let me show mommy

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The Nairobi Affair

For the love of the African Nature
The eloquence of the eastern Swahili
The springs in the mountains,
Hot water, geysers of nature
Should we go and explore

Me and my love in Nairobi
Walking the roads towards Mombasa,
The diversity we witness,
Mgini, we enter the hot towns
Alipoteleya, the adventures so great
Nairobi, so we shall wed

Mgini Nairobi, lovers under the sun
The safari of two love birds,
Seeing the winds passover
Having lunch with the Loi,
Dinner with the Gikuyu
Lovers in Nairobi are we,
Naomba Nairobi, me and you yes

Lets build a house my love,
Nyumbani, Kenya we wont leave
We are lovers in Nairobi,
The beauty of Africa we witness,
Its taste wont despair,
Seeing Africa in Kenya
Come along my lover,
In Nairobi lets make babies,
We are lovers in Nairobi

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Mommy & Daddy

Ask your mommy and daddy, what happened to the indian?
How come theyre all living in places
With too much snow or too much sand?
Tell your mommy, I got a funny feeling deep inside of me
Ask your daddy, is it really as bad as people make it seem?
Wa ta tick it ta too too..
Ask your mommy why everybody swallows all those little pills
Ask your daddy why that soldier doesnt care who he kills
After theyve put you to sleep and tucked you safely down in your bed
Whisper, mommy and daddy would you rather that
I learned it from my friends, instead?
Do you think Im to young to know, to see, to feel, or hear
My questions need an answer or a vaccuum will appear
Dont be surprised if they turn and walk away
And tell your mommy and daddy that you love them anyway
That you love them anyway...
Give them a kiss
Love will set you free
Kings of emi
Mommy and daddy (alt.)
Ask your mommy and daddy, what happened to the indian?
Ask your mommy and daddy to tell you where you really came from
Then mommy and daddy will probably turn and quickly walk away
Then ask your mommy and daddy who really killed j.f.k
Wa ta tick it ta too too...
Ask your mommy if she really gets off on all her - all her pills
Ask your daddy, why doesnt that soldier care who he kills?
After theyve put you to sleep and tucked you safely down in your bed
Whisper mommy and daddy,
Would it matter if the bullet went through my head?
If it was my blood spilling on the kitchen floor
If it was my blood, mommy, would you care a little more?
Dont be surprised when they turn and start to cry
And tell your mommy and daddy, tell your mommy and daddy
Scream it to your mommy and daddy
Theyre living in a lie, a lie, a lie
Its all a lie, a lie, a lie
A lie, a lie...

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Cat and Bat's Revenge

The day the cat
and the bat
ate the rat
'Now peace b'coz we don't need to fight
for the rat'
said the cat.
'OK.' said the bat who hanging upside down on the wall
his shadow looking grand and tall
but the rats of the other world were scared
b'coz one of them read
the agreement
now the fastest mouse made a plan
to cut the wires of the fan
so it fell on the cat,
but the bat
took the rat and ate all his fat
the rats were frightened
so they sent another robotic rat
to outwit the bat and cat
now the plan was ready
and it was also fine
but unluckily came the bad pine
of the tree
which always helped the cat and the bat flee
from the rats net
which would always fail b'coz of the bat's friend the pine tree
who would help them see
the wicked plans of the rats
and tell them to all the bats
oh poor rats
getting all eaten up by cats(and bats)
then came the wisest rat sniper the 'sniper'
he went and cut the tree
and didn’t let the cat
and the bat flee
he threw a pan
on the fan
which hit the cat
and the bat
on thier heads
so now they are saved
from the cat
and bat
but now what?
here comes a rat
who's on the side of the cat
and the bat
the wisest mouse got him in the team again and put him to deep
sleep
so the cat and the bat

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Breed Pigeon Lofts

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Bonnie Cat

Bonnie cat o!
Bonnie cat... don't go away
Bonnie cat look! you make funny bunny crying,
Bonnie cat see it is cold and will not you
come and have me sleep in your warmth
Bonnie cat will not we play the strings of a piano together
one which made the days of summer like a swallow bird
humming into the chilly wintry nights in the command of a nightingale
Bonnie cat o!

Bonnie cat o!
Bonnie cat look i have carrot soup for you
Shall not we chase and try to fly like those duffy ducks
they now bully me bonnie cat
Bunny is so scored without you
Shall not we play in the sunshine meadows
and steal milk from the chocolate hut
Shall not you tell me again to run and get you the rainbow past you
Shall not we see the fountains emerge again and quench our thirst
Bonnie cat o!

Bonnie cat o!
Bonnie cat see our life lacks subtlety
without our sinewy power of bonding
Bonnie cat o bonnie cat!
Don't leave me for a panjandrum center
in your heart...cavort back dear!
See the bunny too have fish and chips for you
Flesh for your heart and not syringes made of bones
And heart for your flesh never ever in the mesh of bandages
Bonnie cat will not you come as Latin song
in satin clothes for my prayer's christmas gift
Bonnie cat o!

Bonnie cat o!
Bonnie cat look you made funny bunny no more irascible
In your zany droplets of fear which in i grew up
Bonnie cat without you i am lost in the turbine
where noxious gases take my breath away
It now stings like an urchin and groans like a swine
Is not it you testing my patience bonnie cat
Tell me bonnie cat don't walk away
Word does make an image of fascination
but pain does not when i convey am really in
Bonnie cat...
my sweet bonnie cat
Bonnie cat o!

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I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

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What Children Worry About

Mommy

Mommy, mommy
what’s going on in the world today?
Mommy am I going to be OK?
I heard some kids were wearing bombs
and blowing people up..
Mommy their world is very far away.
They can’t come here, right mommy?
Am I going to be OK.

Written: July 17,2007

Daddy

Daddy, daddy

I asked mommy some questions yesterday,
and tears were in her eyes.
She’s really scared daddy,
I know the reason why.
The kids with bombs,
might be here in our schools.
They won’t listen to the rules.
Mommy is really scared that one day,
you’ll both have no choice but to send me away

Written: July 17,2007


Mommy, Daddy

Mommy, Daddy, there’s no reason to fear
I figured it out late last night.
I said the words for God to hear.
I know He knows all things
and will do what’s right,
sooo… we say the words for God to hear,
everyday and every night.
Guess what Mommy, Daddy
everything will be alright.
Mommy, why are you still crying? ? ?

Written: July 17,2007

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Detroit Medley

Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on
Fe, fe, fi, fi, fo, fo, fum
Look at Molly now, here she come
Wearin' a wig, hat, shades to match
High healed sneakers and an aligator hat
Wearin' her diamons, wearin' a big ring
She got rasors on her fingers and everything
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on
Wearin' her perfume, Chanel number five
Got to be the finest looking woman alive
She looks so pretty every time she walks by
The boys are too nervous, even to say hi
Not too skinny, not too fat
She's a real humdinger and I like it like that
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on
Good golly Miss Molly, sure like to ball
Good golly Miss Molly, sure like to ball
When you're rockin' and rollin'
Don't you hear your mama call
From the early, early morning to the early, early night
See Miss Molly rockin' in the house of blue light
Good golly Miss Molly, sure like to ball
When you're rockin' and rollin'
Don't you hear your mama call
Well c., c.c. rider
Come on see just what you've done
Well I said c., c.c. rider
Come on see just what you've done
You made me loving you
And now, now, now your man has come
Well now I'm goin' c.c. rider
Goin' to see my baby c.c. rider
And I won't be back c.c. rider
B

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The Singing Bat

A bird was caught inside a trap
which closed its claws with a loud snap.
The snap was heard by Fritz the cat
who had been stalking a young bat.

The bat was hanging from a tree
had wrapped around a twig his knee.
'AHA', the cat now saw the bird
it was a finch, and it occurred

to Fritz the cat that here was food
enough to lift a feline's mood.
He'd eat the bird right in the trap
and afterward take a short nap.

The finch had lifted up his wing
and, full of love, began to sing.
He figured if this day meant death
he'd entertain with his last breath.

The cat was just about to eat
when that sweet voice, now in defeat,
sang, in e-flat the Lorelei
and Fritz the cat began to cry.

And if you know a thing or two
perhaps from visits to the Zoo:
A cat can either eat or cry,
not both. And trapped birds cannot fly.

The bat, who had observed the drama
in upside-down-like panorama,
approached because this tearful issue
required help and Kleenex tissue.

The closest thing to tissue though
is bat-wing skin and if you blow
across the tears toward the wing
a bat will likely start to sing.

And, right away, that's what transpired,
the bat sang loudly. And inspired
the cat to see him as a meal,
complete with musical appeal.

The bat soon sang of Mother Goose,
predictably, tied his own noose.
Was eaten by the hungry cat,
it's Nature's way when cat eats bat.

[...] Read more

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My Cat

Cool cat
Good cat
Pussy cat

When I see him walking
Makes no sense to me
My cat is everywhere
We watch him on TV

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat
Cool cat

My cat is everywhere
Sees what he can see
He may not be an actor
He acts atrociously

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat isn't crazy
He's everything to me
My cat burns the bible
And he thinks it's so funny

He isn't very good
He isn't very smart
He may not be Picasso
But he is a work of art

Hates me as much as I hate you

My cat
Cool cat
Good cat
Pussy cat

When I see him walking
Makes no sense to me
My cat is everywhere
We watch him on TV

My cat is amazing

[...] Read more

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The Fable of 'Belling the Cat', Modern Version

Five judges at a cat show
were in a conference room
when the lights went out.

The cat being judged
was coal black and
only could be seen
when it opened its eyes,
and of course the cat was asleep.

While waiting for the lights to come on,
the conversation turned to nutrition
and as most cat show judges
must have another occupation,
it turned out that each
considered himself and herself
an authority on diet for humans.

Such it was that the cat and nutrition
became the subject of discussion
because nutrition is not unlike
a black cat in a dark room.

The judges were sure
that the cat must be found and caught
before someone opened the door,
and it escaped.
If only it had a bell attached to its collar,
How much easier it would be.

The first judge,
a Health Food Faddist, said,
'I see it.
Having particularly acute eyesight
because of my diet
of carrots and carrot juice,
I will tell you where the cat is
and someone can easily
catch and hold it.
There by the table end is the cat.'
Alas, because no one else could see,
the first one to attempt to catch the cat,
tripped over a chair and
the cat raced about the room and
Found a new place to hide.

'It's just like you all
to dismiss the value of natural foods,
see what it has gained you.'
With that the Food Faddist

[...] Read more

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An Unborn Child's Poem

Today my life began, but some say I’m not a real person yet,
Yes they say only Mommy exist, because me they have not yet met.

But just like a small crumb of bread is yet truly a bread,
My Mommy is and so am I, so they once in the Bible have read.

Yes for even when I was made in secret,
God saw even the embryo of me,
In a fear-inspiring way, I am wonderfully made,
even now to be.

Just think in a year or so, I shall be laughing and later talking,
Mommy and Daddy will be the first to see me walking.

Only 20 days, but my heart is beating on its own,
Gently beating, whispers of a lovely tone.

I am to be a girl, with blond hair and blue eyes,
I am growing a bit every day, and becoming very wise.

I want to learn to sing and dance,
To giggle and love at every chance.

To make Mommy and Daddy very proud of me,
When I become a young lady to be.

When I graduate, I want to be an artist or maybe even a scientist,
I know Mommy would support me, even if I pick another one on my list.

Tup-tup, tup-tup, are you listening Mommy to the whispers of my heart,
Suddenly today I feel differently on my part.

I scream with silent tears, “No Mommy I’m not ready to come on out,
I wonder if she hears my little shout.

I love you Mommy, I need more time to be with you,
I love you Mommy, Do you love me too.

I want to get married, and have my own kids to love and to hold,
To treat you nice and take care of you when you and I grow old.

My hopes and dreams disappeared in a instant and suddenly without a thought,
Mommy did not stop to think how very hard for my life I did fought.

Yes today I took my last little breath, never to have a chance to see,
The possibilities that I can be, Because today was the day that my Mommy killed me!

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Bat Out Of Hell (edit)

The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling,
way down in the valley tonight.
There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye,
and a blade shining oh so bright.
There's evil in the air and there's thunder in sky,
and A killer's on the bloodshot streets.
Oh and down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising,
Oh I swear I saw a young boy down in the gutter,
He was starting to foam in the heat.
Oh baby you're the only thing in this whole world,
that's pure and good and right.
And wherever you are and wherever you go,
there's always gonna be some light.
But I gotta get out,
I gotta break it out now,
Before the final crack of dawn.
So we gotta make the most of our one night together.
When it's over you know,
We'll both be so alone.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone gone gone.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
But when the day is done and the sun goes down,
and the moonlights shining through,
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven,
I'll come crawling on back to you.
I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram,
on a silver black phantom bike.
When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry,
and we're all about to see the light.
Nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole.
Everything is stunted and lost.
And nothing really rocks
And nothing really rolls
And nothing's ever worth the cost.
And I know that I'm damned if I never get out,
And maybe I'm damned if I do,
But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,
You know I'd rather be damned with you.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanns be damned,
dancing through the night with you.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned.
Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned,
Dancing through the night
Dancing through the night

[...] Read more

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Woke Up With A Monster

Words and music by rick nielsen, robin zander and tom petersson
Hush little darling, dont you cry.
Daddys coming home, coming home tonight.
No bed of roses for your head, for you.
You see no future, its all in the past.
This is a nightmare, wont be your last.
Its hard to admit, its hard to admit youre that blind.
Mommy and daddy dont see eye to eye.
Mommy and daddy dont see when we cry.
Mommy and daddy they dont understand.
Whats wrong with this picture, is right in their hands.
Sleeping with an angel. ah.___
Woke up with a monster. ah.___
Sleeping with an angel. ah.___
Woke up with a monster. ah.___
Hush little darling, dont be long.
Mommas little angel cant do nothing wrong.
No bed of roses in your head, for you.
Wholl dry your tear when you cry?
Daddys comin home just in time.
Will, he be the one to make it, to help make it right?
Mommy and daddy dont see eye to eye.
Mommy and daddy make each other cry.
Sleeping with an angel. ah.___
Woke up with a monster. ah.___
Sleeping with an angel. ah.___
Woke up with a monster. ah.___
Not sleeping with an angel. ah.___
Not sleeping with an angel. ah.___
Mommy and daddy dont see eye to eye.
Mommy and daddy dont hear when we cry.
Mommy and daddy dont see eye to eye.
Mommy and daddy dont see when we cry.
Mommy and daddy they dont understand.
Whats wrong with this picture, is right in their hands.
Sleeping with an angel. ah.___
Woke up with a monster. ah.___
(repeat 2x)
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, ow.

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Robert Graves

A Child's Nightmare

Through long nursery nights he stood
By my bed unwearying,
Loomed gigantic, formless, queer,
Purring in my haunted ear
That same hideous nightmare thing,
Talking, as he lapped my blood,
In a voice cruel and flat,
Saying for ever, "Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!..."

That one word was all he said,
That one word through all my sleep,
In monotonous mock despair.
Nonsense may be light as air,
But there's Nonsense that can keep
Horror bristling round the head,
When a voice cruel and flat
Says for ever, "Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!..."

He had faded, he was gone
Years ago with Nursery Land,
When he leapt on me again
From the clank of a night train,
Overpowered me foot and head,
Lapped my blood, while on and on
The old voice cruel and flat
Says for ever, "Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!..."

Morphia drowsed, again I lay
In a crater by High Wood:
He was there with straddling legs,
Staring eyes as big as eggs,
Purring as he lapped my blood,
His black bulk darkening the day,
With a voice cruel and flat,
"Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!..." he said, "Cat! ... Cat!..."

When I'm shot through heart and head,
And there's no choice but to die,
The last word I'll hear, no doubt,
Won't be "Charge!" or "Bomb them out!"
Nor the stretcher-bearer's cry,
"Let that body be, he's dead!"
But a voice cruel and flat
Saying for ever, "Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!"

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How A Naked Mole

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Mommy Why?

**This poem is not about me...it just came out of my head**

Why did they rip your heart out, mommy?
Why did they hate you so much?
Mommy, why didn't they accept you
Mommy why?

Why are you dead mommy?
What did they do?
How did it happen?
Mommy, why did it have to happen to you?

Oh i need to know why
Mommy please come back
Mommy i'm sorry i called you a bitch
Mommy i really don't hate you
Mommy please come back, i need you

(1-15-05)

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De Bat

(carly simon)
Fly in me face
Fly in me face
Fly in me face
Fly in me face
Well i hope de bat don't come out and fly in me face tonight
Well i come home from a party
And i'm feelin' a little spaced
And i walk on in the kitchen and
A bat fly in me face
Well de bat come down the chimney
You see he wait in the fireplace
When he hear that i'm getting a little snack
De bat fly in me face
(chorus)
Fly in me face
Fly in me face
Well i hope de bat he don't come out
And fly in me face tonight
De bat he rat got wings
All the children know that
What i need to know from the lord
Is how you get de wings on the cat
They say a bat's got radar
And he can fly through fan
But what i am afraid of is
That he got another plan
To fly in me face
Fly in me face
(chorus)
Well i hope de bat he don't come out
And fly in me face tonight
Fly in me face
One thing i forgot to tell you about the human race
Everybody get a little upset when a bat fly in they face
Fly in me face
Fly in me face
Well i hope de bat he don't come out
And fly in me face tonight

song performed by Carly SimonReport problemRelated quotes
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