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Jay Mohr

I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.

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Baby Blues

(bth australian version)
I wonder whats happening to me
Things are changing so dramatically
Ill search for you, youre not really there
Still I wonder knowing that you do care
I shut up, I shut up, I shut up, I shut up
I shut up, I shut up, I shut up now
I shut up, I shut up, I shut up, I shut up
I shut up, I shut up, I shut up now
I shut up now, I shut up now
I shut up now, I shut up now
He is the best thing to come my way
Perfect picture baby blues in my day
He is the best thing to come around
Sleeping in his cradle safe and sound
I shut up, I shut up, I shut up, I shut up
I shut up, I shut up, I shut up now
I shut up, I shut up, I shut up, I shut up
I shut up, I shut up, I shut up now
I shut up now, I shut up now
I shut up now, I shut up now
Baby blues, baby blues
Baby blues, baby blues
Baby baby, baby blues
Baby baby, baby blues
Sha la la, sha la la, sha la la, sha la la
Sha la la, sha la la, sha la la, sha la la
Sha la la, sha la la, sha la la, sha la la
Sha la la, sha la la, sha la la, sha la la
Sha la la, sha la la, sha la la, sha la la
Sha la la, sha la la, sha la la, sha la la

song performed by CranberriesReport problemRelated quotes
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Im That Type Of Guy

Youre the type of guy that cant control your girl
You try to buy her love with diamonds and pearls
Im the type of guy that shows up on the scene
And gets the seven digits, you know the routine
Youre the type of guy that tells her, stay inside
While youre steady frontin in your homeboys ride
Im the type of guy that comes when you leave
Im doin your girlfriend, thats somethin you cant believe
Cause Im that type of guy
Youre the type of guy that gets suspicious
Im the type of guy that says, the puddin is delicious
Youre the type of guy that has no idea
That a sneaky, freaky brothers sneakin in from the rear
Im the type of guy to eat it, when he wont
And look in the places that your boyfriend dont
Youre the type of guy to try to call me a punk
Now knowin that your main girls bitin my chunk
Im the type of guy that loves a dedicated lady
Their boyfriends are borin, and I can drive em crazy
Youre the type of guy to give her money to shop
She gave me a sweater _kiss_ thank you, sweetheart
Im that type of guy
Im the type of guy that picks her up from work early
Takes her to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and breakfast
Youre the type of guy eatin a tv dinner
Talkin about... goddamn it, ima kill her
Im the type of guy to make her say, why youre illin, bee?
...youre the type of guy to say, my lower back is killin me
...catch my drift?
Youre the type of guy that likes to drink olde english
Im the type of guy to cold put on a pamper
Youre the type of guy to say, what you talkin bout?
Im the type of guy to leave my drawers in your hamper
Im that type of guy
Im that type of guy
You know what I mean?
Check it out...
T-y-p-e g-u-y
Im that type of guy to give you a pound and wink my eye
Like a bandit, caught me redhanded, took her for granted
But when I screwed her, you couldnt understand it
Cause youre the type of guy that dont know the time
Swearin up and down, that girls all mine
Im the type of guy to let you keep believin it
Go head to work, while I defrost it, and season it
Im that type of guy
Im that type of guy
Know what I mean
Im that type of guy
So ridiculous

[...] Read more

song performed by LL Cool JReport problemRelated quotes
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Average Guy

I aint no christian or no born again saint
I aint no cowboy or marxist d.a.
I aint no criminal or reverend cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do whats right
Im just your average guy
An average guy
I am just your average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy, Im just your average guy
Im average looking and Im average inside
Im an average lover and I live in an average place
You wouldnt know me if you met me face to face
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my livers big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
And the crime waves in the street
Im really just your average guy
Trying to stand on his own two feet
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average looks, average taste
Average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
My temperature is 98.2
Im just your average guy
An average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average

song performed by Lou ReedReport problemRelated quotes
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ACT: Goodbye

Girl: Goodbye
I always want to say it in front of you
Goodbye
And there would be no more “I love you”
Goodbye
But why though I really meant to
The pain is still haunting my soul

Guy: Goodbye
You don’t know there’s a mystery inside
Goodbye
You are a fool to quickly decide
Goodbye
When you say something you don’t want to
It will affect you most with regret

Girl: Goodbye means leaving
Guy: Goodbye means nothing
Girl: Goodbye means releasing
Guy: Goodbye means waiting

Girl: And will you forget me after
Guy: Or will I love you forever
Girl: And how if I miss you in the lonely night
Guy: I will torture you to see my face

Girl: It’s over!
Guy: Not yet
Girl: Why are you so stubborn?
Guy: Because you make it complicated
Girl: But there’s no future for us
Guy: There’s always a hope

Girl: Goodbye
I will definitely cry
Goodbye
But the tears are not going to show
Goodbye
I don’t ask to be forgiven
Because I’m the one who put this misery

Guy: Goodbye
You can’t beat me with just that
Goodbye
Don’t judge me because I have the power of
Goodbye
Though I let my beloved go
Someday I’ll bring you to my arm again

Girl: Goodbye means separate

[...] Read more

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X-Ecutioner Style (feat. Black Thought)

(feat. Black Thought)
From the top
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up when Im talking to you
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Im about to br
Wasnt that fun?
Lets try something else
Forty-five calibre killer from out of the filler
Definitely going to show yall brothers how you not a gorilla
Smooth talking, fully automatic weapon concealer
Taste thriller, break thriller
Lets hit em with the bounce filler
Filthy stinking, standing on solid ground
And still be sinking, submerging in the parks
Still be linking, plucked beef when it starts
To f**k your thinking, its not a mirage
Im in the motherf**king track, yo, from out the garage
With an if, you to duck, but its hard to dodge
In the back of the spine where my dawgs, they lie
Going to flip it straight up, ripping apart your squad
X-ecutioner style, cuts and blends like a syringe
Hanging you from each of your limbs
See me coming through the party hard without no bodyguard
Smoking something, stomping on each of you Tims
Im the B-to-the-L, the A, the C, King
And when it comes to planning
The thought to keep thinking, man
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up

song performed by Linkin ParkReport problemRelated quotes
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Look At That Guy

Just look at that guy, He seem so happy

Look at that guy, He seem so free
Look at that guy, Just looking at me

Look at that guy, I wish I looked as good as him

Just look at that guy, Man he dress so good

Look at that guy, I bet all the girls like him
Look at that guy, How can I be more like him

Look at that guy, He's the real hero
Just look at that guy, probably thinks im a zero

Look at that guy, I hope he's not judging me
Look at that guy, being all he can be

Look at that guy, fighting for a cause
Just look at that guy, making me pause

Look at that guy, He probably thinks im stupid
Look at that guy, His friend must be cupid

Look at that guy, looking like a thug
Just look at that guy, he looks full of love

Look at that guy, He needs no correction
Look at that guy, do we have any connection
Oh my god, that guy I see Is my own reflection....

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Where There's Smoke, There's Failure

So it goes like this,
Guy meets girl.
Guy buys flowers.
Girl puts them in a vase.
Guy buys a ring.
Girl says yes.
Guy goes to work.
Girl goes to work.
Guy meets girl.
Girl meets guy.
Guy and girl fight about girl and guy.
Guy leaves work for new work and gets an apartment by himself.
Girl moves over seas and doesn't have to work any more because she has a new guy and the old guy has to send her money from his new work.

Guy writes poems.
Guy writes about new girl and old girl and new guy and work and old friends.
Guy wants to stop working and sell poems about the stuff in his life so that he can do other stuff in his life without having to go to real work.
Guy does not yet have high selling collection of poems.
Guy goes to work.
Guy meets girl.
Guy buys flowers.

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Shut Down

Tach it up, tach it up
Buddy gonna shut you down
It happened on the strip where the road is wide
Two cool sharps standin side by side
Yeah, my fuel injected stingray and a four-thirteen
Were revvin up our engines and it sounds real mean
Tach it up, tach it up
Buddy gonna shut you down
Declinin numbers at an even rate
At the count of one we both accelerate
My stingray is light the slicks are startin to spin
But the four-thirteens really diggen in
Gotta be cool now power shift here we go
Superstock dodge is winding out in low
But my fuel injected stingrays really startin to go
Im gettin the traction Im ridin the clutch
My pressure plates burnin that machines too much
Pedals to the floor hear the dual quads drink
And now the four-thirteens lead is startin to shrink
Hes powered by ram induction but its understood
I got a fuel injected engine sittin under my hood
Shut it off, shut it off buddy now I shut you down
Shut it off, shut it off buddy now I shut you down
Shut it off, shut it off buddy now I shut you down
Shut it off, shut it off buddy now I shut you down

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Like A Guitar Solo Scream

Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wahhh!

'Go bottled that up.
And keep your mouth shut!
Go bottled that up.
And keep your mouth shut!
Go bottled that up.
And keep your mouth shut!
Go bottled that...
Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wahhh! '

Oh some people,
With their mouths shut.
Just look through peepholes,
With their mouths shut.
And keep their feelings,
Bottled up!

Some...
People,
With their mouths shut.
Just look through peepholes,
With their mouths shut.
And keep their feelings,
Bottled up!
While others love to stir up stuff.

And then there's people...
Who love to fuss.
And then there's people...
Who love to anger.
And...
Love they do to fist-i-cuff.
And love they do to rush cuss.
Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wahhh!

Ohhhh...
Some people,
With their mouths shut.
Just look through peepholes,
With their mouths shut.
And keep their feelings,
Bottled up!
While others love to stir up stuff.
But not you,
You want to be heard...
Like a soloist with nerve.
Wah-wah-wah.

You want to be heard...

[...] Read more

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Such A Groovy Guy

I got my alligator boots I wear my pants skin tight
I wear my dark sunglasses in the middle of the night
And when I look in the mirror im-a such an awesome sight
It makes me wanna kneel down and pray
Im so charming and adorable Im sure that you can see
And everyones always trying to hang around with me
They tell me Im the greatest and its hard to disagree
cause Im so perfect in every way
And Im so cute I can hardly stand it
And Im so handsome honey I could just die
I know that youll never be as wonderful as me but at least you can try
cause Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy
Baby are you in the mood for a little romance?
Well for starters I can pour some chocolate pudding down your pants
And then attatch electrodes to your brain and watch you dance
Oh, golly wouldnt that be fun?
And then I might decide to tie you up with dental floss
Ill make you wear a harness and Ill show you whos the boss
Of course if you refuse, well honey its your loss
I mean I dont do this with just anyone.
So how can you say its all over?
So how can you tell me goodbye?
So now you tell me that youre leaving me for good
And all I wanna know is why
I mean after all Im really such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy
I mean you could do worse!
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Such a groovy groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
(to fade)

song performed by Weird Al YankovicReport problemRelated quotes
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Guy and Amarant

Guy journeyes towards that sanctifyed ground
Whereas the Jewes fayre citye sometime stood,
Wherin our Saviours sacred head was crownd,
And where for sinfull man he shed his blood.
To see the sepulcher was his intent,
The tombe that Joseph unto Jesus lent.

With tedious miles he tyred his wearye feet,
And passed desart places full of danger;
At last with a most woefull wight did meet,
A man that unto sorrow was noe stranger.
For he had fifteen sonnes made captives all
To slavish bondage, in extremest thrall.

A gyant called Amarant detaind them,
Whom noe man durst encounter for his strength,
Who, in a castle which he held, had chaind them.
Guy questions where, and understands at length
The place not farr. - 'Lend me thy sword,' quoth hee;
'Ile lend my manhood all thy sonnes to free.'

With that he goes and lays upon the dore
Like one that sayes, I must and will come in.
The gyant never was soe rowz'd before,
For noe such knocking at his gate had bin;
Soe takes his keyes and clubb, and cometh out,
Staring with ireful countenance about.

'Sirra,' quoth hee, 'what busines hast thou heere?
Art come to feast the crowes about my walls?
Didst never heare noe ransome can him cleere
That in the compasse of my furye falls?
For making me to take a porters paines,
With this same clubb I will dash out thy braines.'

'Gyant,' quoth Guy, 'y'are quarrelsome, I see;
Choller and you seem very neere of kin;
Most dangerous at the clubb belike you bee;
I have bin better armd, though nowe goe thin.
But shew thy utmost hate, enlarge thy spight,
Keene is my weapon, and shall doe me right.'

Soe draws his sword, salutes him with the same
About the head, the shoulders, and the side,
Whilst his erected clubb doth death proclaime,
Standinge with huge Colossus' spacious stride,
Putting such vigour to his knotty beame
That like a furnace he did smoke extreame.

But on the ground he spent his strokes in vaine,

[...] Read more

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Keep On Singin My Song

Oohhh, yeah, oooh huh
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face
& nobodys gonna bring me down today
Been feeling like nothings been going my way lately
So I decided right here and now that my outlooks gotta change
Thats why Im gonna
Say goodbye to all the tears Ive cried
For everytime somebody hurt my pride
Feeling like they wont let me live life
& take the time to look at what is mine
I see every lesson completely
I thank God for what I got from above
I believe they can take anything from me
But they cant succeed in taking my inner peace
They can say all they wanna say about me
But Im gonna carry on
Keep on singing my song
I never wanna dwell on my pain again
Theres no use in reliving how I hurt back then
Remembering all of the hell I felt when I was running out of faith
Every step I vowed to take was towards a better day
Cos Im about to
Say goodbye to every single lie
& all the fears Ive held too long inside
Everytime I felt I could try
All the negativity I had inside
For too long Ive been struggling. I couldnt go on
But now Ive found Im feeling strong and moving on
I believe they can take anything from me
But they cant succeed in taking my inner peace
They can say all they wanna say about me
But Im gonna carry on
Im gonna keep on singing my song
Whoa, & everytime I tried to be what they wanted from me
It never came naturally
So I ended up in misery, wasnt able to see
All the good around me
They wasted so much energy on what they thought of me
Simply just remembering to breathe
Im human, I aint able to please
Everyone at the same time, so now I find
My peace of mind living one day at a time
Im human and I answer to one god
It comes down to one love
Until I get to heave above Ive made the decision
Never to give up
Til the I day I die no matter what Im gonna carry on & keep on singing my song.....
(they cant take anything from me)
I believe that they can do what they wanna.
Say what they wanna say

[...] Read more

song performed by Christina AguileraReport problemRelated quotes
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Get Up. Shut Up. And Move

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

If you want things to improve,
You've got to...
Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

Nobody's living their life for you.
While you sit back,
To approve what they do!

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

Nobody is here to pamper you.
You've been much too spoiled,
And selfish too!

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

Get up.
Shut up,
And move.

[...] Read more

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Under The Weather

I got a pain in my sick brain
Two red eyes and broken veins
I got a hand inside my head
A chainsaw cutting through my bed
I wish that I was still fifteen
Debbie Harry and Steve McQueen
I found the angel in my dream, sucked her dry
and cut her wing
LA foodstore cabinet
Get up, shut up, give me Nurofen Plus
Shut up, it hurts, feel I've been hit by a bus
Get up, shut up, you know you don't understand
I'm feeling under the weather (weather)
From the womb, into school
Changing faces, breaking rules
Circumstances make you bleed
Sew the wounds so you will heal
'Cause there's no substitute for pain
Histrionics, broken frames
Build a fire to thaw my brain
LA foodstore cabinet
Get up, shut up, give me Nurofen Plus
Shut up, it hurts, feel I've been hit by a bus
Get up, shut up, you know you don't understand
I'm feeling under the weather (weather)
I don't know why I do this time and time again
'Cause all my drowning sorrows became my friends
Get up, shut up
Get up, shut up
I got a pain in my sick brain
Two red eyes and broken veins
I got a hand inside my head
A chainsaw cutting through my bed
Yeah, I got a pain in my sick brain
Two red eyes and broken veins
I got a hand inside my head
LA foodstore cabinet
Get up, shut up, give me Nurofen Plus
Shut up, it hurts, feel I've been hit by a bus
Get up, shut up, you know you don't understand
I'm feeling under the weather (weather)
I got a pain in my sick brain
Two red eyes and broken veins
I got a hand inside my head
A chainsaw cutting through my bed
I got a pain in my sick brain
Two red eyes and broken veins
I got a hand inside my head
A chainsaw cutting through my bed

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Shut Up

You say,
I should do it differently.
I dont,
Necessarily agree.
Stand up!
Sit down!
Be nice!
Did ya hear me ask for your advice?
Dont bother,
Trying to tell me your beliefs.
Dont want to,
Know which way its good to be.
Do this!
Do that!
On track!
Do me a favor and dont talk back!
Round and round,
But the conversation always ends where it began.
Round and round,
And I need a vacation.
My god,
Ive had it from you!
Shut up!
Dont want to hear your voice.
Shut up!
Im sick of all the noise.
Theres nothing you can say to me,
So get away from me.
Shut up!
Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah.
Thats what,
It sounds like you said to me.
You nag and you brag and I gag,
Theres so much beauty in what we have.
You must,
Have better things that you can do.
Or just,
Love all around me too.
What you want,
What I need.
Oh please!
I think you get off,
On hearing yourself speak.
Round and round,
But the conversation always ends where it began.
Round and round,
And I need a vacation.
My god,
Ive had it from you!
Shut up!

[...] Read more

song performed by Kelly OsbourneReport problemRelated quotes
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Regular Guy

Im the kind of guy a girl takes home to mom
Pleated khaki pants, and cologne thats the bomb
(you sure smell perty)
Shake her dads hand
Look him in the eye
And tell him straight up Im just a regular guy (ill have her home by 9 sir)
Im a regular guy who stays out of trouble( let me get that for you mam)
A regular guy says mam on the double( Im on it)
Im a regular guy just like dawsons creek
A regular guy just dont call me a geek, a geek yeah
But sometimes I remember what got me here
It was friday and cussing
Back off Im in a boy band
And showing no fear
I watch jay leno (hes funny) 7th heaven too
And I ask myself sometimes what would jesus do
Grab me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Im buds with my mom
And I hang out with my dad..hes my buddy
I play everything safe so Ill never be sad (boo hoo)
Im a regular guy who stays out of trouble( let me get that for you mam)
A regular guy says mam on the double( Im on it)
Im a regular guy just like dawsons creek
A regular guy just dont call me a geek, a geek yeah
Dont push me.
Damnt sometimes I wanna smash things up
Jacked up and wrapped upIm in a boy band.. a boyband
And have to pee in a cup
Im a regular guy who stays out of trouble( let me get that for you mam)
A regular guy says mam on the double( Im on it)
Im a regular guy just like dawsons creek
A regular guy just dont call me a geek, a geek yeah

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Big Dumb Guy

So many tech-heads
Recent invasion
I stretch out my long legs
And I kick away the mouse pad, baby
Amazon, eBay, Oracle, he say
He promise a freebee
But he's such a pokey little guy
Wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumping out of the past
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last
Cyberman lights up
But mostly he floppy
Computer man crashes
He's so humpty dumpty, baby
Now he tries this experiment
Though he knows it's so low-tech
He tries patting his forehead
While he's rub, rub, rubbing my stomach, baby
But he can't do it, can he?
No, no he can't do that at all
But wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumbing out of the past
Sure enough, that big dumb guy
Is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last
Big papa bear
Maybe you can remember
It wasn't that long ago
When you dialed a number
You got a living, breathing human being
On the telephone
Don't want nothing to do
But just study the skin on your face
I want to look up at the sky
And watch the sunset
With someone like you
Wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumbing out of the past
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here, he's here
In fact he's brought his
big raccoon coat with him
And he doesn't even know it's
politically incorrect
That big dumb guy is here at last
I see him now walking torward me
Let's get it on with your big bad self
Get it on babe, Get it on babe

[...] Read more

song performed by Carly SimonReport problemRelated quotes
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God Save The South

It was a red hot night night in mobile
Sweat glistened on the reverends chin
His mohair suit was shinin
He told us all about sin
It could be wall to wall in wall street
We could be livin hand to mouth
Jesus loved a yankee
But God saved the south
Across the street in the pool hall
Bubba put the eight ball down
Its a high five celebration
They passed the jack around
Its wall to wall in wall street
Were livin hand to mouth
Jesus loved a yankee
But God saved the south
God saved the south
Yankee boy shut your mouth
Yes, God saved the south
Yankee boy shut your mouth
Shut your mouth
Some long haired boys with guitars
Playin behind the chicken wire
Theyre goin up to new york city
Gonna sing about atlantas fire
It could be wall to wall in wall street
We could be livin hand to mouth
Jesus loved a yankee
But God saved the south
And God saved the south
Yankee boy shut your mouth
Yes, God saved the south
Yankee boy shut your mouth
Yes, God saved the south
Yankee boy shut your mouth
And God saved the south
So,yankee boy shut your mouth
And God saved the south
Yankee boy shut your mouth
Yes, God saved the south
So, yankee boy shut your mouth
God saved the south
So, yankee boy shut your mouth

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Put Up Or Shut Up

Alright
She's got hurricane eyes
And know what she sees
She's got lovin' thighs
And she gets it for free
She makes a cigarette shake
And don't need no advice
She won't put on the breaks
And you feed her device, yeah
She's gonna tease you up and down now
Gonna play for keeps
I said
Put up
Or shut it up now
Put up
Or shut it up
Yeah
Ha!
She's got hounds on her trail
And they follow her scent
She's the kind of female
That don't need no good sense
(She's wild)
She's got a license to thrill
And she shoots from the hip
Takes her power up well
And your passion is sure to drip
And all so packaged move for speed now
When the feeling climbs
I said
Put up
Or shut it up now
(You gotta, gotta)
Put up
Or shut it up
Yeah
Listen
You want a piece of the action
And I don't want to be cheated, no
Gotta feel the connection
She's turning on her feet, yeah!
Oh, here we go
Comin' to getcha babe
Oh yeah
She's got hurricane eyes
And you know what she sees
She's got love in her thighs
And she gives it away for free
She's gonna tease you up and down now
Gonna play for keeps

[...] Read more

song performed by Quiet RiotReport problemRelated quotes
Added by Lucian Velea
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You Made Me Your Shut-In

Why don't you give me a hug,
Or just leave me.
Why don't you give me a hug,
Or just leave me.
Why don't you give me a hug,
Or just leave me.
Leave me be and alone.

Are you the kind to visit shut-ins,
With the ones you've left wounded.
Give me a hug or just leave me.
Or are you the kind who never gets sick of it.

Why don't you give me a hug,
Or just leave me.
Why don't you give me a hug,
Or just leave me.
Why don't you give me a hug,
Or just leave me.
Leave me be and alone.

You made me your shut-in!
Just to visit and leave me.
You made me your shut-in!
Just to visit and leave me.
You made me your shut-in!
You made me your shut-in!
You made me your shut-in!
Just to visit and leave me.
You made me your shut-in!
Just to visit and leave me.
You made me your shut-in!
You made me your shut-in!
You made me your shut-in!

poem by Report problemRelated quotes
Added by Poetry Lover
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