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I still have to audition for most things.

quote by Loretta Devine
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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I hadn't worked for a year when I had my Prison Break audition and it was the easiest audition I've ever had. I got the script on Friday, went to the audition on Monday and got the part on Tuesday. I was shooting the pilot a week later. I didn't have time to be nervous - it happened so quickly.

quote by Wentworth Miller
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Chateau Disaster Tapes

A) scenario
In long years of ancient time, stood alone a friend of mine.
Reflected by the ever-burning sigh of a God who happened by.
And in the dawn, there came the song of some sweet lady singing in his ear.
Your God has gone, and from now on, youll have to learn to hate
The things you fear.
We want to know, are we inside the womb
Of passion plays, and by righteousness consumed?
Or just in lush contentment of our souls?
And so began the age of man.
They left his body in the sand.
Their glasses raised to a God on high
Who smiled upon them from the sky.
So take the stage. spin down the ages. loose the passion.
Spill the rage upon your son who holds the gun up to your head ---
The plays begun.
B) audition
Then god, the director, smells a rat.
Pulls another rabbit from his hat.
Sniffs the air and he says, ''well, thats that --- Im going.
The actors milling helplessly --- the script is blowing out to sea.
But what the hell, we didnt even pass an audition.
The lines youll have to improvise. the words are written in
The eyes of politicians who despise their fathers.
And so the play necessitates that all you boys participate
In fierce competition to eliminate each other.
And groupies, on their way to war,
Get to write the next film score.
But the rock and roll star knows his glory is really nothing.
Men of religion, on the make,
Pledge an oath they undertake to
Make you white for gods own sake, and none other.
While ladies get their bedding done
To win themselves a bouncing son ---
But bad girls do it for the fun of just being.
And me, Im here to sing along,
And Im not concerned with the righting wrongs,
Just asking questions that belong without an answer.
The God is laughing up his sleeve
As he pours himself another cup of tea,
And he waves goodbye to you and me,
At least for now.
C) no rehearsal
Did you learn your lines today? well, there is no rehearsal.
The tickets have all been sold for tomorrows matinee.
Theres a telegram from the writer,
But there is no rehearsal.
The electrician has been told to make the spotlights brighter.
Theres one seat in the circle --- five hundred million in the stalls.
Simply everyone will be there, but the safety curtain falls when

[...] Read more

song performed by Jethro Tull
Added by Lucian Velea
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You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.

quote by Joel McHale
Added by Lucian Velea
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I took a plane from New York City to Los Angeles for an audition. I met all the people. After that, I was told to have another audition, but I didn't want to go there again.

quote by Ed O'Neill
Added by Lucian Velea
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Those I Pick To Audition To Love

So free I am to mingle,
And I don't feel rushed.
Happily I'm single and I like to touch...
Those I pick to audition to love.

I am free to mingle and I I'm freed to touch.
Happily I'm single and I don't feel rushed...
To have somebody in my life to love.
Or...
That perfect one to fit me like a glove.
Or,
To have that special one near me to rub...
My feet.
Or my head.
Or...
My shoulders and my body when I'm laying in bed.
Or...
Listen with intent to every word I've said.

I am happy as a free bird to fly high as a kite!
And spend my days and nights doing the things I like.
Although I wish the telephone would ring.
To hear a voice to me that only sings.
And it's someone I have yet to have met.
With obscenities spoken in a sweet sexy breath.

I like it to be single and easily teased.
Oh I like it when obscenities are spoken to me...
After 8pm,
And I'm about to fall asleep.

Oh yes I like it,
To be single and be easily teased.
Oh I like it,
When obscenities are spoken to me...
After 8pm,
And I'm about to fall asleep.

So free I am to mingle,
And I don't feel rushed.
Happily I'm single and I like to touch...
Those I pick to audition to love.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
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It's hard to maintain a sense of dignity in an audition. I have done so many auditions where I've put it out there and have been met with that kind of blank stare - "Great! Thanks! OK! Great work! Thanks for coming in!" At the door I'm thinking, "What the hell am I doing with my life?"

quote by Ben Stiller
Added by Diana Frone, MTTLC
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My education was doing good plays and also stinkers. When you do a stinker, you learn how to act. I like having to audition. It's nice to do rehearsals. But it's with an audience that you get to love it!

quote by Jeffrey Tambor
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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You need to study and work on your craft. If you're not prepared when that dream audition comes, you are not going to get that opportunity. To me, the definition of success is when opportunity meets preparation. So I really recommend that actors always work on their craft and their skills.

quote by Hilary Swank
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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I didn't have to audition. That's common, but it had never happened to me before. Normally, I hate auditioning. I need to stew and think... let the character develop and grow inside me.

quote by Casey Affleck
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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If you go in and audition for roles rather than just be offered them, then you kind of get a chance to kind of discover that you can do something that you didn't think you could do.

quote by Peter Sarsgaard
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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A Lesson In Love

Nothing is for certain
Thats what the showman said
First you must open the curtain
And standem on their heads
There can be no inhibitions
No prima donna ways
If you want to pass the audition
And times is tough these days
Remember when mr. barnum
Presented jenny lind
They named a candy after her
A circus after him
End of my story
The rest is history
She in all of her glory
He lived quietly
He needed her, she needed him
As sure as the sky above
In a way it was for them
A lesson in love
A lesson in love
You look like the moonglow
That follows me home
Always makes me turn around
Wont leave me alone
First to come are the midgets
A monkey and a kid
Followed by those two one-armed jugglers
The ego and the id
Songs of the season
Apples of the sun
There is no rhyme or reason
Just a time for each and every one
Hang on mr. barnum
Hang on jenny lind
We will meet you in streets of gold
Where eternity begins
We will let it all hangout
Go hand in glove
Live was meant to live and learn
A lesson in love
A lesson in love

song performed by Gordon Lightfoot
Added by Lucian Velea
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Audition

The actors milling helplessly--
The script is blowing out to sea.
But what the hell, we didnt even pass an audition.
The lines youll have to improvise.
The words are written in the eyes
Of politicians who despise their fathers.
And so the play necessitates
That all you boys participate
In fierce competition to eliminate each other.
And groupies, on their way to war,
Get to write the next film score,
But the rock and roll star knows his glory is really nothing.
Men of religion, on the make,
Pledge an oath they undertake
To make you wise for gods own sake, and none other.
While ladies get their bedding done
To win themselves a bouncing son--
But bad girls do it for the fun of just being.
And me, Im here to sing along,
And Im not concerned with righting wrongs,
Just asking questions that belong without an answer.
But God is laughing up his sleeve
As he pours himself another cup of tea,
And he waves good-bye to you and me, at least for now

song performed by Jethro Tull
Added by Lucian Velea
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1-900-ll Cool J

{*phone rings twice*}
Yo.. hello 1-900-ll cool j?
Yeah whassup? can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?
Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey
I motivate, accelerate
Devestate, and dominate
I dont smoke crack so I wont lose weight
Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and Im straight
Go to a resteraunt, give me steak
Then cook my chicken with shakenbake
I leave all the preachin to reverand flake
How much money can one black man make? huh
Im whats known as a true dynamiter
I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
Go with the flow, but no, Im not a biter
Cant compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
Cause youre bitin my lyrics like a nestle crunch, huh
And bitin my rhymes aint slick
I got your gold teeth marks all over my {*phone rings*}
Complications and aggravation
An unnecessary-sation
Im like sunkist, good vibrations
Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
Cool out, grab a seat and listen..
Cause ima start dismissin
Sucker mcs whos out there frontin
Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin
Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasnt loyal
Now its all about chaos and turmoil
.. gimme that microphone
Ima show you the real meaning of the danger zone
{*phone rings*}
Yo.. hello is this 1-900-ll cool j?
Yeah whassup? can you tell me what you do when youre coolin out?
Yo check this out
Now when Im coolin out, no time for a granny
Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
Can ll {*censored*}? man, can he?
I tell you what, give up the fanny
Cause on a bedroom tomb, j swift
Not too big, but nothin to play with
In addition, you on a mission
You need to audition for another position
Doin damage is a crew tradition
Name your next al-blum intermission
Youre full of preservatives -- plus,
Youre too conservative
Im full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre
Theres no competition, for this here

[...] Read more

song performed by LL Cool J
Added by Lucian Velea
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Average Person

Look at the average person
Speak to the man in the street
Can you imagine the first one youd meet?
Well, Im talking to a former engine driver
Trying to find out what he used to do
Tells me that he always kept his engine
Spit and polished up as good as new
But he said his only great ambition
Was to work with lions in a zoo
Oh to work with lions in a zoo
Yes dear, you heard right
Told me his ambition was to work with lions every night
Look at the average person
Speak to the man on the beat
Can you imagine the first one youd meet?
Well, I met a woman working as a waitress
I asked exactly what it was she did
Said she worked the summer crowd at seasides
Winter time she ran away and hid
Once she had a hollywood audition
But the part was given to a kid
Yes,the part was given to a kid
Yes sir, you heard it right
Hollywood ambition made a starlet grown up overnight
Well I bumped into a man whod been a boxer
Asked him what had been his greatest night
He looked into the corners of his memory
Searching for a picture of the fight
But he said he always had a feeling
That he lacked a little extra height
(could have used a little extra height)
Yes mate, you heard right
He always had a feeling that he might have lacked a little height
Look at the average person
Speak to the man in the queue
Can you imagine the first one is you?
Look at the average person.

song performed by Paul McCartney
Added by Lucian Velea
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Get Back

(LennonMcCartney)
[Sweet Loretta Fat thought she was a cleaner but she was a frying pan.]
Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner
But he knew it wouldn't last.
Jojo left his home in Tucson, Arizona
For some California grass.
Get back, get back.
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back.
Get back to where you once belonged.
Get back Jojo. Go home
Get back, get back.
Back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back.
Back to where you once belonged.
Get back Jo.
Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman
But she was another man
All the girls around her say she's got it coming
But she gets it while she can
Get back, get back.
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back.
Get back to where you once belonged.
Get back Loretta. Go home
Get back, get back.
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back.
Get back to where you once belonged.
Get back Loretta
Your mother's waiting for you
Wearing her high-heel shoes
And her low-neck sweater
Get on home Loretta
Get back, get back.
Get back to where you once belonged.
[Thanks, Mo! ...on behalf of the group I hope we passed the audition.]

song performed by Paul McCartney
Added by Lucian Velea
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Girls With Guitars

She turned fifteen with great expectations
Her older brother knew somethin? was up
He caught her going through his record collection
Lookin? at hendricks like a love sick pup
She begged and she pleaded till dad finally listened
He drove her in the car down to sears roebuck
He bought her that guitar and that was the beginning
Now shes down in the cellar with the amp turned up
Girls with guitars
Daddys little angel
Girls with guitars
Whats the world coming to?
Girls with guitars
Mothers tend to worry about
Girls with guitars
Well, saturday nights she followed her brother
It was socks and stockings on the old gym floor
While everybody danced to garage band covers
She was checking out riffs and memorizing chords
She didnt care at all for the football heroes
She didnt even notice the basketball stars
Boys as a species were all a bunch of zeroes
Except for the ones that played that guitar
Girls with guitars
She wasnt any debutante
Girls with guitars
She didnt go out for cheerleading
Girls with guitars
Boys are kinda nervous round
Girls with guitars
She went off to college, she got her degree
Her parents breathed a sigh of great relief
Daddys thinking law school, mothers thinking medicine
Daughters thinking how shes gonna break the news to them
Now theres an old chevy van just sitting in the driveway
Filled to the gills with all her stuff
She cut a deal with her brother to drive up the highway
Figures new york city is close enough
She gets the audition through a friend of a friend
Whos checking out her legs saying, this will never work!
She flips on her boogie and turns to the band
Gives a little grin and blows away the jerk
Girls with guitars
Now everybodys rockin? br> girls with guitars
There ought to be a song about
Girls with guitars
Theres just no stopping those
Girls with guitars
Get your money for nothin? and your guys for free

song performed by Wynonna Judd
Added by Lucian Velea
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I never went on an audition - when they were really looking at everybody.

quote by Joan Chen
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Because I sleep with him he asked me to audition, you know?

quote by Helena Bonham Carter
Added by Lucian Velea
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I had to audition for the part of Jnior, and I wanted the role terribly because I knew it was a great character. This guy is a wonderful, funny, mean old guy.

quote by Dominic Chianese
Added by Lucian Velea
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Even before my audition, there were several pages missing from my script because those bits were so unbelievably secret not even I was allowed to see them.

quote by Ian Hart
Added by Lucian Velea
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