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Antonio Banderas

I like going everywhere. And I love starting new things.

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Patrick White

And I Love It Out Here

And I love it out here this far into my solitude
where the stars are as high and holy and out of reach
as they always were
and everything that is finished irrelevant or gone to waste
discovers a secret peace in its exile and desolation
that doesn’t distinguish one light in the night from another
and there isn’t a road you can take that was meant for someone else.
Even when the wind blows the leaves around
like things I should have said to myself years ago
like things I should have known
that don’t come with a Buddha or a book
heavy with bells and the blissful fruit of wiser autumns
everything takes its place
in the spaciousness of an infinite center
the dislocated cannot exit
and even those who have found themselves
to be nothing real
cannot enter.
It’s as if all things were wounded so deeply and expansively
by the wary act of their existence
the dagger of circumstance and chance
can’t find a place to strike
and so there’s nothing to heal
nothing to fear
nothing to watch out for
that could hurt you any worse
than everything already is.
The wind on the water that trembles like skin
and the scales and feathers of the tangerine moonrise
shedding its wings on the serpentine mindstream
that flows off into the distance like a dragon
someone forgot to believe in
because they thought they grew up.
And time doesn’t ask itself what night it is
or the fish the depth of the water
and the flightplan of the hunting hawk
if it has one
is merely what catches its eye.
Parsifal the mottled fool
leaves home with the grail in his saddlebag
and it makes no difference to the kingdom
whether he finds it or not.
The first shall be last and the last shall be first
and then the grass eats the grazer who ate the grass.
There’s nothing to change
that hasn’t already been brought to pass
by the leftover leaves in the birch trees
that abandon their bones like old shamans
down by the banks of the river in spring
for the fish and the birds to pick clean.
The silence is moss on the skull of a rock
sprouting elegant chandeliers of columbine
that hang their heads like streetlights
over a long road with no one in sight.
So what could it possibly mean to be a stranger
among your own feelings and thoughts
when there are no gates you can stand outside of
and the enlightened beginning of the waterlily
as five petals open
and one flower blooms advaitistically
is rooted like a deep insight into a mirror that rots?
Is the coming any less endless than the going?
Or an ignorant life any less life than knowing
you can’t know what you’re seeking
until it finds you like someone it overlooked?
The empty herons’ nests high
in the dead trees of the swamp
are full of moonlight
and everywhere I walk
frogs punctuate the sloppy grammar of the water
that unspools like one long periodic sentence that’s never complete
as if the world hasn’t finished saying me yet
like something it means.
My delusions rise like waterbirds from a moonlit lake
to go witching for water among the stars
and I let them knowing they’re
the indirections by which we find directions out.
First you go down a lot of rivers
and then you take the road.
There’s a scaffolding of dark matter
we wore on the outside like an exoskeleton
and dark energies
that exhausted themselves like slaves
so we could walk erect in our watchtowers of flesh
like the ego of a candle with a spine for a wick.
Black bones buried somewhere
that once were us.
Churches that wandered off the beaten path like gravestones.
Dark sanctities of a dead lawgiver
that entrusted the truth to a liar
as if the night had a sense of humour.
And everything is as it is without discrimination
in the eyes of the light that falls upon us
as if we didn’t exist
though as far back as I can remember
my spirit has always cast its shadow upon the earth
like Venus on a moonless night
and my body laboured
like a prophet with a whale in his belly
to spread the word.
And subtlety of subtleties
wonder of wonders
my mind got a good look at what it isn’t
and spontaneously learned
to be playfully creative
with the absurdity of being here
whispering into my own ear
like a wind that talks to flowers
descended from the stars
about how far we all are from home.

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I Love You Like A Ball And Chain

Well the sound of your voice on the telephone
Make me feel distressed
Make me all alone.
Why do I feel so incomplete?
When you're not here I'm just obsolete.
My bed is burnin' all through the night.
You're the only one that can make me feel right.
Try to lay down my sleepin' head
But I'm tossin' and turnin' around instead.
I love you like a ball and chain.
(Make it alright now.)
Love you like a ball and chain.
(Feels too good.)
I'm a fool I know but I'm stuck on you.
I'm a fool I know and it's makin' me blue.
There's a river of blood.
There's a river of tears
I've been wasting all these years.
Chorus repeats

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True Love and ACTION; Love Is Deed (How To Truely LOVE a HERO)

To Manal Saigh: my niece who inspired me
to put my feelings about 'Cartoon Crisis' into words:


Ah me! LOVE
Is a sensitive,
And such
A delicate being;
It is a flower
In need for a shower
Of many a thing:
Words and care,
Not only gazing;
Though gazing
Is so glowing
And nourishing
For LOVE,
But it is only so
In the very beginning.

Love is a rare lilac
That needs careful
Occasional watering,
It is a red dewy rose,
Whose petal
You can't nail,
But certainly touch
Love is a playful cuddly
Fluffy kitten;
She loves kissing and hugging,
Love needs dialogue
Not argument,
Love is clarity;
It is not a game of power,
Or exchanging hints,
The winner is the loosing one
For love can not live
If one is always initiative
And the other in the receiving end;
One acts and the other
Reacts to what he gets,
The one who speaks
Will go dumb
In the long run.

Love needs constant
Nourishment for
Its soul, heart,
Mind and Flesh,
Needs genuine care;
Everlasting attendance,
Love is taking and giving;
It just can't go on living
Single handed;
It can never live
When one side is giving
And the other is welling
To only take;
SO
Nurture it with
Knowledge which
The mind needs;
With passion for
The heart sphere,
Elevate the human
Spirit and nourish
Love's soul with
Spiritual words
And deeds,
So that it could
Reach its peak
In the last step;
Full and flesh fulfillment
FOR:
Love is: action
What is love,
If action is not to be;
Practical deeds,
Not only words?
Though words in Love
Give a VERY, VERY
Feeding and supportive
Vibration.

I am trying hard
To show you Mohammad
My true LOVE,
In words as in action
And enhancing DEED,
I paid a high price
From my nerves;
My very life
And still ready
To pay even more, if it needs.

I look at the news
Everyday,
In the television,
In different channels,
I hear it in the Radio
From everywhere,
And try to analyze;
To understand
What I see,
I realize with a resentment;
With an OOOOH,
It is a kind of
Projection of
Our fear;
Anger from ourselves,
Not just the other ones,
It is similar to their PARANOIA,
For we are responsible
Not only some prejudiced
Or ignorant
People in the West.

Angry crowds
Shouting everywhere
In a hysterical way
From a cartoon
That tried to antagonize us
To get such
A spontaneous reaction,
Not a thinking result.

Mohammad you clarified
This religion for us
And this is the time we should
Give clarity to humanity
In return to what you gave:
For we Muslims betrayed
You Mohammad peace
Be upon You,
And all of Al Mighty
Messengers and prophets-
Such as Moses and Jesus-
Before some non believers
In the East or West.


This is not a justification
For their terrible deed,
But a rather
Self REPROACH;
I do not care about their
Shortcomings,
Yet I care to change ours;
Nothing after heresy
Is considered a sin,
It's between them
And The Creator,
The result is on
The Last Day
But certainly I do care
For their merits,
To improve what we lack;
Take a critical look
To see how we treat
Those who are in need
For our help:
Students, youngsters
The poor and widows,
I will mention my
Horrible experience
As a post graduate
Student in research:
Few in the Muslim world
Encouraged me as a researcher,
As a writer
And a poetess
Like people in the West did,
Look at the way
They, or rather
Most of them,
Cheer their students
To be better,
And you should try
As tried I
To dive deep;
To LEARN
From their attitude,
How to build not destroy
A young girl or boy;
The new generation
That look up
To you teachers, professors,
For guidance; for help
Look at their libraries,
Learning facilities
And Universities which they
Took their root from
Ours in Andalusia
And developed it later on,
Try to respect
SCIENCE and EDUCATION
As they and our
Great Grandfathers
Before them did.

If we are to blame
Then we should
Blame ourselves,
Before anyone else,
As well as some of those
In non Muslim countries;
The ignorant ones
In East or The West.


Take a look at the way
We apply Mohammad's
Principles and concept-
And what is genuine love,
If it were not application
And true attachment-
You will see only rituals
That are hollow from depth,
We minimized Islam
To some minor ideas,
To a lot of tradition;
To silly customs and habits
As what happens in our weddings,
Or when people submit their spirits,
Islam thus became
Something like:
Reading Qur'an
Without trying
To understand its depth,
A short 'Thoub'; wear for men,
A big untidy beard,
Beads to count and just
Covering woman's face
Which is not compulsory
In this superb creed,
But fanatics say it is so,
And insist their view
Is the only right one.


We say we are Muslims,
But most of us
Commit almost
Most of the sins
Of the non believers
In the West,
Or even the far East,
And other extra sins
That are invented by us,
We pray but do not
Love Him with real awe;
For if we loved
The real love then
And only then
We would have
Worshipped Allah
In the right practical way
That's suitable for Him;
We would have never
Worshipped money-
Like the Red Necks,
We would have never
Killed ourselves to get
More money,
Status or titles,
And other materialistic things.

We fast but sleep
All day long,
And hate to work
During the Fasting Day,
It is true Many Muslims
Still pray,
Hopefully it does
Not go like hay
For praying does not
Make them stop
Committing the Major sins:
They get drunk
From alcohol or opium,
Trade with interests,
Refuse polygamy,
Yet accept extra-
Marital relationship;
And call it just a whim,
Not the real name:
ADULTRY,
Chaperones refuse
To let young girls, under
Their custody or rather
Control, marry;
They keep themselves
Blind to the reality
Of their youngsters having
Boy or girl friend,
What a horrible thing
To accept adultery
As a normal thing
And refuse polygamy
Or divorce as a shameful
Catastrophe like what the non-
Believing Romans did,
Divorce and polygamy are
Sometimes a kind of a gift;
Hypocrisy and distorted
Ideas as such
Destroy society
From within.

If we applied Mohammad's
Principles when we mingle
With different people
In the East or the West,
The fair as the ignorant ones-
I do not count
The biased minority-
Would have understood Islam,
As it happened in the past:
In Indonesia, Melissa,
Parts of China,
Eastern and southern Europe,
Most of Africa
And Philosophical India,
But most of us
Smeared the beautiful face
Of this magnificent religion.

And still, we get angry
When others hate it,
Abuse it or insult it,
Well,
Neither do I like it;
In fact I resent it
So much,
Yet,
I can't blame others
For hating what
Muslims failed to represent,
Muslims please wakeup
Before The Day of Judgment.

25 Feb.2006

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Like the Muse of Your Love

Oh, i never send it there! !
But i thought i had;
And like the muse of your love,
But it is time for me to say, bye-bye!

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If You Love And Really Love

always be ready
with a tray of
forgiveness

like fresh fruits
and flowers on the tray
of hope
serve forgiveness
heartily

and then be happy again
dining on the table
of love

by the window the
sun is always ready with
the rays of
more blessings

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Like in summer and spring

Nowhere there’s a place
where I can describe,
what joy you bring me
with every passing day.

As the sun kisses the morning
and the stars caress the night,
and the moon dances
over a sky filled with clouds
you are the one really good thing,
that this life has brought me.

When life tosses its darkest winter
and blizzards filled with disaster blow,
your love stays unwavering
like in summer and spring.

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And I Love Her

I GIVE HER ALL MY LOVE
THAT┬┤S ALL I DO
AND IF YOU SAW MY LOVE
YOU┬┤D LOVE HER TOO
I LOVE HER

SHE GIVES ME EVERYTHING
AND TENDERLY
THE KISS MY LOVER BRINGS
SHE BRINGS TO ME
AND I LOVE HER

A LOVE LIKE OURS
COULD NEVER DIE
AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU NEAR ME

BRIGHT AS THE STARS THAT SHINE
DARK IS THE SKY
I KNOW THIS LOVE OF MINE
WILL NEVER DIE
AND I LOVE HER

BRIGHT AS THE STARS THAT SHINE...

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And I Love Her

I give her all my love
That's all I do
And if you saw my love
You'd love her too
I love her
She gives me everything
And tenderly
The kiss my lover brings
She brings to me
And I love her
A love like ours
Could never die
As long as I have you near me
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her

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Much Like the Naturalness of Making Love

How often do I write?

Daily...
Day and night.

Where do I get such an appetite.

It has been with me most of my life.
It is something love,
Much more than a choice...
Between things I 'like'.

It is a craving I can't explain.
Done for so long...
It is something I do that belongs.

Much like the naturalness of making love!
But when I write,
There is a stimulation that remains.
With an excitement...
I can without climax,
Sustain for hours and prolong!

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And I Love Her

(LennonMcCartney)
I give her all my love
That's all I do
And if you saw my love
You'd love her too
I love her
She gives me everything
And tenderly
The kiss my lover brings
She brings to me
And I love her
A love like ours
Could never die
As long as I
Have you near me
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her

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And you love me

And you love me

I love you.

You are, then, cold coward.

Aye; but, beloved,
When I strive to come to you,
Man's opinions, a thousand thickets,
My interwoven existence,
My life,
Caught in the stubble of the world
Like a tender veil --
This stays me.
No strange move can I make
Without noise of tearing
I dare not.

If love loves,
There is no world
Nor word.
All is lost
Save thought of love
And place to dream.
You love me?

I love you.

You are, then, cold coward.

Aye; but, beloved --

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Without You and Your Love

Feelings are so lost and I cannot decide about what to do?
I hope things will get all right
She is not here, I am alone
Life is lost and I so sad
Weeping tears of sadness
Bleeding, bleeding like hell
My life screams with pain
I express, I have had enough
Enough, of this life
No more favors, I wish for
Have had enough of favors
Only wish for some true love
Weeping tears of sadness and now I have to decide, whether to live or die?
Still wish for some true love
Love, no love I have
Enough of this life, lost and sad I am, without anybody and without love.

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Moon And Sun Love Story

MOON AND SUN LOVE STORY

End of the day
No other way

Lady Sun goes to hide
Mister Moon shines bright

After sun burns
Moonlight turns

Never ending ritual
Life's marital or burial

Moon wants to meet his love
Which is the ever sun above

Mister Moon drops his endless tears
As millions of glittering stars

End of the night
Dawn's beautiful sight

Moon must fade
Sun gets awake

Sun seems to sparkel with love
Like a huge golden dove

Moon’s ever dark sadness
Sun’s eternal light gladness

Never ending story
Of an impossible love

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My One And Only Love

The very thought of you makes
My heart sing,
Like an April breeze
On the wings of spring
And you come to me all your splendor,
My one and only love
The shadow's fall and spread their
Mystique charms in the hush of night,
While you're in my arms.
I feel your lips, so warm and tender,
My one and only love
The touch of your hand is like heaven.
A heaven that I've never known
The blush on your cheek,
Whenever I speak,
Tells me that you are my own
You fill my eager heart with
Such desire,
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender,
My one and only love

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Love And Only Love

Long ago in book of old, before the chapter were dreams unfold
A battle raged on open page,
Love was a winner there overcoming hate
Like a little girl who couldn't wait
[Chorus]
Love and only love will endure
Hate is everything you think it is
Love and only love will break it down
Love and only love, will break it down
Break it down
Break it down
Tomorrow is a long long time if you're a memory
Trying to find piece of mind
Spirit come to me, give strength and set me free
Let me feel the magic in my heart
[Chorus]
(repeat first verse)
Love and only love will endure
Hate is everything you think it is
Love and only love will break it down
Love and only love

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Everywhere And Not Rare

They wish to project their beliefs on others,
To protect their own insecurities.
Cold shouldered and indifferent.
Distant and aloof participants,
In the passing judgement game.

They do not show their envy.
Just express it enough,
For that to be understood.
They don't realize their tasks are masked.
Or that they wear sheep clothing,
Bearing teeth like wolves.

They believe their fake smiles,
Keep them hidden in camouflage.
But anyone who has lived and learned...
Do not find them at all odd!
Not when façades like these...
Are determined to satisfy,
Only themselves to please!

And folks like these...
Are not few to spare.
They are here.
They are there.
They are everywhere,
And not rare!

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Goodbye And I Love You

(see corrected lyrics in parentheses below)
I have something to tell you
And i know it won't be easy
I've been thinking these past few days
It might be time to leave
You're like a stranger
Then you're a lover
Never the same
Always hard to believe
(*) i'm caught between goodbye and i love you
Never knowing quite where i stand
I'm caught between goodbye and i love you
Falling both ways nowhere to land
So constantly stranded
I can't understant it
(understand)
This double life you've handed me
Is like the devil and the deep blue sea
If we go on much longer
If my doubts grow any stronger
Then i may have to let you go
If only to survive
Give me a reason
Why should i stary here?
(stay)
I've tried so hard
Just to keep love alive
Repeat (*)

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My One And Only Love

The very thought of you makes
My heart sing
Like an April breeze
On the wings of spring
And you appear in all your splendour
My one and only love
The shadows fall
And spread their mystic charms
In the hush of night
While you're in my arms
I feel your lips so warm and tender
My one and only love
The touch of your hand is like heaven
A heaven that I've never known
The blush on your cheek
Whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own
You fill my eager heart with
Such desire
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love
The blush on your cheek
Whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own
You fill my eager heart with
Such desire
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love
My one and only love

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Young And In Love

They said that we weren't old enough
and waiting five years would be better.
It was early morning on a wet June day
that we left our parents a letter.

We told them that we loved them,
but we also loved each other,
and the only way we could be happy
was to be as one, together.

So we left home and began our journey
as runaway lovers on a Barton bus.
We both felt dreadful to be leaving,
but our future depended on us.

Rented rooms and part time jobs
were all that we could find,
and being apart whilst being at work
wasn't what we had in mind.

We learned the hard way about living
and that love alone can't pay the rent.
We began to lose the 'being together' battle,
and like the money our love became spent.

We both hurt inside because of our failure
and that our love didn't conquer all.
Then we had our biggest decision to make,
Did we go on alone or give our parents a call?

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(I'm Caught Between) Goodbye And I Love You

I have something to tell you
And I know it won't be easy
I've been thinking these past few days
It might be time to leave
You're like a stranger
Then you're a lover
Never the same
Always hard to believe
I'm caught between goodbye
and I love you
Never knowing quite where I stand
I'm caught between goodbye
and I love you
Falling both ways nowhere to land
So constantly stranded
I can't understand it
This double life you've handed me
Is like the devil and the deep blue sea
If we go on much longer
If my doubts grow any stronger
Then I may have to let you go
If only to survive
Give me a reason
Why should I stay here
I've tried so hard
Just to keep love alive
I'm caught between goodbye
and I love you
Never knowing quite where I stand
I'm caught between goodbye
and I love you
Falling both ways nowhere to land
So constantly stranded
I can't understand it
This double life you've handed me
Is like the devil and the deep blue sea

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