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Charlize Theron

I tried to transform myself through characters throughout my career.

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Charlize Theron

I mean I tried to transform myself through characters throughout my career.

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Angelina Jolie

I'm happy being myself, which I've never been before. I always hid in other people, or tried to find myself through the characters, or live out their lives, but I didn't have those things in mine.

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The nights I tried to kill myself

I tried to kill my self a few nights ago
I cut my Wrists
And tied a loose around my neck.
Still I did not succeed

I was stopped yet again
By the police
Sticking their nose in.

I tried to kill myself
What is it with people?
Why cant they see what I see?

Why can they not let me go?
Why did they have to save me?
On the nights I tried to kill myself.

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The night I tried to kill myself

The night I tried to kill myself
Was like a scary dream
A knife held to my neck
No one heard me scream

The cuts over my body
As I tried to bleed to death
It didn't seem to work
As I took a deep breathe

Theres not point living life
If it's going to hurt with pain
Death seems more peaceful
Life is like a stain

One little cut on my neck
Thats all it was going to take
I told myself I could do it
For all goodness sake

A knock on my door
Reminded me someone must care
I broke out in tears
I felt so scared

Death can seem peaceful
It can seem truley right
But for now I chose to live
As I hang on really tight

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A Failure

i tried to be
myself
a self-made man
all the way
through from
womb to
tomb only to
find at the end
of the whiff
that there is
no self

how poor
on this failure
what a waste
of time
therefore.

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I tried to kill myself today

I tried to go out of the world today.
I thought it would be best to end it all.
After all my demons have beaten me
They wont loosen their grip.
It has wanted me dead
For so very long.

I wanted to die.
But still some one found me.
And saved my sad miserable life.

Why cant people see?
What I see.
Its so clear
My life is not worth living

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All I Can Do Is What I Am

ALL I CAN DO IS WHAT I AM

All I can do is what I am
I can’t be better than this-
If it is not good enough
This is what God has given-
I will try and try again
As long as I am able-
This is what my life has been-
But if it is not good enough
It is not good enough –
I have tried to make myself better
In so many ways through so much time
And all I am is what I have done-
If it is not good enough-
Forgive me.

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Another Football Season Ending

Another football season coming to an end
not even the play offs to look forward to
still that's becoming the norm
when you support my team in Sky Blue.
But my loyalty is always going to be there
and I'm proud to be a Coventry City fan
turning up to all of the home games
and as many away matches as I can.
We'll all be miserable throughout the summer
with no interest in Cricket or Wimbledon
too busy thinking about next season
than lying on a beach in the sun.
But I'll put myself through it all again
as I have done for so many years
hoping that next season is going to be great
but knowing it'll probably end up in tears!

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Until Then My Love (Free Verse)

Until Then My Love (Free Verse)

I hope that we meet
In a not so distant life
Where you and I
Are husband and wife
One where we meet
In our youth
Where we grow up together
In which we are couth
We may only hope
We may even pray
That sooner or later
Will come that day
Until then my love
I just want you to know
I can only wish
That you were my beau

P.s. I tried to write this poem from a woman's view. I tried to place
myself in a woman's shoes. There are times that I try to do this in some
of my poetry. I am not sure if I do a good job or not, but I do like to try it
every now and then. If you want to look at this poem through the eyes
of a hopeless romantic guy, you can change the last word beau to bow.


Edwin Tanguma © 12/10/2011

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Deathbed Discourse

This past week I lost two good friends. The one friend I lost to cancer. The poor guy suffered horribly. All through his ordeal his wife was by his bedside. I began to reflect on this and I tried to put myself in his place. What would I say? What would I think knowing I was about to die? Shortly after musing, I composed this sonnet.

Weep no tears for me at this time and place.
A thousand eyes change not my destiny.
All living things must die eventually
Except my love for you, which I embrace.
Feel not sad for me looking at my face
Although it's old and wrinkled you can see
A budding rose should age so gracefully.
My time grows near my love; in any case
Your life goes on nevertheless my love.
So wipe those eyes dry of life's mournful dew
And think not this time undeserving of.
Life had been kind, more so, finding you.
A lifelong companion envied above
By angels and cherubs alike, love!

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My Farewell Letter

To everyone I ever loved
this is my farewell
I might be going to heaven
I might be going to hell

I can't take it anymore
I can't endure the pain
I'd rather kill myself
than live this life of shame

You might say I'm a coward
and talk bad when I'm gone
you might say I was stupid
but all of you are wrong

because who else would have the strength
to take a razor to their arm?
who else would be strong enough
to bring all self harm?

good-bye mommy
good-bye daddy
you just didn't know
I was hurting to badly

good-bye to my friends
the ones that tried to help me through
even though you couldn't save me
I still appreciate you

good-bye brothers and sisters
and all my family members
do not bury me in a casket
watch my ashes burn with embers

good-bye to everyone
farewell to all
please don't be here
to watch me fall


One night I wanted to die, so i wrote a farewell letter, then I turned it into a poem

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Tears

Tears in my eyes, tears in my eyes
Feeling like theres nothing left to say
Maybe I should wait for another day
One more day
Tried to find myself, but now youre gone
I had to find the strength to carry on
Carry on
Tears in my eyes
How they fall like rain to the floor
Where do you go when the summers gone?
Walking away is the same as closing the door
Can you look at the sky when the sun dont shine?
Look in my eyes
You can see my dreams on the floor
Where do I go now the summer is gone?
Run through the field like a child whos closing the door
Youre feeling the wind now the sun dont shine
Losing you would always be my fear
Never knowing if youd still be here
Still be here
Remembering the words you said to me
Saying that you had to set me free
Set me free
Ghosts of love will come
Now the light is gone
Haunting my soul
Never letting go
Through my broken dreams
Hear you calling me
Lonely like the wind
Echoes back again
Feeling like theres nothing left to say...

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Crossfire

Spring light in a hazy may
And a man with a gun at the door
Someones crawling on the roof above ---
All the media here for the show
Ive been waiting for our friends to come
Like spiders down ropes to free-fall
A thirty round clip for a visiting card ---
Admit one to the embassy ball
Caught in the crossfire on princes gate avenue
In go the windows and out go the lights
Call me a doctor. fetch me a policeman
Im down on the floor in one hell of a fight
Im just a soul with an innocent face ---
A regular boy dressed in blue
Conducting myself in a proper way
As befitting the job that I do
They came down on me like a ton of bricks
Swept off my feet, knocked about
Theres nothing for it but to sit and wait
For the hard men to get me out
Calm reason floats from the street below
And the slow fuse burns through the night
Everyones tried to talk it through
But they cant seem to get the deal right
Somewhere there are brownings in a two-hand hold ---
Cocked and locked, one up the spout
Theres nothing for it but to sit and wait
For the hard men to get me out

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10 Days

Having been born in my own yard
I never knew a reason to leave.
But when a flower from the other side of the fence called my name
it brought me to consider.
But the prospect seemed ludicrous-
I shall stay on my side of the fence.
Upon closer look the beautiful flower again called my name
I saw the petals were smooth and green.
So I jumped the fence, and tried to place myself in the ground next to the flower
laboriously digging all around it, trying to become one with it.
The following 3 days, while I dug, the beautiful flower withered in the hot wind and on the fourth crumbled beside me.
Feeling compelled to myself wither and crumble with guilt
on the other side of the garden another flower called
feeling hopeless and tormented I followed the voice for four more days until I came upon the flower
standing alone on parched soil, famished and dying.
Suffocating in my own misery
for 2 days I attempted to penetrate through the dry, cracked ground to bind myself to this lone, beautiful flower I found among weeds and sticks
and eventually dug this flower up as well, which too died
I thought about where to go from here
but so weakened I myself began to wither and crack.
10 days after leaving my yard
my skin flaked off
my teeth fell out
my bones became ashes.

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Goin Through The Motions

(ian hunter and eric bloom)
Producer for bonnie: jim steinman
Chant:
In and out and out and in
And up and down and all around
Were going through it
V nothing to it
V all youve got to do is do it
Going through the motions - 1,2,3,4
I go you go you go me go
Everywhere that we go well be
Going through the motions - 1,2,3,4
1,2
Going through the motions
Going through the motions
I dont really care
Cause youre going nowhere
Youve got nothing but fear in your eyes
Youre leading me on
But you can be anyone
Cause I know youll be gone when I rise
And were going through the motions
Going through the motions
Going through the motions
Going through the motions
Staying with you
Gave us something to do
I always thought it was true for a while
Your loving your lies
Youre so thinly disguised
You couldnt tell right from wrong if you tried
And were going through the motions
Going through the motions
Going through the motions
Going through the motions
To thee Ill dedicate this photograph
Ill even sign it love to you, again
And when its faded and forgotten in some book
Youll sometimes look
Youll sometimes look
Youll sometimes look
Instrumental
Its a game its a game
No lets call it a shame
Cause theres no one to blame
Its a pain
You were a friend for a day
So dont cry if I say
That you got what you want, its ok
Going through the motions
Going through the motions
Repeat chant

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If There Are The Thigns

If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
Why dont I dream
Anymore
Ive tried to tell myself
Nothings changed my dear
But I look around me
And think maybe thats not so
I only have nightmares
And wake up with cold sweat
Coming through my pores
Why dont I dream anymore
Im in the garden
All the trees bear fruit
I have to pick them before they fall
I finally grab one
I hold it in my hand
I open it up
Its rotten to the core
Why dont I dream anymore
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
Why dont I dream
Anymore
We lose our patience
Lose our trust
Yes we lose our innocence
To forget our sorrow and hide our pain
We lose old memories
But dreams are what lifes worth living for
I wish I could dream
Once more
Im in the garden
All the trees bear fruit
I have to pick them before they fall
I finally grab one
I hold it in my hand
I open it up
Its rotten to the core
Why dont I dream anymore
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
Why dont I dream anymore
Ive tried to tell myself
Its all for the best my dear
But I look around me and think
Maybe thats not so
I only have nightmares
Wake up in a cold sweat
Have I become as corrupt
As all I abhor
Im in the garden
All the trees bear fruit
I have to pick them before they fall
I finally grab one
I hold it in my hand
I open it up
Its rotten to the core
Why dont I dream anymore
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
I dont want anymore

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If It Was't Rape

Dark rewrite of New Edition's If It Isn't Love

He did't rape me
I tried to tell myself
But I can see it in my haunted, tortured eyes
I can no longer deny
I can't fool myself or anyone else
The truth is clear in the tears that I cry tonight cause

If it was't rape
Why do I feel this way?
Why are those brutal memories always ripping their way through my mind?
If it was't rape
Why does it feel so bad?
Make me feel so sick inside
If it was't rape

He told me that it was just a rough, really rough act of love
But something inside of me knows better

How does it feel?
To be quite honest
I can't even begin to describe this awful feelin'
That came after he was done with me last night
Somehow he got to me
I just wish I knew the reason why
Maybe, just maybe, it's all my fault
'Cause he saw me with another guy

Chorus

Maybe someday I'll be able to pay him back
Get him back for the damage he's inflicted
Someday, someway
Gonna have him begging on his knees, please
Girl, I made one hell of a big mistake
Oh yeah, I'll make him feel it
The pain, the shame, the heartbreak
All of it
Just like I felt it
'Cause
My God
I can't
I just can't ever forgive him
'Cause he did
He really did hurt me
Break me
Like no one else ever had before
Broke me

It took one night, one night of unforgetable violence
To shatter my soul into a billion million pieces
Before I'd ever realize
Before I'd ever understand just how cruel, damn cruel this world could be
Lost my innocence
Helped my heart to see that

Chorus

2008 Ramona Thompson

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I Dont Care

Good-bye baby, I dont think Ill be seeing you again
Good-bye baby, well say that were still friends
Even though I know I love nobody else
And even though I know, I say to myself
That this time Im leaving and I now that were through and I dont
Love you
And that I just dont care
Im just so tired of being another statistic on tv
The classic case of I love him, but he just dont love me
So this time Im going to be the one to say its the end
This time Im gonna be my own best friend
And Im going to save some love, some love for myself
Ill kiss you all serious, it might help
And that I just dont care
I dont care
So many times, I tried to tell myself
That this love would work, if I just gave up some more love for myself
I believed if I just quite my crying, youd start your trying, leave
Your lying
But I believe if I just walked away, I could say
I dont care
Dont care
You were always the cool one, you stood by the backdoor
You said you know, leaving sorta makes you look good
But this time I swear its the best youll ever see of me
So this time Im going to be the one to say its the end
This time Im gonna be my own best friend
And Im going to save some love, some love for myself
Ill (kiss you all serious in hell)? ? ?
And that I just dont care
I dont care
So many times, I tried to tell myself
That this love would work, if I just gave up some more love for myself
I believed if I just quite my crying, youd start your trying, leave
Your lying
But I believe if I just walked away, I could say
I dont care
Dont care
*skat over two-line verse and refrain
So good-bye baby, I dont think Ill be seeing you again

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If These Are The Things

If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
Why don't I dream
Anymore
I've tried to tell myeself
Nothing's changed my dear
But I look around me
And think maybe that's not so
I only have nightmares
And wake up with cold sweat
Coming through my pores
Why don't I dream anymore
I'm in the garden
All the trees bear fruit
I have to pick them before they fall
I finnaly grab one
I hold it in my hand
I open it up
It's rotten to the core
Why don't I dream anymore
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
Why don't I dream
Anymore
We lose our patience
Lose our trust
Yes we lose our innocence
To forget our sorrow and hide our pain
We lose old memories
But dreams are what life's worth living for
I wish I could dream
Once more
I'm in the garden
All the trees bear fruit
I have to pick them
Before they fall
I finnaly grab one
I hold it in my hand
I open it up
It's rotten to the core
Why don't I dream anymore
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
Why don't I dream anymore
I've tried to tell myself
It's all for the best my dear
But I look around me and think
Maybe that's not so
I only have nightmares
Wake up in a cold sweat
Have I become as corrupt
As all I abhor
Why don't I dream anymore
I'm in the garden
All the trees bear fruit
I have to pick them
Before they fall
I finnaly grab one
I hold it in my hand
I open it up
It's rotten to the core
Why don't I dream anymore
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
If these are the things that
Dreams are made of
I don't want anymore

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Channel Tunnelling after Sue Morton

Some bright sparks said O Blighty!
a long long time ago
thanked icons of almighty
that they packed up to go
to France, pyjamas, nightie
silk, satin sporty show.
This gospel write rings rightly
as Western gringos know,
though ski resorts glow sprightly
with artificial snow.

For France the weekly hours
are thirty five at most
without the April showers
which reign on England's coast,
Law holidays empowers
six weeks with wine to toast,
some butter bread, some glowers
at others' flowered boast.

In Paris public transport
runs on from 5 to 3,
for poor we're never spoil-sport,
the cost is almost free,
and so one can but exhort
you holiday with me!
French sun is sold for export,
we import English tea.

Though strikes occur, they rarely
unjustified appear
they're faced and fairly squarely
are doomed to disappear
but governments are rarely
known to be quite sincere
proposing wages barely
as high and as tax free

as income providential
from oily Saudi flogs.
One difference essential
between the Brits and Frogs
the latter's high potential
for leaping out of fogs,
as queues are rare, torrential
rain's going to the dogs.

The French aren't good at queuing,
or praising pomp and power,
they far prefer pursuing
short skirts on Eyeful Tower,
'Gainst slander they love suing,
burn oil at midnight hour,
These aptitudes accruing
are they worth English flower?

Compared to French connection,
who'll treasure Virgin rail,
Examine our election -
'small' leaves great paper trail!
Though natural selection
from Darwin stems you're pale
reach sun-tanned spa complexion
not beach bleached stranded whale!

French prices rise more slowly
than those across the sea,
the French are oh so lowly
as foreign tourists see,
'tis known the French care solely
for neighbours, family,
Eternal equals wholly
fraternal, liberty.
The Euro's value's holy
Cents pounded seem to be!

Whoever could indict a
land so serene vents spleen!
What other fields are brighter
crops yellow, rust and greens?
what sense of humour lighter?
what love for Kings and Queens?
and what courageous fighter?
go tell it to Marines!

This verse could run on quickly,
forever and a day,
'til oil declines too sickly
to make inflation's hay
while sun shines, tempers prickly
will surely fade away,
as will these lines, though tickly
they surely pay their way.

Too many finite leeway
accord attention spans,
judge short rants trophy freeway, -
France right drives and left bans,
so stanzas soon shall see way
to end their tale which scans,
leave site unsee for pre-pay
bang & mashers, cola cans!

Strike British strike addiction
with Maggie Thatcher voice,
From wise words' speedy diction
the reader makes his choice
what truth is, what is fiction -
gold silence, silver: voice!
Verse ends here without friction,
so reader rare, rejoice!


(12 June 2008 Spontaneous response to Fuel Duel)

Brits are used to queuing
For most things on life’s road
but Friday the thirteenth
could see tempers explode
as Shell’s tanker drivers
refuse to haul their load
and the pumps will be dry
where once petrol flowed.

They’re going out on strike
for better rates of pay
they haven’t had a rise
for sixteen years they say
The government have warned
don’t panic buy today
other haulage firms can
deliver without delay.

With prices rising fast
our cars we’re told to share,
or use public transport
but can we afford the fare?
While waiting in the rain
we say a quiet prayer
for the bus to turn up
and save us from despair.

Public transport is best
or so they proclaim
I’ve tried it out myself
and think its rather lame
with routes cut left and right
it really is a shame
fuel is up in price and
getting to work’s a game.

So next time at the pumps
while waiting in the queue
think how much you need it
don’t take more than you’re due
leave a little for others
so they don’t have to stew
fair shares for one and all
will see us Brits come through.

(Sue Morten 12 June 2008)

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