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The Darkness

Cast: Kevin Bacon, Radha Mitchell, David Mazouz, Lucy Fry, Matt Walsh, Jennifer Morrison, Parker Mack, Tara Lynne Barr

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The Heir Of Lynne

Of all the lords in faire Scotland
A song I will begin:
Amongst them all dwelled a lord
Which was the unthrifty Lord of Lynne.

His father and mother were dead him froe,
And so was the head of all his kinne;
He did neither cease nor blinne
To the cards and dice that he did run.

To drinke the wine that was so cleere!
With every man he would make merry.
And then bespake him John of the Scales,
Unto the heire of Lynne say'd hee,

Sayes 'how dost thou, Lord of Lynne,
Doest either want gold or fee?
Wilt thou not sell thy land so brode
To such a good fellow as me?

'For . . I . . ' he said,
'My land, take it unto thee;
I draw you to record, my lords all;'
With that he cast him a Gods pennie.

He told him the gold upon the bord,
It wanted never a bare penny.
'That gold is thine, the land is mine,
The heire of Lynne I will bee.'

'Heeres gold enough,' saithe the heire of Lynne,
'Both for me and my company.'
He drunke the wine that was so cleere,
And with every man he made merry.

Within three quarters of a yeare
His gold and fee it waxed thinne,
His merry men were from him gone,
And left himselfe all alone.

He had never a penny left in his purse,
Never a penny but three,
And one was brasse and another was lead
And another was white mony.

'Now well-a-day!' said the heire of Lynne,
'Now well-a-day, and woe is mee!
For when I was the Lord of Lynne,
I neither wanted gold nor fee;

[...] Read more

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Lucy Cant Dance

Lucy I know what youre going to going to do
Oh lucy look what youre doing Im doing it too
Now youre looking for God in exciting new ways
I say trust him at once which is something these days
Lucy cant dance to the noise but she knows what the noise can do
Lucy cant dance to the noise but she knows what the noise can do
Did the world just explode?
Dont recognize anyone
But youve still got me under your thumb
Lucy cant dance to the noise but she knows what the noise can do
Oh oh oh
Lucy cant dance to the noise but she knows what the noise can do
Theres tooling your frenzy in the tole savoy
And the sexual noise which is caught up a toy
You live and you die in the blink of an eye
Well I cant make you dance
Lucy cant dance
Dance to the noise
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can do
Lucy cant dance
Dance to the noise
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can do
Lucy cant dance
Lucy cant dance
Lucy I know what youre going to going to do
But you cant buy me off in the stirial (? ) world
Who who who died and made you material girl?
Lucy cant dance to the noise but she knows what the noise can do
So Ill spin while my lunatic lyric goes wrong
Guess Ill put all my eggs in a postmodern song
Lucy cant dance to the noise but she knows what the noise can do
Of the show of the fine reality
Just a few simple words like I love you, I need you
Live and to die in the blink of an eye
Still I cant make you dance
Lucy cant dance
Dance to the noise
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can do
Lucy cant dance
Dance to the noise
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can
Lucy cant dance but she knows what the noise can do
Can do
Lucy I know what youre going to going to do
Lucy I know what youre going to going to do
Lucy cant dance

[...] Read more

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Abram Morrison

'Midst the men and things which will
Haunt an old man's memory still,
Drollest, quaintest of them all,
With a boy's laugh I recall
Good old Abram Morrison.

When the Grist and Rolling Mill
Ground and rumbled by Po Hill,
And the old red school-house stood
Midway in the Powow's flood,
Here dwelt Abram Morrison.

From the Beach to far beyond
Bear-Hill, Lion's Mouth and Pond,
Marvellous to our tough old stock,
Chips o' the Anglo-Saxon block,
Seemed the Celtic Morrison.

Mudknock, Balmawhistle, all
Only knew the Yankee drawl,
Never brogue was heard till when,
Foremost of his countrymen,
Hither came Friend Morrison;

Yankee born, of alien blood,
Kin of his had well withstood
Pope and King with pike and ball
Under Derry's leaguered wall,
As became the Morrisons.

Wandering down from Nutfield woods
With his household and his goods,
Never was it clearly told
How within our quiet fold
Came to be a Morrison.

Once a soldier, blame him not
That the Quaker he forgot,
When, to think of battles won,
And the red-coats on the run,
Laughed aloud Friend Morrison.

From gray Lewis over sea
Bore his sires their family tree,
On the rugged boughs of it
Grafting Irish mirth and wit,
And the brogue of Morrison.

Half a genius, quick to plan,
Blundering like an Irishman,

[...] Read more

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Rubber Lucy

(clarke)
Lucy youre a floozy
You aint choosy
Youve been flashing those big blue eyes
At the other guys
Dont be surprised
If you dont end up with a
Baby cool it, dont over do it
Always have something left as your standby
Lucy baby keep me in mind
Youre so reckless
A diamond necklace
Aint no substitute for how you feel
Such a steal
Lucy baby lets make it real
Red light outa sight is what youre saying
You dont really think thats true
No help needed youre displaying
Lucy baby, lucy baby, lucy baby, keep me in mind
As the queen bee Ill make your honey
Ill even populate your hive
Ive got a sting that aint so funny
Lucy baby, lucy baby, lucy baby, keep me in mind
Can I try you
Let me buy you
Just a piece of my delight
For the night
Youll find it alright
Lucy baby keep me in mind
Lucy baby, lucy baby, lucy baby, keep me in mind
Lucy baby, lucy baby, lucy baby, keep me in mind
Lucy baby, lucy baby, lucy baby, keep me in mind
Lucy baby, lucy baby, lucy baby, keep me in mind

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Shakedown On 9th Street

Head on down to 9th street gal
Lets go out kicking with the boys and the gals
Wear your dress and bring my ring
Someones gonna get it aint gonna be me
Lucy lucy my gal
Lucy lucy my sweet
Lucy lucy my gal
I was just gonna hit him but Im gonna kill him now
We all met about half past three
Lucy she was rocking by my kicking machine
Too many straits and not enough grease
Thats when lucy got it in the chest I think
Lucy lucy my gal
Lucy lucy my sweet
Lucy lucy my gal
I was just gonna hit him but Im gonna kill him now
Lucy they started fighting I was screaming for him
Boots all dirty sexy and thin
Then on come the lights from the straits in their cars
I was just a laughing when I hit the floor
Lucy lucy my gal
Lucy lucy my sweet
Lucy lucy my gal
I was just gonna hit him but Im gonna kill him now

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All I Have (feat. Jennifer Lopez)

(LL Cool J)
Baby, don't go... Baby, don't go...
Baby, dont go... Baby, don't go...
Baby, don't go... Baby, don't go...
(Jennifer)
Ooh... Yeah... Yeah... Yeah...
(Jennifer)
It's such a shame but I'm leaving
Can't take the way you're mistreating me
And it's crazy, but oh baby
It don't matter, whatever
Don't phase me
(LL Cool J)
I don't believe you wanna leave like this
I don't believe I just had my last real kiss
I do believe we'll laugh and reminisce
Wait a minute, don't bounce baby,
let's talk about this, man...
(Jennifer)
Well I'm bouncin' and I'm out son
I gotta leave you alone
'Cause I'm good
Holdin' down my spot
And I'm good
Reppin' the girls on the block
And I'm good
I got this thing on lock
So without me you'll be fine - right
(Jennifer)
All my pride is all I have
(LL Cool J)
Pride is what you had, baby girl I'm what you have
(Jennifer)
You'll be needing me but too bad
(LL Cool J)
Be easy, don't make decisions while you're mad
(Jennifer)
The path you chose to run alone
(LL Cool J)
I know you're independent, you can make it on your own
(Jennifer)
Here with me you had a home, oh yeah...
(LL Cool J)
But time is of the essence, why spend it alone
(Jennifer)
The nights I waited up for you
Promises you made about coming through
So much time you wasted
That's why I had to replace you
(LL Cool J)

[...] Read more

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Tale VIII

THE MOTHER.

There was a worthy, but a simple Pair,
Who nursed a Daughter, fairest of the fair:
Sons they had lost, and she alone remain'd,
Heir to the kindness they had all obtain'd,
Heir to the fortune they design'd for all,
Nor had th' allotted portion then been small;
And now, by fate enrich'd with beauty rare,
They watch'd their treasure with peculiar care:
The fairest features they could early trace,
And, blind with love saw merit in her face -
Saw virtue, wisdom, dignity, and grace;
And Dorothea, from her infant years,
Gain'd all her wishes from their pride or fears;
She wrote a billet, and a novel read,
And with her fame her vanity was fed;
Each word, each look, each action was a cause
For flattering wonder and for fond applause;
She rode or danced, and ever glanced around,
Seeking for praise, and smiling when she found,
The yielding pair to her petitions gave
An humble friend to be a civil slave,
Who for a poor support herself resign'd
To the base toil of a dependant mind:
By nature cold, our Heiress stoop'd to art,
To gain the credit of a tender heart.
Hence at her door must suppliant paupers stand,
To bless the bounty of her beauteous hand:
And now, her education all complete,
She talk'd of virtuous love and union sweet;
She was indeed by no soft passion moved,
But wished with all her soul to be beloved.
Here, on the favour'd beauty Fortune smiled;
Her chosen Husband was a man so mild,
So humbly temper'd, so intent to please,
It quite distress'd her to remain at ease,
Without a cause to sigh, without pretence to tease:
She tried his patience on a thousand modes,
And tried it not upon the roughest roads.
Pleasure she sought, and disappointed, sigh'd
For joys, she said, 'to her alone denied;'
And she was sure 'her parents if alive
Would many comforts for their child contrive:'
The gentle Husband bade her name him one;
'No--that,' she answered, 'should for her be done;
How could she say what pleasures were around?
But she was certain many might be found.'
'Would she some seaport, Weymouth, Scarborough,

[...] Read more

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Ricky

R: hey lucy, Im home
L: oh ricky, youre so fine
L: youre so fine you blow my mind
L: hey ricky, hey ricky
R: oh lucy, youre so fine
R: youre so fine you blow my mind
R: hey lucy, hey lucy
L: oh ricky, youre so fine
L: you play your bongos all the time
L: hey ricky, hey ricky
R: oh lucy, youre so fine
R: how I love tyo hear you whine
R: hey lucy
L: hey ricky
L: you always play your conga drums, you think you got the right
L: you wake up little ricky in the middle of the night
L: stop shakin your maraccas now and just turn out the light ricky
R: Im sick of fred and ethel always comin over here
R: cause fred eats all our pretzel sticks and then he spills his beer
R: why dont you serve your cassarole and make them disappear lucy
L: oh ricky, whats a girl like me supposed to do
L: you really drive me wild when you sing your babaloo
R: oh lucy, youre so dizzy, dont you have a clue
R: well, heres to you lucy
R: I love you too lucy, too lucy, lets babaloo lucy
L: hey ricky
L: youre always playin at the club, you never let me go
L: Im beggin and Im pleadin but you always tell me no
L: oh, please honey please, let me be in your show ricky, wah
R: you always burn the roast and you drop the dishes too
R: you iron my new shirt and you burn a hole right through
R: youre such a crazy redhead I just dont know what to do lucy
L: oh ricky
L: what a pity, dont you understand
L: that every days a rerun and the laughters always canned
R: oh lucy
R: Im the latin leader of the band
R: so heres to you lucy
R: lets babaloo lucy, too lucy
R: everybody rumba!
R: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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Charlie Mack

Artist: dj jazzy jeff and the fresh prince
[fresh prince]
Everywhere we go, downtown or to a show
We have two necessities, charlie mack and our limo
He's feared by suckers yet he's loved by kids
Pay attention and let me tell you who charlie mack
He is our homeboy from around the block
He's regarded through the city as the hip-hop cop
Height about 6'6", weight about 290
Everywhere i go, charlie mack is right behind me
He never laughs, never smiles nor sweats
He doesn't breaks arms or legs, only spines or necks
He once killed a man cause he would not let go of his eggo
Apollo creed is a sucker, charlie mack could beat drago
He could bench about three-hundred pounds
The cops all take a vacation, when charlie's in town
He's the toughest around, so everywhere that i go, he goes
He's charlie mack and he's the first out the limo
[fresh prince]
I guess you're wonderin why he's the first out
The limo, yo, let me give you this bit of info
So you'll know the things that charlie can do
And you'll know every single reason why he's down with the crew
The limo picks up about a half past six
With the radio blastin our latest hit
It's me, jeff, ready rock, omar and j.l.
Charlie mack is up front as we depart the hotel
First we cause chaos throughout the city streets
Then maybe stop at burger king for a bite to eat
And if somebody gets stupid while we're in the place
Charlie cancels his order and bites off their face
He's not a troublemaker, in fact, he's a troublebreaker
And if somebody gets dumb, well it'll only take a
Second or two, after some fools snaps
Law and order is restored by my hero charlie mack
Wheel off into the limo, and head for the jam
Charlie cracks all the knuckles, on both of his hands
And when we pull up to the show, the routine is unrehearsed
It's just natural that we let charlie hop our first
He clears the crowd without sayin a word
Man, that's the loudest silence i've ever heard
A lot of times guys test him, by tryin to bug
He just, leaves ring imprints, all over their mugs
He's a terminator, a hercules of sorts
Man to hell with chess, he likes physical sports
You may not have known before but now you know
The reason why charlie mack is the first out the limo
[fresh prince]
We'd like to apologize to all of our fans
But please don't touch us when we're at our jams

[...] Read more

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John Dryden

Absalom and Achitophel

In pious times, e'er Priest-craft did begin,
Before Polygamy was made a sin;
When man, on many, multiply'd his kind,
E'r one to one was, cursedly, confind:
When Nature prompted, and no law deny'd
Promiscuous use of Concubine and Bride;
Then, Israel's monarch, after Heaven's own heart,
His vigorous warmth did, variously, impart
To Wives and Slaves; And, wide as his Command,
Scatter'd his Maker's Image through the Land.
Michal, of Royal blood, the Crown did wear,
A Soyl ungratefull to the Tiller's care;
Not so the rest; for several Mothers bore
To Godlike David, several Sons before.
But since like slaves his bed they did ascend,
No True Succession could their seed attend.
Of all this Numerous Progeny was none
So Beautifull, so brave as Absalon:
Whether, inspir'd by some diviner Lust,
His father got him with a greater Gust;
Or that his Conscious destiny made way
By manly beauty to Imperiall sway.
Early in Foreign fields he won Renown,
With Kings and States ally'd to Israel's Crown
In Peace the thoughts of War he could remove,
And seem'd as he were only born for love.
What e'er he did was done with so much ease,
In him alone, 'twas Natural to please.
His motions all accompanied with grace;
And Paradise was open'd in his face.
With secret Joy, indulgent David view'd
His Youthfull Image in his Son renew'd:
To all his wishes Nothing he deny'd,
And made the Charming Annabel his Bride.
What faults he had (for who from faults is free?)
His Father could not, or he would not see.
Some warm excesses, which the Law forbore,
Were constru'd Youth that purg'd by boyling o'r:
And Amnon's Murther, by a specious Name,
Was call'd a Just Revenge for injur'd Fame.
Thus Prais'd, and Lov'd, the Noble Youth remain'd,
While David, undisturb'd, in Sion raign'd.
But Life can never be sincerely blest:
Heaven punishes the bad, and proves the best.
The Jews, a Headstrong, Moody, Murmuring race,
As ever try'd th' extent and stretch of grace;
God's pamper'd people whom, debauch'd with ease,
No King could govern, nor no God could please;
(Gods they had tri'd of every shape and size
That Gods-smiths could produce, or Priests devise.)

[...] Read more

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The Bridal Of Triermain

Introduction.
I.
Come Lucy! while 'tis morning hour
The woodland brook we needs must pass;
So, ere the sun assume his power,
We shelter in our poplar bower,
Where dew lies long upon the flower,
Though vanish'd from the velvet grass.
Curbing the stream, this stony ridge
May serve us for a silvan bridge;
For here, compell'd to disunite,
Round petty isles the runnels glide,
And chafing off their puny spite,
The shallows murmurers waste their might,
Yielding to footstep free and light
A dry-shod pass from side to side.

II.
Nay, why this hesitating pause?
And, Lucy, as thy step withdraws,
Why sidelong eye the streamlet's brim?
Titania's foot without a slip,
Like, thine, though timid, light, and slim,
From stone to stone might safely trip,
Nor risk the glow-worm clasp to dip
That binds her slipper's silken rim.
Or trust thy lover's strength; nor fear
That this same stalwart arm of mine,
Which could yon oak's prone trunk uprear,
Shall shrink beneath, the burden dear
Of form so slender, light, and fine;
So! now, the danger dared at last,
Look back, and smile at perils past!

III.
And now we reach the favourite glade,
Paled in copsewood, cliff, and stone,
Where never harsher sounds invade,
To break affection's whispering tone,
Than the deep breeze that waves the shade,
Than the small brooklet's feeble moan.
Come! rest thee on thy wonted seat;
Moss'd is the stone, the turf is green,
A place where lovers best may meet
Who would not that their love be seen.
The boughs, that dim the summer sky,
Shall hide us from each lurking spy,
That fain would spread the invidious tale,
How Lucy of the lofty eye,
Noble in birth, in fortunes high,

[...] Read more

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Love of Radha, Lord Krishna!

Radha was Krishna's Love,
Nay, Radha was Krishna's part,
Krishna was Radha heart,
She came dancing to tune of flute,
She was breath of his music,
She filled his Murali with Love divine,
He made her spine his flute,
Chakras become seven holes of flute,
played strange notes, became her light and joy,
Sitting below lean against tree,
with legs stretched like kind loving mother,
She took his head in her lap,
Love talked for hours in silence,
Her face Krishna saw in his own light,
And in her eyes his own figure,
In her heart his own face,
Love is that lamp glowing in her heart,
light of love spread whole world,
even the Sun and moon reflected Radha's love!

He became her smile,
she laughed his hearts joy,
She shed tears of his pain,
Never cared for shame and blame,
Never showed shyness,
As her star like love shines
Sound was there companionship,
Innocent she was about his divinity,
He gave his all to her plain love without vanity!

Radha, Radha was Krishna's breath sounded,
Krishna, Krishna her heart danced,
No jealousy no possessiveness,
Radha was great and her love too,
No touch of selfishness, love's spotless devotion,
Pure was heart without corruption,
Her love revolved around Him,
Just as Earth around the Sun,
Or moon around the earth!
Sometimes she was satellite,
Sometimes she is star or planet,
Her love shined in the sky,
Shaded clouds shy red at dawn and dusk,
Golden sun rays of dawn, adorned her love,
white face of high clouds shy to red,
Black low clouds shed tears when krishna was a bit late,
Cooling the burn,
to put off the fire of longing!

Radha was nature and she was filled with Krishna's spirit,

[...] Read more

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Lynne And Andy

R.E.M.---Lynne Andy
ANDY: Hey!
LYNNE: (laughing) What?
ANDY: Wanna go to Memphis and get married?
[Pause.]
LYNNE: Do I wanna go to Memphis and get married???
ANDY: Mm hmm...
LYNNE: Wha-haa? (Pauses, then changes tone.) Why Memphis?
ANDY: Because Memphis is the wrestling capital of the
world. I'll get up in the ring, and I'll announce that the
I'll marry the FIRST woman who beats me. Then you can get up,
and we'll wrestle, and I'll let you win, and ...
LYNNE: You'll let me win? (laughs.)
ANDY: ... yes, I'll let you win. I'll let you. Then we'll run
off and get married on the David Letterman show.
LYNNE: God.
ANDY: O.K.? (He kisses her.) Whaddaya say?
LYNNE: Is this for real???
[Instrumental]

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Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Fourth Book

THEY met still sooner. 'Twas a year from thence
When Lucy Gresham, the sick semptress girl,
Who sewed by Marian's chair so still and quick,
And leant her head upon the back to cough
More freely when, the mistress turning round,
The others took occasion to laugh out,–
Gave up a last. Among the workers, spoke
A bold girl with black eyebrows and red lips,–
'You know the news? Who's dying, do you think?
Our Lucy Gresham. I expected it
As little as Nell Hart's wedding. Blush not, Nell,
Thy curls be red enough without thy cheeks;
And, some day, there'll be found a man to dote
On red curls.–Lucy Gresham swooned last night,
Dropped sudden in the street while going home;
And now the baker says, who took her up
And laid her by her grandmother in bed,
He'll give her a week to die in. Pass the silk.
Let's hope he gave her a loaf too, within reach,
For otherwise they'll starve before they die,
That funny pair of bedfellows! Miss Bell,
I'll thank you for the scissors. The old crone
Is paralytic–that's the reason why
Our Lucy's thread went faster than her breath,
Which went too quick, we all know. Marian Erle!
Why, Marian Erle, you're not the fool to cry?
Your tears spoil Lady Waldemar's new dress,
You piece of pity!'
Marian rose up straight,
And, breaking through the talk and through the work,
Went outward, in the face of their surprise,
To Lucy's home, to nurse her back to life
Or down to death. She knew by such an act,
All place and grace were forfeit in the house,
Whose mistress would supply the missing hand
With necessary, not inhuman haste,
And take no blame. But pity, too, had dues:
She could not leave a solitary soul
To founder in the dark, while she sate still
And lavished stitches on a lady's hem
As if no other work were paramount.
'Why, God,' thought Marian, 'has a missing hand
This moment; Lucy wants a drink, perhaps.
Let others miss me! never miss me, God!'

So Marian sat by Lucy's bed, content
With duty, and was strong, for recompense,
To hold the lamp of human love arm-high
To catch the death-strained eyes and comfort them,
Until the angels, on the luminous side

[...] Read more

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Jennifer Ever

She always waits for someone
Someone who'll never leave
Reveiling her decision
Her arms cover me
My couple, no one
To anyone believe
She always waits for someone
Someone, someone just like me
Jennifer
Jennifer Ever
Jennifer
Jennifer always tells me
Please don't be afraid
I just want to hold you
I only want you to stay
My couple, no one
To anyone believe
She always waits for someone
Someone, someone just like me
Jennifer
Jennifer Ever
Jennifer
Jennifer
Jennifer Ever
Jennifer
My couple, no one
To anyone believe
She always waits for someone
Someone, someone just like me
Jennifer
Jennifer Ever
Jennifer

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Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker [Controversy Music, ASCAP - 1987]
--------------
Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
She worked the night shift
Dishwater blonde, tall and fine
She got a lot of tips
Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff
In a violent room
Fighting with lovers past
I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
Dorothy was fast
Well, I ordered - "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't 2 hungry"
Dorothy laughed
She said "Sounds like a real man 2 me"
Kinda cute, U wanna take a bath?
(do you wanna, do you wanna, bath)
I said "Cool, but I'm leaving my pants on" (she say)
"Cuz I'm kind of going with someone"
She said "Sounds like a real man 2 me"
"Mind if I turn on the radio?"
"Oh, my favorite song" she said
And it was Joni singing "Help me I think I'm falling"
(Ring)
The phone rang and she said
"Whoever's calling can't be as cute as U"
Right then I knew I was through
(Dorothy Parker was cool)
My pants where wet, they came off
But she didn't see the movie
Cuz she hadn't read the book first
Instead she pretended she was blind
An affliction brought on by a witch's curse
Dorothy made me laugh (ha ha)
I felt much better so I went back
2 the violent room (tell us what U did)
Let me tell U what I did...
I took another bubble bath with my pants on
All the fighting stopped
Next time I'll do it sooner
This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Well
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Well

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How Lucy Backslid

De times is mighty stirrin' 'mong de people up ouah way,
Dey 'sputin' an' dey argyin' an' fussin' night an' day;
An' all dis monst'ous trouble dat hit meks me tiahed to tell
Is 'bout dat Lucy Jackson dat was sich a mighty belle.

She was de preachah's favoured, an' he tol' de chu'ch one night
Dat she travelled thoo de cloud o' sin a-bearin' of a light;
But, now, I 'low he t'inkin' dat she mus' 'a' los' huh lamp,
Case Lucy done backslided an' dey trouble in de camp.

Huh daddy wants to beat huh, but huh mammy daihs him to,
Fu' she lookin' at de question f'om a ooman's pint o' view;
An' she say dat now she would n't have it diff'ent ef she could;
Dat huh darter only acted jes' lak any othah would.

Cose you know w'en women argy, dey is mighty easy led
By dey hea'ts an' don't go foolin' 'bout de reasons of de haid.
So huh mammy laid de law down (she ain' reckernizin' wrong),
But you got to mek erlowance fu' de cause dat go along.

Now de cause dat made Miss Lucy fu' to th'ow huh grace away
I 's afeard won't baih no 'spection w'en hit come to jedgement day;
Do' de same t'ing been a-wo'kin' evah sence de worl' began,--
De ooman disobeyin' fu' to 'tice along a man.

Ef you 'tended de revivals which we held de wintah pas',
You kin rickolec' dat convuts was a-comin' thick an' fas';
But dey ain't no use in talkin', dey was all lef' in de lu'ch
W'en ol' Mis' Jackson's dartah foun' huh peace an' tuk de chu'ch.

W'y, she shouted ovah evah inch of Ebenezah's flo';
Up into de preachah's pulpit an' f'om dah down to de do';
Den she hugged an' squeezed huh mammy, an' she hugged an' kissed

huh dad,
An' she struck out at huh sistah, people said, lak she was mad.

I has 'tended some revivals dat was lively in my day,
An' I 's seed folks git 'uligion in mos' evah kin' o' way;
But I tell you, an' you b'lieve me dat I 's speakin' true indeed,
Dat gal tuk huh 'ligion ha'dah dan de ha'dest yit I 's seed.

Well, f'om dat, 't was 'Sistah Jackson, won't you please do dis er dat?'
She mus' allus sta't de singin' w'en dey 'd pass erroun' de hat,
An' hit seemed dey was n't nuffin' in dat chu'ch dat could go by
'Dout sistah Lucy Jackson had a finger in de pie.

But de sayin' mighty trufeful dat hit easiah to sail
W'en de sea is ca'm an' gentle dan to weathah out a gale.
Dat 's whut made dis ooman's trouble; ef de sto'm had kep' away,

[...] Read more

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Mephisto And Kevin

In 1986, the University of Californa at Davis
saw two of its all-time brightest stars,
Dr. Alphonse Mephisto and Dr. Arnie Abesacraben.
Dr. Mephisto worked hard towards his thesis - his goal
was to genetically duplicate the DNA structure of Asparagus,
so that all Asparagus would grow to the same girth and length,
Giving Asparagus a much more pleasent presentation in the world's
supermarkter vegetable bins.
Dr. Abesacraben's goal was to genetically create the greatest
musical entertainer the world had ever seen.
Dr. Abesacraben knew that if he could assemble the right elements,
he could theoretically build a DNA structure that would ensure
his creation had talent far surpassing the average individual.
At the time, one subject of urban myth was the story that
Michael Jackson - in an effort to maintain his youthful look and
feminie vocal characteristics - had his testicles surgically removed,
thereby making him a modern-day castrato.
If such a rumor were true, Michael Jackson more that likely would have
had some of his semen preserved before the surgery, to ensure his the
future of his name and lineage.
Word came back to Dr. Abesacraben of a secret cold storage locker
deep within the bowels of the UCLA research center, that not only
contained four containers of frozen semen, but also held a pair of
testicles, each was labeled with the name "Jack Michaelson".
I once heard a noise,
In the night the most sensual voice.
Song of love from a eight year-old boy,
Stuck in my head.
And this is what he said:
I am gopher boy!
Pondering reality!
I am gopher boy!
Who will buy my raspberries?
This had to be the seed of the king of pop!
Dr. Abesacraben was able to use his charm and and chissled Greek
feature to woo a young lab technician by the name of Jennifer, who of
course happened to have the proper access needed to obtain a small vial
of the precious semen.
The search for the egg was a short one - Dr. Mephisto simply ran an ad
in the classified section of an airline music magazine.The ad read:
"Wanted: unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment.Donors must
have musical background."With a pleathera of young, eager wanna-be
music starlets willing to sell their eggs, the two doctors - after
rigorous
auditioning - picked... and purchased.
Dr. Abesacraben felt that it would be far less complicated legally if the
fetus were brought to term in the womb of a non-human.He had long since
secured the services of the University volleyball mascot, a llama by the
name of "Missy".
When the baby was ready, the child via cesarean.It was a healthy baby

[...] Read more

song performed by PrimusReport problemRelated quotes
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Mephisto & Kevin

In 1986, the university of californa at davis
Saw two of its all-time brightest stars,
Dr. alphonse mephisto and dr. arnie abesacraben.
Dr. mephisto worked hard towards his thesis - his goal
Was to genetically duplicate the dna structure of asparagus,
So that all asparagus would grow to the same girth and length,
Giving asparagus a much more pleasent presentation in the worlds
Supermarkter vegetable bins.
Dr. abesacrabens goal was to genetically create the greatest
Musical entertainer the world had ever seen.
Dr. abesacraben knew that if he could assemble the right elements,
He could theoretically build a dna structure that would ensure
His creation had talent far surpassing the average individual.
At the time, one subject of urban myth was the story that
Michael jackson - in an effort to maintain his youthful look and
Feminie vocal characteristics - had his testicles surgically removed,
Thereby making him a modern-day castrato.
If such a rumor were true, michael jackson more that likely would have
Had some of his semen preserved before the surgery, to ensure his the
Future of his name and lineage.
Word came back to dr. abesacraben of a secret cold storage locker
Deep within the bowels of the ucla research center, that not only
Contained four containers of frozen semen, but also held a pair of
Testicles, each was labeled with the name jack michaelson.
I once heard a noise,
In the night the most sensual voice.
Song of love from a eight year-old boy,
Stuck in my head.
And this is what he said:
I am gopher boy!
Pondering reality!
I am gopher boy!
Who will buy my raspberries?
This had to be the seed of the king of pop!
Dr. abesacraben was able to use his charm and and chissled greek
Feature to woo a young lab technician by the name of jennifer, who of
Course happened to have the proper access needed to obtain a small vial
Of the precious semen.
The search for the egg was a short one - dr. mephisto simply ran an ad
In the classified section of an airline music magazine. the ad read:
Wanted: unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment. donors must
Have musical background. with a pleathera of young, eager wanna-be
Music starlets willing to sell their eggs, the two doctors - after
Rigorous
Auditioning - picked... and purchased.
Dr. abesacraben felt that it would be far less complicated legally if the
Fetus were brought to term in the womb of a non-human. he had long since
Secured the services of the university volleyball mascot, a llama by the
Name of missy.
When the baby was ready, the child via cesarean. it was a healthy baby

[...] Read more

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Peace On Earth - Little Drummer Boy

David: hello...... youre the new butler?
Bing: hahaha! well, its been a long time since Ive been the new anything!
David: whats happened to hudson?
Bing: I guess hes changing.
David: yeah, he does that a lot, doesnt he? uhm... oh, Im david bowie, I live
Down the road.
Bing: oh!
David: sir percival lets me use his piano if he not around. hes not around, is
He?
Bing: I can honestly say I havent seen him, but come on in! come in!
David: but uh...
Bing: come on in!
David: are you related to sir percival?
Bing: well, distantly...
David: oh, youre not the poor relation from america, right?
Bing: ha! gee... news sure travels fast, doesnt it? Im bing.
David: oh, Im pleased to meet you. youre the one that sings, right?
Bing: well, right or wrong, I sing either way.
David: oh well, I sing too.
Bing: oh good! what kind of singing?
David: mostly the contemporary stuff. do you eh... do you like modern music?
Bing: oh, I think its marvellous! some of its really fine. but tell me, have you ever listened to any of the older fellows?
David: oh yeah, sure. I like ah... john lennon and the other one with eh...harry
Nilsson.
Bing: mmm... you go back that far, uh?
David: yeah, Im not as young as I look.
Bing: haha, none of us is these days!
David: in fact Ive got a six year old son. and he really gets excited around the christmas holiday-thing.
Bing: do you go in for anything of the traditional things in the... boy, household, christmas time?
David: oh yeah, most of them really. presents, tree, decorations, agents sliding down the chimney...
Bing: what? ?
David: oh, I was just seeing if you were paying attention.
Bing: haha!
David: actually, our family do most of the things that other families do. we
Sing the same songs.
Bing: do you?
David: oh, I even have a go at white christmas.
Bing: you do, eh!
David: and this one. this is my sons favourite. do you know this one?
Bing: oh, I do indeed, its a lovely theme.
And they told me pa-ram-pam-pam-pam
A new-born king to see pa-ram-pam-pam-pam
Our finest gifts we bring pa-ram-pam-pam-pam
Ra-pam-pam-pam, ra-pam-pam-pam
Peace on earth, can it be
Years from now, perhaps well see
See the day of glory
See the day, when men of good will
Live in peace, live in peace again
Peace on earth, can it be

[...] Read more

song performed by David BowieReport problemRelated quotes
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