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You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

quote by Mark Russell
Added by Lucian Velea
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Adrienne Vittadini

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[...] Read more

poem by Caasder Fronds
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Ford O' Kabul River

Kabul town's by Kabul river --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
There I lef' my mate for ever,
Wet an' drippin' by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
There's the river up and brimmin', an' there's 'arf a squadron swimmin'
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town's a blasted place --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Strewth I sha'n't forget 'is face
Wet an' drippin' by the ford!
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
Keep the crossing-stakes beside you, an' they will surely guide you
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town is sun and dust --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
I'd ha' sooner drownded fust
'Stead of 'im beside the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
You can 'ear the 'orses threshin', you can 'ear the men a-splashin',
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town was ours to take --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
I'd ha' left it for 'is sake --
'Im that left me by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
It's none so bloomin' dry there; ain't you never comin' nigh there,
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark?

Kabul town'll go to hell --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Fore I see him 'live an' well --
'Im the best beside the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
Gawd 'elp 'em if they blunder, for their boots'll pull 'em under,
By the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Turn your 'orse from Kabul town --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Im an' 'arf my troop is down,
Down an' drownded by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,

[...] Read more

poem by Rudyard Kipling
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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Trouble

No attorneys
To plead my case
No orbits
To send me into outta space
And my fingers
Are bejeweled
With diamonds and gold
But that ain't gonna help me now
I'm trouble
Yeah trouble now
I'm trouble ya'll
I disturb my town
I'm trouble
Yeah trouble now
I'm trouble ya'll
I got trouble in my town
You think your right
But you were wrong
You tried to take me
But I knew all along
You can take me
For a ride
I'm not a fool out
So you better run and hide
I'm trouble
Yeah trouble now
I'm trouble ya'll
I got trouble in my town
I'm trouble
Yeah trouble now
I'm trouble ya'll
I got trouble in my town
If you see me coming
Down the street then
You know it's time to
Go (and you know it's time to go
cause here comes trouble)
No attorneys
To plead my case
No orbits
To send me into outta space
And my fingers
Are bejeweled
With diamonds and gold
But that ain't gonna help me now
You think your right
But you were wrong
You tried to take me
But I knew all along
You can take me

[...] Read more

song performed by Pink
Added by Lucian Velea
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Trouble

Trouble in the city, trouble in the farm,
You got your rabbits foot, you got your good-luck charm.
But they cant help you none when theres trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
Trouble in the water, trouble in the air,
Go all the way to the other side of the world, youll find trouble there.
Revolution even aint no solution for trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
Drought and starvation, packaging of the soul,
Persecution, execution, governments out of control.
You can see the writing on the wall inviting trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
Put your ear to the train tracks, put your ear to the ground,
You ever feel like youre never alone even when theres nobody else around?
Since the beginning of the universe mans been cursed by trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
Nightclubs of the broken-hearted, stadiums of the damned,
Legislature, perverted nature, doors that are rudely slammed.
Look into infinity, all you see is trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.

song performed by Bob Dylan
Added by Lucian Velea
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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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No More Trouble (feat. Erykah Badu)

[Bob Marley]
(We don't need) No, we don't need (no more trouble) no more trouble!
(We don't need no more trouble)
Wo! Oh-oh-oh!
(We don't need) We don't need no (no more) trouble!
We don't need no trouble!
(We don't need no more trouble)
Make love and not war! 'Cause we don't need no trouble.
What we need is love (love)
To guide and protect us on. (on)
If you hope good down from above, (love)
Help the weak if you are strong now. (love)
We don't need no trouble;
What we need is love. Oh, no!
We don't need - we don't need - no more trouble!
Lord knows, we don't need no trouble!
(We don't need) We don't need trouble (no more trouble) -
no more trouble - no more trouble!
Seek happiness! (...) Oh, ...!
Come on, you all and speak of love. (...) Oh, yeah!
We don't need no trouble;
What we need is love, now. (What we need is love!)
(We don't need) Oh, we don't need no more trouble!
We don't need, no - we don't need no trouble!
We don't (need) - no, brothers and sisters ... (no more trouble!)
We don't need no trouble; we don't need no trouble!
We don't need no trouble!
What we need is love!
We don't need - we don't need no more - we don't need -
no more trouble - we don't need no more trouble!
Trouble we don't need (we don't need),
(We don't need) Lord, knows! -
we don't need no more war (no more trouble).
No more trouble - we don't need no more - more trouble! /fadeout/

song performed by Bob Marley
Added by Lucian Velea
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High Price

Jerry Jerry your lifestyles hairy
how do your dope plants grow?
In cramped ceiling, under a naked bulb, my lady,
from little seeds all in a row.

Jerry Jerry your rather smelly
how are your dope plants sold?
By bountiful bagful, or in single rolls, to tally
Waitangi gold, is a trip, for joint discerning bold.

Jerry Jerry do you live in fear
do you feel hunted, with pouncing, policemen near?
The boys in blue, dance a merry, merry tune.
What’s a bust, may come yearly, like June?

Jerry Jerry one day all grow old
will you feel regret, for lives, you’ve sold?
I’ve been living high, flying in narcotic, sky seat.
Life’s been so very sweet, living with prepaid, heat.

Jerry Jerry a future comes, your days done,
there’s no place for you, under our sun?
There’s always a place, man in selective, supplying know.
There’re other trips, after poppy seeds, to sow.

Jerry Jerry it’s time now, you must go
tell of other pastures, you now will hoe?
Man’s full of lust, greed, ever fertile seed,
a high paying price, is charge for need.

No matter where man chance may roam.
A place is found, I’m right at home.

poem by Terence George Craddock
Added by Poetry Lover
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Trouble

I got a letter in the mail sayin' I'm gonna go to jail
Someone's got an axe
Lookin' it out for me
Well I was feelin' pretty nice didn't have to think twice
Finders keepers baby, keep it away from me
You got nothin' that I need
Stay away from me
I'll quicken your pace to heaven
You try to give me your lot
Well I hope you rot
Gonna tell the devil about you
You're gettin' me in trouble
You're gettin' me in trou...
Gettin' me in trouble
Every day and night
I'm alright
Well I'm a high speed king I never think about a thing
All I can do is moan
Everybody takes a turn from the trash I have learned
But why the hard way for me, I don't know
I'm gonna get you back
Stab you in the fat
I'll make you wish you never met me
I gonna make you sing the blues
You're gonna lose
Show you what you got yourself into
You're gettin' me in trouble
You're Gettin' me in trouble
Gettin' me in trouble
Every day and night
I'm all...
You try to put the weight of the world
On top of my shoulders
You got to know that you're a little girl
Who wants to feel older, feel older (watch out)
Trouble, yeah
Trouble, yeah yeah
I'm in trouble baby (oh yeah)
You're gettin' me in trouble
Gettin' me in trouble
Gettin' me in trouble
Every day and night
I'm in trouble, trouble, trouble (alright)
I'm in trouble, trouble, trouble
Trouble, trouble, trouble
Trouble, trouble, trouble

song performed by Quiet Riot
Added by Lucian Velea
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911 Is A Joke

Now I dialed nine one one a long time ago
Dont you see how late theyre reactin
They only come, and they come when they wanna
So get the morgue truck em back the goner
They dont care cause they stay paid anyway
They treat you like an ace that cant be betrayed
I know you stumble with no use people
If your life is on the line, then youre dead today
Late comings with the late comin stretcher -
Thats a body bag in disguise - yall Ill betcha
I call em body snatchers
Quick they come to fetch you -
With an autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya
They are the kings cos they swing amputation
Lose your arms your legs the famous compilation
I can prove it to you watch the rotation
It all adds up to a funky situation
Get up, get get down
911 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get get down
Late 911 wears the late crown
(chorus)
(ow)
911 is a joke , 911 is a joke
Everyday they dont never come correct
You can ask my man right here with the broken neck
Hes a witness to the job never bein done
He wouldve been in full effect , 911
Is a joke because their always jokin
They the token to your life when its croakin
They need to be in a pawn shop on a 911 -
Is a joke we dont want em
I call a cab cause a cab will come quicker
The doctors huddle up and call a flea flicker
The reason that I say that cause they
Flick you off like fleas
They be laughin at ya while youre crawlin on our knees
And to the strength, so go the length
Thinkin you are first when you really are tenth
You better wake up and smell the real flavor
Cause 911 is a fake life saver
(chorus) (chorus)
Ow, ow 911 is a joke
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke.
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke

[...] Read more

song performed by Duran Duran
Added by Lucian Velea
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Trouble

Trouble came around here
Here in the south we fix something to eat
Steam risin up off the greenery
And we welcome the strangers we meet
Alien sick growing in these walls
Like moss in a crack that time made
I brush a guy in the airport
Whistling its a small world after all
And the prices are higher
But the kids still selling lemonade
Get to the point of it
(get to the point of it)
Get to the sense of it
(get to the sense of it)
Im in a hurry
To get through it
I am in trouble
(I am in trouble)
I am in trouble
(I am in trouble)
A hurricane flag flappin in a bad storm
Same color of the spider underneath my nail that bit me in my dream
And who would take out the dominican republic
And send gods sweet children floating down a poison stream
A secret society of conference rooms
I pledge my allegiance to the dollar
And when the clergy take a vote oh the gays will pay again
Yeah cause theres more than one kind of criminal white collar
So get to the point of it
(get to the point of it)
Get to the sense of it
(get to the sense of it)
Im in a hurry to get through it
One day the war will stop
And well grow a peaceful crop
And a girl can get a wife
And we can bring you back to life
Sacks of flour and rice or poker chips
Greasy palms or systems underhanding
(...shelter...)
And maybe well take a walk on pluto
Yeah but be no closer to the understanding
(...what I wish...)
Get to the point of it
(get to the point of it)
Get to the sense of it
(get to the sense of it)
Im in a hurry to get through it
Yeah
I am in trouble

[...] Read more

song performed by Indigo Girls
Added by Lucian Velea
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Demonstrate (Admiral Jerry)

Well Jerry at de mike come fe Demonstrate
Yes, Jerry at de mike me come fe Demonstrate
Me come fe show de crowd a people dat great is great
Right ya now Mr Jerry at go set tings straight
No MC test Jerry in a ATE
So listen dem ya styles I man originate
First of all me wan you know me na exaggerate
All pirate in de dance me would a evacuate
Is a whole leap a space I man accomodate
An a whole leap a gal I accumulate
Round de mile Jerry don't need no associate
Me chat by meself me no combinate
Me study very hard because me want graduate
Up de MC ladder I man Essulate
To be a boss MC I'm a chief candidate
True me fascinate nor irritate and me originate
Round de classic Micro-centre dat is where me locate
Me no select no tune an Jerry don't operate
Fe see me lift speaker - box you must fortunate
Cause asdedance down me gone home me gone go hibernate
Going home de other night me can't remember de date
De early hours of de morning before people a wake
Bopsing down de road it was me worst mistake
Police come draw down pon me an a investigate
Him say "Hey son where you coming from don't you know that it's late
I've heard about you niggers and the trouble you create"
I said "I'm coming from a party and me going home straight
Me just stop a de shop to buy some cigarette an chocolate"
When me explain de situation him stop interrogate
Turn around jump in a im panda car an say "See you mate!"
Is a good ting me never cheeky or be obstinate
Or me could a end up visiting de damn magistrate
De house way me live in you know it must decorate
An de girl way me love ave to affectionate
Nem ya linda lyrics you must penetrate
So listen every word I man and quotate
True me talking very clear you no need fe translate
Cause when me riding pon de riddim me no mek no mistake
Gasst contagious disease I man vaccinate
An true me no wan catch a dose me no fornicate
De lyrics way me chat dem must varinte
Some time me chat itslow sometime me accelerate
Dem ya kinds style you must appreciate
Nuff gal come to me a congratulate
Dem say "Jerry your so good looking can I have you portrait"
I say "Yes of course my darling but you know you have to wait"
Well dais a something I man have to state
A trollop is a woman with a whole heap a weight
Don't tell her to her face cause she will aggrovate
And if she sit down pon you you will suffocate

[...] Read more

song performed by Ub40
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Fee

This tree has no trouble
And I have no trouble.

I have no trouble
With this trouble-free tree.

This trouble-free tree
has no trouble
With a trouble-free me.

This trouble-free tree
has no trouble. This tree
has no trouble.

And I have no trouble
With a trouble-free me.

But were I to be free
Of a trouble-free me,
This trouble-free tree
Spells trouble for me.

Were this tree to be free
Of this trouble-free tree,
There might even be
A real trouble-spree.

This is to say, “See,
Trouble exacts a fee:
A price (in fact) to see
This trouble-free tree.”

[5-23-07 Berkeley]

poem by David Floren
Added by Poetry Lover
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Double Trouble

They got a line on you,
Little bit of trouble too,
You got, some jets inside,
Cherry lips, and delirious eyes.
You get in trouble,
And it keeps you down,
Double trouble.
You get in trouble,
And you come to town,
Double trouble,
Oh yea
They better chain your hands,
And you, spread some evil,
Pick and pan.
Hey, you sure got,
Some jets inside,
But you got a little,
With those empty eyes
You get in trouble,
And it keeps you down,
Double trouble,
You get in trouble
And you come to town,
Double trouble,
Oh yea
Youve got (got),
Some jets inside,
Baby, broken promises,
Broken pride
You get in trouble
And it keeps you down,
Double trouble.
You get in trouble,
And you come to town,
Double trouble,
Oh yeah,
You got some trouble,
(double trouble)
And it keeps you down,
Double trouble,
You get in trouble,
And you come to town
Double trouble,
That double trouble,
Oh yeah.

song performed by Cars
Added by Lucian Velea
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Timber Ho!

Im gonna pull this timber 'fore the sun go down
Get it 'cross the river 'fore the bars come down
Drag it on down that dusty road
Come on jerry, lets dump this load
I said timber, ho!, timber, woah this timbers gotta roll
I said timber, ho!, timber, woah this timbers gotta roll
My old jerry was an arkansas mule
Been everywhere and he aint no fool
Weighed nine hundred and twenty-two
Done everything a poor mule can do
(chorus)
Jerrys shoulders stood six foot tall
Pulled more timber than a freight could haul
Workin heavy old jerry got sore
Pulled so much he couldnt pull no more
(chorus)
The boss said jerry and it made him jump
Jerry ran and kicked the boss on the rump
My old jerry was a cool mule
Had it been me I woulda killed that fool
Boss tried to shoot old jerry in the head
Jerry took that bullet and he stomped him dead
Stomped that boss til he heard him scream
Sure dont care he was so damn mean
(chorus 2x)

song performed by Phish
Added by Lucian Velea
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Rob Ford 2... Nov 29th,2012

ROB FORD 2... Nov 29th,2012
by
James Bredin

If we don't get Rob Ford back as mayor; we're ruined for sure,
God only knows what the other idiots will do to make us poor,
They might like insite clinics or those doing drugs and crack,
Therefore we need Rob Ford in office to keep Toronto on track.

We like Rob Ford because he's our kinda good guy,
The left-wingers didn't like him and forced him to say goodbye,
Used the courts and a judge to force him out the door,
As if Rob Ford was some sort of criminal bore.

The media has been filled with Rob Ford stuff for several weeks,
Telling Rob Ford stories and his various techniques,
Which goes to show that some can be a very vindictive bunch,
If they get the keys to Rob Ford's office, we will feel the crunch.

Nov 29th,2012

poem by James Bredin
Added by Poetry Lover
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Trouble You Cant Fool Me

(f. knight/a. varnell)
(c) - (f) - (g)
(c) trouble you cant fool me (f) I see you behind that tree
(c) trouble you cant fool me (g) trying to get the ups on me
(c) trouble you cant fool me (f) I see you behind that tree
(c) you want to (f) jump (g) on (c) me
Work hard for living, wanted just to get paid
But, sured be stealing for a year and a day
Would like to see a little sunshine, just to guide my way
Would like to have a little peace of mind
Thats why I wanna say you better look out !
Trouble you cant fool me I see you behind that tree
Look out! trouble you cant fool me trying to get the ups on me
Trouble you cant fool me I see you behind that tree
You want to jump on me
Trouble taught me a lesson I never never will forget
Now, he took my love, she aint paid it back yet
I had to find another just to take her place
And I sure do love her, I said were doing ok
So look out!
Trouble you cant fool me I see you behind that tree
Look out! trouble you cant fool me trying to get the ups on me
Trouble you cant fool me I see you behind that tree
You want to jump on me
Well, you know, everyday cant be sunday [thats right!]
Its a funny thing, it seem just before daylight is your darkest hour
And you know one thing [whats that ? ] behind every silver lining, there isnt a dark cloud
[and you just aint got time to go round subtracting and adding cause youll just be too late]
You know one thing ? [whats that ? ]
Every time you get around a tree, you better stop and grab a brick [why ? ]
Old man trouble... laying and waiting on you
Thats what I wanna say...
Trouble you cant fool me I see you behind that tree
Look out! trouble you cant fool me trying to get the ups on me
Trouble you cant fool me I see you behind that tree
You want to jump on me
Trouble took my money, cadillacs gone
Best suit of clothes, all raised up in the closet, oh lord
But Im so glad
Trouble dont last ...always
You cant fool me

song performed by Ry Cooder
Added by Lucian Velea
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Trouble

I only know you by reputation
It's time I found out face to face
'cause if your sugar, I'll fight temptation
But if you're poison, I need a taste
(1st Chorus)
Girl, I heard you're Trouble with a capital "T"
One look in your eye spells trouble to me
We're talkin' danger, just too blind to see
You're Trouble just waitin' to happen to me!...Trouble...I'm talkin' Trouble!
I'm not the first, no, I've got to face it
But I ain't the last to take the bait
A silver spoon hangs on your bracelet
T-R-B-L on your license plate
(2nd chorus)
Girl, I heard you're Trouble with a capital "T"
I'm new here in town, come on and spell it out for me
We're talkin bad news, I been too blind to see
You're Trouble just waitin' to happen to me!.......Trouble.....
...you're gettin closer, baby
....I see Trouble..
....Trouble's comin over me....
...Yeah, with a capital "T"
T-R-O-U-B-L-E...it's Trouble!
I only know you by reputation
It's time I found out, baby, face to face
'cause if your sugar, I'll fight temptation
But if you're poison, I need a little taste
Tell me, baby, how bad is bad
How mad is mad
Girl, are you all that they say
Yeah, just one touch, is a touch too much
Just one hit goes straight to my head
(3rd Chorus)
Girl, I heard you're Trouble with a capital "T"
One look in your eye spells trouble to me
We're talkin' bad news, I been too blind to see
You're Trouble just waitin' to happen to me!...
We're talkin Trouble...
Bad news....(...yes I'm a victim)
Oh, you're Trouble just happens to me...(here she comes!)

song performed by 38 Special
Added by Lucian Velea
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Trouble

I dont wanna move when Im in your hands
Theres nothing I can do or say
Put everything on hold, cancelled all my plans
Tell everybody Im away, hey
She may be bad but she feels so good
Ill give her anything she wants
Shes trouble, I know it
She only needs to touch me
Im in trouble, I know it
Shes trouble, I love it
I know that when she does it
Im in trouble, I know it
I never know whats running trough her mind
No tellin what shes gonna do
Her every move is like a dancer sign
Darlin me to come on through, hey
She may be bad but she feels so good
Ill give her anything she wants
Shes trouble, I know it
She only needs to touch me
Im in trouble, I know it
Shes trouble, I love it
I know that when she does it
Im in trouble, I know it
Shes trouble
She knows what I like
I got a feeling Im fallin
(youre in trouble)
Trouble, theres no hope in sight
Im in way overmy head
Shes trouble, I know it
She only needs to touch me
Im in trouble, I know it
Shes trouble, I love it
I know that when she does it
Im in trouble, I know it
I know it
[repeat to fade]

song performed by Michael Jackson
Added by Lucian Velea
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No More Trouble

Artist: erykah badu and bob marley
*news coverage at the beginning*
[all]
We dont need no more trouble
We dont need no more trouble
[erykah]
What we need is love (love)
To guide and protect us all (all)
If you hope good down from above (love)
Help the weak if you are strong now (strong)
[bob]
We dont need no trouble
What we need is love
[all]
We dont need no more trouble
We dont need no more trouble
[erykah]
Weeping for the living
Weeping for the dead
Weep for one another
Weep for happiness
Weeping for the struggle
Weeping for the pain
Weeping for the children
We must take the blame
[bob]
Seek happiness
(its sad enough without your foes)
Come on, you all and speak of love
(its sad enough without your foes)
We dont need no trouble
What we need is love now
(what we need is love, sweet love)
[all]
We dont need no more trouble
We dont need no more trouble
[erykah]
Now end the war which you just begun
Its sad enough without your foes
I thought I told you not to mess with me
Dont want no trouble but trouble found me
But marley saying speak of love not war
But we be trying but then eh we dont
[bob]
Oh we dont need no trouble
We dont need no trouble
[all]
We dont need no more trouble
We dont need no more trouble
(make love and not war cause we dont need no trouble)

[...] Read more

song performed by Erykah Badu
Added by Lucian Velea
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