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Every decade needs its own manual of handicraft.

quote by Liberty Hyde Bailey
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Social Netowrking Of Robots

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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Everybody Needs A 303

Check this out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
Check this out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
Everybody needs love
Everybody needs love
Check this out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
Everybody needs love
Everybody needs love
Check this out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
This out
Everybody needs love
Everybody needs love
Everybody needs love
Everybody needs love
Needs love
Needs love

[...] Read more

song performed by Fatboy Slim
Added by Lucian Velea
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The World Needs Peace And Love

The world needs peace, the world needs love.
Muslims and Christians are all alike.
The world needs peace, the world needs love.
We don't need another airstrike.

The world needs peace, the world needs love.
People of all colors must be one.
The world needs peace, the world needs love.
All sorts of violence must be gone.

The world needs peace, the world needs love.
Stop killing our brothers and sisters!
The world needs peace, the world needs love.
Stop all these bullshit wars!

The world needs peace, the world needs love.
Stop terrorism, please.
The world needs peace, the world needs love.
Let our children live to the fullest.

The world needs peace, the world needs love.
We must stand together for better world.
The world needs peace, the world needs love.
We are the children of God.

The world needs peace and love...

poem by Alon Calinao Dy
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I'm Guided By...Life!

My needs are overheating and exceeds excessive feeding.
Yes my needs are overheating and exceeds excessive feeding.

Tonight,
I'm guided by...
Life!
I'm driven by...
Desire!
And finding it right,
Tonight.

Surrender,
I might...
To your delight.
And excited I am...
With you,
Tonight!
And...
Forever.

My needs are overheating and exceeds excessive feeding.
Yes my needs are overheating and exceeds excessive feeding.

Tonight,
I'm guided by...
Life!
I'm driven by...
Desire!
And finding it right,
Tonight...

My needs are overheating and exceeds excessive feeding.
Yes my needs are overheating and exceeds excessive feeding.
Yes my needs are overheating.
Yes my needs are overheating...
Tonight.
My needs are heating.
Yes my needs are overheating.
Tonight.
My needs are heating.
Yes my needs are overheating.
Tonight,
I'm guded by...
Life!
Tonight,
I'm driven by...
Desire!

Yes my needs are overheating.
Yes my needs are overheating.

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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For Once In My Life

For once in my life I have someone who needs me,
Someone I needed so long
For once unafraid I can go where love leads me,
Somehow I know Ill be strong
For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew (long before I knew)
Someone warm like you
You make my dreams come true
For once in my life I wont let sorrow hurt me
Not like its hurt me before (not like its hurt before)
For once I have someone I know want deserve me
Im not alone anymore
For once I can say this is my new ? ticket
As long as I know I have love I can make it
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
(someone who needs me),
For once in my life (someone who needs me)
For once in my life
For once in my life I wont let sorrow hurt me
Not like its hurt me before (not like its hurt before)
For once I have someone I know want deserve me
Im not alone anymore
For once I can say this is my new ? ticket
Long as I know I have love I can make it
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
(for once Ive someone who needs me)
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
(someone who needs me)
For once in my life (someone who needs me)
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
For once in my life I have someone who needs me
For once in my life I have someone who needs me

song performed by Garth Brooks
Added by Lucian Velea
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In My Mind Am I My Enemy

If I get upset.
Regret those limits met.
In my mind am I...
My,
Enemy?

You,
Can't free me!
No way.
Until,
I know...
What that freedom means,
To me!

You,
Can't free me!
No way.
Until,
I know...
What that freedom means,
To me!

If I live in doubt.
And voice this from my mouth,
From dawn until the night falls...
Am,
I...
Free?

If I get upset.
Regret those limits met.
In my mind am I...
My,
Enemy?

If I live in doubt.
Are my needs freed?
And voice this from my mouth.
Are my needs freed?
If I get upset.
Are my needs freed?
Regret those limits met.
Are my needs freed?

If I live in doubt.
Are my needs freed?
And voice this from my mouth.
Are my needs freed?
If I get upset.
Are my needs freed?

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Helping Hand

Chorus:
Everybody needs a helping hand
Take a look at your fellow man
And tell me what can I do today
cause everybody needs a helping out
If that aint what its all about
Tell me what
What can I do
What can I do today
Weve all seen trouble from time to time
There is a mountain ahead
Ive got no strength to climb, hey
If youre feeling that youre strong
Reach out to me
I hope this journey wont take long
But wont you please
Have mercy
(repeat chorus)
What can I do today
Im talking bout the soul all alone
Needing the daily bread
Someplace to lay his head, yeah, hey
And Im talking about the neighbor on your street
Wont you look him in the eye
Take time to speak
Thats mercy, yeah, cause...
(repeat chorus)
Love one another
Sister and brother
Love is the only way, hey
(repeat chorus twice)
What can I do today
Everybody needs a helpin, helpin
Everybody needs a helping hand
Everybody needs a helpin, helpin
Everybody needs a helping hand
Everybody needs a helping hand
Everybody needs it, oh, everybody needs it
Everybody needs a helping hand
Oh, everybody needs it, oh, yeah, oh, everybody needs it
Oh, yeah, everybody needs a helping hand
Everybody needs it, oh, everybody needs it
Everybody needs a helping hand
Everybody needs it

song performed by Amy Grant
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Give This Child What She Needs

Give this child what she needs
Love
Give this child what she needs
Shelter
Give this child what she needs
Prayers
Give this child what she needs
Some food and water
Give this child what she needs
Good parents
Give this child what she needs
Good manors
Give this child what she needs
A smoke free home
Give this child what she needs
Peace and happiness
Give this child what she needs
To know God
Give this child what she needs
Your guidance
Give this child what she needs
Clothes
Give this child what she needs
Your support
Give this child what she needs
Some family time
Give this child what she needs
A nice bath every day
Give this child what she needs
Some discipline
Give this child what she needs
A warm bed to sleep on

poem by Aldo Kraas
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Clancy Of The Mounted Police

In the little Crimson Manual it's written plain and clear
That who would wear the scarlet coat shall say good-bye to fear;
Shall be a guardian of the right, a sleuth-hound of the trail--
In the little Crimson Manual there's no such word as "fail"--
Shall follow on though heavens fall, or hell's top-turrets freeze,
Half round the world, if need there be, on bleeding hands and knees.
It's duty, duty, first and last, the Crimson Manual saith;
The Scarlet Rider makes reply: "It's duty--to the death."
And so they sweep the solitudes, free men from all the earth;
And so they sentinel the woods, the wilds that know their worth;
And so they scour the startled plains and mock at hurt and pain,
And read their Crimson Manual, and find their duty plain.
Knights of the lists of unrenown, born of the frontier's need,
Disdainful of the spoken word, exultant in the deed;
Unconscious heroes of the waste, proud players of the game,
Props of the power behind the throne, upholders of the name:
For thus the Great White Chief hath said, "In all my lands be peace",
And to maintain his word he gave his West the Scarlet Police.

Livid-lipped was the valley, still as the grave of God;
Misty shadows of mountain thinned into mists of cloud;
Corpselike and stark was the land, with a quiet that crushed and awed,
And the stars of the weird sub-arctic glimmered over its shroud.

Deep in the trench of the valley two men stationed the Post,
Seymour and Clancy the reckless, fresh from the long patrol;
Seymour, the sergeant, and Clancy--Clancy who made his boast
He could cinch like a bronco the Northland, and cling to the prongs of the Pole.

Two lone men on detachment, standing for law on the trail;
Undismayed in the vastness, wise with the wisdom of old--
Out of the night hailed a half-breed telling a pitiful tale,
"White man starving and crazy on the banks of the Nordenscold."

Up sprang the red-haired Clancy, lean and eager of eye;
Loaded the long toboggan, strapped each dog at its post;
Whirled his lash at the leader; then, with a whoop and a cry,
Into the Great White Silence faded away like a ghost.

The clouds were a misty shadow, the hills were a shadowy mist;
Sunless, voiceless and pulseless, the day was a dream of woe;
Through the ice-rifts the river smoked and bubbled and hissed;
Behind was a trail fresh broken, in front the untrodden snow.

Ahead of the dogs ploughed Clancy, haloed by steaming breath;
Through peril of open water, through ache of insensate cold;
Up rivers wantonly winding in a land affianced to death,
Till he came to a cowering cabin on the banks of the Nordenscold.

Then Clancy loosed his revolver, and he strode through the open door;

[...] Read more

poem by Robert William Service
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Need

It needs courage to hope
It needs more when hope fails
It needs more and more to dare and hope again 

It needs will to live
It needs more when it goes down 
It needs more and more to raise up again

It needs strength to believe
It needs more when temptation comes
It needs more and more to stay faithful

It needs freedom to dream
It needs more when it is lost
It needs more and more to break the border

It needs heart to feel
It needs more when it is confusing
It needs more and more to admit the feeling

poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Your Disco Needs You

Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Desperately seeking someone willing to travel
Youre lost in conversation and useless at scrabble
Happiness will never last darkness comes to kick your ass
So lets dance through all our fears
War is over for a bit
The whole world should be moving do your part
Cure a lonely heart
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Were sold on vanity but thats so see through (see through)
Take your body to the floor, your disco needs you
From soho to singapore, from the mainlands to the shore
So lets dance through all our fears
War is over for a bit, youre a slave to the rhythm do your part
Cure a lonely heart
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Ah-aaaahhhhhhh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Ah-aaaahhhhhhh
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Ah-aaaahhhhhhh
So lets dance through all our fears
War is over for a bit, the whole world should be moving do your part
Cure a lonely heart
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you!
Your disco, your disco, your disco..
Needs... you!

song performed by Kylie Minogue
Added by Lucian Velea
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Respect

For reasons I dont know I treated you so cold
I wish I had those times again
Cause something that you said keeps ringing in my head
Someday youre gonna wanna come back and youre gonna wanna treat me fine
Everybody needs a little respect
Everybody needs a little time
Everybody needs a little respect
Everybody needs a little
I watched me push you down in dreams I had of you
And all I remember about those days is I would run around thinking that youd be alright
But you lost your light along the way
And oh you were right about the things Id say
Cause if I had it back again I know Id treat you kind
Everybody needs a little respect
Everybody needs a little time
Everybody needs a little respect
Everybody needs a little time
Everybody got to have somebody
Everybody got to have someone
And all I ever wanted from this play
Was someone to talk to when I get down
It seems you get the things you give along the way
Now all I need is one more chance to make you feel like hanging round
Everybody needs a little
Everybody needs a little
Everybody needs a little respect
Everybody needs a little time
Everybody needs a little respect
Everybody needs a little time
Everybody
Everybody got to have someone

song performed by Train
Added by Lucian Velea
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Oh! Mr. Malthus!

"Mother, Mother, here comes Malthus,
Mother, hold me tight!
Look! It's Mr. Malthus, Mother!
Hide me out of sight."
This was the cry of little Jane
In bed she moaning lay,
Delirious with Stomach Pain,
That would not go away.
All because her small Existence
Over-pressed upon Subsistence;
Human Numbers didn't need her;
Human Effort couldn't feed her.
Little Janie didn't know
The Geometric Ratio.
Poor Wee Janie had never done
Course Economics No. 1;
Never reached in Education
Theories of Population, --
Theories which tend to show
Just how far our Food will go,
Mathematically found
Just enough to go around.
This, my little Jane, is why
Pauper Children have to die.
Pauper Children underfed
Die delirious in Bed;
Thus at Malthus's Command
Match Supply with true Demand.
Jane who should have gently died
Started up and wildly cried, --

"Look, mother, look, he's there again
I see him at the Window Pane,
Father, -- don't let him, -- he's behind
That shadow on the window blind, --"
In vain the anxious parents soothe, --
What can avail their useless Love?
"Darling, lie down again; don't mind;
Branches are moving in the Wind."
With panting Breath, with Eyes that stare,
Again she cries, "He's there, he's there!"
The frightened Parents look, aghast,
Is it that something really passed?
What is it that they seem to scan,
Ghost or Abstraction, Dream or Man? --
That long drawn Face, the cloven Lip,
The crooked Fingers all a-grip,
The sunken Face, cadaverous,
The dress, Ah, God deliver us!
What awful Sacrilege is that?

[...] Read more

poem by Stephen Leacock
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Jeanny Needs A Shooter

I was born down by the river
Where the dirty river flows
And the cool wind cut through me
It cut right through my clothes
And the anger and the yearning
Like fever in my veins
Set the fire burning
She came down from knightstown
With her hands hard from the line
From the first time I laid eyes on her
I knew that shes be mine
Her father was a lawman
He swore hed shoot me dead
cause he knew I wanted jeannie
And Id have her like Id said
Jeannie needs a shooter, shooter like me
Jeannie needs a shooter
Jeannie needs a shooter, shooter on her side
Jeannie needs a shooter
Jeannie needs a shooter
Jeannie needs a shooter
We met down by the river
On the final day in may
And when I leaned down to kiss her
She did not turn away
I drew out all my money
And together we did vow
To meet that very evening
And to get away somehow
Jeannie needs a shooter, shooter like me
Jeannie needs a shooter
Jeannie needs a shooter, shooter on her side
Jeannie needs a shooter
Jeannie needs a shooter
Jeannie needs a shooter
The night was cold and rainy
Down by the borderline
I was riding hard to meet her
When a shot rang out behind
As I lay there in the darkness
With a pistol by my side
Jeannie and her father
Rode off into the night
Jeannie needs a shooter

song performed by Bruce Springsteen
Added by Lucian Velea
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XI. Guido

You are the Cardinal Acciaiuoli, and you,
Abate Panciatichi—two good Tuscan names:
Acciaiuoli—ah, your ancestor it was
Built the huge battlemented convent-block
Over the little forky flashing Greve
That takes the quick turn at the foot o' the hill
Just as one first sees Florence: oh those days!
'T is Ema, though, the other rivulet,
The one-arched brown brick bridge yawns over,—yes,
Gallop and go five minutes, and you gain
The Roman Gate from where the Ema's bridged:
Kingfishers fly there: how I see the bend
O'erturreted by Certosa which he built,
That Senescal (we styled him) of your House!
I do adjure you, help me, Sirs! My blood
Comes from as far a source: ought it to end
This way, by leakage through their scaffold-planks
Into Rome's sink where her red refuse runs?
Sirs, I beseech you by blood-sympathy,
If there be any vile experiment
In the air,—if this your visit simply prove,
When all's done, just a well-intentioned trick,
That tries for truth truer than truth itself,
By startling up a man, ere break of day,
To tell him he must die at sunset,—pshaw!
That man's a Franceschini; feel his pulse,
Laugh at your folly, and let's all go sleep!
You have my last word,—innocent am I
As Innocent my Pope and murderer,
Innocent as a babe, as Mary's own,
As Mary's self,—I said, say and repeat,—
And why, then, should I die twelve hours hence? I—
Whom, not twelve hours ago, the gaoler bade
Turn to my straw-truss, settle and sleep sound
That I might wake the sooner, promptlier pay
His due of meat-and-drink-indulgence, cross
His palm with fee of the good-hand, beside,
As gallants use who go at large again!
For why? All honest Rome approved my part;
Whoever owned wife, sister, daughter,—nay,
Mistress,—had any shadow of any right
That looks like right, and, all the more resolved,
Held it with tooth and nail,—these manly men
Approved! I being for Rome, Rome was for me.
Then, there's the point reserved, the subterfuge
My lawyers held by, kept for last resource,
Firm should all else,—the impossible fancy!—fail,
And sneaking burgess-spirit win the day.
The knaves! One plea at least would hold,—they laughed,—
One grappling-iron scratch the bottom-rock

[...] Read more

poem by Robert Browning from The Ring and the Book
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Somebody To Love

you and me have got a special thang
a love like ours could never be replaced
and all this time i've only been with you
'cause you have made all my dreams come true
you are the only love i know
and i'll never let you go
you are the sunshine in my life
and one day you'll be my wife
and all my friends wish they could be in love
with someone just like me
a love that's sent from up above
'cause everybody needs somebody to love

'cause everybody needs somebody to love
'cause everybody wants somebody to hug
'cause everybody needs somebody to kiss
someone just like you who's heaven sent

every guy should have a girl like you
someone so sweet that there's nothing
she won't do to make you smile
and brighten up your day
like call you up just to see if your ok

and every day when i see you turn
all my gray sky blue
you make me smile you make me sing
you make me do those crazy things
and baby you're the air that i breathe
and i'd die girl if you leave
'cause babygirl it'd be so cool if everybody
had someone like you

'cause everybody needs somebody to love
'cause everybody wants somebody to hug
'cause everybody needs somebody to kiss
someone just like you who's heaven sent

'cause everybody needs somebody to love
'cause everybody wants somebody to hug
'cause everybody needs somebody to kiss
someone just like you who's heaven sent

someone like you ho baby
someone like you yea yea
someone like you ho baby
someone like you yea yea

'cause everybody needs somebody to love
'cause everybody wants somebody to hug

[...] Read more

song performed by All-4-One from On And On
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My Baby Loves Me

BY SYLVIA MOY, WILLIAM STEVENSON AND IVY HUNTER
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My baby loves me, oh yeah
And my baby needs me, oh yeah
No other girl can whisper sweet things in my ear
My sweetie pie has the only sweet voice I hear so clear
Sayin' that she needs me
(You know she really, really needs me)
Oh yeah, yeah (Oh yeah)
My baby loves me
(You know she really, really loves me)
Oh yeah, yeah (Oh yeah)
I can't seem to see no other beautiful face, oh no
There's just no cute substitute can take my baby's place
'Cause I know she needs me
(You know she really, really needs me)
Woh, woh, yeah, yeah (Oh yeah)
Now I will never, ever give my baby no trouble
Whenever she calls me I come runnin' on the turbo
'Cause I know she needs me
(You know she really, really needs me)
Oh yeah, yeah (Oh yeah)
My baby needs me
(You know she really, really needs me)
Oh yeah, yeah (Oh yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Now nobody can't tell me the place that I'm going wrong, oh no
Nobody could ever embrace the love so strong, so strong
'Cause I know she needs me
(You know she really, really needs me)
She told me that she needs me (oh yeah)
My baby loves me
(You know she really, really loves me)
Oh yeah, yeah (Oh yeah, yeah)
My baby loves me

song performed by Barry Manilow
Added by Lucian Velea
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III. The Other Half-Rome

Another day that finds her living yet,
Little Pompilia, with the patient brow
And lamentable smile on those poor lips,
And, under the white hospital-array,
A flower-like body, to frighten at a bruise
You'd think, yet now, stabbed through and through again,
Alive i' the ruins. 'T is a miracle.
It seems that, when her husband struck her first,
She prayed Madonna just that she might live
So long as to confess and be absolved;
And whether it was that, all her sad life long
Never before successful in a prayer,
This prayer rose with authority too dread,—
Or whether, because earth was hell to her,
By compensation, when the blackness broke
She got one glimpse of quiet and the cool blue,
To show her for a moment such things were,—
Or else,—as the Augustinian Brother thinks,
The friar who took confession from her lip,—
When a probationary soul that moved
From nobleness to nobleness, as she,
Over the rough way of the world, succumbs,
Bloodies its last thorn with unflinching foot,
The angels love to do their work betimes,
Staunch some wounds here nor leave so much for God.
Who knows? However it be, confessed, absolved,
She lies, with overplus of life beside
To speak and right herself from first to last,
Right the friend also, lamb-pure, lion-brave,
Care for the boy's concerns, to save the son
From the sire, her two-weeks' infant orphaned thus,
And—with best smile of all reserved for him—
Pardon that sire and husband from the heart.
A miracle, so tell your Molinists!

There she lies in the long white lazar-house.
Rome has besieged, these two days, never doubt,
Saint Anna's where she waits her death, to hear
Though but the chink o' the bell, turn o' the hinge
When the reluctant wicket opes at last,
Lets in, on now this and now that pretence,
Too many by half,—complain the men of art,—
For a patient in such plight. The lawyers first
Paid the due visit—justice must be done;
They took her witness, why the murder was.
Then the priests followed properly,—a soul
To shrive; 't was Brother Celestine's own right,
The same who noises thus her gifts abroad.
But many more, who found they were old friends,
Pushed in to have their stare and take their talk

[...] Read more

poem by Robert Browning from The Ring and the Book
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Angel Eyes

I pay the price for cheap advice
Sick of leaving in the morning
With the night you gave away
So now I'm gonna take that all that I can get
With those angel eyes
You make saints do sins all the time
Say I'm gonna stay, home and away, well well,
When I said I'd catch you when you're falling
I'd have my heart open wide
And you who's not naive I thought
Say I thought I'd mend my heart
People say I'm so automatic
People say I'm not so systematic
When I'm down I'm in manual, lord
And time on time again I walk on by
With the look of love
And with those angel eyes, woh woh
You set me on fire baby
And with those angel eyes, woh woh
C'mon now baby
The saddest thing I've ever seen on my tv screen
Was a dying man who died for his dream
Toughest thing I've ever heard
Was that new-born scream in this naked world
People say I'm so automatic
People say I'm not so systematic
When I'm down I'm in manual, lord
And time on time again I walk on by
With the look of love
And with those angel eyes, woh woh
You set me on fire baby
And with those angel eyes, woh woh
C'mon now baby
Say I'm gonna stay home and away
Show a little loving that'll make you shine girl
Say I'm gonna stay home and away
People say that I'm so automatic
People say I'm not so systematic
When I'm down I'm in manual, lord
Been all around those edges
But ain't never been in love
Ain't never been in love before babe
Never been in love
Never been in love
Set me on fire, baby
And with those angel eyes, woh woh
Set me on fire, fire
And with those angel eyes, woh woh
Set me on fire, fire

song performed by Wet Wet Wet
Added by Lucian Velea
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Splitting Infinitives

Chief Justice Roberts hates to split
infinitives, and boldly goes
towards the future without wit,
his path as prim as that prim rose
that once Polonius boldly took,
advising Hamlet not to dally.
The Constitution almost shook
when he refused to shilly-shally,
and tried to wander in a way
that was unfaithful to the text
the oath of office. The next day
the problem was resolved, and now,
Queen’s English and our own unregal
language must agree that splitting
of infinitives is legal,
although pedantically unfitting,
since we’ve a President who swore
appropriately, and a Justice
who like Polonius is a bore
and clearly just as dry as dust is.

Inspired by Stephen Pinker’s Op-Ed article in the NYT, January 22,2009, appropriately titled “Oaf of Office, ” commenting on the fiasco created by Chief Justice Roberts when administering the oath of office to President Obama according togrammatical rules that conflict with the original text of the oath:
In 1969, Neil Armstrong appeared to have omitted an indefinite article as he stepped onto the moon and left earthlings puzzled over the difference between “man” and “mankind.” In 1980, Jimmy Carter, accepting his party’s nomination, paid homage to a former vice president he called Hubert Horatio Hornblower. A year later, Diana Spencer reversed the first two names of her betrothed in her wedding vows, and thus, as Prince Charles Philip supposedly later joked, actually married his father. On Tuesday, Chief Justice John Roberts joined the Flubber Hall of Fame when he administered the presidential oath of office apparently without notes. Instead of having Barack Obama “solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, ” Chief Justice Roberts had him “solemnly swear that I will execute the office of president to the United States faithfully.” When Mr. Obama paused after “execute, ” the chief justice prompted him to continue with “faithfully the office of president of the United States.” (To ensure that the president was properly sworn in, the chief justice re-administered the oath Wednesday evening.)
How could a famous stickler for grammar have bungled that 35-word passage, among the best-known words in the Constitution? Conspiracy theorists and connoisseurs of Freudian slips have surmised that it was unconscious retaliation for Senator Obama’s vote against the chief justice’s confirmation in 2005. But a simpler explanation is that the wayward adverb in the passage is blowback from Chief Justice Roberts’s habit of grammatical niggling. Language pedants hew to an oral tradition of shibboleths that have no basis in logic or style, that have been defied by great writers for centuries, and that have been disavowed by every thoughtful usage manual. Nonetheless, they refuse to go away, perpetuated by the Gotcha! Gang and meekly obeyed by insecure writers. Among these fetishes is the prohibition against “split verbs, ” in which an adverb comes between an infinitive marker like “to, ” or an auxiliary like “will, ” and the main verb of the sentence. According to this superstition, Captain Kirk made a grammatical error when he declared that the five-year mission of the starship Enterprise was “to boldly go where no man has gone before”; it should have been “to go boldly.” Likewise, Dolly Parton should not have declared that “I will always love you” but “I always will love you” or “I will love you always.”
Any speaker who has not been brainwashed by the split-verb myth can sense that these corrections go against the rhythm and logic of English phrasing. The myth originated centuries ago in a thick-witted analogy to Latin, in which it is impossible to split an infinitive because it consists of a single word, like dicere, “to say.” But in English, infinitives like “to go” and future-tense forms like “will go” are two words, not one, and there is not the slightest reason to interdict adverbs from the position between them.
Though the ungrammaticality of split verbs is an urban legend, it found its way into The Texas Law Review Manual on Style, which is the arbiter of usage for many law review journals. James Lindgren, a critic of the manual, has found that many lawyers have “internalized the bogus rule so that they actually believe that a split verb should be avoided, ” adding, “The Invasion of the Body Snatchers has succeeded so well that many can no longer distinguish alien speech from native speech.” In his legal opinions, Chief Justice Roberts has altered quotations to conform to his notions of grammaticality, as when he excised the “ain’t” from Bob Dylan’s line “When you ain’t got nothing, you got nothing to lose.” On Tuesday his inner copy editor overrode any instincts toward strict constructionism and unilaterally amended the Constitution by moving the adverb “faithfully” away from the verb. President Obama, whose attention to language is obvious in his speeches and writings, smiled at the chief justice’s hypercorrection, then gamely repeated it. Let’s hope that during the next four years he will always challenge dogma and boldly lead the nation in new directions.

1/22/09

poem by Gershon Hepner
Added by Poetry Lover
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