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Angelina Jolie

I'm happy being myself, which I've never been before. I always hid in other people, or tried to find myself through the characters, or live out their lives, but I didn't have those things in mine.

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The Hospital

Large, heavy, wooden, daunting doors
loom before my eyes as I enter.
An empty side office, reception
with old fashioned filing cabinets,
dark now, glass shutters, closed.
Another heavy door in front of me,
this one leads to a wide, cold floored corridor.
I baulk, want to turn heel, go home.

The black and white tiling, lofty ceiling,
does nothing but repulse me.
More heavy, locked doors
with tiny, peep hole windows, all barred.
Screaming, faint screaming echoes,
ghost like, as it drifts towards me
gradually getting louder.
I reach a wide, stone staircase.

Everything's locked and bolted,
no one passes and the screaming echoes.
Asylums, those old mental hospitals,
where we still send the forgotten
to live out their lives and rot.
You wouldn't ever call this home
and the world outside rolls on
as the traffic drifts by.

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That's the great paradox of living on this earth, that in the midst of great pain you can have great joy as well. If we didn't have those things we'd just be numb.

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Orlando Furioso Canto 19

ARGUMENT
Medoro, by Angelica's quaint hand,
Is healed, and weds, and bears her to Catay.
At length Marphisa, with the chosen band,
After long suffering, makes Laiazzi's bay.
Guido the savage, bondsman in the land,
Which impious women rule with civil sway,
With Marphisa strives in single fight,
And lodges her and hers at full of night.

I
By whom he is beloved can no one know,
Who on the top of Fortune's wheel is seated;
Since he, by true and faithless friends, with show
Of equal faith, in glad estate is greeted.
But, should felicity be changed to woe,
The flattering multitude is turned and fleeted!
While he who loves his master from his heart,
Even after death performs his faithful part.

II
Were the heart seen as is the outward cheer,
He who at court is held in sovereign grace,
And he that to his lord is little dear,
With parts reversed, would fill each other's place;
The humble man the greater would appear,
And he, now first, be hindmost in the race.
But be Medoro's faithful story said,
The youth who loved his lord, alive or dead.

III
The closest path, amid the forest gray,
To save himself, pursued the youth forlorn;
But all his schemes were marred by the delay
Of that sore weight upon his shoulders born.
The place he knew not, and mistook the way,
And hid himself again in sheltering thorn.
Secure and distant was his mate, that through
The greenwood shade with lighter shoulders flew.

IV
So far was Cloridan advanced before,
He heard the boy no longer in the wind;
But when he marked the absence of Medore,
It seemed as if his heart was left behind.
'Ah! how was I so negligent,' (the Moor
Exclaimed) 'so far beside myself, and blind,
That I, Medoro, should without thee fare,
Nor know when I deserted thee or where?'

V
So saying, in the wood he disappears,
Plunging into the maze with hurried pace;
And thither, whence he lately issued, steers,
And, desperate, of death returns in trace.
Cries and the tread of steeds this while he hears,
And word and the tread of foemen, as in chase:
Lastly Medoro by his voice is known,
Disarmed, on foot, 'mid many horse, alone.

VI
A hundred horsemen who the youth surround,
Zerbino leads, and bids his followers seize
The stripling: like a top, the boy turns round
And keeps him as he can: among the trees,
Behind oak, elm, beech, ash, he takes his ground,
Nor from the cherished load his shoulders frees.
Wearied, at length, the burden he bestowed
Upon the grass, and stalked about his load.

VII
As in her rocky cavern the she-bear,
With whom close warfare Alpine hunters wage,
Uncertain hangs about her shaggy care,
And growls in mingled sound of love and rage,
To unsheath her claws, and blood her tushes bare,
Would natural hate and wrath the beast engage;
Love softens her, and bids from strife retire,
And for her offspring watch, amid her ire.

VIII
Cloridan who to aid him knows not how,
And with Medoro willingly would die,
But who would not for death this being forego,
Until more foes than one should lifeless lie,
Ambushed, his sharpest arrow to his bow
Fits, and directs it with so true an eye,
The feathered weapon bores a Scotchman's brain,
And lays the warrior dead upon the plain.

IX
Together, all the others of the band
Turned thither, whence was shot the murderous reed;
Meanwhile he launched another from his stand,
That a new foe might by the weapon bleed,
Whom (while he made of this and that demand,
And loudly questioned who had done the deed)
The arrow reached - transfixed the wretch's throat,
And cut his question short in middle note.

X
Zerbino, captain of those horse, no more
Can at the piteous sight his wrath refrain;
In furious heat, he springs upon Medore,
Exclaiming, 'Thou of this shalt bear the pain.'
One hand he in his locks of golden ore
Enwreaths, and drags him to himself amain;
But, as his eyes that beauteous face survey,
Takes pity on the boy, and does not slay.

XI
To him the stripling turns, with suppliant cry,
And, 'By thy God, sir knight,' exclaims, 'I pray,
Be not so passing cruel, nor deny
That I in earth my honoured king may lay:
No other grace I supplicate, nor I
This for the love of life, believe me, say.
So much, no longer, space of life I crave.
As may suffice to give my lord a grave.

XII
'And if you needs must feed the beast and bird,
Like Theban Creon, let their worst be done
Upon these limbs; so that by me interred
In earth be those of good Almontes' son.'
Medoro thus his suit, with grace, preferred,
And words - to move a mountain, and so won
Upon Zerbino's mood, to kindness turned,
With love and pity he all over burned.

XIII
This while, a churlish horseman of the band,
Who little deference for his lord confest,
His lance uplifting, wounded overhand
The unhappy suppliant in his dainty breast.
Zerbino, who the cruel action scanned,
Was deeply stirred, the rather that, opprest
And livid with the blow the churl had sped,
Medoro fell as he was wholly dead.

XIV
So grieved Zerbino, with such wrath was stung,
'Not unavenged shalt thou remain,' he cries;
Then full of evil will in fury sprung
Upon the author of the foul emprize.
But he his vantage marks, and, from among
The warriors, in a moment slips and flies.
Cloridan who beholds the deed, at sight
Of young Medoro's fall, springs forth to fight;

XV
And casts away his bow, and, 'mid the band
Of foemen, whirls his falchion, in desire
Rather of death, than hoping that his hand
May snatch a vengeance equal to his ire.
Amid so many blades, he views the sand
Tinged with his blood, and ready to expire,
And feeling he the sword no more can guide,
Lets himself drop by his Medoro's side.

XVI
The Scots pursue their chief, who pricks before,
Through the deep wood, inspired by high disdain,
When he has left the one and the other Moor,
This dead, that scarce alive, upon the plain.
There for a mighty space lay young Medore,
Spouting his life-blood from so large a vein,
He would have perished, but that thither made
A stranger, as it chanced, who lent him aid.

XVII
By chance arrived a damsel at the place,
Who was (though mean and rustic was her wear)
Of royal presence and of beauteous face,
And lofty manners, sagely debonair:
Her have I left unsung so long a space,
That you will hardly recognise the fair.
Angelica, in her (if known not) scan,
The lofty daughter of Catay's great khan.

XVIII
Angelica, when she had won again
The ring Brunello had from her conveyed,
So waxed in stubborn pride and haught disdain,
She seemed to scorn this ample world, and strayed
Alone, and held as cheap each living swain,
Although, amid the best, by Fame arrayed:
Nor brooked she to remember a galant
In Count Orlando or king Sacripant;

XIX
And above every other deed repented,
That good Rinaldo she had loved of yore;
And that to look so low she had consented,
(As by such choice dishonoured) grieved her sore.
Love, hearing this, such arrogance resented,
And would the damsel's pride endure no more.
Where young Medoro lay he took his stand,
And waited her, with bow and shaft in hand.

XX
When fair Angelica the stripling spies,
Nigh hurt to death in that disastrous fray,
Who for his king, that there unsheltered lies,
More sad than for his own misfortune lay,
She feels new pity in her bosom rise,
Which makes its entry in unwonted way.
Touched was her haughty heart, once hard and curst,
And more when he his piteous tale rehearsed.

XXI
And calling back to memory her art,
For she in Ind had learned chirurgery,
(Since it appears such studies in that part
Worthy of praise and fame are held to be,
And, as an heir-loom, sires to sons impart,
With little aid of books, the mystery)
Disposed herself to work with simples' juice,
Till she in him should healthier life produce;

XXII
And recollects a herb had caught her sight
In passing hither, on a pleasant plain,
What (whether dittany or pancy hight)
I know not; fraught with virtue to restrain
The crimson blood forth-welling, and of might
To sheathe each perilous and piercing pain,
She found it near, and having pulled the weed,
Returned to seek Medoro on the mead.

XXIII
Returning, she upon a swain did light,
Who was on horseback passing through the wood.
Strayed from the lowing herd, the rustic wight
A heifer, missing for two days, pursued.
Him she with her conducted, where the might
Of the faint youth was ebbing with his blood:
Which had the ground about so deeply dyed,
Life was nigh wasted with the gushing tide.

XXIV
Angelica alights upon the ground,
And he her rustic comrade, at her hest.
She hastened 'twixt two stones the herb to pound,
Then took it, and the healing juice exprest:
With this did she foment the stripling's wound,
And, even to the hips, his waist and breast;
And (with such virtue was the salve endued)
It stanched his life-blood, and his strength renewed;

XXV
And into him infused such force again,
That he could mount the horse the swain conveyed;
But good Medoro would not leave the plain
Till he in earth had seen his master laid.
He, with the monarch, buried Cloridane,
And after followed whither pleased the maid,
Who was to stay with him, by pity led,
Beneath the courteous shepherd's humble shed.

XXVI
Nor would the damsel quit the lowly pile
(So she esteemed the youth) till he was sound;
Such pity first she felt, when him erewhile
She saw outstretched and bleeding on the ground.
Touched by his mien and manners next, a file
She felt corrode her heart with secret wound;
She felt corrode her heart, and with desire,
By little and by little warmed, took fire.

XXVII
The shepherd dwelt, between two mountains hoar,
In goodly cabin, in the greenwood shade,
With wife and children; and, short time before,
The brent-new shed had builded in the glade.
Here of his griesly wound the youthful Moor
Was briefly healed by the Catayan maid;
But who in briefer space, a sorer smart
Than young Medoro's, suffered at her heart.

XXVIII
A wound far wider and which deeper lies,
Now in her heart she feels, from viewless bow;
Which from the boy's fair hair and beauteous eyes
Had the winged archer dealt: a sudden glow
She feels, and still the flames increasing rise;
Yet less she heeds her own than other's woe:
- Heeds not herself, and only to content
The author of her cruel ill is bent.

XXIX
Her ill but festered and increased the more
The stripling's wounds were seen to heal and close:
The youth grew lusty, while she suffered sore,
And, with new fever parched, now burnt, now froze:
From day to day in beauty waxed Medore:
She miserably wasted; like the snow's
Unseasonable flake, which melts away
Exposed, in sunny place, to scorching ray.

XXX
She, if of vain desire will not die,
Must help herself, nor yet delay the aid.
And she in truth, her will to satisfy,
Deemed 'twas no time to wait till she was prayed.
And next of shame renouncing every tye,
With tongue as bold as eyes, petition made,
And begged him, haply an unwitting foe,
To sheathe the suffering of that cruel blow.

XXXI
O Count Orlando, O king of Circassy,
Say what your valour has availed to you!
Say what your honour boots, what goodly fee
Remunerates ye both, for service true!
Sirs, show me but a single courtesy,
With which she ever graced ye, - old or new, -
As some poor recompense, desert, or guerdon,
For having born so long so sore a burden!

XXXII
Oh! couldst thou yet again to life return,
How hard would this appear, O Agricane!
In that she whilom thee was wont to spurn,
With sharp repulse and insolent disdain.
O Ferrau, O ye thousand more, forlorn,
Unsung, who wrought a thousand feats in vain
For this ungrateful fair, what pain 'twould be
Could you within his arms the damsel see!

XXXIII
To pluck, as yet untouched, the virgin rose,
Angelica permits the young Medore.
Was none so blest as in that garden's close
Yet to have set his venturous foot before.
They holy ceremonies interpose,
Somedeal to veil - to gild - the matter o'er.
Young Love was bridesman there the tie to bless,
And for brideswoman stood the shepherdess.

XXXIV
In the low shed, with all solemnities,
The couple made their wedding as they might;
And there above a month, in tranquil guise,
The happy lovers rested in delight.
Save for the youth the lady has no eyes,
Nor with his looks can satisfy her sight.
Nor yet of hanging on his neck can tire,
Of feel she can content her fond desire.

XXXV
The beauteous boy is with her night and day,
Does she untent herself, or keep the shed.
Morning or eve they to some meadow stray,
Now to this bank, and to that other led:
Haply, in cavern harboured, at mid-day,
Grateful as that to which Aeneas fled
With Dido, when the tempest raged above,
The faithful witness to their secret love.

XXXVI
Amid such pleasures, where, with tree o'ergrown,
Ran stream, or bubbling fountain's wave did spin,
On bark or rock, if yielding were the stone,
The knife was straight at work or ready pin.
And there, without, in thousand places lone,
And in as many places graved, within,
MEDORO and ANGELICA were traced,
In divers cyphers quaintly interlaced.

XXXVII
When she believed they had prolonged their stay
More than enow, the damsel made design
In India to revisit her Catay,
And with its crown Medoro's head entwine.
She had upon her wrist an armlet, gay
With costly gems, in witness and in sign
Of love to her by Count Orlando borne,
And which the damsel for long time had worn.

XXXVIII
On Ziliantes, hid beneath the wave,
This Morgue bestowed; and from captivity
The youth (restored to Monodantes grave,
His ancient sire, through Roland's chivalry)
To Roland in return the bracelet gave:
Roland, a lover, deigned the gorgeous fee
To wear, with the intention to convey
The present to his queen, of whom I say.

XXXIX
No love which to the paladin she bears,
But that it costly is and wrought with care,
This to Angelica so much endears,
That never more esteemed was matter rare:
This she was suffered, in THE ISLE OF TEARS,
I know not by what privilege, to wear,
When, naked, to the whale exposed for food
By that inhospitable race and rude.

XL
She, not possessing wherewithal to pay
The kindly couple's hospitality,
Served by them in their cabin, from the day
She there was lodged, with such fidelity,
Unfastened from her arm the bracelet gay,
And bade them keep it for her memory.
Departing hence the lovers climb the side
Of hills, which fertile France from Spain divide.

XLI
Within Valencia or Barcelona's town
The couple thought a little to remain,
Until some goodly ship should make her boun
To loose for the Levant: as so the twain
Journey, beneath Gerona, - coming down
Those mountains - they behold the subject main;
And keeping on their left the beach below,
By beaten track to Barcelona go.

XLII
But, ere they there arrive, a crazed wight
They find, extended on the outer shore;
Who is bedaubed like swine, in filthy plight,
And smeared with mud, face, reins, and bosom o'er'
He comes upon them, as a dog in spite
Swiftly assails the stranger at the door;
And is about to do the lovers scorn,
But to the bold Marphisa I return -

XLIII
Marphisa, Astolpho, Gryphon, Aquilant.
Of these and of the others will I tell:
Who, death before their eyes, the vext Levant
Traverse, and ill resist the boisterous swell.
While aye more passing proud and arrogant,
Waxes in rage and threat the tempest fell.
And now three days the angry gale has blown,
Nor signal of abatement yet has shown.

XLIV
Waves lifted by the waxing tempest start
Castle and flooring, and, if yet there be
Aught standing left in any other part,
'Tis cut away and cast into the sea.
Here, pricking out their course upon the chart,
One by a lantern does his ministry,
Upon a sea-chest propt; another wight
Is busied in the well by torch's light.

XLV
This one beneath the poop, beneath the prow
That other, stands to watch the ebbing sand;
And (each half-glass run out) returns to know
What way the ship has made, and towards what land.
Thence all to speak their different thoughts, below,
To midships make resort, with chart in hand;
There where the mariners, assembled all,
Are met in council, at the master's call.

XLVI
One says: 'Abreast of Limisso are we
Among the shoals' - and by his reckoning, nigh
The rocks of Tripoli and bark must be,
Where shipwrecked, for the most part, vessels lie.
Another: 'We are lost on Sataly,
Whose coast makes many patrons weep and sigh.'
According to their judgment, all suggest
Their treasons, each with equal dread opprest.

XLVII
More spitefully the wind on the third day
Blows, and the sea more yeasty billows rears:
The fore-mast by the first is borne away,
The rudder by the last, with him who steers.
Better than steel that man will bide the assay,
- Of marble breast - who has not now his fears.
Marphisa, erst so confident 'mid harms,
Denied not but that day she felt alarms.

XLVIII
A pilgrimage is vowed to Sinai,
To Cyprus and Gallicia, and to Rome,
Ettino, and other place of sanctity,
If such is named, and to the holy tomb.
Meanwhile, above the sea and near the sky,
The bark is tost, with shattered plank and boom;
From which the crew had cut, in her distress,
The mizenmast, to make her labour less.

XLIX
They bale and chest and all their heavy lumber
Cast overboard, from poop, and prow, and side;
And every birth and cabin disencumber
Of merchandize, to feed the greedy tide.
Water to water others of the number
Rendered, by whom the spouting pumps were plied.
This in the hold bestirs himself, where'er
Planks opened by the beating sea appear.

L
They in this trouble, in this woe, remained
For full four days; and helpless was their plight,
And a full victory the sea had gained,
If yet a little had endured its spite:
But them with hope of clearer sky sustained
The wished appearance of St. Elmo's light,
Which (every spar was gone) descending glowed
Upon a boat, which in the prow was stowed.

LI
When, flaming, they the beauteous light surveyed,
All those aboard kneeled down in humble guise,
And Heaven for peace and for smooth water prayed,
With trembling voices and with watery eyes.
Nor longer waxed the storm, which had dismayed,
Till then enduring in such cruel wise.
North-wester or cross-wind no longer reigns;
But tyrant of the sea the south remains.

LII
This on the sea remained so passing strong,
And from its sable mouth so fiercely blew,
And bore with it so swift a stream and strong
Of the vext waters, that it hurried through
Their tumbling waves the shattered bark along,
Faster than gentle falcon ever flew;
And sore the patron feared, to the world's brink
It would transport his bark, or wreck or sink.

LIII
For this the master finds a remedy,
Who bids them cast out spars, and veer away
A line which holds this float, and as they flee,
So, by two-thirds, their furious course delay.
This counsel boots, and more the augury
From him whose lights upon the gunwale play.
This saves the vessel, haply else undone;
And makes her through the sea securely run.

LIV
They, driven on Syria, in Laiazzo's bay
A mighty city rise; so nigh at hand,
That they can from the vessel's deck survey
Two castles, which the port within command.
Pale turns the patron's visage with dismay,
When he perceives what is the neighbouring land,
Who will not to the port for shelter hie,
Nor yet can keep the open sea, nor fly.

LV
They cannot fly, nor yet can keep the sea;
For mast and yards are gone, and by the stroke
Of the huge billows beating frequently,
Loosened is plank, and beam and timber broke:
And certain death to make the port would be,
Or to be doomed to a perpetual yoke.
For each is made a slave, or sentenced dead,
Thither by evil Chance or Error led.

LVI
Sore dangerous 'twas to doubt; lest hostile band
Should sally from the puissant town in sight,
With armed barks, and upon theirs lay hand,
In evil case for sea, and worse for fight.
What time the patron knows not what command
To give, of him inquires the English knight
What kept his mind suspended in that sort,
And why at first he had not made the port.

LVII
To him relates the patron how a crew
Of murderous women tenanted that shore,
Which, by their ancient law, enslave or slew
All those whom Fortune to this kingdom bore;
And that he only could such for eschew
That in the lists ten champions overbore,
And having this achieved, the following night
In bed should with ten damsels take delight.

LVIII
And if he brings to end the former feat,
But afterwards the next unfinished leaves,
They kill him, and as slaves his following treat,
Condemned to delve their land or keep their beeves.
- If for the first and second labour meet -
He liberty for all his band achieves,
Not for himself; who there must stay and wed
Ten wives by him selected for his bed.

LIX
So strange a custom of the neighbouring strand
Without a laugh Astolpho cannot hear;
Sansonet and Marphisa, near at hand,
Next Aquilant, and he, his brother dear,
Arrive: to them the patron who from land
Aye keeps aloof, explains the cause of fear,
And cries: 'I liefer in the sea would choke,
Than here of servitude endure the yoke.'

LX
The sailors by the patron's rede abide,
And all the passengers affrighted sore;
Save that Marphisa took the other side
With hers, who deemed that safer was the shore
Than sea, which raging round them, far and wide,
Than a hundred thousand swords dismayed them more.
Them little this, or other place alarms,
So that they have but power to wield their arms.

LXI
The warriors are impatient all to land:
But boldest is of these the English peer;
Knowing how soon his horn will clear the strand,
When the scared foe its pealing sound shall hear.
To put into the neighbouring port this band
Desires, and are at strife with those who fear.
And they who are the strongest, in such sort
Compel the patron, that he makes the port.

LXII
Already when their bark was first espied
At sea, within the cruel city's view,
They had observed a galley, well supplied
With practised mariners and numerous crew
(While them uncertain counsels did divide)
Make for their wretched ship, the billows through:
Her lofty prow to their short stern and low
These lash, and into port the vessel tow.

LXIII
They thitherward were worked with warp and oar,
Rather than with assistance of the sail;
Since to lay starboard course or larboard more,
No means were left them by the cruel gale.
Again their rugged rhind the champions wore,
Girding the faithful falchion with the mail,
And with unceasing hope of comfort fed
Master and mariners opprest with dread.

LXIV
Like a half-moon, projected from the beach,
More than four miles about, the city's port;
Six hundred paces deep; and crowning each
Horn of the circling haven, was a fort;
On every side, secure from storm or breach,
(Save only from the south, a safe resort)
In guise of theatre the town extended
About it, and a hill behind ascended.

LXV
No sooner there the harboured ship was seen
(The news had spread already through the land)
Than thitherward, with martial garb and mien,
Six thousand women trooped, with bow in hand;
And, to remove all hope of flight, between
One castle and the other, drew a band;
And with strong chains and barks the port enclosed;
Which ever, for that use, they kept disposed.

LXVI
A dame, as the Cumean sybil gray,
Or Hector's ancient mother of renown,
Made call the patron out, and bade him say,
If they their lives were willing to lay down;
Or were content beneath the yoke to stay,
According to the custom of the town,
- One of two evils they must choose, - be slain,
Or captives, one and all, must there remain.

LXVII
' 'Tis true, if one so bold and of such might
Be found amid your crew,' (the matron said),
'That he ten men of ours engage in fight,
And can in cruel battle lay them dead,
And, after, with ten women, in one night,
Suffice to play the husband's part in bed,
He shall remain our sovereign, and shall sway
The land, and you may homeward wend your way.

LXVIII
'And at your choice to stay shall also be,
Whether a part or all, but with this pact,
That he who here would stay and would be free,
Can with ten dames the husband's part enact.
But if your chosen warrior fall or flee,
By his ten enemies at once attacked,
Or for the second function have not breath,
To slavery you we doom, and him to death.'

LXIX
At what she deemed the cavaliers would start,
The beldam found them bold; for to compete
With those they should engage, and play their part
The champions hoped alike in either feat.
Nor failed renowned Marphisa's valiant heart,
Albeit for the second dance unmeet;
Secure, where nature had her aid denied,
The want should with the falchion be supplied.

LXX
The patron is commanded their reply
Resolved in common council to unfold;
The dames at pleasure may their prowess try,
And shall in lists and bed allow them bold.
The lashings from the vessels they untie,
The skipper heaves the warp, and bids lay hold,
And lowers the bridge; o'er which, in warlike weed,
The expectant cavaliers their coursers lead.

LXXI
These through the middle of the city go,
And see the damsels, as they forward fare,
Ride through the streets, succinct, in haughty show,
And arm, in guise of warriors, in the square.
Nor to gird sword, nor fasten spur below,
Is man allowed, nor any arm to wear;
Excepting, as I said, the ten; to follow
The ancient usage which those women hallow.

LXXII
All others of the manly sex they seat,
To ply the distaff, broider, card and sow,
In female gown descending to the feet,
Which renders them effeminate and slow;
Some chained, another labour to complete,
Are tasked, to keep their cattle, or to plough.
Few are the males; and scarce the warriors ken,
Amid a thousand dames, a hundred men.

LXXIII
The knights determining by lot to try
Who in their common cause on listed ground,
Should slay the ten, with whom they were to vie,
And in the other field ten others wound,
Designed to pass the bold Marphisa by,
Believing she unfitting would be found;
And would be, in the second joust at eve,
Ill-qualified the victory to achieve.

LXXIV
But with the others she, the martial maid,
Will run her risque; and 'tis her destiny.
'I will lay down this life,' the damsel said,
'Rather than you lay down your liberty.
But this' - with that she pointed to the blade
Which she had girt - 'is your security,
I will all tangles in such manner loose,
As Alexander did the Gordian noose.

LXXV
'I will not henceforth stranger shall complain,
So long as the world lasts, of this repair.'
So said the maid, nor could the friendly train
Take from her what had fallen to her share.
Then, - either every thing to lose, or gain
Their liberty, - to her they leave the care.
With stubborn plate and mail all over steeled,
Ready for cruel fight, she takes the field.

LXXVI
High up the spacious city is place,
With steps, which serve as seats in rising rows;
Which for nought else is used, except the chase,
Tourney, or wrestling match, or such-like shows.
Four gates of solid bronze the rabble flows
In troubled tide; and to Marphisa bold,
That she may enter, afterwards is told.

LXXVII
On pieballed horse Marphisa entered, - spread
Were circles dappling all about his hair, -
Of a bold countenance and little head,
And beauteous points, and haughty gait and air.
Out of a thousand coursers which he fed,
Him, as the best, and biggest, and most rare,
King Norandino chose, and, decked with brave
And costly trappings, to Marphisa gave.

LXXVIII
Through the south gate, from the mid-day, the plain
Marphisa entered, nor expected long,
Before she heard approaching trumpet-strain
Peal through the lists in shrilling notes and strong;
And, looking next towards the northern wain,
Saw her ten opposites appear: among
These, as their leader, pricked a cavalier,
Excelling all the rest in goodly cheer.

LXXIX
On a large courser came the leading foe,
Which was, excepting the near foot behind
And forehead, darker than was ever crow:
His foot and forehead with some white were signed.
The horseman did his horse's colours show
In his own dress; and hence might be divined,
He, as the mournful hue o'erpowered the clear,
Was less inclined to smile, than mournful tear.

LXXX
At once their spears in rest nine warriors laid,
When the trump sounded, in the hostile train,
But he in black no sign of jousting made,
As if he held such vantage in disdain:
Better he deemed the law were disobeyed,
Than that his courtesy should suffer stain.
The knight retires apart, and sits to view
What against nine one single lance can do.

LXXXI
Of smooth and balanced pace, the damsel's horse
To the encounter her with swiftness bore;
Who poised a lance so massive in the course,
It would have been an overweight for four.
She, disembarking, as of greatest force,
The boom had chosen out of many more.
At her fierce semblance when in motion, quail
A thousand hearts, a thousand looks grow pale.

LXXXII
The bosom of the first she opens so,
As might surprise, if naked were the breast:
She pierced the cuirass and the mail below;
But first a buckler, solid and well prest,
A yard behind the shoulders of the foe
Was seen the steel, so well was it addrest.
Speared on her lance she left him on the plain,
And at the others drove with flowing rein;

LXXXIII
And so she shocked the second of the crew,
And dealt the third so terrible a blow,
From sell and life, with broken spine, the two
She drove at once. So fell the overthrow,
And with such weight she charged the warriors through!
So serried was the battle of the foe! -
I have seen bombard open in such mode
The squadrons, as that band Marphisa strowed.

LXXXIV
Many good spears were broken on the dame,
Who was as little moved as solid wall,
When revellers play the chace's merry game,
Is ever moved by stroke of heavy ball.
So hard the temper of her corslet's mail,
The strokes aye harmless on the breast-plate fall,
Whose steel was heated in the fires of hell,
And in Avernus' water slaked by spell.

LXXXV
At the end of the career, she checked her steed,
Wheeled him about, and for a little stayed;
And then against the others drove at speed,
Broke them, and to the handle dyed her blade.
Here shorn of arms, and there of head, they bleed;
And other in such manner cleft the maid,
That breast, and head, and arms together fell,
Belly and legs remaining in the sell.

LXXXVI
With such just measure him she cleaves, I say,
Where the two haunches and the ribs confine:
And leaves him a half figure, in such way
As what we before images divine,
Of silver, oftener made of wax, survey;
Which supplicants from far and near enshrine,
In thanks for mercy shown, and to bestow
A pious quittance for accepted vow.

LXXXVII
Marphisa next made after one that flew,
And overtook the wretch, and cleft (before
He the mid square had won) his collar through,
So clean, no surgeon ever pieced it more.
One after other, all in fine she slew,
Or wounded every one she smote so sore,
She was secure, that never more would foe
Arise anew from earth, to work her woe.

LXXXVIII
The cavalier this while had stood aside,
Who had the ten conducted to the place,
Since, with so many against one to ride,
Had seemed to him advantage four and base;
Who, now he by a single hand espied
So speedily his whole array displaced,
Pricked forth against the martial maid, to show
'Twas courtesy, not fear, had made him slow.

LXXXIX
He, signing with his right hand, made appear
That he would speak ere their career was run,
Nor thinking that beneath such manly cheer
A gentle virgin was concealed, begun:
'I wot thou needs must be, sir cavalier,
Sore wearied with such mighty slaughter done;
And if I were disposed to weary thee
More than thou art, it were discourtesy.

XC
'To thee, to rest until to-morrow's light,
Then to renew the battle, I concede.
No honour 'twere to-day to prove my might
On thee, whom weak and overwrought I read.'
- 'Arms are not new to me, nor listed fight;
Nor does fatigue so short a toil succeed,'
Answered Marphisa, 'and I, at my post,
Hope to prove this upon thee, to thy cost.

XCI
'I thank thee for thy offer of delay,
But need not what thy courtesy agrees;
And yet remains so large a space of day
'Twere very shame to spend it all in ease.'
- 'Oh! were I (he replied) so sure to appay
My heart with everything which best would please,
As thine I shall appay in this! - but see,
That ere thou thinkest, daylight fail not thee.'

XCII
So said he, and obedient to his hest
Two spears, say rather heavy booms, they bear.
He to Marphisa bids consigns the best,
And the other takes himself: the martial pair
Already, with their lances in the rest,
Wait but till other blast the joust declare.
Lo! earth and air and sea the noise rebound,
As they prick forth, at the first trumpet's sound!

XCIII
No mouth was opened and no eyelid fell,
Nor breath was drawn, amid the observant crew:
So sore intent was every one to spell
Which should be conqueror of the warlike two.
Marphisa the black champion from his sell,
So to o'erthrow he shall not rise anew,
Levels her lance; and the black champion, bent
To slay Marphisa, spurs with like intent.

XCIV
Both lances, made of willow thin and dry,
Rather than stout and stubborn oak, appeared;
So splintered even to the rest, they fly:
While with such force the encountering steeds careered,
It seemed, as with a scythe-blade equally
The hams of either courser had been sheared.
Alike both fall; but voiding quick the seat,
The nimble riders start upon their feet.

XCV
Marphisa in her life, with certain wound,
A thousand cavaliers on earth had laid;
And never had herself been borne to ground;
Yet quitted now the saddle, as was said.
Not only at the accident astound,
But nigh beside herself, remained the maid.
Strange to the sable cavalier withal,
Unwont to be unhorsed, appeared his fall.

XCVI
They scarcely touch the ground before they gain
Their feet, and now the fierce assault renew,
With cut and thrust; which now with shield the twain
Or blade ward off, and now by leaps eschew.
Whether the foes strike home, or smite in vain,
Blows ring, and echo parted aether through.
More force those shields, those helms, those breast-plates show
Than anvils underneath the sounding blow.

XCVII
If heavy falls the savage damsel's blade,
That falls not lightly of her warlike foe.
Equal the measure one the other paid;
And both receive as much as they bestow.
He who would see two daring spirits weighed,
To seek two fiercer need no further go.
Nor to seek more dexterity or might;
For greater could not be in mortal wight.

XCVIII
The women who have sate long time, to view
The champions with such horrid strokes offend,
Nor sign of trouble in the warriors true
Behold, nor yet of weariness, commend
Them with just praises, as the worthiest two
That are, where'er the sea's wide arms extend.
They deem these of mere toil and labour long
Must die, save they be strongest of the strong.

XCIX
Communing with herself, Marphisa said,
'That he moved not before was well for me!
Who risqued to have been numbered with the dead,
If he at first had joined his company.
Since, as it is, I hardly can make head
Against his deadly blows.' This colloquy
She with herself maintained, and while she spoke,
Ceased not to ply her sword with circling stroke.

C
' 'Twas well for me,' the other cried again,
'That to repose I did not leave the knight.
I now from him defend myself with pain,
Who is o'erwearied with the former fight:
What had he been, renewed in might and main,
If he had rested till to-morrow's light?
Right fortunate was I, as man could be,
That he refused my proffered courtesy!'

CI
Till eve they strove, nor did it yet appear
Which had the vantage of the doubtful fray:
Nor, without light, could either foe see clear
Now to avoid the furious blows; when day
Was done, again the courteous cavalier
To his illustrious opposite 'gan say;
'What shall we do, since ill-timed shades descend,
While we with equal fortune thus contend?'

CII
'Meseems, at least, that till to-morrow's morn
'Twere better thou prolonged thy life: no right
Have I thy doom, sir warrior, to adjourn
Beyond the limits of one little night.
Nor will I that by me the blame be born
That thou no longer shalt enjoy the light.
With reason to the sex's charge, by whom
This place is governed, lay thy cruel doom.'

CIII
'If I lament thee and thy company,
HE knows, by whom all hidden things are spied.
Thou and thy comrades may repose with me,
For whom there is no safe abode beside:
Since leagued against you in conspiracy
Are all those husbands by thy hand have died.
For every valiant warrior of the men
Slain in the tourney, consort was of ten.

CIV
'The scathe they have to-day received from thee,
Would ninety women wreak with vengeful spite;
And, save thou take my hospitality,
Except by them to be assailed this night.'
- 'I take thy proffer in security,'
(Replied Marphisa), 'that the faith so plight,
And goodness of thy heart, will prove no less,
Than are thy corporal strength and hardiness.

CV
'But if, as having to kill me, thou grieve,
Thou well mayst grieve, for reasons opposite;
Nor hast thou cause to laugh, as I conceive,
Nor hitherto has found me worst in fight.
Whether thou wouldst defer the fray, or leave,
Or prosecute by this or other light,
Behold me prompt thy wishes to fulfil;
Where and whenever it shall be thy will!'

CVI
So by consent the combatants divided,
Till the dawn broke from Ganges' stream anew;
And so remained the question undecided,
Which was the better champion of the two,
To both the brothers and the rest who sided
Upon that part, the liberal lord did sue
With courteous prayer, that till the coming day
They would be pleased beneath his roof to stay.

CVII
They unsuspecting with the prayer complied,
And by the cheerful blaze of torches white
A royal dome ascended, with their guide,
Divided into many bowers and bright.
The combatants remain as stupified,
On lifting up their vizors, at the sight
One of the other; for (by what appears)
The warrior hardly numbers eighteen years.

CVIII
Much marvels with herself the gentle dame,
That one so young so well should do and dare.
Much marvels he (his wonderment the same)
When he her sex agnizes by her hair.
Questioning one another of their name,
As speedily reply the youthful pair.
But how was hight the youthful cavalier,
Await till the ensuing strain to hear.

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Trust My Heart To You

I'm going to trust my heart to you
To heal the wounds that may lay
I'm giving you this fragile heart to protect
Then all my fears shall melt away

Take this lonely heart, wrap it in warmth
Make sure it never cries, within your care
It will beat it's lovely melody just for you
The melody growing every moment you share

I'm letting you have this heart of mine
To teach me the true magic of love
I'm handing you my one and only heart
Then my sadness, I shall rise above

Here is my heart, cherish it with love
Let it thrive and beat along with your own heart
They'll beat as one, as to beat forever
Being together, mine will not break apart

I'm trusting my heart to be with you
To remind that our love will always last
I'm sending you this loving heart to love
Then all our problems will perish to the past

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Where Do We Fit

Same when I left you
Now the same upon return
As your pages flip over
You seem to let them burn
You drink from the bottle
That stole your friend
Your friend
Your friend
Now the seasons
They come and they go
I watch the blossoms
As the bees take their own
I peer through the water
That floods my eyes
My eyes
My eyes
I want you in my life
I feel I need you in my life
But I can't have you
Not tonight
Not these days
Not these days
Not these days
Not these days
I watch our children
As they play in the sand
Speaking those words
That only you can understand
I know inside of you
You feel that they are gold
You know there's time
They are not yet old
They want you in their lives
I feel they need you in their lives
But they can't have you
Not tonight
Not these days
Not these days
Not these days
Not these days
I hope these things
They come alive inside you
And you recognise
I hope these things
They come alive and bite you
In the night
I see you standing with each child
And laughing
As you feed their smiles
I hope these things
They come alive and bite you
In the night
Because we
We need you
In our lives
Because we
We need you
In our lives
Because these days are
These days are nothing
Tell me where do we fit in
These days are
These days are nothing
Tell me where do we fit in

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Where Do We Fit

Same when I left you
Now the same upon return
As your pages flip over
You seem to let them burn
You drink from the bottle
That stole your friend
Your friend
Your friend
Now the seasons
They come and they go
I watch the blossoms
As the bees take their own
I peer through the water
That floods my eyes
My eyes
My eyes
I want you in my life
I feel I need you in my life
But I can't have you
Not tonight
Not these days
Not these days
Not these days
Not these days
I watch our children
As they play in the sand
Speaking those words
That only you can understand
I know inside of you
You feel that they are gold
You know there's time
They are not yet old
They want you in their lives
I feel they need you in their lives
But they can't have you
Not tonight
Not these days
Not these days
Not these days
Not these days
I hope these things
They come alive inside you
And you recognise
I hope these things
They come alive and bite you
In the night
I see you standing with each child
And laughing
As you feed their smiles
I hope these things
They come alive and bite you
In the night
Because we
We need you
In our lives
Because we
We need you
In our lives
Because these days are
These days are nothing
Tell me where do we fit in
These days are
These days are nothing
Tell me where do we fit in

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Giraffes: The Gentle Giants

One of my most favourite animals on this Earth, is a gentle giant – the giraffe;
But did you know that some people are killing them just for a so-called ‘laugh’?
These creatures, with their crazy-paving patterned coats of caramel and cream,
Are amongst the most marvellous and majestic, which this entire world has seen.

There was a time when they roamed around the African bush, wild and free,
But recently things have changed, and are now no longer as they used to be.
Rather than leaving them alone, to live out their lives in relative peace,
People are shooting them dead, and, sadly, this trend is on the increase.

Blessed with a long, tall, slender neck, and large, dark, gentle eyes,
Above the rest of living creatures, their noble heads elegantly rise.
Giraffes make an amazing ‘musical fluttering sound’, so I have read,
But their call will dwindle and die, and we’ll just have silence instead.

Their lifeless bodies seem to be seen as some kind of sickening prize,
By heartless hunters who only see a blaze of glory before their eyes.
If only animals and humans could live in harmony upon this great earth;
If only we all lived together, side by side, and valued each other’s worth.

On this earth, all living creatures have earned their rightful place,
So why should a sense of superiority be given to the human race?
Man won’t feel happy and fulfilled till we’re the only race alive,
But what gives us any right to be the only race that will survive?

The world is more than big enough, for animals and humans to share,
But at this rate, more and more animals are becoming extremely rare.
Giraffes don’t invade our lives, so why should we invade theirs?
For human presence, in their habitat, they really don’t much care.

The killers are often pictured with their prey in a ‘photo opportunity’.
We need to stop these needless killings; we need to stop this lunacy.
These callous killers need to be caught, and justice needs to be done,
Before the numbers of giraffe on Earth, dwindles down to a lonely one.

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Cursed (story)

I am Bill.I live with my brother, my dad, mom and my lil sis.There's always this thing that bothers my mind..it's because i believe that my mom and sis already died.It was almost a yearago yet not that old to be forgotten.our house was burnt for unknown reason.They we're found dead on the room i was staying.Burned, yet there's still mystery upon their death.

I can barely remember that i see mere smoke and huge fire.i was just 7 yet my mind works as if i was not.After the tragic happenings the ocean made noise and i saw a huge wave comming towards our direction.Crowds of neigbors, the police, the rescuers and even i, my lil bro and dad run away.

our house was swallowed by that huge wave.After that i don't know what else happened.I hear my dad yell and my lil bro crying.I see blurry lights and hear the sirens.I was asleep! am i? i see the lights striking in my eyelids yet i can not see any image.i hear the sound of waves smashing unto rocks then i'm

shocked to reality i'm just sitting on the deck before the emergency room in the city hospital.I was wonderin' what i'm doin' there but 'twas just a couple'o seconds when i saw my lil bro and dad walked out the emergency room, smiling and waved on me.My dad shouted com'mon bill let's go home.okey, well my dad's calling me.Gotta go!

i really don't know what happened but as we go back to where our house was build it was still there standing steady and strong.I looked around i saw our neighbor's house burnt.and i said' oh, bla bla i really don't know what's happening! ' and asked dad 'dad i thought it was our house burned? '

and as i always hear from him dad answered in a huge voice 'what? are you out of your mind? '

then i heared a soft voice saying 'John, let him rest.Maybe he's hallucinating.he's from kelly's house beside the shore.we all knew it's almost impossible for him to survive that huge fire.'

my pores closed, my spines shivered..and my heart pumped fast...

i shouted' who's that'? ... MOM?

and the voice answered 'yes dear.'

my dad then said' LEt's took him to the doctor, maybe the accident affected his mind too.'

'but DAD! ! , Mom and tricia died already! '

he answered: 'That's not funny bill! if yu're thinking this is the right time to crack pranks.well ITS NOT! ! ..Go to your room! ! '

'but DAD? '!

'NO buts, go to your room.NOW! '

okey, it seems like i really am hallucinating..maybe i came over kelly's house and caused fire and cause of the pressure and i was so scared that i would be charged for the accident i run out of my consciousness..yeah..maybe that's what happened..

'I really feel like i was dreaming, so i quinched my face and punched my head..yet i did not wake up..

so i told myself to relax 'oookeey... bill, , , re-lax! this is true..just believe...just believe! ' and i almost lost my consciousness again when i hear someone say just believe..

i turn at my back and lil sis was there at my back, , , i said' hey tricia, what are you doin' here..how'd you come in? ? ' she answered' i don't know, i just got here...but mom want you to believe...'

i answered ' what the...just go! crazy little brat! '

so she scampered out of my room...

Sigh! for all that happened this day..i want to forget it all and sleep.so i slept.

it wasn't that long till I

woked up with a voice

'Bill come down.it's dinner..i cooked your favorite dish..! '

oh its mom..

i answered

'Comming mom! ! '

and it really was true..everything is true..so i decided to forget it all..

everything turn back to normal until now.. yet i was still believing behind my thoughts that they were dead..

There will be a storm that'll enter the state tonight.The TV forecaster said it carries strong winds and heavy rains.The city government said that lights will be out at eight to prevent accidents caused by electrical damages.

Our city is not a capital.it's located at the far eastern part of the state, near the shores of open oceans.

It's 7: 03 in the evening and i guess the storm hit the state earlier than the forecast..

my dad went downtown to buy some food and my lil bro really cried so hard to go with him so he let him..

i hear the car breaks and the wheels screeching..so i looked upon the window...

why'd they brought almost all their stuffs? are they goin' out of town or running away from us?

i saw my lil bro crying at the backdoor of the car... so i shouted

'daaaaaaaaaad! where are you goin! , daaaaaaaaaad'

'daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad'

but it seems like he don't hear me..

maybe cause of the heavy rain..

but why are they leaving me?

suddenly the lights turned off...?

my heart is beating loudly...

and i am starting to faint...

then the light's back..

i saw my lil sis run unto the kitchen, , ,

i told her 'hey ttrish where's dad goin? , , , where's mom? '

but she did not answered...so i followed her until i..i...iii can't see her..where'd she go?

i hear a lil girl crying at the room so...i turned back and planned to peek at the room.. i saw my little sis crying at something i can not clearly see..

so i said ' trish? ', , then she stopped crying..

'what are you doing..? '

she stay silent..

and BOOM! i hear a thunder..

a lightning striked..

so i look around and found out that the antenna was strucked...

as i look back at my sis

she was gone?

then i hear footsteps at my back...

'MOM>? Trsih? ? '

then i saw my mom very far from me...at the other side of the house..it was dark.. the lights were blinking..

and a candle was lighted above the reff.

i'd gone closer and closer yet the closer i go..the more the image i'd seen fades...

'Mom? '

BOOM! ! ! ! another lightning with thunder strucked!

my mom was there again standing...

and then they've said with a very frightening voice..the one i've rarely heard at the CR or anywhere when i'm alone...

'you killed me! '

'you killed me! '

'you killed me! '

'you killed me! '

then the lights got totally busted...

i scampered away...

i'd run out the house...

the doors, the windows and everything is swinging in and out like there was a strong wind pushing them...

i rode my bicycle and cycled fast until i reached downtown...

i saw dad's car..

it was parked in front of a huge mansion..

i got in..

i'm just a little bit intrigue cause..this mansion is quite big yet no guards and no other people noticed my entrance? ..

i got through the gates..and then unto the doors..the water is dropping fast from me totally wet and cold.

i saw dad and lil bro eating..

my bro was very happy..he was laughing..

my dad was smiling while he was eating...

and said ' hey lil boy d'you like our new home..huh? .. I'm sory 'bout what happened to our old house earlier..i myself can't take to remember that tragedy...our house was burnt to dust..and nothing or no one among them survived..now little boy..it's just me and you... only us.

i came close, hoping he would notice me..

so i shouted 'dad i'm here! ! '

yet he did not noticed..

i tried several times yet it was not effective.

so i came even closer..pick up the fork and throw it away...kicked the vase and step on it..i punched the wall.. and i see my blood drifting from my hands..all i can feel is only at my right hand...the other one seems to lose it's sense..

I am starting to cry...'daaaaad, pls.'

he suddenly looked at my direction...he stood up /...

my tears were like sipped up again..and the smile in my face turned exaggerated..

but his face was not okey! he looked like he was electrified!

yet i noticed..he was not looking at me..!

his vision was just passing through..

then i saw my sis on the door she was wet with both rain water and blood..

my dad saw her..and cried..

his eyes were almost out..he's abviosly frightened..

and said

'trish! i'm sorry, i'm really sorry di not have enough time to save you..i'm sorry i let you down...' (continued weeping)

then sis cried and said..'you left me alone! you left us! you don't care for us! ! DIE! ! ! '...

dad whispered: 'NO, no, no! i care...i care...i..i.. just..i just dont know what to do...! ! '

my sis said 'DAD, here's bill.! he didn't really died cause of the fire! i killed him! '

I can't believe what i've just heared!

I'M DEAD! ! ? ? ?

'yes! yes! you are my dear! '

my mom's voice answered yet i see a burned corpse standing next to me., .

'She killed you...hahahahaha'

i answered: but..but.bbbut?

i'm with trish earlier...

' we died in the house..earlier'

i said 'huh? earlier? '

'bill? son? ...you're really there! the fire accident happened early just this dawn..' DAd said

but...but..b.b.ut?

how'd?

(i saw my sis embraced by my dad..)

DAD explained me the whole thing... 'At the moment of dying cause of tragic happenings...everything flashes back and the moment will slow down you will feel like things were happening at a long period of time while it really was the other way around....... AAAAAAAAAARHG! ! ..Ruuunnn my boy..save yourself! '

oh no! what have you done trisha!

'wahahahah! ' the corpse laughed..

'don't worry...she'll just help me finish them! wahahahahah'

then again i looked back at my sister and i saw a demon child with red eyes and bloody mouth...

it bit dad and crunch his flesh into peices...

the demon child jumped over the table and intentionally broke the lamp and spill the gas..the table started the fire and burned the entire mansion...

and i.i.ii.. saw my dad ..he was already corpse...breathing on the hole on his neck.. with burned body..and blood bathed...

i tried to scamper back but i can not move....

they were all holding me back..saying 'you belong here! , you belong here with us...we're now complete...and atlast we'll be happy....wahahahahaha'....

but i did not go with them..

I am now living along the cyberworld to guide my brother's life...yet i lost him! i am now searching for him...are you my brother? i am still waiting for the ryt time to come..

i choosed to stay here with you! i'm very thankful someone was interested to read my life...but i promise...the last person to read this will see me in the first full moon of this month...

i will kill you!

please come with me....

be my brother...

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Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.

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Often people attempt to live their lives backwards they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

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Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

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WE Would Have Never Been In This Predicament

What do we do 'now'?

'We' who? '

You and me?

'Oh...
So NOW we are a WE?
I think you made it clear,
You were in the majority.
And I followed your lead.

But guess what?
I have never paid you any attention.
And all that stuff you said about me...
To have my wants and dreams,
As the lesser of 'your' necessities?
Is this a joke you wish to provoke?
At my expense and empathy?

There is no 'We'.
THIS has always been about you.
And YOUR activities has made that proven.
With your ethnic insinuations.
And your mandated philosophies!

THIS...
Is about YOU.
If it was a 'We'...
WE would have never been in this predicament,
As an 'US'!
Not you and I...
As 'in' an US!
You must want me to cuss?
These comments spoken to you,
You can count on and trust! ?

US?
WE?
YOU and ME?
Please!
You've had me too long on my knees! '

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Retirement dreams

retirement, the business
of settling down to the ebb
of life before time pulls out its
hands to close its doors on us,
one last cold cold setback everybody
has to take lying down, and without
even the privilege of expressing
whether we like it all or not.
everything's too planned in
advance sorry, like this retirement.

retirees are sunflowers tilting
and shining a splendid lustrous
dextrous yellow in the evening breeze,
in the full splendour of the sun before they
slowly gently glide into the hands of the
expansive horizon, dip into infinity of time.

sweet and honey for those who
have the means and the plans
to live out their sunset dreams but a
turbulent outing for those uninterested
in squeezing the succulent grapes of youth
to make the exquisite thrilling wines of vantage years
the days run on and on like a race to nowhere

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An Army Of Pathos

An Army of pathos
Marches on into the plains of our lives.
Hungry kids, dead grannies and forsaken huts...

There were life and laughter once.

No agendas die, the politician who learnt at the Oxford repeats,
'Don`t panic, things will be alright soon'.
How can he sleep tonight?

An Army of flickering hopes
Struggles to bring solace to the masses.
Soaring summer heat and reports of sunstrokes...

There were still such times not so bad!

No enjoyments are called off as the haves still chill out their lives,
Let the drowning ones go deep, the survivors must rejoice.
How will this phase come to an end?

The ghosts of the Palastine kids killed
By the incorrigible Isrelites haunt the minds.
When will these armies fade out for ever?
The Nargese licked off the lands of Myamnar
And the army regime said 'no' to the helping hands!

What a nasty human fate it is to be under one`s ego.

The Black Obama may just have paradise for a short span.
But will the Whites honour him over the White Mcain at last?
And Putin in disguise shall rule over Russia yet.
An army of pale sentinels let out a cry weak.

There used to be a life different..

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Tune, Il Segreto per Esser Felice

I.

There are some folks that say,
They have found out a way,
To be healthy and wealthy and wise-—
"Let your thoughts be but few,
Do as other folk do,
And never be caught by surprise.
Let your motto be—Follow the fashion,
But let other people alone;
Do not love them, nor hate them, nor care for their fate,
But keep a look out for your own.
Then what though the world may run riot,
Still playing at catch who catch can;
You may just eat your dinner in quiet,
And live like a sensible Man."


II.

’Twere a beautiful thing,
Thus to sit like a king,
And talk of the world turning round,
If it were not that we
Like all things that we see,
Are standing on moveable ground.
While we boast of our tranquil enjoyments,
The means of enjoyment are flown,
Both our joys and our pains, till there’s nothing remains,
But the tranquil repose of a stone.
The world may be utterly crazy,
And life may be labour in vain;
But I'd rather be silly than lazy,
And would not quit life for its pain.


III.

In Nature I read
Quite a different creed,
There everything lives in the rest;
Each feels the same force,
As it moves in its course,
And all by one blessing are blest.
The end that we live for is single,
But we labour not therefore alone,
For together we feel how by wheel within wheel,
We are helped by a force not our own
So we flee not the world and its dangers,
For He that has made it is wise,
He knows we are pilgrims and strangers,
And He will enlighten our eyes.

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If you're going to do something, commit properly and don't fall through the gaps. It sounds tough and stern but it's helped me turn things around in my life.

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Carl Sagan

The lifetime of a human being is measured by decades, the lifetime of the Sun is a hundred million times longer. Compared to a star, we are like mayflies, fleeting ephemeral creatures who live out their lives in the course of a single day.

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On The Road Again (rehearsal Pre-production Jam)

Yeah, woke up one mornin'
I'm a ram up for walls
Somethin' told my baby
You can have it all
Jump through my window
Look my life in the den
Look out pretty mama
I'm on the road again
[Chorus:]
I'm on the road again
(And you can do what you want)
I'm on the road again
(And you can do what you want)
Look out pretty mama I'm on the road again...uh
Yeah, I came home last night
To get my dinner hot
Went to the door
But the door was locked
Jump through the window
And believe me or not
She hadn't even
Put my dinner into the pot
[Chorus]
Yeah, never been evil
And I've never been shy
Every down a champ
And I'm a time by
Down un winner
With my apple in bed
Look out pretty mama
I'm on the road again
[Chorus]
Yeah, never been evil
And I've never been sly
Every down a champ
And I'm a time by
Down through the window
With my apple in bed
Look out pretty mama
I'm on the road again
[Chorus

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Am I All Those Things Meant?

Sometimes cautious,
And often with a consciousness.
At other times I wish to be aloof.
To sit between perceived negativity...
And the confirmation of it as proof.

I am one of those people,
Who see things as they are.
With messages received.
And wondering...
Am I all those things meant?

Have I delivered mixed signals.
To implant misunderstandings...
From what I've sent.

Have I over compensated,
My independence?
And no one comprehends...
That which I love and do,
I do it just for them!
And getting free therapy,
Over and over again

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Those Tears Are Mine

You held my hand
Beneath a summer streetlight
An hour or two
Before the dawn.

We walked all night,
We talked all night
About the things
That make us cry.

And I have seen
You cry
Too many times.
I swear,
Those tears are mine
Because I brought them
To your eyes.

I never wanted
Anything more
Than to kiss you
While watching the poetry
Of a sunrise,
Or to see
An afternoon breeze
Lovingly tousle your hair.

But a lover
Can grow insensitive
And take love for granted,
Not listen carefully.

You tried to tell me
Every time you were hurting
How to change my ways,
How to make you smile.

I did not pay attention
To little but important needs
Until you were convinced
That you were not
Important to me.

I know it is too late
For you to forgive me,
But I hope you try.

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