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Robert Frost

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

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Morning Humor

Slippery jack, no more turning back,
All around, morning humor
I am a waiter and I am a server
Ill run to your needs with strength and fervor
In times when you are wasted I will walk in
Through the door, pick you from the floor
Then watch you grow into a man
With a big burly beard
And a mustache to match
Ill watch you love the world
And all that it has...
With that morning humor,
Morning humor
The kind that wakes you up
The kind thats in my blood
Morning humor, morning humor, yeah...
I am on top again, soon to be low again
Oh will this ever end?
Im sorry I dont mean to sound like a whale
Trapped in the ice, but aint it nice to say exactly
What I please...
With a big toney voice or a
Soft mellow voice or the
Loud boisterous voice of an opera, opera lady!
With that morning humor,
Morning humor
The kind that wakes you up.
The kind thats in my blood
Morning humor, morning humor, yeah...
But the joke that kills
Is just a joke to you
You need some...
Slippery jack, no more turning back,
All around, morning humor
The kind that wakes you up
The kind thats in my blood...
Morning humor...

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Please, O God of Humor

Please, O God of Humor, give me the gift of being funny
naturally funny
so I can produce poetry and verse that tickles
and makes readers laugh so much their coins roll out of their wallets;
and let the children roll on the floor when my poems are recited;
for indeed my humor is the worst online by any standard
(or lack of standard)
for when I publish poems meant to be funny
my readers never understand me
and what I thought funny, they think tragic
and what I thought was tickle-tickle material
they find pathetic and practically laughable;
I am lectured to or consoled by readers
when I attempt humor;
I am sent e-mails and spam of advice
and words of caution when I attempt to be witty;
and my 113th poem
on the funny side of social networking
brought sympathy and pity for my lack of friends
but no appreciation for what I thought was funny;
and my 213th poem on old ladies at banks
brought outrage at me for hanging out at banks to ogle at wealthy, old ladies;
my 3131th poem on religion, the Divine
and its Power-packed representatives on Planet Earth
provoked no laughter but the ire and wrath of the other God
(you know, not you the Laughing God,
but the Other One, the Only One, the Angry Jealous God)


really neither man nor beast
nor the Highest Being in heaven
truly
nobody laughs at my verse
and nobody finds my offbeat humor at all funny;
Oh please,
God of Humor,
please make my humor a little like that of
Mr Bean or Jim Carrie
so I can have a universal audience
that will laugh at anything I write
(and perhaps incidentally, I’ll make some money)
and then they’ll all say:
See what the God of Humor and Laughter has done
for that simpleton Raj who never knew what humor in poetry is
Please God of Humor, won't you humor me?

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Art of Humor

The parody, the comic
The irony, the slapstick 
The comedy, the joke
There are many names of humor

A little flirt, a bit sway
A random bait, a strike catch
A prick of crack, a needed pain
So far we go just for humor 

Because it is fun, because it is crazy
Because it is refreshing, because it brings laugh
Lightening the mood, building emotion
Always use humor in a good way

The situation, the mimic
The trap, the surprise 
The movement, the style
Only human could understand humor 

The witty question, the innocence answer
The spontaneous expression, the awaited performance 
The dilemma, the mistake
Everything could turn into humor 

To tease, to distract
To criticize, to attract 
To break the ice, to open the gag
Don't take humor too serious 

In critical condition, in awkward moment
In relaxing time, in happy hour 
In strange fact, in life experience
Do you know that God also has a sense of humor?

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Sense Of Humor

You will like my sense of humor
You will be addicted to my smile
Laughing all the while
And I will end each conversation
I will leave the room with upper hand
And you will understand
You will find my scent attractive
You will like my real, engaging eyes
And playful, childlike smile
You will find my style appealing
I will overpower you with wits
And I will be a hit
If only you'd run to me
If only you'd come to me
If only you'd relax upon your rules
And dare to be love's fool
If only you'd come for me
If only you'd run to me
If only you'd relax upon those rules
And dare to be love's fool
Waking up from a coma (tossing, turning)
Sweat has covered my body (my mouth felt dry)
My life flashing before me (nothing much to say)
Still it was so boring (did you hear me sing?)
Only I could adore you (the wind through the trees)
Silently barking orders (rushing up to me)
This is only beginning (don't anger the sea)
Oh, the wave's crashing higher and higher on me
Crash, crash, crash, crash
If only you'd relax upon your rules
And dare to be love's fool
If only you'd run to me
All the blinking lights, noise of eternity (if only you'd come to me)
All the sentences swirling inside of me (you will like my sense of humor)
Inside of me (and dare to be love's fool)
(If only you'd come to me)
I have censored my eyes, I get drawn through my ears (if only you'd run to me)
Redirected desire now
It comes out as tears (you will like my sense of humor)
You know, it comes out as tears (and dare to be love's fool)
You will like my sense of humor
You will like my sense of humor

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Charles Baudelaire

Le Vampire (The Vampire)

Toi qui, comme un coup de couteau,
Dans mon coeur plaintif es entrée;
Toi qui, forte comme un troupeau
De démons, vins, folle et parée,

De mon esprit humilié
Faire ton lit et ton domaine;
— Infâme à qui je suis lié
Comme le forçat à la chaîne,

Comme au jeu le joueur têtu,
Comme à la bouteille l'ivrogne,
Comme aux vermines la charogne
— Maudite, maudite sois-tu!

J'ai prié le glaive rapide
De conquérir ma liberté,
Et j'ai dit au poison perfide
De secourir ma lâcheté.

Hélas! le poison et le glaive
M'ont pris en dédain et m'ont dit:
«Tu n'es pas digne qu'on t'enlève
À ton esclavage maudit,

Imbécile! — de son empire
Si nos efforts te délivraient,
Tes baisers ressusciteraient
Le cadavre de ton vampire!»

The Vampire

You who, like the stab of a knife,
Entered my plaintive heart;
You who, strong as a herd
Of demons, came, ardent and adorned,

To make your bed and your domain
Of my humiliated mind
— Infamous bitch to whom I'm bound
Like the convict to his chain,

Like the stubborn gambler to the game,
Like the drunkard to his wine,
Like the maggots to the corpse,
— Accurst, accurst be you!

I begged the swift poniard
To gain for me my liberty,
I asked perfidious poison

[...] Read more

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Cowardice Act

“To leave the field and run for life”
Leaving the children behind and wife
To hide the face and not face the challenge
To deceive somebody and retract the steps or renege

These are called cowardice acts
Everybody may come forward and sharply react
You will find no place to hide
Its implications are more and wide

Life may be sharp but not edge of the knife
You got to act when situation is rife
Kill or get to be killed is suddenly forgotten,
Thousands of thoughts invade and come often,

Who stands alone amidst ruins,
Bury the dead for honor and not coins,
Worries for dead to offer descent burial
Not to offer any excuses or denial

Not all becomes commanders in field,
Sacrifice life but never submit or yield,
Stick to position and ground very well hold,
Recover more and bring glory to their fold,

With sudden burst of fire shells,
Coward sees it as raining hell,
Think not of holy land but ready to sell,
Let country suffer but I must do or fare well,

It is not confined to war zones alone,
Every field is engulfed and very prone,
the question is where to start and where to end?
All mixed signals received but where to bend?

Material gain can be even compensated,
Loss of lives can still be tolerated,
Food sometimes, we find, may be adulterated,
but how the cowardice can be equated?

Russians lost the war not because they were not brave,
fought valiantly but fallen with honor to graves
It were human waves after waves that stood ground,
New elements in history where honors was found,

To witness the injustice and not to act,
Tolerate the tyranny and not to react,
Shut the eyes to reality or fact,
It is cowardice act in matter of fact,

[...] Read more

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But On The Other Hand

Death is Bad;
but it is slimming.

Life is Good;
Except when it is Bad

Heaven is good
but it is too far away
and I wonder if there
is dating there
or marriage.

Why do Arab Martyrs
get 21 virgins in Heaven?
Where do they come from?

Dying is ok by me
I just don't want it to be unpleasant
and I certainly don't want to watch;
don't want you to watch either.

I like birds
but the way they fly around
seems frivolous.

Happiness is over-rated;
but then again
so is misery.

I like kissing
but the spit part
and the lips-
can't you catch something?

The little girl said
'Sex is like blowing up a balloon
and then the baby cries.'

He said;
'Women are like precious diamonds
hard on the outside
hard on the inside
but make-up and lighting
makes them look shiny.
But they are far more valuable than men.

Men are like custard pie
delicious when fresh
but not fulfilling
enough for dinner;

[...] Read more

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Baby, You Did It

Once upon a time-
I was down and depressed
Baby, you turned it upside down
With your company
And even your flaws
Especially your flaws
Cause I had some too
We weren’t happily ever after
Or even perfect
But neither of us saw
Any of the cause
We served the curtains
Out loud, “it’s not over yet”
And now we’ll be seeing
The sights of all time
Baby, you did it
With your deep brown eyes
With your laugh, just your smile
With your humor, your face
You turned it upside down
Listen now
Baby, you did it
With your deep brown eyes
With your laugh, just your smile
With your humor, your face
But I took it slow
Took it mysterious
Oh baby oh
The best time of our lives
Seeing the sights of all time
Baby, you did it
With your deep brown eyes
With your laugh, just your smile
With your humor, your face
You turned it upside down
Baby, you did it
With your deep brown eyes
With your laugh, just your smile
With your humor, your face
Oh baby
Oh baby
Oh baby, oh
Listen now
Oh baby
Oh baby
Oh baby, oh
Baby, you did it

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Essence Of Sense Of Humor

It’s the rarest of the commodities
It’s a gift possessed by few
Yes I’m talking about sense of humor
It has an essence that’s absolutely new
People having this rarest quality
Can turn the things all upside down
Making a mockery of most serious cases
They would hardly let you frown
That’s the color it brings to life
That’s the essence of sense of humor
The energy it brings to others and self
Is way beyond all jokes and rumor

You can master the circumstances
You can nullify the negativity
You need not be a professional
It’s only a matter of creativity
It diffuses the negative energy
And infuses the positive
It gives us a new direction
To be a little more sensitive
All tears can turn to smiles
With a small pinch of humor
People will remember you forever
That’s the essence of sense of humor.

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Smile Will Ya

Smile will ya, they tell me, but they do not comprehend
That humor is not lost to me, it's simply on the mend
Life got in the way and I don't laugh as I once did
Perhaps They don't see or understand the things I've hid

There never was a time when laughter came easily to me
But that was long ago, before I found my beloved sea
Where I could watch the sunrise as it transends horizons there
In fondness, recollecting all those memories…I cared

However I am mindful that I smile even less than before
And I am taking steps to find my humor and restore
Expressions of delight that hide behind these fortress walls
Sequestered, how am I to walk, or run before I crawl?

Perhaps my laughter is hidden, for this is just a way
Of seeking out the child in me who never got out to play
I'm searching through the annals of my bewildered, fouled up, mind
In hot pursuit of this, my search, I've yet to uncover, even find…

But I am drawing nearer to that, it is my journeys end
And all I ask is patience while I sit here and pretend
Maybe, I'll even invent one new word you'll never find
In any dictionary, of any kind, for the humor is in my mind…

Consider this, my darlings, both kind and oh so vile
Perhaps it's my awareness that it's you who doesn't smile
So what you see, reflects upon your instabilities
Maybe you're the one to knock, for smiles you do not see…

And while I'm on this subject, bear in mind these words I write
Are from the heart of this poet, who has often lost this fight
This time there is no light reading in my world of poetry
It bears the weight and burden of our failed society

This poet bears a cross you cannot carry, or wish to find
And so my humor's hidden in the recesses of my mind
Perhaps it is YOUR task to seek, discover, then in a while
Realize you're the one whose lacking the ability to smile!

James Casey 2003

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Wonderful

You are the sunshine of my life another shakespeare of your time
Your like a ribbon in the sky you are a poet's endless rhyme
You take me to a higher ground then you knock me off my feet
Lately i been thinking bout you, cause you been creeping in my dreams
You inspire me the way you make me feel inside is amazing
Your honesty your artistry is engaging
You are everything i hope to be
You have touch my soul i want you to know you are my hero
You got so much soul to put it plain and simple you are wonderful
I am the woman in red, i am girl blue, i am the black or i am a golden lady too
You bring the music of your mind to elevate human kind
That's why i share my emotions with inner visions i explode
You inspire me the way you make me feel inside is amazing
Your honesty your artistry is engaging
You are everything i want to be
You have touch my soul i want you to know you are my hero
You got so much soul to put it plain and simple you are wonderful
Bridge
You so beautiful
Yeah
You are wonderful
You are beautiful
You are powerful
You have touch soul
And i just want to say
You have touch my soul
In such a special way
Stevie wonderful
Stevie wonderful
Stevie wonderful
You have touch my soul, you're so divine, you're so sublime
You're wonderful
You have touch my soul, to put it plain and simple you are wonderful
You have touch my soul, you're so devine, you're so sublime
You're wonderful

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Constitutional Position

What is my constitutional position
I do not know and though I am not ignorant
I am engaging myself in accumulation
Of hate from so many persons
And remaining far away from you people
It is not that I do not know
What is good what is bad and
I am engaging myself to see daydream
To fly without air to swim without water
With flesh blood bone and it is known
You have open the door for me towards heaven
It is I that have missed everything
I was given and missing opportunity
Time and again here when time is pssing
Without taking me from the scene
And that is not mine.

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Tale IX

EDWARD SHORE.

Genius! thou gift of Heav'n! thou light divine!
Amid what dangers art thou doom'd to shine!
Oft will the body's weakness check thy force,
Oft damp thy vigour, and impede thy course;
And trembling nerves compel thee to restrain
Thy nobler efforts, to contend with pain;
Or want (sad guest!) will in thy presence come,
And breathe around her melancholy gloom:
To life's low cares will thy proud thought confine,
And make her sufferings, her impatience, thine.
Evil and strong, seducing passions prey
On soaring minds, and win them from their way,
Who then to Vice the subject spirits give,
And in the service of the conqu'ror live;
Like captive Samson making sport for all,
Who fear'd their strength, and glory in their fall.
Genius, with virtue, still may lack the aid
Implored by humble minds, and hearts afraid;
May leave to timid souls the shield and sword
Of the tried Faith, and the resistless Word;
Amid a world of dangers venturing forth,
Frail, but yet fearless, proud in conscious worth,
Till strong temptation, in some fatal time,
Assails the heart, and wins the soul to crime,
When left by honour, and by sorrow spent,
Unused to pray, unable to repent,
The nobler powers, that once exalted high
Th' aspiring man, shall then degraded lie:
Reason, through anguish, shall her throne forsake,
And strength of mind but stronger madness make.
When Edward Shore had reach'd his twentieth

year,
He felt his bosom light, his conscience clear;
Applause at school the youthful hero gain'd,
And trials there with manly strength sustain'd:
With prospects bright upon the world he came,
Pure love of virtue, strong desire of fame:
Men watch'd the way his lofty mind would take,
And all foretold the progress he would make.
Boast of these friends, to older men a guide,
Proud of his parts, but gracious in his pride;
He bore a gay good-nature in his face,
And in his air were dignity and grace;
Dress that became his state and years he wore,
And sense and spirit shone in Edward Shore.
Thus, while admiring friends the Youth beheld,
His own disgust their forward hopes repell'd;

[...] Read more

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The Four Seasons : Autumn

Crown'd with the sickle and the wheaten sheaf,
While Autumn, nodding o'er the yellow plain,
Comes jovial on; the Doric reed once more,
Well pleased, I tune. Whate'er the wintry frost
Nitrous prepared; the various blossom'd Spring
Put in white promise forth; and Summer-suns
Concocted strong, rush boundless now to view,
Full, perfect all, and swell my glorious theme.
Onslow! the Muse, ambitious of thy name,
To grace, inspire, and dignify her song,
Would from the public voice thy gentle ear
A while engage. Thy noble cares she knows,
The patriot virtues that distend thy thought,
Spread on thy front, and in thy bosom glow;
While listening senates hang upon thy tongue,
Devolving through the maze of eloquence
A roll of periods, sweeter than her song.
But she too pants for public virtue, she,
Though weak of power, yet strong in ardent will,
Whene'er her country rushes on her heart,
Assumes a bolder note, and fondly tries
To mix the patriot's with the poet's flame.
When the bright Virgin gives the beauteous days,
And Libra weighs in equal scales the year;
From Heaven's high cope the fierce effulgence shook
Of parting Summer, a serener blue,
With golden light enliven'd, wide invests
The happy world. Attemper'd suns arise,
Sweet-beam'd, and shedding oft through lucid clouds
A pleasing calm; while broad, and brown, below
Extensive harvests hang the heavy head.
Rich, silent, deep, they stand; for not a gale
Rolls its light billows o'er the bending plain:
A calm of plenty! till the ruffled air
Falls from its poise, and gives the breeze to blow.
Rent is the fleecy mantle of the sky;
The clouds fly different; and the sudden sun
By fits effulgent gilds the illumined field,
And black by fits the shadows sweep along.
A gaily chequer'd heart-expanding view,
Far as the circling eye can shoot around,
Unbounded tossing in a flood of corn.
These are thy blessings, Industry! rough power!
Whom labour still attends, and sweat, and pain;
Yet the kind source of every gentle art,
And all the soft civility of life:
Raiser of human kind! by Nature cast,
Naked, and helpless, out amid the woods
And wilds, to rude inclement elements;
With various seeds of art deep in the mind

[...] Read more

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La Fontaine

A Confidant Without Knowing It; Or The Stratagem

NO master sage, nor orator I know,
Who can success, like gentle Cupid show;
His ways and arguments are pleasing smiles,
Engaging looks, soft tears, and winning wiles.
Wars in his empire will at times arise,
And, in the field, his standard meet the eyes;
Now stealing secretly, with skilful lure.
He penetrates to hearts supposed secure,
O'erleaps the ramparts that protect around,
And citadels reduces, most renowned.

I DARE engage, two fortresses besiege
Leave one to Mars, and t'other to this liege.
And though the god of war should numbers bring,
With all the arms that can his thunders fling,
Before the fort he'll vainly waste his time,
While Cupid, unattended, in shall climb,
Obtain possession perfectly at ease,
And grant conditions just as he shall please.

I NOW propose to give a fav'rite tale :--
The god of Love was never known to fail,
In finding stratagems, as I have read,
And many have I seen most nicely spread.

THE young Aminta was Gerontes' wife,
With whom she lived, it seems, a wretched life.
Far better she deserved than what she had,
For he was jealous, and his temper bad:
An aged hunks, while she was in the hour
When hearts, that never felt LOVE'S mighty pow'r,
Are presently by tender objects caught,
Which ne'er before had entered in the thought.

WHEN first Aminta saw young Cleon's face,
A lad possessing all engaging grace,
Much prudence then she ev'ry way displayed,
E'en more perhaps than necessary made.
For though we may suppose the lovely fair,
Would ev'ry effort use to 'scape the snare,
Yet when the god of soft persuasion takes
The fatal moment, havock soon he makes,
In vain his duty, any thing opposed,
If once the tender sentiment's disclosed.
Aminta consolation had in view
'Twas that alone the passion from her drew,
A meeting innocent, to vent her tears,
And, to a feeling friend, express her fears.
'Tis represented thus I cannot doubt;
But sight of meat brings appetite about;

[...] Read more

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La Fontaine

Joconde

IN Lombardy's fair land, in days of yore,
Once dwelt a prince, of youthful charms, a store;
Each FAIR, with anxious look, his favours sought,
And ev'ry heart within his net was caught.
Quite proud of beauteous form and smart address,
In which the world was led to acquiesce,
He cried one day, while ALL attention paid,
I'll bet a million, Nature never made
Beneath the sun, another man like me,
Whose symmetry with mine can well agree.
If such exist, and here will come, I swear
I'll show him ev'ry lib'ral princely care.

A noble Roman, who the challenge heard,
This answer gave the king his soul preferr'd
--Great prince, if you would see a handsome man,
To have my brother here should be your plan;
A frame more perfect Nature never gave;
But this to prove, your courtly dames I crave;
May judge the fact, when I'm convinc'd they'll find:
Like you, the youth will please all womankind;
And since so many sweets at once may cloy,
'Twere well to have a partner in your joy.

THE king, surpris'd, expressed a wish to view
This brother, form'd by lines so very true;
We'll see, said he, if here his charms divine
Attract the heart of ev'ry nymph, like mine;
And should success attend our am'rous lord,
To you, my friend, full credit we'll accord.

AWAY the Roman flew, Joconde to get,
(So nam'd was he in whom these features met
'Midst woods and lawns, retir'd from city strife,
And lately wedded to a beauteous wife;
If bless'd, I know not; but with such a fair,
On him must rest the folly to despair.

THE Roman courtier came, his business told
The brilliant offers from the monarch bold;
His mission had success, but still the youth
Distraction felt, which 'gan to shake his truth;
A pow'rful monarch's favour there he view'd;
A partner here, with melting tears bedew'd;
And while he wavered on the painful choice,
She thus address'd her spouse with plaintive voice:

CAN you, Joconde, so truly cruel prove,
To quit my fervent love in courts to move?
The promises of kings are airy dreams,

[...] Read more

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La Fontaine

St. Julian's Prayer

TO charms and philters, secret spells and prayers,
How many round attribute all their cares!
In these howe'er I never can believe,
And laugh at follies that so much deceive.
Yet with the beauteous FAIR, 'tis very true,
These WORDS, as SACRED VIRTUES, oft they view;
The spell and philter wonders work in love
Hearts melt with charms supposed from pow'rs above!

MY aim is now to have recourse to these,
And give a story that I trust will please,
In which Saint Julian's prayer, to Reynold D'Ast,
Produced a benefit, good fortune classed.
Had he neglected to repeat the charm,
Believed so thoroughly to guard from harm,
He would have found his cash accounts not right,
And passed assuredly a wretched night.

ONE day, to William's castle as he moved.
Three men, whose looks he very much approved,
And thought such honest fellows he had round,
Their like could nowhere be discovered round;
Without suspecting any thing was wrong,
The three, with complaisance and fluent tongue,
Saluted him in humble servile style,
And asked, (the minutes better to beguile,)
If they might bear him company the way;
The honour would be great, and no delay;
Besides, in travelling 'tis safer found,
And far more pleasant, when the party's round;
So many robbers through the province range,
(Continued they) 'tis wonderfully strange,
The prince should not these villains more restrain;
But there:--bad MEN will somewhere still remain.

TO their proposal Reynold soon agreed,
And they resolved together to proceed.
When 'bout a league the travellers had moved,
Discussing freely, as they all approved,
The conversation turned on spells and prayer,
Their pow'r o'er worms of earth, or birds of air;
To charm the wolf, or guard from thunder's roar,
And many wonderful achievements more;
Besides the cures a prayer would oft produce;
To man and beast it proves of sov'reign use,
Far greater than from doctors e'er you'll view,
Who, with their Latin, make so much ado.

IN turn, the three pretended knowledge great,
And mystick facts affected to relate,

[...] Read more

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Purity is Paradise

This purity stains my accepted one,
Weeping uncovers a double tragedy,
When we are weak, immovable, and in a slump.
This pain is overreaching me in its height of life
And living then engaging, so engaging.
I live with people who condemn, denigrating the work
We survive, as goals are scored on the imagination.
Employment stops and work begins at home,
When a struggle is sought to undermine the body
As it weakens into strength of the soul-
Its destination is Paradise.

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William Cowper

Adam: A Sacred Drama. Act 2.

SCENE I. -- CHORUS OF ANGELS Singing.

Now let us garlands weave
Of all the fairest flowers,
Now at this early dawn,
For new-made man, and his companion dear;
Let all with festive joy,
And with melodious song,
Of the great Architect
Applaud this noblest work,
And speak the joyous sound,
Man is the wonder both of Earth and Heaven.

FIRST Angel.

Your warbling now suspend,
You pure angelic progeny of God,
Behold the labour emulous of Heaven!
Behold the woody scene,
Decked with a thousand flowers of grace divine;
Here man resides, here ought he to enjoy
In his fair mate eternity of bliss.

SECOND Angel.

How exquisitely sweet
This rich display of flowers,
This airy wild of fragrance,
So lovely to the eye,
And to the sense so sweet.

THIRD Angel.

O the sublime Creator,
How marvellous his works, and more his power!
Such is the sacred flame
Of his celestial love,
Not able to confine it in himself,
He breathed, as fruitful sparks
From his creative breast,
The Angels, Heaven, Man, Woman, and the World.

FOURTH Angel.

Yes, mighty Lord! yes, hallowed love divine!
Who, ever in thyself completely blest,
Unconscious of a want,
Who from thyself alone, and at thy will,
Bright with beignant flames,
Without the aid of matter or of form,

[...] Read more

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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

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Added by Lucian Velea
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