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Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

quote by Robert D. Sprecht
Added by Lucian Velea
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Deal Goin Down

When the deal goin down and you gonna take your chance
Theres always just a mystery that locks you in a trance
No matter what the future brings youre booked, and lawd youre bound
Be steppin softly when you know the deal is goin down
When the deal go down and the noose is bein tied
Aint no gettin round it, fade back and let it lie
No matter what the future brings youre booked, and lawd youre bound
Be steppin softly when you know the deal is goin down
No matter what the future brings youre booked, and lawd youre bound
Be steppin softly when you know
No matter what the future brings youre booked, and lawd youre bound
Be steppin softly when you know the deal is goin down
Goin down
Down, down
Im going down

song performed by ZZ Top
Added by Lucian Velea
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Busy Booked Hooker

Dressed nice and neatly.
She looked so hot.
With a weave that fizzled.

Dressed nice and neat,
Dressed nice and neatly.
With composure there.

Dressed nice and neat,
Dressed nice and neatly.
She avoided disaster.

Dressed nice and neat,
She played it sweet,
And undeterred.
She had wisdom and the drive...
To keep my interest flowing.
While 'peaking' as I'm growing,
To maximize the widening of her thighs.

Dressed nice and neat,
Dressed nice and neatly.
With composure there.

Dressed nice and neat,
Dressed nice and neatly.
She avoided disaster.

Dressed nice and neat,
She played it sweet,
And undeterred.
She had wisdom and the drive...
To keep my interest flowing.
While 'peaking' as I'm growing,
To maximize the widening of her thighs.

Dressed nice and neat,
Dressed nice and neatly.
She was not that sweet.

Dressed nice and neat,
Dressed nice and neatly.
She was a noonday hooker.

Dressed nice and neat,
Dressed nice and neatly.
Just an overbooked hooker.
On a call,
To meet.

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Sir Andrew Barton

The First Part
'When Flora with her fragrant flowers
Bedeckt the earth so trim and gaye,
And Neptune with his daintye showers
Came to present the monthe of Maye;
King Henrye rode to take the ayre,
Over the river of Thames past hee;
When eighty merchants of London came,
And downe they knelt upon their knee.

'O yee are welcome, rich merchants,
Good saylors, welcome unto mee.'
They swore by the rood, they were saylors good,
But rich merchants they cold not bee.
'To France nor Flanders dare we pass,
Nor Bordeaux voyage dare we fare;
And all for a rover that lyes on the seas,
Who robbs us of our merchant ware.'

King Henrye frownd, and turned him rounde,
And swore by the Lord that was mickle of might,
'I thought he had not beene in the world,
Durst have wrought England such unright.'
The merchants sighed, and said, 'Alas!'
And thus they did their answer frame;
'He is a proud Scott, that robbs on the seas,
And Sir Andrewe Barton is his name.'

The king loot over his left shoulder,
And an angrye look then looked hee;
'Have I never a lorde in all my realme,
Will feitch yond traytor unto mee?'
'Yea, that dare I,' Lord Howard sayes;
If it please your grace to give me leave,
Myselfe wil be the only man.'

'Thou art but yong,' the kyng replyed,
'Yond Scott hath numbred manye a yeare.'
'Trust me, my liege, Ile make him quail,
Or before my prince I will never appeare.'
'Then bowemen and gunners thou shalt have,
And chuse them over my realme so free;
Besides good mariners, and shipp-boyes,
To guide the great shipp on the sea.'

The first man that Lord Howard chose,
Was the ablest gunner in all the realme,
Thoughe he was threescore yeeres and ten;
Good Peter Simon was his name.
'Peter,' sais hee, 'I must to the sea,

[...] Read more

poem by Anonymous Olde English
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The End Of The Tour

Theres a girl with a crown and a scepter
Whos on wlsd
And she says that the scene isnt what its been
And shes thinking of going home
That its old and its totally over now
And its old and its over, its over now
And its over, its over, its over now
I can see myself
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
Never to part since the day we met
Out on interstate 91
I was bent metal you were a flaming wreck
When we kissed at the overpass
I was sailing along with the people
Driving themselves to distraction inside me
Then came a knock on the door which was odd
And the picture abruptly changed
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
This was the vehicle these were the people
You opened the door and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle these were the people
You opened the door and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle these were the people
You let them go
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
And were never gonna tour again
No, were never gonna tour again

song performed by They Might Be Giants
Added by Lucian Velea
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Under Patient Conditions

If you want to win you've got to stack the pack.
Sitting and wishing wont bring the cash.
Those with dreams work hard at tasks.
Ambition with a mission is the right ammunition.

Under patient conditions anyone can fix what's missing.
Under patient conditions anyone can fix what's missing.
Under patient conditions anyone can fix what's missing.
Ambition with a mission is the right ammunition.

If you want to win you've got to stack the pack.
Sitting and wishing wont bring the cash.
Those with dreams work hard at tasks.
Ambition with a mission is the right ammunition.

Under patient conditions anyone can fix what's missing.
Under patient conditions anyone can fix what's missing.
If you want to win you've got to stack the pack.
Sitting and wishing wont bring the cash.
Those with dreams work hard at tasks.
Ambition with a mission is the right ammunition.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Under These Conditions

Oh how I wish
You could read my mind
Cause words cant always tell it
Like it is some times
When were this close
The lights and music glow
Why dont we let our feelings
Take us where we want to go
Under these conditions
There aint no wrong or right
Were dealing with emotions
Thats running wild to night
A man needs a women
A women needs a man
And under these conditions
Hearts get out of hand
Youve got those eyes
That wont let go of me
They pull me in and out of touch
With reality
And you got those lips,
That I just got to taste
Id love to hear them whisper
Darlin take me from this place
Under these conditions
There aint no wrong or right
Were dealing with emotions
Thats running wild to night
A man needs a women
A women needs a man
And under these conditions
Hearts get out of hand

song performed by George Strait
Added by Lucian Velea
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Confessio Amantis. Explicit Liber Primus

Incipit Liber Secundus

Inuidie culpa magis est attrita dolore,
Nam sua mens nullo tempore leta manet:
Quo gaudent alii, dolet ille, nec vnus amicus
Est, cui de puro comoda velle facit.
Proximitatis honor sua corda veretur, et omnis
Est sibi leticia sic aliena dolor.
Hoc etenim vicium quam sepe repugnat amanti,
Non sibi, set reliquis, dum fauet ipsa Venus.
Est amor ex proprio motu fantasticus, et que
Gaudia fert alius, credit obesse sibi.

Now after Pride the secounde
Ther is, which many a woful stounde
Towardes othre berth aboute
Withinne himself and noght withoute;
For in his thoght he brenneth evere,
Whan that he wot an other levere
Or more vertuous than he,
Which passeth him in his degre;
Therof he takth his maladie:
That vice is cleped hot Envie.
Forthi, my Sone, if it be so
Thou art or hast ben on of tho,
As forto speke in loves cas,
If evere yit thin herte was
Sek of an other mannes hele?
So god avance my querele,
Mi fader, ye, a thousend sithe:
Whanne I have sen an other blithe
Of love, and hadde a goodly chiere,
Ethna, which brenneth yer be yere,
Was thanne noght so hot as I
Of thilke Sor which prively
Min hertes thoght withinne brenneth.
The Schip which on the wawes renneth,
And is forstormed and forblowe,
Is noght more peined for a throwe
Than I am thanne, whanne I se
An other which that passeth me
In that fortune of loves yifte.
Bot, fader, this I telle in schrifte,
That is nowher bot in o place;
For who that lese or finde grace
In other stede, it mai noght grieve:
Bot this ye mai riht wel believe,
Toward mi ladi that I serve,
Thogh that I wiste forto sterve,

[...] Read more

poem by John Gower
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In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there.

quote by Norman Wisdom
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Last Gig Of Johnny B. Goode

Writers: leo sayer & frank farrell
He pleads to his manager
There just seems to be no way out
Have one last cigarette
No time to put it out
He's quitting this time for good
This is the last gig for johnny b. goode
And now the pressure's really on
Black limousines close in
His hotel suite is really neat
But the flight nearly did him in
A telegram said break a leg
But the doctor says he's broken his head
Set up the amps
Play it loud
So no one can hear the words
Good job
They wouldn't wanna hang around
Set up the ligths
But keep em dim
So no one will see him in
The state that he's in
Ladies and gentlemen
Will you welcome for the last time
A man who if he could help it
Would not be here tonight
The man who has nothing left to prove
Bye bye johnny b. goode
The agent's looking restless
He says this house is awful bad
He said we should have booked the audience
Rather than booked the band
He's quitting this time for good
Because they won't turn up for johnny b. goode

song performed by Leo Sayer
Added by Lucian Velea
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Half A Person

Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six long years
On your trail
Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six full years of my life on your trail
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then i'll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to london and i
I booked myself in at the y ... w.c.a.
I said : "i like it here - can i stay ?
I like it here - can i stay ?
And do you have a vacancy
For a back-scrubber?"
She was left behind, and sour
And she wrote to me, equally dour
She said : "in the days when you were
Hopelessly poor
I just liked you more..."
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then i'll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to london and i
I booked myself in at the y ... w.c.a.
I said : "i like it here - can i stay ?
I like it here - can i stay ?
And do you have a vacancy
For a back-scrubber ?"
Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent too long on your trail
Far too long
Chasing your tail
Oh ...
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then i'll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
That's the story of my life
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
The story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life
The story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life

song performed by Smiths
Added by Lucian Velea
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Lorraine

"Are you ready for your steeplechase, Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorree?
Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Baree.
You’re booked to ride your capping race to-day at Coulterlee,
You’re booked to ride Vindictive, for all the world to see,
To keep him straight, and keep him first, and win the run for me."
Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Baree.

She clasp'd her newborn baby, poor Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorrèe,
Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Baree.
"I cannot ride Vindictive, as any man might see,
And I will not ride Vindictive, with this baby on my knee;
He 's kill'd a boy, he 's kill'd a man, and why must he kill me?"

"Unless you ride Vindictive, Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorree,
Unless you ride Vindictive to-day at Coulterlee,
And land him safe across the brook, and win the blank for me,
It 's you may keep your baby, for you 'll get no keep from me."

"That husbands could be cruel," said Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorrèe,
"That husbands could be cruel, I have known for seasons three;
But oh, to ride Vindictive while a baby cries for me,
And be kill'd across a fence at last for all the world to see!"

She master'd young Vindictive — O, the gallant lass was she!
And kept him straight and won the race as near as near could be;
But he kill'd her at the brook against a pollard willow tree;
Oh! he kill'd her at the brook, the brute, for all the world to see,
And no one but the baby cried for poor Lorraine, Lorree.

poem by Charles Kingsley (1874)
Added by Dan Costinaş
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Ballad: Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorree

1

'Are you ready for your steeple-chase, Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorree?
Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Barum, Baree,
You're booked to ride your capping race to-day at Coulterlee,
You're booked to ride Vindictive, for all the world to see,
To keep him straight, to keep him first, and win the run for me.
Barum, Barum,' etc.

2

She clasped her new-born baby, poor Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorree,
'I cannot ride Vindictive, as any man might see,
And I will not ride Vindictive, with this baby on my knee;
He's killed a boy, he's killed a man, and why must he kill me?'

3

'Unless you ride Vindictive, Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorree,
Unless you ride Vindictive to-day at Coulterlee,
And land him safe across the brook, and win the blank for me,
It's you may keep your baby, for you'll get no keep from me.'

4

'That husbands could be cruel,' said Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorree,
'That husbands could be cruel, I have known for seasons three;
But oh! to ride Vindictive while a baby cries for me,
And be killed across a fence at last for all the world to see!'

5

She mastered young Vindictive-Oh! the gallant lass was she,
And kept him straight and won the race as near as near could be;
But he killed her at the brook against a pollard willow-tree,
Oh! he killed her at the brook, the brute, for all the world to see,
And no one but the baby cried for poor Lorraine, Lorree.

Last poem written in illness.
Colorado, U.S.A.
June 1874.

poem by Charles Kingsley
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Single In A State Of Mind

You've got your nights,
Doubled up with meetings.
And you say your days,
Are booked from dawn 'til noon.

But what about me and my time?
You've got me in a single state of mind.
And that's not right...
For the need I have for you.

You turn off lights,
When your neighbor comes to visit.
My jaws are tight!
But there's nothing I can do.

You've got your nights,
Doubled up with meetings.
And you say your days,
Are booked from dawn 'til noon.
You think I will hesitate in waiting?
To offer someone else a dried up prune!

You turn off lights,
When your neighbor comes to visit.
My jaws are tight!
But there's nothing I can do.
Except...
Bam on your door,
Until the lights turn on.
As I watch that creeper sneak,
Back across the street.

Bam on your door,
Until the lights turn on.
As I watch that creeper sneak,
Back across the street.

'Uh...hi.
You busy?
If it's not too late,
Would you like some company? '

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
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Amazing Audacity (Revised)

Our recalcitrant colleague,
esteemed Mme Pompadour,
solved problem of being at
the office, Monday she said
booked off till today - called,
feels nauseous, can't come
in - why when she's already
arranged to stay away?

Difficult to make up sick leave
on the go, keep track what was
said when, ad hoc improvisation
on the spot - maybe she should
develop ethical standards, more
consistency in stories; we feel so
sorry when her tales go awry

Though I am glad to say that
management seems happy
with whatever she does, making
us proud by getting away with
anything, what lovely duplicity,
all has to admire and applaud
such amazing audacity!

[ORIGINAL: ]

Our recalcitrant colleague, most esteemed
Mme Pompadour - solved the problem of
irrelevant work at the office, Monday she
said booked off till Wednesday, today all
forgotten, called to say she took cortisone,
feels nauseous, she can't come in today,
why when already arranged to stay away?

It must be difficult to make up sick leave on
the go, keep track of what you said when -
ad hoc improvisation on the spot - maybe
she should write it down, develop ethical
standards-consistency in her own stories,
we feel so sorry for her when we can see
her intricate tales are going awry - though

Apparently management is happy with what-
ever she does, making us proud by getting
away with anything - what lovely duplicity,
all has to applaud such amazing audacity

poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Train

There’s a train that leads to miles away,
It’s a special train, It leaves today.
You’ve looked it up and booked it
Bought your seat,
Invested
You’ve planned your trip
The time you’ll spend
The time you’ll spend away.

It leaves at ten o’clock today.

It’s a special train that leaves today
You’ve looked it up and booked it.
Bought your seat,
Invested.
But all the same, your special train
it angry engine will not wait.

And the timing you’ve neglected

And though you’ve planned the time you’ll spend
Upon your train away.
The special train for which you’ve paid,
the train, it left today.

poem by Peggy Pollock
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Sorrow found me

Bought a ticket for a train
swam the deepest underwater caves
booked a flight on a plane
but I found nothing had changed
Sorrow still found me

But still I ran away
booked a mysterious holiday
Drove through the United States
I even changed my name
Yet Sorrow still found me

I wish he didn't know me
Wish he'd never told me
He'd come back looking for me
No one here to console me
Sorrow is so persistant

Now I know there's no hiding from the pain
I've got to stand up and face the rain
I only pray that someday he may go away
Sorrow, I hope you will forget my name

poem by Caroline Guedes
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Under These Conditions

I know were both married
Yet were both alone
Hes always working
And shes never home
If we got together
It would be so good
But under these conditions
I dont think we should
cause we both have children
And they need us around
Although were both willing
We cant let em down
As much as we want to
You know where we stand
Under these conditions
I dont think we can
We love each other
But its only in dreams
But we have to get used to the fact
Its just one of those things
Well never know how
This love could feel
And under these conditions
We never will

song performed by Vince Gill
Added by Lucian Velea
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On The Platform

When Dr. Bill Bartlett stepped out of the hum
Of Mammon's distracting and wearisome strife
To stand and deliver a lecture on 'Some
Conditions of Intellectual Life,'
I cursed the offender who gave him the hall
To lecture on any conditions at all!

But he rose with a fire divine in his eye,
Haranguing with endless abundance of breath,
Till I slept; and I dreamed of a gibbet reared high,
And Dr. Bill Bartlett was dressing for death.
And I thought in my dream: 'These conditions, no doubt,
Are bad for the life he was talking about.'

So I cried (pray remember this all was a dream):
'Get off of the platform!-it isn't the kind!'
But he fell through the trap, with a jerk at the beam,
And wiggled his toes to unburden his mind.
And, O, so bewitching the thoughts he advanced,
That I clung to his ankles, attentive, entranced!

poem by Ambrose Bierce
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Through the eyes of a Field Coronet (Epic)

Introduction

In the kaki coloured tent in Umbilo he writes
his life’s story while women, children and babies are dying,
slowly but surely are obliterated, he see how his nation is suffering
while the events are notched into his mind.

Lying even heavier on him is the treason
of some other Afrikaners who for own gain
have delivered him, to imprisonment in this place of hatred
and thoughts go through him to write a book.

Prologue

The Afrikaner nation sprouted
from Dutchmen,
who fought decades without defeat
against the super power Spain

mixed with French Huguenots
who left their homes and belongings,
with the revocation of the Edict of Nantes.
Associate this then with the fact

that these people fought formidable
for seven generations
against every onslaught that they got
from savages en wild animals

becoming marksmen, riding
and taming wild horses
with one bullet per day
to hunt a wild antelope,

who migrated right across the country
over hills in mass protest
and then you have
the most formidable adversary
and then let them fight

in a natural wilderness
where the hunter,
the sniper and horseman excels
and any enemy is at a lost.

Let them then also be patriotic
into their souls,
believe in and read
out of the word of God

[...] Read more

poem by Gert Strydom
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Coincidence Coins Serendipity

Mountains into molehills melt
As steps towards enlightened dream,
Unclear at first, may later seem
Drawn up by fate. Emotions felt,
Empowerment with cards well dealt,
Contrary winds disperse, joy's beam
May filter through black walls, blocked scheme,
And blows aimed low below the belt.
Unfair conditions in die Welt
Delight defuses, hope on stream
Ends anguish, loss of self-esteem,
Comfort challenged, doubts indwelt.
Muse's music, meditation may
Create conditions to defeat dismay.

More than before she finds felicity
At hand, within, without, without a doubt.
Unfortunate conditions round about
Divert attention from her need to key
Emotions into opportunity,
Coaslescing energy to flout
Man made blocks, internal locks, whose rout
Appears essential for heart's harmony.
Unperturbed, frustration fought, she
Defeats dismay, demands free flight. Love's drought
Ends offering expansion, joy throughout.
Coincidence coins serendipity.
Meaning, which below horizon hid,
Comes clear: fears, tears, fade, open inner lid.

poem by Jonathan Robin
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