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One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic.

quote by Lee Trevino
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Handles Bermuda

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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Luggage Canada

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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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I Better Be Good

If I ain't cool
My daddy gonna send me
To Military School
If I ain't nice
My girlie gonna freeze me
With cold shoulder ice
If I'm real late
My teacher gonna use me
For alligator bait
So, I better be good
I better be good
If I jump on the gas
The cops are gonna jump
All over my back
If I smoke too much
Doctor says he's gonna
Put my lungs in a crutch
If I'm caught without my pants
Consuelo's dad is gonna shoot
Until he sees me dance
So, I better be good
I had better be good
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - Uh, uh, uh, uh
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
You better be nice tonight
If I spray it on the seat
Lady gonna tie a big knot
In the meat
If I spewey too fast
Lover's gonna stick
My Wrangler in a cast
If zipper grabs skin
I'll know I had it out
When I shoulda kept it in
Ow.
I better be good
I better be good
I better be good
Ooh.
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice

[...] Read more

song performed by Alice Cooper
Added by Lucian Velea
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Do I consider me a senior?

I am now fifty but I am still nifty.

What construes a senior, that we are no more leaner?
What construes a senior, our skin begins to look saggy?
What construes a senior, we wear clothes that are baggy?
What construes a senior, our hair has changed to grey?
What construes a senior, we go to church, we pray?
What construes a senior, we walk with bended stoop?
What construes a senior, we can't control our poop?
What construes a senior, we live in a nursing home?
What construes a senior, we don't need a comb?
What construes a senior, we have all but one tooth?
What construes a senior, medication is like a loot?
What construes a senior, feeding the pidgeons is a hoot?
What construes a senior, no solids only liquid food?
What construes a senior, the time seems to fly?
What construes a senior, we shrivel and slowly die?
What construes a senior, we learn how to survive
What construes a senior, we do our best with our remaining life.

Copyright Philo Yan August 20,2012

poem by Philo Yan
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Do I Consider Me A Senior? 2nd Version

What construes a senior, that we are no more leaner?
What construes a senior, our skin begins to look saggy?
What construes a senior, we wear clothes that are baggy?
What construes a senior, our hair has changed to grey?
What construes a senior, we go to church, we pray?
What construes a senior, we walk with bended stoop?
What construes a senior, we can't control our poop?
What construes a senior, we live in a nursing home?
What construes a senior, we don't need a comb?
What construes a senior, we have all but one tooth?
What construes a senior, medication is like a loot?
What construes a senior, feeding the pidgeons is a hoot?
What construes a senior, no solids only liquid food?
What construes a senior, the time seems to fly?
What construes a senior, we shrivel and slowly die?
What construes a senior, we learn how to survive.
What construes a senior, we do our best with our remaining life.
I am now crossover fifty,
but I am still very nifty!

poem by Philo Yan
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Adrienne Vittadini

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[...] Read more

poem by Caasder Fronds
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Thespis: Act I

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

GODS

Jupiter, Aged Diety
Apollo, Aged Diety
Mars, Aged Diety
Diana, Aged Diety
Mercury

THESPIANS

Thespis
Sillimon
TimidonTipseion
Preposteros
Stupidas
Sparkeio n
Nicemis
Pretteia
Daphne
Cymon

ACT I - Ruined Temple on the Summit of Mount Olympus

[Scene--The ruins of the The Temple of the Gods, on summit of
Mount Olympus. Picturesque shattered columns, overgrown with
ivy, etc. R. and L. with entrances to temple (ruined) R. Fallen
columns on the stage. Three broken pillars 2 R.E. At the back of
stage is the approach from the summit of the mountain. This
should be "practicable" to enable large numbers of people to
ascend and descend. In the distance are the summits of adjacent
mountains. At first all this is concealed by a thick fog, which
clears presently. Enter (through fog) Chorus of Stars coming off
duty as fatigued with their night's work]

CHO. Through the night, the constellations,
Have given light from various stations.
When midnight gloom falls on all nations,
We will resume our occupations.

SOLO. Our light, it's true, is not worth mention;
What can we do to gain attention.
When night and noon with vulgar glaring
A great big moon is always flaring.

[During chorus, enter Diana, an elderly goddess. She is carefully
wrapped up in cloaks, shawls, etc. A hood is over her head, a
respirator in her mouth, and galoshes on her feet. During the

[...] Read more

poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
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Magical Mystery Tour

Roll up.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.
Roll up.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.

Roll up.
And that's an invitation.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.
Roll up.
To make a reservation.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.

The Magical Mystery Tour
Is waiting to take you away.
Waiting to take you away.

Roll up.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.
Roll up.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.

Roll up.
We got everything you need.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.
Roll up.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.

The Magical Mystery Tour
Is hoping to take you away.
Hoping to take you away.

(Mystery Tour..)
Ah.. The Magical Mystery Tour.
Roll up.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.

Roll up.
And that's an invitation.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.
Roll up.
To make a reservation.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.

The Magical Mystery Tour
Is coming to take you away.
Coming to take you away.

The Magical Mystery Tour
Is dying to take you away.

[...] Read more

song performed by Beatles
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Magical Mystery Tour

Roll up, roll up, roll up, roll up
Roll up
Roll up, roll up, roll up, roll up
(Roll up) I've got an invitation
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
(Roll up) To make a reservation
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
(Roll up) They got everything you need
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
(Roll up) Satisfaction guaranteed
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
The magical mystery tour
Is waiting to take you away
Waiting to take you away
(Roll up) Iave got an invitation
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
(Roll up) To make a reservation
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
(Roll up) I got everything you need
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
(Roll up) Satisfaction guaranteed
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
The magical mystery tour
Is hoping to take you away
Hoping to take you away
We're taking a trip
A mystery tour
We're taking a trip
(Oh) The magical mystery tour
(Roll up)
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
(Roll up) I've got an invitation
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
(Roll up) To make a reservation
(Roll up for the mystery tour)
The magical mystery tour
Is coming to take you away
Coming to take you away
The magical mystery tour
Is dying to take you away
Dying to take you away
Take you today

song performed by Cheap Trick
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Magical Mystery Tour

(LennonMcCartney)
[Roll up! Roll up for the magical mystery tour!
Step right this way!]
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (And that's an invitation), roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (To make a reservation), roll up for the mystery tour
The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away
Waiting to take you away
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (We've got everything you need), roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (Satisfaction guaranteed), roll up for the mystery tour
The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away
Hoping to take you away
Mystery trip
Aaaah... the magical mystery tour
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (And that's an invitation), roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (To make a reservation), roll up for the mystery tour
The magical mystery tour is coming to take you away
Coming to take you away
The magical mystery tour is dying to take you away
Dying to take you away, take you today

song performed by Paul McCartney
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Soccer Rollback

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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Talkin' Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues

by Bob Dylan
I saw it advertised one day,
Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way.
"Come along 'n' take a trip,
We'll bring you up there on a ship.
Bring the wife and kids
Bring the whole family."
Yippee!
Well, I run right down 'n' bought a ticket
To this Bear Mountain Picnic.
But little did I realize
I was in for a picnic surprise.
Had nothin' to do with mountains.
I didn't even come close to a bear.
Took the wife 'n' kids down to the pier,
Six thousand people there,
Everybody had ticket for the trip.
"Oh well." I said, "it's a pretty big ship.
Besides, anyway, the more the merrier."
Well, we all got on 'n' what d'ya think,
That big old boat started t' sink
More people kept a-pilin' on,
That old ship was a-slowly goin' down.
Funny way t' start a picnic.
Well, I soon lost track of m' kids 'n' wife,
So many people there I never saw in m' life
That old ship sinkin' down in the water,
Six thousand people tryin' t' kill each other,
Dogs a-barkin', cats a-meowin',
Women screamin', fists a-flyin', babies cryin',
Cops a-comin', me a-runnin'.
Maybe we just better call off the picnic.
I got shoved down 'n' pushed around,
All I could hear there was a screamin' sound,
Don't remember one thing more,
Just remember walkin' up on a little shore,
Head busted, stomach cracked,
Feet splintered, I was bald, naked. . .
Quite lucky to be alive though.
Feelin' like I climbed outa m' casket,
I grabbed back hold of m' picnic basket.
Took the wife 'n' kids 'n' started home,
Wishin' I'd never got up that morn.
Now, I don't care just what you do,
If you wanta have a picnic, that's up t' you.
But don't tell me about it, I don't wanta hear it,
'Cause, see, I just lost all m' picnic spirit.
Stay in m' kitchen, have m' own picnic. . .
In the bathroom.
Now, it don't seem to me quite so funny

[...] Read more

song performed by Bob Dylan
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Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues

I saw it advertised one day,
Bear mountain picnic was comin my way.
Come along n take a trip,
Well bring you up there on a ship.
Bring the wife and kids
Bring the whole family.
Yippee!
Well, I run right down n bought a ticket
To this bear mountain picnic.
But little did I realize
I was in for a picnic surprise.
Had nothin to do with mountains.
I didnt even come close to a bear.
Took the wife n kids down to the pier,
Six thousand people there,
Everybody had ticket for the trip.
Oh well. I said, its a pretty big ship.
Besides, anyway, the more the merrier.
Well, we all got on n what dya think,
That big old boat started t sink
More people kept a-pilin on,
That old ship was a-slowly goin down.
Funny way t start a picnic.
Well, I soon lost track of m kids n wife,
So many people there I never saw in m life
That old ship sinkin down in the water,
Six thousand people tryin t kill each other,
Dogs a-barkin, cats a-meowin,
Women screamin, fists a-flyin, babies cryin,
Cops a-comin, me a-runnin.
Maybe we just better call off the picnic.
I got shoved down n pushed around,
All I could hear there was a screamin sound,
Dont remember one thing more,
Just remember walkin up on a little shore,
Head busted, stomach cracked,
Feet splintered, I was bald, naked. . .
Quite lucky to be alive though.
Feelin like I climbed outa m casket,
I grabbed back hold of m picnic basket.
Took the wife n kids n started home,
Wishin Id never got up that morn.
Now, I dont care just what you do,
If you wanta have a picnic, thats up t you.
But dont tell me about it, I dont wanta hear it,
cause, see, I just lost all m picnic spirit.
Stay in m kitchen, have m own picnic. . .
In the bathroom.
Now, it dont seem to me quite so funny
What some people are gonna do fr money.

[...] Read more

song performed by Bob Dylan
Added by Lucian Velea
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The End Of The Tour

Theres a girl with a crown and a scepter
Whos on wlsd
And she says that the scene isnt what its been
And shes thinking of going home
That its old and its totally over now
And its old and its over, its over now
And its over, its over, its over now
I can see myself
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
Never to part since the day we met
Out on interstate 91
I was bent metal you were a flaming wreck
When we kissed at the overpass
I was sailing along with the people
Driving themselves to distraction inside me
Then came a knock on the door which was odd
And the picture abruptly changed
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
This was the vehicle these were the people
You opened the door and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle these were the people
You opened the door and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle these were the people
You let them go
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
And were never gonna tour again
No, were never gonna tour again

song performed by They Might Be Giants
Added by Lucian Velea
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Soccer–Passion Song

Soccer–Passion Song

Soccer in the evening;
Soccer in the morning;
Soccer in spring and fall.

Soccer in the raining;
Soccer in the snowing;
Soccer in winter and summer.

Soccer in between my feet,
where I walk;
Soccer in my heart and mind,
how I live;
Soccer my love and life.

Soccer I wake up and play;
Soccer I hold it to sleep;
Soccer my work and rest.

Soccer I sing a new song;
Soccer I dance the magic steps;
Soccer my tears and joy.

Soccer my Mom buys it for me to play;
Soccer my Dad brings me to the game;
Soccer my dear Love watches me to score.

Soccer I dribble and shoot;
Soccer I pass and fall;
Soccer my glory and downfall.

Soccer I strike to attack;
Soccer I tackle to defend;
Soccer my struggle and survival.

Soccer I receive the flags and the whistles;
Soccer I get the yellow and red card;
Soccer my moves and stop.

Soccer I meet my friends;
Soccer I make my enemies;
Soccer my conflict and peace.

Soccer I play and watch;
Soccer I watch but cannot play;
Soccer my dream and reality.

Soccer I learn the rights;
Soccer I confess the fouls;

[...] Read more

poem by Laijon Liu
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Fitration Bags

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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Wake Up Call

Its been a long time
Its been a long time
But I just can't wake up
But I just can't wake up
Back on tour
1, 2, 3
We're goin' back on 4
We'd better wake up
You gotta feel me
Just can't wake up
Back on tour
1, 2, 3
We're goin' back on 4
We'd better wake up
Back on tour
1, 2, 3
We're goin' back on 4
We'd better wake up
Just can't wake up
Its been a long time
But I just can't wake up
You gotta ah
Back on tour
1, 2, 3
We're goin' back on 4
We'd better wake up
You gotta feel me
Back on tour
1, 2, 3
We're goin' back on 4
We'd better wake up
Just can't wake up
Back on tour
1, 2, 3
We're goin' back on 4
We'd better wake up
You gotta feel me
Back on tour
1, 2, 3
We're goin' back on 4
We'd better wake up
Just can't wake up
It's been a long time
It's been a long time
Just can't wake up
Back on tour
1, 2, 3
We're goin' back on 4
We'd better wake up
You gotta feel me

[...] Read more

song performed by Prodigy
Added by Lucian Velea
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Thespis: Act II

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

GODS

Jupiter, Aged Diety
Apollo, Aged Diety
Mars, Aged Diety
Diana, Aged Diety
Mercury

THESPIANS

Thespis
Sillimon
TimidonTipseion
Preposteros
Stupidas
Sparkeio n
Nicemis
Pretteia
Daphne
Cymon

ACT II - The same Scene, with the Ruins Restored

SCENE-the same scene as in Act I with the exception that in place
of the ruins that filled the foreground of the stage, the
interior of a magnificent temple is seen showing the background
of the scene of Act I, through the columns of the portico at the
back. High throne. L.U.E. Low seats below it. All the substitute
gods and goddesses [that is to say, Thespians] are discovered
grouped in picturesque attitudes about the stage, eating and
drinking, and smoking and singing the following verses.

CHO. Of all symposia
The best by half
Upon Olympus, here await us.
We eat ambrosia.
And nectar quaff,
It cheers but don't inebriate us.
We know the fallacies,
Of human food
So please to pass Olympian rosy,
We built up palaces,
Where ruins stood,
And find them much more snug and cosy.

SILL. To work and think, my dear,
Up here would be,

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poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
Added by Poetry Lover
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Game Show

Last night we were watching this game show
They were talking bout marriage
And that stuff you know
I found myself laughing
Cause those couples werent clear
And then here he comes with this bright idea
So I said to him
I know you mean well
Youre genuine I can tell
Besides you and me
I know that we would soar
But are you ready?
You gotta be sure, you gotta be sure
Oh no, I know you got the feeling, hold on
Baby, youre price aint right, hold on
I know you got the feeling, hold on
Hey this is my life, hold on
I know you got the feeling, hold on
Baby youre price aint right, I know
You feel like hitting the ceiling, hold on
Hey this is my life, hold on
So were arguing
Talking about it back and forth
And forth and back as if there is no source
And now Im wondering
Is this what he had in mind?
Cause if I thought wed get through that door
Tell me whats gonna be my price
So I said to him
Game show, game show, game show
Game show, game show, game show
Game show, game show, game show
Game show, game show, game show
Game show, game show, game show
Game show, game show, game show
Game show, game show, game show
I know you mean well
Youre genuine I can tell
Besides you and me
I know that we would soar
But are you ready?
You gotta be sure, you gotta be sure
Oh no, I know you got the feeling, hold on
Baby, youre price aint right, hold on
I know you got the feeling, hold on
Hey this is my life, hold on
I know you got the feeling, hold on
Baby youre price aint right, I know
You feel like hitting the ceiling, hold on
Hey this is my life, hold on

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song performed by Kelis
Added by Lucian Velea
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