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Everything I've ever done was out of fear of being mediocre.

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Losing Life to Fear

In fear of being heard,

In fear of being understood,


In fear of not being heard,

In fear of not being understood,


In fear of being misheard,

In fear of being misunderstood,


In fear of hearing too much,

In fear of understanding too much,

In fear of saying too much,

In fear of saying too little,


In fear of being too enlightened,

In fear of not being factually correct,


In fear of being too bright,

In fear of being too ignorant,

In fear of being praised,

In fear of being bullied,


In fear of not being like others,

In fear of loosing my individuality,


In fear of being ostracized,

In fear of being camouflaged,

[...] Read more

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Fears of a teenage mafioso

Fear of love,
Fear of pain,
Fear of the unforgiving cane,
Fear of lies,
Fear of sighs,
Fear of those distraught eyes,
Fear for the unknown,
Fear for the known,
Fear of everything combined,
Fear is what makes me blind,
Fear is what makes me think,
and act in blind accordance,
Hindering the world around me,
Hence, My Fear of myself
Fear is when you run away,
Fear is when you’re scared to love someone,
Fear is when the sky turns grey,
Fear of confusion,
Fear is like a dark blue ocean,
Fear won’t let me escape
Fear mocks me, watching
Fear taunts me, waiting
Fear of losing,
Fear you cannot see,
Fear dealt upon thee.
Fear of darkness and death,
Fear of a dead comrade,
Fear of a gun being cocked,
Fear of being endlessly stalked,
Fear of time,
Fear of all the crime,
Fear of the undesirable truth,
Fear for the good.
Fear for the sake of life,
Fear of the neighbors next door,
Fear of the secretive man in the subway,
Fear of the revolutionary uproar,
Fear is to not rejoice your living,
Fear for the sake of your life,
But to fear is to forsake it.
Fear is to have no hope in life,
Fear of the fear of fear,
We need no reason to fear,
For fear has no reason for itself.
I guess life is just like that,
To fear for no reason,
For to fear is not to reason,
But to reason is to fear.
To fear for the sake of fear,
Is fear for fear,

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People Mediocre Later Weep

Give up your best,
To the one you are sure will catch it.
Don't just give it up...
To anyone who 'might' fetch it!

Give up your best,
To the one you are sure will catch it.
Don't just give it up...
To anyone who 'might' fetch it!

People undecided don't know what it is they want.
So don't give up your best...
To anyone to fetch,
It.

People mediocre will choose anything to flaunt,
Without a knowing what they want.
Thinking anything that gleems,
Is a 'keeper'.

People undecided don't know what it is they want.
So don't give up your best...
To anyone to fetch,
It.

Give up your best,
To the one you are sure will catch it.
Don't just give it up...
To anyone who 'might' fetch it!

People mediocre will choose anything to flaunt,
Without a knowing what they want.
Thinking anything that gleems,
Is a 'keeper'...
To later weep.

People mediocre will choose anything to flaunt,
Without a knowing what they want...
To later weep.
In their misery.

People mediocre,
Later weep...
Without a sleeping.
People mediocre,
Later weep.

People mediocre,
Can not sleep.
And...

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Loath and Fear

If I would rely on phrenology,
Or science, or mythology,
I'd burn down this damned city
And disembark in a conclusion
Of the ugly veracity:
I loathe everything!
I fear everything!
I loathe that I am writing about loathing
And I fear that I might lose every one
Though I barely have anyone,
So I loathe even more on this fear.
I loathe that I write about myself all the time, and
I fear that I might not be writing at all
I loathe that I would narrate a story
In the surreal slopes of enigma, and
I fear, afterwards, that no one will pry
To understand or even console.
I loathe that my mouth cannot mouth
What my hands opted to write, and
I fear that my hands aren't equipped
To write what I cannot mouth.
I loathe even more that I build walls
For people to beat down and divulge
The forlorn boy inside, and yet
I fear to be found.
And I loathe to the point of breaking
That no one ever cared to pry
And that makes me shudder in fear, and
I fear this kind of loathing
And loathe this kind of fear.
I loathe that I cannot gain readers, and
I fear that I may never have
I loathe that readers appreciates the writing
But not the congealed brook
Between the lines of it, and
I fear that they might not even
Appreciate the spilled blood
In every line of it.
I loathe, I fear,
That apart from writing
I am never good at anything
Except maybe from fearing and loathing.
I loathe that I blame the past
For making me loathe a lot, and
For making me fear a lot
For making me loathe sports, and
For making me fear trying
And all the brusquely recreations
And the shame of failing.
I loathe, I fear,

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Its That Fear

It's that fear
Ooo very scary! !
I bet you don't know it
Keeps you worried

It's that fear...
Very loud in your ear..
But not everyone could hear

It's that fear
Why? Y u even here
Leaving people in tears..

It's that fear
Born and raised
Can be of denial
Struggles, family or revival

It's that fear
That keeps consuming..
Consuming us in out! !
Eating us away...

It's that fear
The fear we hate
Come to us in pace
In life circumstance

It's that fear
Can anyone hear?
Like a monster or dear?
I wish it was fair..

it's that fear
Some say never fear
But in the back they tear
Overwhelmed can't even dare
Trying to overcome the fear..

It's that fear
The fear which keep us
Us alive and awake
Awake from unexpected

Awake to fight against
It's that fear
I want all to hear..
You and me here..
We need to chase Mr. Fear

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Fear

Fear of seeing a police car pull into the drive.
Fear of falling asleep at night.
Fear of not falling asleep.
Fear of the past rising up.
Fear of the present taking flight.
Fear of the telephone that rings in the dead of night.
Fear of electrical storms.
Fear of the cleaning woman who has a spot on her cheek!
Fear of dogs I've been told won't bite.
Fear of anxiety!
Fear of having to identify the body of a dead friend.
Fear of running out of money.
Fear of having too much, though people will not believe this.
Fear of psychological profiles.
Fear of being late and fear of arriving before anyone else.
Fear of my children's handwriting on envelopes.
Fear they'll die before I do, and I'll feel guilty.
Fear of having to live with my mother in her old age, and mine.
Fear of confusion.
Fear this day will end on an unhappy note.
Fear of waking up to find you gone.
Fear of not loving and fear of not loving enough.
Fear that what I love will prove lethal to those I love.
Fear of death.
Fear of living too long.
Fear of death.

I've said that.

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After The Poems What Will Be For Me?

After the poems, what will be for me?
I am now wholly in them
But they are not as good
As I dreamed
And I as a poet am not the answer to my own ambition.

Will it be ‘Stories’ next?
And then on to ‘Aphoristic reflections’ Pascal- like?

How will I do it?
Or will, as seems most likely now, how will I never do it?

I am the mediocre poet who is the mediocre writer who is the mediocre thinker who is mediocre in all he does

I am the mediocrity and my mediocrity makes me me.
Mediocre me- Pity pity the poor ambitious soul
Who would have been great, and is not.

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Fear In The Middle Of The Night

FEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

Fear in the middle of the night-
Fear and horrible imaginings-
Fear of my life,
Fear for those I love and our world,
Fear in the early morning
Fear and more fear-
Fear broken a bit by the light,
Fear broken a bit by morning prayer,
Fear broken a bit by ‘learning’,
Fear broken a bit by writing,
Fear broken a bit by morning coffee,
Fear less-
Fear in the neck and in the mind-
Fear down the spine-
Fear less in the light,
Fear of the night
Fear of the morning,
Fear of my life,
Fear for those I love and our world,
Fear.
Fear and fear less-
In the writing
In the prayer before prayer-
In the walking outside up to Shul
In the morning light
Fear gone for now,
Fear.

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Fear is...

Fear is stormy weather
Fear is light as a feather
Fear is rain
Fear is pain
Fear is hiding in the dark
Fear is lingering at the park
Fear is not your friend
Fear is hard to comprehend
Fear is not knowing what to do
Fear is what ever he wants to
Fear is turning out the lights
Fear is having no sight
Fear is going to give you a thrill
Fear is also going to make you kill
Fear is never fun
Fear is going to make you run
Fear is that scary little voice
Fear is going to give you no other choice
Fear is losing someone
Fear is like a loaded gun
Fear is something you can't control
Fear is something you can't unfold
Fear is the opposite of love
Fear is what we're made of
Fear is not going to plea
Fear is always me...

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What is fear?

Fear is stormy weather
Fear is light as a feather
Fear is rain
Fear is pain
Fear is hiding in the dark
Fear is lingering at the park
Fear is not your friend
Fear is hard to comprehend
Fear is not knowing what to do
Fear is what ever he wants to
Fear is turning out the lights
Fear is having no sight
Fear is going to give you a thrill
Fear is also going to make you kill
Fear is never fun
Fear is going to make you run
Fear is that scary little voice
Fear is going to give you no other choice
Fear is losing someone
Fear is like a loaded gun
Fear is something you can't control
Fear is something you can't unfold
Fear is the opposite of love
Fear is what we're made of
Fear is not going to please
Fear is always me...

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The Brave Fear

A fear that dispels all other fears
A fear that conquers all other fears
A fear that elevates
A fear that sustains
The brave fear

To have it is to fear
To maintain it is to obey
To fear the Creator
To obey His majesty
The brave fear

A fear that defeats that of death
A fear that is from God’s providence
A fear that imparts confidence
A fear that imparts mirth
The brave fear

This fear from the Lord comes
This fear to the Lord directs
All your being and resources
All your future in His hands it places
The brave fear

Fear this fear not
Possess this fear
Buy this fair fear
With all your fair lot
The brave fear

To buy this fear
Wise is to grow
Security you bear
Your life to reach the brow
The brave fear

The brow of living
In eternity peacefully
The brow of being
What God created you to be fully
The brave fear

The brave fear is this
That all other fears you may have
Exchange them with this
That Christ is there you to save
From all other coward fears

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There is no Fear

The people of this world, if against they stand,
There is no fear, there is no fear, nothing like fear.

Although, we are counted cheap and rebuked,
There is no fear , there is no fear , nothing like fear.

If to beg for food, would be a life attained,
There is no fear , there is no fear , nothing like fear.

Loveable possessions if, are lost,
There is no fear , there is no fear , nothing like fear.

2. If clothed bosomed damsels, cast their eyes
There is no fear , there is no fear , nothing like fear.

Poison in the mouth, if fed by friends
There is no fear , there is no fear , nothing like fear.

Shielded armies, if to attack approach
There is no fear , there is no fear , nothing like fear.

On the acme of my head, if the sky did crash and plummet down
There is no fear , there is no fear , nothing like fear.

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Self Is Grand Mother Of All!

Knowledge is mother of fear,
minion of mother,
Understands what is fear,
Knowledge of pain,
Knowledge of failure,
knowledge of action and reaction
and when grown up,
becomes minion of fears!

Soul in the growing body,
knowledge becomes mother of fear,
May be pain of a fall,
Or a bite of ants or wasps,
knowledge of things around us is mother of fear!

Knowledge of own capabilities and inabilities,
Knowledge of bondage and faults,
Old age and death,
knowledge of pain
strain,
failure or insult,
knowledge of fall is mother of all fears!

Body, mind and intelligence,
When glows with knowledge of world,
Every thought and action,
Orbits around unknown fear,
Spinning or rotating around axis of fear,
its cute pet name is carefullness!

Paradoxically,
Fear is mother of all Knowledge,
Fear of fall,
Makes one carefull on walk,
Fear of consequences,
Makes one to think right,
act right or walk straight,
Fear is mother of all Knowledge,
Takes one above the plane,
or takes one to man of knowledge,
Make one polite and flexible,
fear of death makes one to think of eternal,
Fear of law, may be law of land,
Law of divine or law of nature is mother of knowledge,
Everyone is comes with lesson,
Either to teach or to learn,
Every fear of consequences is mother of all Knowledge divine!

Fear of flaws of own,
or flaws in human laws is mother of all Knowledge!

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Fear is the KEY!

Fear is the Key!

Frightened to day as usual everyday
With;
‘Things to Do’ through out the DAY
Music’s to face ahead of the DAY
Frightened about the shave; and that After Shave!
Not sure yet; it may cut or it may cajole
It may burn or it may sooth
Not sure of the Soap Box
And Dye sachets/
Full or empty?

Can't trust even the ‘flush’ will do its duty normally or haath degaa?
Else, swindle me with empty sound ‘Dang –Dang’!
Maid Servant ‘Aayegi or Haath degi?
Daily affair; but new-fangled every morning

Fear; every morning!

Fear every after noon and after
Fear till return home!
Fear till woke up in the morning!
A croppy list of this and that
Right from dropping the cheque in the box
Paying the telephone bill in the booth
Picking the kid from the school
Boiling the milk in the cooker

Fear of facing that cranky lady in the Bank;
Fear of ATM sign boards ‘inconvenience caused regretted’
Causes our heart bleed!

Fear of Credit Cards
Fear of debt traps!
Fear of crowded buses
Fear of lonely journeys

Fear of the owner!
Fear of the increasing rent!

Fear of pending work
Fear of bloodcurdling Boss!

Fear of haughty Hubby
Fear of wimpy wife
Fear of care free Kids
Fear of careless Parents!

Fear of fellow human

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Postnatal Depression

I fear my little child.

I fear that she will not feed and grow strong and healthy,
I fear that she will stop breathing when I am out of the room or selfishly asleep,
I fear that she will become ill because of something I have done or did not do,
I fear that she will be in pain and I will not know why.

I fear that her father will reject her,
I fear that her father will reject me,
I fear that her father will compete for her love and that she will love him more,
I fear that her father will be distant and that she will not love him enough.

I fear that others will think that I am incompetent,
I fear that others will assume that I am capable,
I fear that others will force upon me unhelpful or unwanted advice,
I fear that others will believe I can cope.

I fear the loneliness of endless days without contact,
I fear the emptiness of endless nights without love,
I fear the weakness of endless days without proper meals,
I fear the weariness of endless nights without sleep.

I fear inexperience.
I fear uncertainty.
I fear guilt.
I fear despair.

I fear my little child.

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Byron

The Corsair

'O'er the glad waters of the dark blue sea,
Our thoughts as boundless, and our soul's as free
Far as the breeze can bear, the billows foam,
Survey our empire, and behold our home!
These are our realms, no limits to their sway-
Our flag the sceptre all who meet obey.
Ours the wild life in tumult still to range
From toil to rest, and joy in every change.
Oh, who can tell? not thou, luxurious slave!
Whose soul would sicken o'er the heaving wave;
Not thou, vain lord of wantonness and ease!
whom slumber soothes not - pleasure cannot please -
Oh, who can tell, save he whose heart hath tried,
And danced in triumph o'er the waters wide,
The exulting sense - the pulse's maddening play,
That thrills the wanderer of that trackless way?
That for itself can woo the approaching fight,
And turn what some deem danger to delight;
That seeks what cravens shun with more than zeal,
And where the feebler faint can only feel -
Feel - to the rising bosom's inmost core,
Its hope awaken and Its spirit soar?
No dread of death if with us die our foes -
Save that it seems even duller than repose:
Come when it will - we snatch the life of life -
When lost - what recks it but disease or strife?
Let him who crawls enamour'd of decay,
Cling to his couch, and sicken years away:
Heave his thick breath, and shake his palsied head;
Ours - the fresh turf; and not the feverish bed.
While gasp by gasp he falters forth his soul,
Ours with one pang - one bound - escapes control.
His corse may boast its urn and narrow cave,
And they who loath'd his life may gild his grave:
Ours are the tears, though few, sincerely shed,
When Ocean shrouds and sepulchres our dead.
For us, even banquets fond regret supply
In the red cup that crowns our memory;
And the brief epitaph in danger's day,
When those who win at length divide the prey,
And cry, Remembrance saddening o'er each brow,
How had the brave who fell exulted now!'

II.
Such were the notes that from the Pirate's isle
Around the kindling watch-fire rang the while:
Such were the sounds that thrill'd the rocks along,
And unto ears as rugged seem'd a song!
In scatter'd groups upon the golden sand,
They game-carouse-converse-or whet the brand:

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William Shakespeare

Venus and Adonis

'Vilia miretur vulgus; mihi flavus Apollo
Pocula Castalia plena ministret aqua.'

To the right honorable Henry Wriothesly, Earl of Southampton, and Baron of Tichfield.
Right honorable.

I know not how I shall offend in dedicating my unpolished lines to your lordship, nor how the world will censure me for choosing so strong a prop to support so weak a burden only, if your honour seem but pleased, I account myself highly praised, and vow to take advantage of all idle hours, till I have honoured you with some graver labour. But if the first heir of my invention prove deformed, I shall be sorry it had so noble a god-father, and never after ear so barren a land, for fear it yield me still so bad a harvest. I leave it to your honourable survey, and your honour to your heart's content; which I wish may always answer your own wish and the world's hopeful expectation.

Your honour's in all duty.

Even as the sun with purple-colour'd face
Had ta'en his last leave of the weeping morn,
Rose-cheek'd Adonis hied him to the chase;
Hunting he loved, but love he laugh'd to scorn;
Sick-thoughted Venus makes amain unto him,
And like a bold-faced suitor 'gins to woo him.
'Thrice-fairer than myself,' thus she began,
'The field's chief flower, sweet above compare,
Stain to all nymphs, more lovely than a man,
More white and red than doves or roses are;
Nature that made thee, with herself at strife,
Saith that the world hath ending with thy life.
'Vouchsafe, thou wonder, to alight thy steed,
And rein his proud head to the saddle-bow;
If thou wilt deign this favour, for thy meed
A thousand honey secrets shalt thou know:
Here come and sit, where never serpent hisses,
And being set, I'll smother thee with kisses;
'And yet not cloy thy lips with loathed satiety,
But rather famish them amid their plenty,
Making them red and pale with fresh variety,
Ten kisses short as one, one long as twenty:
A summer's day will seem an hour but short,
Being wasted in such time-beguiling sport.'
With this she seizeth on his sweating palm,
The precedent of pith and livelihood,
And trembling in her passion, calls it balm,
Earth's sovereign salve to do a goddess good:
Being so enraged, desire doth lend her force
Courageously to pluck him from his horse.
Over one arm the lusty courser's rein,
Under her other was the tender boy,
Who blush'd and pouted in a dull disdain,
With leaden appetite, unapt to toy;
She red and hot as coals of glowing fire,
He red for shame, but frosty in desire.
The studded bridle on a ragged bough
Nimbly she fastens:--O, how quick is love!--
The steed is stalled up, and even now
To tie the rider she begins to prove:

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Your God Is Fear

Your god is fear
That all you are
Is all there is
Your god is fear
And nothing more
Of all of this
Your god is fear
Been and gone
in the blink of an eye
Fear of ever breathing
Fear of ever leaving
Fear of ever changing
Forever, for now
Your god is fear
Your god is fear
Your god is fear
Your god is fear
That all you are
Is all there is
Your god is fear
Of nothing more
Than all of this
Your god is fear
Been and gone
In the blink of an eye
Fear of ever choosing it
Fear of ever losing it
Fear of ever playing
Forever, for now
Your god is fear
Your god is fear
Your god is fear
Just for a moment
Feel it inside
Feel it alive
Feel your desire
Feel it catch fire
Feel it inspire
How all you are
Is all there is
Nothing ever moves
In anything
Open your mind
Step out of time
Let yourself die
And your god is
Your god is
Your god...

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VI. Giuseppe Caponsacchi

Answer you, Sirs? Do I understand aright?
Have patience! In this sudden smoke from hell,—
So things disguise themselves,—I cannot see
My own hand held thus broad before my face
And know it again. Answer you? Then that means
Tell over twice what I, the first time, told
Six months ago: 't was here, I do believe,
Fronting you same three in this very room,
I stood and told you: yet now no one laughs,
Who then … nay, dear my lords, but laugh you did,
As good as laugh, what in a judge we style
Laughter—no levity, nothing indecorous, lords!
Only,—I think I apprehend the mood:
There was the blameless shrug, permissible smirk,
The pen's pretence at play with the pursed mouth,
The titter stifled in the hollow palm
Which rubbed the eyebrow and caressed the nose,
When I first told my tale: they meant, you know,
"The sly one, all this we are bound believe!
"Well, he can say no other than what he says.
"We have been young, too,—come, there's greater guilt!
"Let him but decently disembroil himself,
"Scramble from out the scrape nor move the mud,—
"We solid ones may risk a finger-stretch!
And now you sit as grave, stare as aghast
As if I were a phantom: now 't is—"Friend,
"Collect yourself!"—no laughing matter more—
"Counsel the Court in this extremity,
"Tell us again!"—tell that, for telling which,
I got the jocular piece of punishment,
Was sent to lounge a little in the place
Whence now of a sudden here you summon me
To take the intelligence from just—your lips!
You, Judge Tommati, who then tittered most,—
That she I helped eight months since to escape
Her husband, was retaken by the same,
Three days ago, if I have seized your sense,—
(I being disallowed to interfere,
Meddle or make in a matter none of mine,
For you and law were guardians quite enough
O' the innocent, without a pert priest's help)—
And that he has butchered her accordingly,
As she foretold and as myself believed,—
And, so foretelling and believing so,
We were punished, both of us, the merry way:
Therefore, tell once again the tale! For what?
Pompilia is only dying while I speak!
Why does the mirth hang fire and miss the smile?
My masters, there's an old book, you should con
For strange adventures, applicable yet,

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William Shakespeare

Venus and Adonis

Even as the sun with purple-colour'd face
Had ta'en his last leave of the weeping morn,
Rose-cheek'd Adonis tried him to the chase;
Hunting he lov'd, but love he laugh'd to scorn;
Sick-thoughted Venus makes amain unto him,
And like a bold-fac'd suitor 'gins to woo him.
'Thrice fairer than myself,' thus she began,
'The field's chief flower, sweet above compare,
Stain to all nymphs, more lovely than a man,
More white and red than doves or roses are;
Nature that made thee, with herself at strife,
Saith that the world hath ending with thy life.
'Vouchsafe, thou wonder, to alight thy steed,
And rein his proud head to the saddle-bow;
If thou wilt deign this favour, for thy meed
A thousand honey secrets shalt thou know:
Here come and sit, where never serpent hisses;
And being set, I'll smother thee with kisses:
'And yet not cloy thy lips with loath'd satiety,
But rather famish them amid their plenty,
Making them red and pale with fresh variety;
Ten kisses short as one, one long as twenty:
A summer's day will seem an hour but short,
Being wasted in such time-beguiling sport.'
With this she seizeth on his sweating palm,
The precedent of pith and livelihood,
And, trembling in her passion, calls it balm,
Earth's sovereign salve to do a goddess good:
Being so enrag'd, desire doth lend her force
Courageously to pluck him from his horse.
Over one arm the lusty courser's rein
Under her other was the tender boy,
Who blush'd and pouted in a dull disdain,
With leaden appetite, unapt to toy;
She red and hot as coals of glowing fire
He red for shame, but frosty in desire.
The studded bridle on a ragged bough
Nimbly she fastens;--O! how quick is love:--
The steed is stalled up, and even now
To tie the rider she begins to prove:
Backward she push'd him, as she would be thrust,
And govern'd him in strength, though not in lust.
So soon was she along, as he was down,
Each leaning on their elbows and their hips:
Now doth she stroke his cheek, now doth he frown,
And 'gins to chide, but soon she stops his lips;
And kissing speaks, with lustful language broken,
'If thou wilt chide, thy lips shall never open.'
He burns with bashful shame; she with her tears
Doth quench the maiden burning of his cheeks;

[...] Read more

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