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It's not rage that drives me, it's competition.

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To Be Free of Not Having Children

My mother would have my sister and I...
As kids,
To go look for a nice sized switch.
Then strip it before she whipped us with it!

And then dared us to cry...
As if we weren't already hurting inside.
Then made us stand up straight,
As if at attention.
Telling us not to roll our eyes.
And not a word she wanted heard mentioned.

One day I did something...
And I chose from my mother to run.
I was stunned she was running right behind me fast.
She snatched me by the neck,
And proceeded to spank my ass!

Disciplined?
My mother played softball,
And my father had been a boxer.
Do you think I have survived all these years...
Trying to out foxed those two.
Knowing what they could do...
And convinced they did well at what they did!

Disciplined?
We were not told twice,
To do something again they said they did not like.
And my father did not have to raise a finger.
All he did was use his eyes.
'Daddy, please! Don't look at me like that! '
But my mother on the other hand,
Commanded well our ship!
Whenever she began to raise her voice...
Mimmie and I knew we were heading for something quick!
And crying we would do first...
Because we knew there was no exit!

I can hear my mother's voice today.
If I had threatened to call 911.
She would hand me the phone and tell me to dial.
And if the police should arrive...
They would discover a missing child.

Both of my parents were extremely humorous.
However...
My mama did not play,
If we did not obey!
In those days when parenting
Was out of the hands of the government!

And although we may have grown up 'slightly' dysfunctional.
Dysfunctions and all...
Today?
We are happy we grew up the way we did.

And if I had children,
Living today as these 'hardhead' children do...
I wouldn't dare them to call 911.
That option?
Not available!
Not if I'm to play poppa.
No!
They wouldn't get a chance to!

And I might be visited as I sat in prison!
But any child of mine...
Would get a rod struck to their behind.
Like lightening...hot and sizzling.
Sparing me the grief that today's parents find.

My children would pay me attention.
And we together would share respect.
Perhaps that's why I live my life blessed.
To be free of not having children!
I could not stand by as they lived lives,
Attracted to standards bathed in degradation.
I'm not 'that' patriotic!

And to live without feeling guilt...
Or in a remorse,
That leaves me in debt AND regret!
I am grateful to be that blessed...
Yes.

I know my limitations.
And I am glad I do not have children,
Insisting to see me pushed to them!
I love my life lived...
Without displaying a rage that drives me crazed,
And confined!

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I Do Not Expect That....(for My Wife)

i do not expect that you will be perfect,

and sometimes, i wish you to do wrong
so that you may be in the future strong,

that you commit some errors
so you will know the meaning of some tremors

i do not expect you to be like God
in His Omnipotence,
i like you in this human state
so close to me
warm and real.

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They Can Not Do That On Their Own

Could a wisdom be hidden.
And purposely deprive someone?
Could opportunities be granted...
For those who are selected?
And medocrity becomes accepted,
By those neglected.
At the expense of those degreed,
But incompetently assigned to think.
And they can not do that on their own!
As observations of this has shown.

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Friendships Do Not Begin That Way

What purpose is served by befriending someone,
With the giving of respect?
Who later offends with a comfort that generates,
A disrespecting with a belief what is done is okay?
It isn't!

If friendships do not begin that way,
More often than not...
That is usually the way they end!
With someone feeling highly offended.
And another comprehending the reason.

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The Stars Do Not Know That They Are Stars

THE STARS DO NOT KNOW THAT THEY ARE STARS

The stars do not know that they are stars
They do not know how violent they are-
They do not know they inspire human dreams
They do not know that they are more distant than they seem-

The stars do not know that they are stars
They do not know we do not see them as they are-
They do not know that trillions of transformations from now
They will not even be gaseous clouds.

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Do Not Look That Far Enough

in looking for truth
you do not have to travel that far enough

the seven seas
and their continents
the high heavens
the deepest core

the truth is right there inside your heart
the love you are seeking
the enlightenment is just right there
in the middle of your mind

do not travel that far to look for the person you love
i am just right here

writing a poem for you
am i too near to be seen and to be touched by you?

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John Dryden

You charm'd me not with that fair face

You charm'd me not with that fair face
Though it was all divine:
To be another's is the grace,
That makes me wish you mine.

The Gods and Fortune take their part
Who like young monarchs fight;
And boldly dare invade that heart
Which is another's right.

First mad with hope we undertake
To pull up every bar;
But once possess'd, we faintly make
A dull defensive war.

Now every friend is turn'd a foe
In hope to get our store:
And passion makes us cowards grow,
Which made us brave before.

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That Drives Me Crazy

It's the look in your eyes when we have to say goodbye,

That drives me crazy!

It's the way you kiss my lips and I know that this is it,

That drives me crazy!

It's the touch of your hand that says let's do it again,

That drives me crazy!

When we're all alone at night and we both know this is right,

That drives me crazy!

Each day my feelings for you grow,

Baby I don't need to guess I know,

That you are a special man,

And it's you I want to take to lovers land,

See the expressions of our love are far from lazy, and boy

That drives me crazy!

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William Shakespeare

Sonnet 123: No, Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change

No, Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change.
Thy pyramids built up with newer might
To me are nothing novel, nothing strange;
They are but dressings of a former sight.
Our dates are brief, and therefore we admire
What thou dost foist upon us that is old,
And rather make them born to our desire
Than think that we before have heard them told.
Thy registers and thee I both defy,
Not wond'ring at the present, nor the past,
For thy records, and what we see doth lie,
Made more or less by thy continual haste:
This I do vow and this shall ever be:
I will be true despite thy scythe and thee.

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Not For that City

Not for that city of the level sun,
Its golden streets and glittering gates ablaze—
The shadeless, sleepless city of white days,
White nights, or nights and days that are as one—
We weary, when all is said , all thought, all done.
We strain our eyes beyond this dusk to see
What, from the threshold of eternity
We shall step into. No, I think we shun
The splendour of that everlasting glare,
The clamour of that never-ending song.
And if for anything we greatly long,
It is for some remote and quiet stair
Which winds to silence and a space for sleep
Too sound for waking and for dreams too deep.

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This Is Not About That

This is not about that.
Or will it be dragged into discussion,
To satisfy a rush to judgement.
That is about confinement,
And conditional ignorance.
This is about a movement from that...
With a comprehension that attracts.
And does not offend differences of opinions,
Given.
This is not about that.
Or the lack of understanding.
This is about assisting the increase,
Of one's peace of mind!
This comes with a will to seek our happiness.
And that is a struggle held to be kept intact!
And this is doing the best it can...
To become uplifted and removed,
From a diffusion that traps!
This is about a cohesiveness.
One that stops all of that!

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I Will Not Take That Much Anymore

I have aged a lot after such a short time and I look
Like an old man, a useless man, a man who can do nothing and give you nothing.
When I speak to you I forget and would have a hard time recalling that it was you and that I was speaking to you, I am like an old useless part of your household
I will not take that much about myself anymore
I cannot speak that much that which you have expected from me
I cannot take that much load anymore and I am surrendering myself to you
Begging for laxity
Begging to understanding
I cannot take that much anymore, I will take less time
I am an old useless man and you can now convert me into

A biscuit.

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George Meredith

Modern Love XII: Not Solely That the Future

Not solely that the Future she destroys,
And the fair life which in the distance lies
For all men, beckoning out from dim rich skies:
Nor that the passing hour's supporting joys
Have lost the keen-edged flavour, which begat
Distinction in old times, and still should breed
Sweet Memory, and Hope,--earth's modest seed,
And heaven's high-prompting: not that the world is flat
Since that soft-luring creature I embraced,
Among the children of Illusion went:
Methinks with all this loss I were content,
If the mad Past, on which my foot is based,
Were firm, or might be blotted: but the whole
Of life is mixed: the mocking Past will stay:
And if I drink oblivion of a day,
So shorten I the stature of my soul.

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The bus that drives to Vryburg

From Pretoria station
I take a bus that drives to Vryburg
to go and fetch a car.
Cornfields flashes past
and all of the people round me
tells a bit of the things that hurt.

One is going to a funeral because her brother died
and the bus drives on
with the road that stretches out in front of it.
Another is going to her parent’s home
she can find nowhere else to go
and is unmarried and pregnant.
The nearer we get to Vryburg
the more scared she becomes
and the bus drives on.
An Older man has lost his job
and restarts his career in Vryburg.

So everyone of us are caught
our own world with freedom that always stays away
and fate from which everything hangs
and I wonder when everybody in this country
will ever get a Vryburg.

[Vryburg=> The name of a city in the Northern Cape province. Meaning place of freedom or free city.]

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Your Family Can Not Be That Big

How large is my family?
Is that what you asked me?

'Yes.
I heard it was big.'

Well...
I will say this and I know you will think I exaggerate.
And this is just my father's side.
IF I had the ambition to visit each one of my relatives,
Everyday for the next five years...
I still would offend someone who heard I was doing this.
Because I was not able to do it to satisfy a visit to everyone.

'Your family can not be that big.'

And my mother's family is larger than my father's.
That's why I feel I am blessed to live alone.
And be able to stay away from all that drama.
I would not get a thing done if I made promises to them,
With intentions to attempt to keep them.

'A few don't speak to me now,
Because they believe I'm stand-offish.
They have no idea...
That I am the one trying to get things done,
With beliefs that the coast is clear.
Without me stopping to hear about who did what to who...
And where have I been and what have I been doing,
Since the last time they saw me attempting to escape.'

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He Does Not Sleep That Well At Night

He does not sleep that well at night though his troubles are small
The possums walking on his roof the rats squeak in the wall,
The boobook owl is crying mopoke on the trees across the way
He used to sleep without once waking till after break of day.

He does not sleep that well at night his wife beside him snore
He lay beside her wide awake for three hours sometimes more
The moon shines through the window pane he hear the plover cry
And the hunting fox is barking in the old paddock nearby.


He does not sleep that well at night he lay in bed awake
And the voices of the nocturnal creatures he cannot mistake
The frogs are singing in the ponds to tell that rain is near
And occasionally the barking of the neighbourhood dogs he hear.

He goes to bed at ten o clock but he doesn't get to sleep till around two
Although he must get up to go to work at seven still his worries seem so few
Compared to some who do sleep well with him it used not to be this way
He often slept for ten hours straight till after break of day.

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I Did Not Read That Book

You'd like for me to be the one,
To engage as 'you' play...
The cat,
And I the mouse.
Under one roof.
As you stop and go,
As you choose.

Or a round of 'tag'...
For me to guess,
What mood you are in.
As you disappear to sit...
To leave me wondering,
If it is time for 'hide and seek'.
Depleting me of emotions...
Guessing for weeks,
Where you may be...
When you decide to abandon me.
With my needs and desires...
To take care of with my right hand?

That time you may plan for me to waste,
While you charade in escapades...
Enjoying those escapes,
Will not happen here in my life!

You want to find yourself?
To explore excuses to live?
I don't have to give you that permission.
Those conditions I will not condone.
That is why your calls I have ignored.
And decided to leave you alone!

I do not have an open door policy.
Not for that kind of attraction...
You believe motivates me to love!
I did not read that book!
Nor am I the author of any stupidity,
You 'think' I might authorize...
As a highlight for a way of life,
You and I will live!
I don't think so.
You should not base 'my' thoughts,
On 'your' assumptions.

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I Am Not In That Mood for Rates

How would I 'rape' myself?
Excuse me?
Oh!
I'm sorry.
How would I 'rate' myself?
You sent my high blood pressure
Straight to the roof!
Instantly I thought you sought some evidence.
Whew...
I know I'm being watched these days, '
But geeessshh.
I seek more privacy than that!
Oh!
I'm sorry.
How would I 'rate' myself?

For passion?
I am on the top of anyone's preference list!
For tenderness exchanged for slow seductive touches?
Anytime.
Not a preference.
But part of the package.
For satisfaction that completes?
Removing wet sheets to reveal a mattress soaked?
I'll do that...
Only if 'really' provoked to deliver.
What is between one and two?
Space?
A nothingness, right?
That space becomes a oneness churned.
Slower than your mama can make
The best homemade butter.
I'll leave you wanting to lick,
Every dropp I've got to give!

How would I 'rate' myself?
Why did you ask me that?
You're seeking testimonials and references?
That's going to be hard to do...
Since after a screw,
I am not in that mood for rates!

'As a poet! ? '

OH?
Why didn't you say that in the first place?
You know I'm going to give myself,
At least a 10!

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You Are Not On That Road

There is no where to rebuild
Those shadows of weaknesses,
Behind doors closed.

No cracked and opened windows,
To overhear gossiped...
Or rehashed innuendos!

We live in these moments.
Now!
There is a clearing of hidden remorse,
And guilt.
Declare nothing meant to burden your load.
Give that back to the ones...
Who lived with masks,
And tasks that were shallow.
Those waters are no longer yours to tread!
Nor does a tear needs from you to be shed.

When you realize it is time to be distanced,
From someone...anyone!
Who in the past offered you resistance.
Ask these two questions...
And insist upon a response!

'How far is the lightening bolt from the ground,
Before it strikes? '
And...
'How far does a raindropp fall from a cloud? '

If they do not know...
You tell them,
You wish to have that space and more,
Between you and their nonsense.
There are Sun rays appearing on your path!

You are not on that road,
To be reminded of bad weather!
You tell them,
To remove themselves from your light!

And let them prove to you they can do it.
On your journey,
You are not seeking the company...
Of hitchhikers!
And let that be known.

There is no where to rebuild
Those shadows of weaknesses,
Behind doors closed.
And no where...
Are you to seek,
Substitutes to please!

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We Have Not Learned That Much From The Past

We have not learned that much from past history the men of power repeat the same mistake
By threatening war on the Iraqi people for in war there's death and suffering and heartbreak
And in war there's never happiness and laughter the bomber jets they dropp death from the sky
Why to kill or capture the Iraqi leader will so many innocents have to suffer and die? .

I wonder when I hear talk of 'A Just War' since any war it never has been just
And war gives rise to vengeance and to hatred and between peoples build the barriers of mistrust,
Who ever coined that phrase was far from clever though many of those words have taken note
And too many far too many silly people that awful saying are too inclined to quote.

We have not learned much from man's past history if we have learned anything at all
The innocents of Baghdad and Basra will suffer when the big bombs from the night sky will fall
For bombs don't always hit their designated targets and for war mistakes it's the innocents who pay
With their lives or the most horrific injuries and the scars of war till death with them will stay.

We have not learned much from the mistakes of our forefathers for talk of war we hear now every day
And only on the day of the Election do the people ever seem to have a say
And the hawkish leaders who see war as okay from the path that leads to war cannot be cowed
They never seem to listen to their people though the voice of protest in their ears ring loud.

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