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Tiger Woods

I want to be what I've always wanted to be: dominant.

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What You Always Wanted

Sometimes you want something
and you work hard to get it.
Thinking it will change your life forever
into something better than it is.
Finally, you get what you want,
that dream has finally come true
and you then become something you never wanted to be.
You then begin to wonder
if you wanted it at all.
Self-doubt creeps into your mind
and starts torturing you,
but you cannot go back out now.
You have what you always wanted
like it or not.
You have to live with it
for better or for worse.


21 November 2008

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I Want To Be What You Need

Writer Dolly Parton
Copyright 1975
Mhm when you're not strong and need someone to lean on
Let me be your strenght when you're weak
When you need somebody to comfort and love you let mine be the arms that you
seek
I want to be what you need whatever it is come to me
You'll always know where I'll be cause I want to be what you need
When life gets to be more than you can endure my hand is always in reach
And I'm always waiting and I'm always willing to give you whatever you need
I want to be what you need...
Yes I want to be what you need

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I Want To Know What Compassion Is

I want to know what compassion is
Can you please tell me?
Is compassion a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another
Who is stricken by misfortune?

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Do What Is Right Always

Fables,
False doctrines,
Endless genealogies to wake up from your sleep;
But the ultimate result of life is beside you,
And you have to do what is right always in this life.

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If You Want To Know What I Feel

i just ate a
ripe banana
the only thing
for my dinner
since she left
me for another
(woman) ...not
hard to explain
eh. But if you
want to know
what i really feel
then try eating
the leftover
peel.

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What I've Always Been

god stepped from the shadows,
light my smoke and poured a drink.
we walked in the rain,
without so much as a word.
it was as if everything that hurts,
drained from my soul.
and i was left empty,
echoing the stillness in moonlight.
and i thought if not tomorrow,
or even yesterday,
then let it be this moment.
when beauty whispered in my ear,
and the owl winked from the tree.
nothingness flooded,
taking away my name...
allowing me to become,
what i've always been!

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You Want to Gain...What?

You want to gain...
What?
Fame, fortune and wealth?
To feel you are above everyone else?
To deal them with teases...
Just to please yourself?

You want to gain...
What?
Attention you insist belongs to you?
To set pretensions upon their point of view.
What does this 'really' do for you?
Would this erase your insecurities...
And those obscenities that you spew?

You want to gain...
What?
A dignity and pride...
With 'things' and objects,
You believe holds a head high.
Or eyes on you!
To be awed by a fake persona.
And left transfixed...
By your masquerading of it!

You clearly feel an emptiness.
And this you keep inside.
Nothing you choose to express to impress...
Will ever address what you deny!
And an identity unknown...
Seems to leave you depressed,
With regrets.
This is shown!

And moving forward beyond this...
With determined steps,
Will not gain you what you wish.
If you are too afraid...
To expose and admit,
Mistakes you've made!

But you insist...
None are there to fix.

You want to gain...
What?
A way to disguise your blemishes,
There and appearing.
Or a way to escape from your flaws?
No one finds endearing.

Which of these do you believe can not be seen?

You want to gain...
What?
Another life?
One you don't find,
So disgusting?
To live one that is lived perfectly right!
One you wished you had lived less distrusting.

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You Want To Do What You Want To Do

You want to do what you want to do,
With flip lip and attitude.

With a bet you boot...
To the curb who you choose to scoot!

You are quick with fault to feed,
Anyone you do not need!

With a bet you boot...
To the curb you choose to do.

You will do just as you please,
Caring less who you deceive!

With a bet you boot,
Anyone you poo poo doo!

She will be no,
Fool for you.
He will be no,
Fool for you.
We will be no,
Fool for you!

With a bet you boot,
Anyone you poo poo doo!

She will be no,
Fool for you.
He will be no,
Fool for you.
We will be no,
Fool for you!

With a bet you boot,
Anyone you poo poo doo!

You want to do what you want to do,
With flip lip and attitude.

With a bet that you boot...
To the curb who you choose to scoot!

But...
She will be no,
Fool for you.
He will be no,
Fool for you.
We will be no,
Fool for you!

With a bet you boot...
To the curb who you choose to scoot!
With a bet you boot...
To the curb who you choose to scoot!

You want to do what you want to do,
With flip lip and attitude.

With a bet you boot...
To the curb who you choose to scoot!

You are quick with fault to feed,
Anyone you do not need!

With a bet you boot...
To the curb you choose to do.

She will be no,
Fool for you.
He will be no,
Fool for you.
We will be no,
Fool for you!

With a bet you boot,
Anyone you poo poo doo!

With a bet you boot...
To the curb you choose to do.

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I Want To Know What Love Is

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when Im older
Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder
In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Im gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
Ive got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
I cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me
Lets talk about love
I wanna know what love is, the love that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and Im feeling so much love
I wanna feel what love is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah
I wanna know what love is, lets talk about love
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah
I wanna know what love is...

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Always Wanted To Wear Your Shoes

o sister o sister

my beautiful and powerful big sister;

i wish i knew you like i once did

o sister o sister

my wise and worldly big sister;

i wish i knew the remedy for what has rent itself between us

a thousand hateful things i've said to you;

wish i knew how to soften those words

I don't know what you mean by formal, not sure how to be formal

I miss you

and dare I say you were right in many ways

are there amends for my intolerance of your menopause

which is when know that things began to really fall apart

and now, as i swallow black cohosh capsules

and find myself yet again in a back against the wall situation;

i'm wishing i'd ever learned to do things like you

learned to make the best of things,

find and develop my own creative spark

& now there is no you to run to

and i've yet again made choices without a backup plan.

this seems to have become the pattern of my life

never really finishing anything

testing the waters here and there

often trying to live up to you

there were times when i wished u were my mother

and even felt u were

and now as tears begin to well

i can't help wanting to reverse the clock

though I'm I'd just react the same way

so many little moments come flooding in

I sat,8ish months pregnant, at my midwife visit

staring at words on a memo she'd held in her hand

sister called, requests that we urge mother to consider adoption,

doesn't think she can handle motherhood

or is ready for mother hood

I don't remember the exact words.

I numbly said no, I didn't want adoption info

feeling very sad

feeling somehow rejected

and so it seems I couldn't handle motherhood

one of those midwives asked me, later, on my 6 week visit

'Are you starting to adjust to motherhood? '

What?

F*** no! I don't know what that means.

but i said neither, wanly exhaustedly said, yes.

no further questions.

And 12 years later, I've still not adjusted

and that doesn't mean I am not madly in love with my son.

But I know you know that

sister.

My heart feels so lost and yet there are moments

when I feel more powerful than I ever have.

I still keep feeling like I'm struggling to live up to you

still see your face when someone speaks of heroes

though I despise the word – and perhaps i've lived the reason why

I see other faces but yours the brightest

if not of late only because of my bitter anger

my self torturing sense of betrayal

just my feelings - not necessarily truth

Im sorry that I always wanted to be you

so much maybe that I even wanted to stamp you out.


©December 2008

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Patrick White

And When You Get What You Want, Is It What You Dreamed?

And when you get what you want, is it what you dreamed?
Did the mirage live up to its reputation, did it exceed
your expectations or is there another award beyond this one?
O endlessly hungry one, pleonaxic emptiness, were you born
like a black hole on a midway of blazing radiance,
a blinding light that serves as a guide to star-nosed moles?
Fulfilment or doom, depression, disappointment, as if
some clown had washed his face off like a painted tear
in a green room mirror, and discovered he was still crying?

You grasp it like the garment of a passing ghost,
sand, water, cloud, and it changes shape in your hands
like the nature of a bird when neither of you understands.
We all wake up to spend the wealth we hoarded in our dreams.
We even greet death with money under our tongue.
In Zen they'd say we're all stealing the Buddha's purse
to buy the Buddha's horse one way or another
whether we can ride it or not, and if today you're disappointed
you'll be mesmerized by something else tomorrow,
a junk dealer going through a widow's private treasures.
You'll open your mouth again like an oyster farm
trying to breed pearls like the philosopher's stone
labouring to turn all these new moons of pitted ore into gold.

Good luck. Hope you're the wiser for it. As for me
and my house, I've never been disappointed
in my wonder at the world, and what I'm doing here
being aware of it all as the world tracks its starmud in
across my homeless threshold and all these ancient footprints
are dance steps back to a self that's just a tic of the emptiness
I catch once and awhile out of the corner of my third eye
abrogating credit for a dream it had nothing to do with
because that's a bird still flapping its wings in a shell
thinking it's being upheld by the wind until someone
cracks it open like a brittle atmosphere and all that space
comes rushing in and you realize with a cosmic sigh of relief
like a sunflower bowing its heavy head, what a great debt
you owe to the nothing that you are that can't possess anything.

You're standing there in all your spiritual bling,
gold necklaces around your throat, chakras and chains
looped like nooses in knots at the end of your spinal cord.
What did you do? Bind yourself to the axis of the earth
to be mistaken for a saint or a martyr, the wobbly snake
of an inebriated caduceus, but where's the fire, where's
the heretic, the apostate, the dragon singing in its own flames,
where even one firefly of insight that consumes the universe?
Or are you just another photo op with mermaids
calling you to the soft rocks of a popular song?
A straw dog in the rain smouldering like methane
on a compost heap after another ritual performance?
You're greedy for joy. You're greedy for illumination
in the spotlight. But bliss is one of the spices of life,
not the main course. And to want more than this
is to declare you're a glutton with lousy spiritual manners.

And O yes I know, you think this is like blooming
and having someone throw acid in your face
when you were anticipating rain on your plum blossoms.
You duck through a hole in the fence like a raccoon
caught pilfering corn in a garden, and you want
a Roman triumph with rosewater and slaves
for passing through the gateless gate to liberation
when all you've really done is barge through
the emergency exit to run from a shotgun loaded with stars
in the hands of a scarecrow trying to terrify the birds
by shooting straight up into the air until things
begin to take root of themselves, and the locust trees
are feathered with the leaves of nesting lapwings
that don't have any further to fall though they feign
a dizzying descent of wounded maple keys
and all the shamans have to heal themselves
by ploughing the ground they were born on into bookshelves.

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I Always Wanted

I always wanted
To be something
But didn't know what
Now that I am older
I realize
All I ever wanted
Is to be me
For me is
The best that I
Can be

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What It Was You Wanted

I wish you knew,
What it was you wanted.
With a clarity that stuck.
And with an ambition,
That motivates your heart.
So your head doesn't give up!

I wish you knew,
What it was you wanted.
I want to feel undaunted with support.
I want to see you gleam!
With that dream wished held.
No longer seemingly to haunt!

I wish you knew what it was you wanted.
Since all your needs then,
For you would be fulfilled!

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What Was It You Wanted?

What was it you wanted?
Tell me again so Ill know.
Whats happening in there,
Whats going on in your show.
What was it you wanted,
Could you say it again?
Ill be back in a minute
You can get it together by then.
What was it you wanted
You can tell me, Im back,
We can start it all over
Get it back on the track,
You got my attention,
Go ahead, speak.
What was it you wanted
When you were kissing my cheek?
Was there somebody looking
When you give me that kiss
Someone there in the shadows
Someone that I might have missed?
Is there something you needed,
Something I dont understand.
What was it you wanted,
Do I have it here in my hand?
Whatever you wanted
Slipped out of my mind,
Would you remind me again
If youd be so kind.
Has the record been breaking,
Did the needle just skip,
Is there somebody waitin,
Was there a slip of the lip?
What was it you wanted
I aint keepin score
Are you the same person
That was here before?
Is it something important?
Maybe not.
What was it you wanted?
Tell me again I forgot.
Whatever you wanted
What could it be
Did somebody tell you
That you could get it from me,
Is it something that comes natural
Is it easy to say,
Why do you want it,
Who are you anyway?
Is the scenery changing,
Am I getting it wrong,
Is the whole thing going backwards,
Are they playing our song?
Where were you when it started
Do you want it for free
What was it you wanted
Are you talking to me?

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As You Destroy Me

What you haven't done for me is a longer list than what you have
it hurts so bad but it's the sad truth
so as you destroy me, as you sit up in your 3 story beach house
remember that your home is filled with the anger, remorse, and regret of your mistakes
its insane to say or even explain your favoritism
though you think you don't have it
its a shame to say that because of the way you treated me i cried myself to sleep most nights thinking life isn't worth living
because you called me stupid, i will never graduate
because you never believed in me, i will never succeed
i used to think that deep down you had to love me because you created me
i used to believe you when you said you were teaching me right from wrong
but if you wanted to do that then you should have taught me to love my kids
ALL OF THEM
does it ever cross your mind that the things you say bleed through my eyeballs constantly
do you ever stop to think 'its been 3 years maybe i could say i love you too'
it wont surprise me at all that when i make it big you'll be at my doorstep expecting half
but even after everything you put me through
i still want to buy that house you always wanted
i have to be a good person in order to succeed
and the only difference between you and i is when i said 'i love you' i meant it
as you sit in that lonely room in that lonely house i wonder if you repented
you taught me to never trust, to be afraid of love and be loved
you taught me nothing stays forever
you taught me wrong instead of right
you taught me how to be miserable
and though none of these are good things
What you have taught me is now equal to what you haven't
it hurts so bad but its the sad truth
so as you destroy me, as you sit in that 3 story beach house
remember that your home is filled with the anger, remorse, and regret of your mistakes
i knew from jump either my heart or yours wasn't in the right place
it just so happened that it wasn't mine in the wrong... but yours
and though i forgive you with all my heart and soul
i can never forget
because when you broke me someone else taught me what it felt like to be complete
TRUE, you destroyed me
but i guess now i can never be defeated.

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Stanley Tucci

And I love doing my own projects; that's what I've always wanted to do.

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Angelina Jolie

If you ask people what they've always wanted to do, most people haven't done it. That breaks my heart.

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I'm happy being an actor, it's what I have always wanted to do. I'm just lucky I got to do it so early.

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Anna Freud

What I have always wanted for myself is much more primitive. It is probably nothing more than the affection of the people with whom I am in contact, and their good opinion of me.

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Soul on Fire

Soul on Fire
I know what I'm doing
this is my passion
What's worth doing

Soul of Fire
My heart just skipped a beat
I can feel the feeling
from my head
down to my feet

Soul of Fire
yearning to succeed
what I've always wanted
what I really need

Soul on Fire
look inside my burning soul
to be a poet
is my goal

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