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If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!

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Fat

Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth or Ill sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
cause Im the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right
My zippers bust, my buckles break
Im too much man for you to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
Ive got more chins than chinatown
Well, Ive never used a phone booth
And Ive never seen my toes
When Im goin to the movies
I take up seven rows
Because Im fat, Im fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, come on you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
Dontcha call me pudgy, portly or stout
Just now tell me once again whos fat
When I walk out to get my mail
It measures on the richter scale
Down at the beach Im a lucky man
Im the only one who gets a tan
If I have one more pie a la mode
Im gonna need my own zip code
When youre only having seconds
Im having twenty-thirds
When I go to get my shoes shined
I gotta take their word
Because Im fat, Im fat, sha mone
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds
Lemme tell you once again whos fat
If you see me comin your way
Better give me plenty space
If I tell you that Im hungry
Then wont you feed my face
Because Im fat, Im fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it, you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
Woo woo woo, when I sit around the house

[...] Read more

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Fat Lenny

Fat lennys gonna walk right into myself
Fat lennys gonna see myself (reflect it back on myself)
Fat lennys gonna lick the shellack off the window sill
And I say fat lennys gonna lick my head off
Stop by my friend fat lenny, I like him a lot (tell him about my buddy)
Hes fat lenny - what
Fat lennys gonna lick the shellack off the window sill
And I said now fat lennys gonna jump up and down (run back down the hill)
And I said now fat lenny knows what he is (to be fat lenny) cause he is fat lenny (hes my buddy)
Hes fat lenny (I know what he is to be fat lenny) cause hes my friend fat lenny
I like fat lenny, I like cause hes my friend fat lenny - fat lenny
What - you know - hes fat lenny - you know
You know hes fat lenny
Fat lennys gonna lick my brain today
Fat lenny doesnt like me anyway
Fat lenny said (my friend) today
Fat lenny
Fat lenny, fat lenny,
Fat lenny, fat lenny, fat fat fat lenny
Fat lenny, fat lenny
Fat lenny, fat lenny, fat fat fat lenny

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Spoonful

By willie dickson
Could be spoonful of diamonds
Could be spoonful of gold
But I want a spoon ot your precious love
To satisfy my soul
Chorus
Men lies about it
Some are wild about it
Some dies without it
Everythings right about spoonful
That spoon,that spoon,that spoonful
That spoon,that spoon,that spoonful
Could be spoonful of coffee
Could be spoonful of tea
But I want a spoon of your precious love
Thats good enough for me
Chorus
Men lies about it
Some are wild about it
Some dies without it
Everythings right about spoonful
That spoon,that spoon,that spoonful
That spoon,that spoon,that spoonful
.
Could be a spoonful of water
Searching from the desert sand
But just a spoon of that fortifies
Saved you from another man
Chorus
Men lies about it
Some are wild about it
Some dies without it
Everythings right about spoonful
That spoon,that spoon,that spoonful
That spoon,that spoon,that spoonful

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The Ladle. A Tale

The Sceptics think 'twas long ago
Since gods came down
incognito

To see who were their friends or foes,
And how our actions fell or rose;
That since they gave things their beginning,
And set this whirligig a-spinning,
Supine they in their heaven remain,
Exempt from passion and from pain,
And frankly leave us human elves
To cut and shuffle for ourselves;
To stand or walk, to rise or tumble,
As matter and as motion jumble.

The poets now, and painters, hold
This thesis both absurd and bold,
And your good-natured gods, they say,
Descend some twice or thrice a-day,
Else all these things we toil so hard in
Would not avail one single farthing;
For when the hero we rehearse
To grace his actions and our verse,
'Tis not by dint of human thought
That to his Latium he is brought;
Iris descends by Fate's commands
To guide his steps through foreign lands,
And Amphitrite clears his way
From rocks and quicksands in the sea.

And if you see him in a sketch
(Though drawn by Paulo or Carache)
He shows not half his force and strength
Strutting in armour and at length;
That he may make his proper figure
The piece must yet be four yards bigger;
The nymphs conduct him to the field,
One holds his sword, and one his shield,
Mars, standing by, asserts his quarrel,
And Fame flies after with a laurel.

These points, I say, of speculation,
(As 'twere to save or sink the nation)
Men idly learned will dispute,
Assert, object, confirm, refute;
Each mighty angry, mighty right,
With equal arms sustains the fight,
Till now no umpire can agree 'em,
So both draw off and sing
Te Deum

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Fat Baby

I know a man, maybe you know him, too.
You never can tell; he might even be you.
He knelt at the altar, and that was the end.
Hes saved, and thats all that matters to him.
His spiritual tummy, it cant take too much.
One day a week, he gets a spiritual lunch.
On sunday, he puts on his spiritual best,
And gives his language a spiritual rest.
Hes just a faaa...
Hes just a fat little baby!
Wa, wa, waaaaa....
He wants his bottle, and he dont mean maybe.
He sampled solid foods once or twice,
But he says doctrine leaves him cold as ice.
Ba, ba, ba, ba...ba, ba...ba, ba!
Hes been baptized, sanctified, redeemed by the blood,
But his daily devotions are stuck in the mud.
He knows the books of the Bible and john 3:16.
Hes got the biggest king james youve ever seen!
Ive always wondered if hell grow up someday.
Hes mommas boy, and he likes it that way.
If you happen to see him, tell him I said,
Hell never grow, if he never gets fed.
Hes just a fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fa-at, fat...
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fa-at, fat...
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, faaaaat...
...baby...

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Spoonful

By willie dixon
Could fill spoons full of diamonds,
Could fill spoons full of gold.
Just a little spoon of your precious love
Will satisfy my soul.
Men lies about it.
Some of them cries about it.
Some of them dies about it.
Everythings a-fightin about the spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
Could fill spoons full of coffee,
Could fill spoons full of tea.
Just a little spoon of your precious love;
Is that enough for me?
Chorus
Could fill spoons full of water,
Save them from the desert sands.
But a little spoon of your forty-five
Saved you from another man.
Chorus
Cats squirrel (traditional)
(instrumental)

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Spoonful

By willie dixon
Could fill spoons full of diamonds,
Could fill spoons full of gold.
Just a little spoon of your precious love
Will satisfy my soul.
Men lies about it.
Some of them cries about it.
Some of them dies about it.
Everythings a-fightin about the spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
Could fill spoons full of coffee,
Could fill spoons full of tea.
Just a little spoon of your precious love;
Is that enough for me?
Chorus
Could fill spoons full of water,
Save them from the desert sands.
But a little spoon of your forty-five
Saved you from another man.
Chorus

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100 STD's 10,000 MTD's

There are STD's, sexually transmitted diseases.
and then there are MTD's, meat transmitted diseases.

The latter take a lot more lives.

*********

In Animal Flesh: Blood Sweat Tears as well as Carcinogens Cholesterol Colon Bacteria

Animal products kill more people annually in the US than
tobacco, alcohol, traffic accidents, war, domestic violence,
guns, and drugs combined. USAMRID wrote that consumption of pig flesh caused the world's most lethal pandemic in WW1,
euphemistically called flu. Anthrax
used to be called wool sorters'
disease. Smallpox used to be called
cow pox or kine pox because of
its origin in animal flesh.
.

WHAT'S IN A BURGER? BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS (AS WELL AS BIOTERRORISM)

POISONS IN ANIMAL AND FISH FLESH... A PARTIAL LIST


a partial list in alphabetical order

acidification diseases
addiction (to trioxypurines)
adrenalin (secreted by terrorized
animals before and during slaughter)

ANTIBIOTICS (too many to list) (crowded factory farm animals standing in their own feces are often infected)

BACTERIA
creiophilic bacteria survive
the freezing of animal flesh
thermophilic bacteria survive
the baking boiling and roasting

bacteriophages (viruses FDA allows to
be injected)
blood
colon bacteria.. euphemistically
called ecoli animals defecate
all over themselves in terror
John Harvey Kellogg MD studied
the exponential rate into the billions

BSE DISEASES, PRIONS IN SPECIES FROM GELATIN (JELLO ETC)
Mad Chicken

[...] Read more

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I Am The Fat Girl

I am the Fat Girl
the one that everyone hates,
holds in contempt

makes fun of
the one who has Jenny Craig dreams of being thin;

who learns to hate her self

because of cupcakes;

who can walk pass ice cream
and gain five pounds

whose parents are thin

while telling me I just have to watch my calories

I am the one who is mean

and retaliates

by spreading rumors

that the pretty girls are lesbian

or whores

or that they take drugs.

That is me;
the last chosen in gym class for the team

The object of fat jokes;

The one who is watched in the cafeteria

to see what I am eating

who has to sit and see the small girls

eat whatever they want
who has to declare that she doesn't like chocolate

the one who can never go to the beach

to pool parties
never find clothes that fit;
wearing sheets;

[...] Read more

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Fat

Walk any street in America, what do you see?
Fat women waddling
Fat men smoking fat cigars
Fat children munching fatburgers
Fat cars with fat tires

Why?
Could it be that someone wants it that way?

“Consumption is the basis of Capitalism”

Fat women go to gyms and read diet books
Fat men do nothing because they don’t mind belly overhang
Fat Children know what tastes good, not what’s good for them
Fat cars consume gas/oil and pollute

It’s time to stop letting FAT run the economy
It’s time to get rid of corporate fat cats
It’s time to get rid of fat politicians

It’s time for everything to slim down…

ROTMS

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Yes I Am Fat

Yes I am fat
Yes I am fat
And I love my hats
Sometimes I wish my hair was wrapped in a plat
I got two Siamese cats and I always dress smart
But let me put this right from the start
Yes I am fat
But O! No, I am not a tart

This is a message for all you love rats
I may crave once in a while for brown chocolat
But I do I have appreciation for the finer art
Sometimes I let out a big fat fart
Sometimes I have a full shopping cart
Yes I am fat
But O! No, I am not a tart

I have a big bum - I got curve infinity
I have big breasts - I got breast immunity
Though my bum is round and never flat
I got the purest of dignity all you love rats

Yes I am fat
Yes I am fat
Sometimes I get scorned or made fun at
But you need to check out my stats
I am intelligent, respectful and not a brat
I go to work and pay my dutiful vat
So do you want a chit chat?
Or do you want to take out your baseball bat
You see I can engage in any immortal combat,
on any wrestling mat and come out without taking a scat
Yes I am fat
But O! No, I am not a tart

So many have looked and spat
As if I smell and don't take a bath
I was born fat
And such is that
Respect me and I give tit for tat
Please don't make jest at
I do like when I get winked at
You see, even the fat have a heart
At times I feel pain as if I have been pierced with a dart

Yes I am fat
I have to plot my own life chart
And accept myself until death does me apart
By telling me when it is time to depart
Yes I am fat

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The Hasty Pudding

A POEM IN THREE CANTOS


Canto I


Ye Alps audacious, through the heavens that rise,
To cramp the day and hide me from the skies;
Ye Gallic flags, that o'er their heights unfurled,
Bear death to kings, and freedom to the world,
I sing not to you. A softer theme I choose,
A virgin theme, unconscious of the muse,
But fruitful, rich, well suited to inspire
The purest frenzy of poetic fire.
Despise it not, ye bards to terror steeled,
Who hurl your thunders round the epic field;
Nor ye who strain your midnight throats to sing
Joys that the vineyard and the stillhouse bring;
Or on some distant fair your notes employ,
And speak of raptures that you ne'er enjoy.
I sing the sweets I know, the charms I feel,
My morning incense, and my evening meal,
The sweets of Hasty Pudding. Come, dear bowl,
Glide o'er my palate, and inspire my soul.
The milk beside thee, smoking from the kine,
It's substance mingled, married in with thine,
Shall cool and temper thy superior heat,
And save the pains of blowing while I eat.
Oh! could the smooth, the emblematic song
Flow like thy genial juices o'er my tongue,
Could those mild morsels in my numbers chime,
And, as they roll in substance, roll in rime,
No more thy awkward unpoetic name
Should shun the muse, or prejudice thy fame;
But rising grateful to the accustomed ear,
All bards should catch it, and all realms revere!
Assist me first with pious toil to trace
Through wrecks of time thy lineage and they race;
Declare what lovely squaw, in days of yore,
(Ere great Columbus sought thy native shore)
First gave thee to the world; her works of fame
Have lived indeed, but lived without a name.
Some tawny Ceres, goddess of her days,
First learned with stones to crack the well-dried maize,
Through the rough sieve to shake the golden shower,
In boiling water stir the yellow flour:
The yellow flour, bestrewed and stirred with haste,
Swell in the flood and thickens to a paste,
Then puffs and wallops, rises to the brim,
Drinks the dry knobs that on the surface swim;

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William Butler Yeats

The Hour Before Dawn

A CURSING rogue with a merry face,
A bundle of rags upon a crutch,
Stumbled upon that windy place
Called Cruachan, and it was as much
As the one sturdy leg could do
To keep him upright while he cursed.
He had counted, where long years ago
Queen Maeve's nine Maines had been nursed,
A pair of lapwings, one old sheep,
And not a house to the plain's edge,
When close to his right hand a heap
Of grey stones and a rocky ledge
Reminded him that he could make.
If he but shifted a few stones,
A shelter till the daylight broke.
But while he fumbled with the stones
They toppled over; 'Were it not
I have a lucky wooden shin
I had been hurt'; and toppling brought
Before his eyes, where stones had been,
A dark deep hollow in the rock.
He gave a gasp and thought to have fled,
Being certain it was no right rock
Because an ancient history said
Hell Mouth lay open near that place,
And yet stood still, because inside
A great lad with a beery face
Had tucked himself away beside
A ladle and a tub of beer,
And snored, no phantom by his look.
So with a laugh at his own fear
He crawled into that pleasant nook.
'Night grows uneasy near the dawn
Till even I sleep light; but who
Has tired of his own company?
What one of Maeve's nine brawling sons
Sick of his grave has wakened me?
But let him keep his grave for once
That I may find the sleep I have lost.'
What care I if you sleep or wake?
But I'Il have no man call me ghost.'
Say what you please, but from daybreak
I'll sleep another century.'
And I will talk before I sleep
And drink before I talk.'
And he
Had dipped the wooden ladle deep
Into the sleeper's tub of beer
Had not the sleeper started up.
Before you have dipped it in the beer

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Fat Man

(copyright nazareth,tiflis tunes,inc.-ascap)
Fat man at the window
Bet you know why
Fat man at the window
Nobody wants to buy
Fat man,fat man,fat man
Nobody wants to know him
Fat man
Fat man at the mirror
Dont let it break easy
Fat man at the mirror
Got no heart to please
Fat man,fat man,fat man
Nobody wants to know him
Fat man
Chorus:
Nobody wants to talk to him
Walk with him, be seen with him
Nobody wants to speak to him
Be with him, look like him
Lead
Repeat 1
Chorus

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Big Fat Love

It started out when she was small
She was premature
She wasnt nothing at all
Two pounds six ounces
A little pumpkin seed
But she got more love
Than you ever gonna need
She got big fat love
She got big fat love
She dont eat enough
To keep her alive
When she bends over
Shes a quarter to five
Skinny little thing
But she aint afraid
To dance the watusi
On a razorblade
She got big fat love
She got big fat love
Tiny little hands
Tiny little nose
Tiny little footsteps
Wherever she goes
Little bit dont leave
No bathtub ring
You pull the plug
Shes down the drain
She got big fat love
She got big fat love
She got big fat love
Bigger than me
Bigger than you
Bigger than the hippo
Down at the zoo
Thin is in
Stout is out
Big fat love
Is what Im talking about
She got big fat love
She got big fat love
She got big fat love
She got big fat love

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Phat

The word 'fat' is a term,
That 'skinny people' use,
Because they don't know what else to say,
When they see a 'fat person.'

No one has to be so rude about it,
When they see a 'fat person' eating ice cream,
Or sitting around watching others,
But some 'skinny people' don't understand to just dropp a conversation.

The word 'rude' is what 'fat people' use when someone makes fun of them,
'Fat people' are all over the world,
And yet - 'skinny people' don't want to accept the fact that 'fat people' are in this cruel world,
So some 'skinny people' have to act like they're all that and be mean to others.

There are people in this world that are 'low class' and are different from the people in the 'higher class, '
Because some people in the 'lower class' goes into depression and eat,
Because of the events happening in their life,
And so they become 'fat.'

But what 'skinny people' explain,
Is that they are slobs and can't eat normal instead of shoving food down their throat,
But what 'fat people' explain,
Is that they try to lose weight, but some of them can't because it's hard.

'Skinny people' make fun of them and 'fat people' let them,
Because some 'skinny people' don't know how it feels like to be 'fat, '
And some 'skinny people' call 'fat people' ugly and of course 'fat, '
But what 'skinny people' don't know is that we all are phat.

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Born Without A Silver Spoon

I was born without a silver spoon.
On a raining day in the month of june.
We lived in a face me and face you,
it was a crowded neighbourhood.

Born without a silver spoon.
To have a three square meal
is like wishing for the moon.
Many times we bed the night,
cold night without food.

Without a silver spoon.
My father struggled me through school.
Primary, secondary and university
education i made it through.

A silver spoon.
My wish which must come true.
For i dream of it everday.
Think about those moves i'll make.
Praying to God for steps to take.

Though i was born without
silver spoon.
Yet if heaven be true,
my family's pain will not be vain.
I was born without a silver spoon
shall be erased.
To my generations it shall be a tale.
And only a silver spoon shall remain.

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Fat Fed Leeching People

What they 'really' want?
A more greedier life to live.
What they 'really' hunger for?
Is less from them to give!

A me-me-I-I society...
Hooked on feeding greed.

What they 'really' want?
A more greedier life to live.
What they 'really' hunger for?
Is a leaner 'truth'
To soothe their whims.

Fat fed leeching people,
Poisoned to feed.
Don't understand,
Their demands are fading.

Fat fed leeching people,
Have been led to believe...
Deceptions and lies,
Reflect their real lives.

What they 'really' want?
A more greedier life to live.
What they 'really' hunger for?
Is a less 'truth' than that 'truth'...
Really IS!

Fat fed leeching people,
Want a less truth,
Than that truth...
Really IS!

Fat fed leeching people,
Want a less truth,
Than that truth...
Really IS!

Fat fed leeching people,
Want a less truth,
Than that truth...
Really IS!

AND,
Poisoned to feed...
On a less 'truth'
Than that truth...
Really IS!

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Spoon

Dave :
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I thought of you
And turned to the gate
And on my way came
Up with the answers
I scratched my head
And the answers were gone
From hand to hand
Wrist to the elbow
Red blood sand
Could dad be god
Crosses cross hung
Out like a wet rag
Forgive you why
You hung me out to dry
Maybe Im crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes the pain pass by
And maybe youre a little crazy
But laughing out loud makes it all subside
Holding, Im holding
Im still falling
Im still falling
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I thought of this
And turned to the gate
But on my way
Crack
Lightning and thunder
I hid my head
And the storm slipped away
Well maybe Im crazy
And laughing out loud
Makes it all pass by
And maybe youre a little crazy
And laughing out loud
Makes it all alright
Laughing out loud
Alanis :
From time to time
Minutes and hours
Some move ahead while
Some lag behind
Its like the balloon that
Rise and then vanish
This drop of hope
That falls from his eyes

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Spoon

Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I think of you
And turn to the gate
But on my way
Came up with the answers
Scratched my head
And the answers were gone
From hand to hand
Wrists to the elbow
Red blood sand
Could dad be god
Crosses cross
Hung out like a wet rag
Forgive you why
You hung me out to dry
Maybe Im a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all pass by
Maybe youre a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all subside
Holding, Im holding
Falling, Im still falling
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I think of this
And turn to the gate
But on my way
Crack lightening and thunder
Hid my head
And the storm slipped away
Maybe Im a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all pass by
Maybe youre a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all all right
Laughing out loud
(alanis)
From time to time
Minutes and hours
Some move ahead
While some lag behind
Like the baloon that rise
And then vanish
This drop of hope
That falls from his eye
(dave)
Spoon in spoon

[...] Read more

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