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I never lost my appetite for acting.

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But For Being Lost

As black imbued black, so was rendered the pitch of darkness
That befogged this godforsaken yard of graves -
And too the dank, ‘til now forgotten chapel that
Did little to grace these forlorn grounds.

Yet here stood I, seemingly first to tread this weed-ridden soil
Since times of yore when life had erstwhile blessed this land.
But for being lost in solitude - as does a country wanderer -
Would I not have happened across this morbid landscape.

And though detail rendered barely visible to my naked eye –
For desperately had the moon tried to break through this jet fog –
A sense of something suffused the place.
Was it those tormented spirits desperate for absolution,
Or perhaps the gargoyles teasing me on whether they be of stone or living flesh?

I was drawn to the oak door as it enticingly opened in passage for me.
The organ called from down the nave and through the pale orange of unsteady light
- that which could only be mustered from the few discoloured, moribund candles.
Could I also hear a distant choir of stern voices, as if in effort to scold me?

As I approached, those tarnished pipes came into view.
Standing erect with gothic pride, they bore down on me with patronising air -
Exaggerated by the disjointed sneering of minor chords,
As if to state that insignificant I had henceforth no grant of solace.

In answer, I steadied my rocking legs and racing mind to wonder of this scenario.
And in doing so, I found myself waking from a cramped dream –
Whence the message dawned: mine had been such a claustrophobic life.

Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009


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Maybe I'm crazy

I am not Emo
I’m not a Goth
I’m perfectly normal
But I know what it feels to be lost
Stuck in the crowd
Can’t hear a sound
Feels like I’m pushed back in the distance
Can’t come out
Do people see?
Do they believe?
Or am I just crazy from being lonely?


The words burst from my lips as I scream
But the people around me don’t seem to hear a thing
Am I invisible? Am I going crazy?
The world is acting like they don’t know about me
Am I forgotten? Am I just crazy?
Am I just lost? Am I just lonely?
Somebody hear me
Somebody save me

I check my phone, nobody calls
I can’t help, but feeling so forgot
I put on a show, nobody knows
Where did all the people I used to love, go?
I see a face, forgot its name
But they don’t seem to recognize me, anyway
All of my friends are with somebody else
And now I’m sitting here all by myself
(All by myself)

The words burst from my lips as I scream
(From my lips, as I scream)
But the people around me don’t seem to hear a thing
(But the people, don’t hear a thing)
Am I invisible? Am I going crazy?
(Am I invisible? Am I going crazy?)
The world is acting like they don’t know about me
(Acting like, don’t know about me)
Am I forgotten? Am I going crazy?
(Am I forgotten? Am I going crazy?)
Am I just lost? Am I just lonely?
(Am I just lost, maybe I’m lonely)
Somebody hear me
(Somebody near me)
Somebody save me
(Somebody save me)
Or am I just crazy?
Or am I just crazy?

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Not at a Loss Chord - after Adelaide Anne Procter – A Lost Chord

Not at a Loss Chord

Playing one day with my organ,
I was blissful – not ill at ease -
while five fingers wandered wildly
web-cams recording each wheeze.

I know the spot vibrating,
less what I was dreaming then,
but I strummed with both will and spirit
and an “Oh My God! Amen! ”

Adrenaline flowed not vainly
from heart to crimson palm,
as it coursed both veins and spirit
with little akin to calm.

It quieted pain and sorrow,
like love overcoming strife;
it seem[en]ed orgasmic echo
to tune discordant life.

It linked all perplexèd meanings
into one perfect peace,
and trembled away into silence
although I was loth to cease.

I have sought, and I seek not vainly,
that one G spot divine,
which linked my soul to the organ
so manifestly mine.

La petite morte delightful
strikes shivering molten core,
as this little verse insightful
calls for en corps encore!


It may be that Death's bright angel
will speak in that chord again,
for it’s surely in seventh Heaven
one sings “Oh My God! Amen! ”


Parody Adelaide Anne PROCTER – A Lost Chord
8 April 2007

ROBIN Jonathan 1947_2006 robi3_1338_proc1_0001 PXY_MXX Not at a Loss Chord_Playing one day with my organ
A Lost Chord

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A Lost Day

Lost is the day in which you have not found fulfillment in any area: work, private, or social.

Lost is the day in which you have not found a reason to smile: not about others, and not about yourself.

Lost is the day in which you have not been of any service: neither to others, nor to yourself.

Lost is the day in which you have not shared some love with another living creature.

Lost is the day in which you did not dedicate one positive thought to yourself.

Lost is the day in which your laziness prevented you to be constructive.

Lost is the day in which you allowed the setbacks and failures of the world to get the best of you.

Lost is the day in which you allowed your jealousy to conquer your compassion.

Lost is the day in which you undertook any act with a devious intention.

Lost is the day in which your mind prevailed your heart.

Lost is the day in which you allowed material gain to determine your decisions.

Lost is the day in which you sought out a prey among the vulnerable.

Lost is the day in which you discarded empathy.

Lost is the day in which you preferred ignorance, through discrimination of any kind, to embracement of equality.

Lost is the day in which you got lost in backbiting and any other kind of meanness directed toward another.

Lost is the day in which you failed to recognize the lesson in even the most dreadful experience.

Lost is the day in which you ignored the voice of your intuition.

Lost is the day in which you did not prioritize the ones you love over material gain.

Lost is the day in which you lowered yourself to hypocrisy.

Lost is the day in which you deliberately brought pain upon another living creature.

Lost is the day in which you allowed hope to get lost.

Lost is the day in which you forgot where you came from.

Lost is the day in which you forget where you're going.

Lost is the day in which you allowed an estrangement between your mind, your body, and your soul.

Lost is the day in which you were not creative.

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John Milton

Paradise Regained

THE FIRST BOOK

I, WHO erewhile the happy Garden sung
By one man's disobedience lost, now sing
Recovered Paradise to all mankind,
By one man's firm obedience fully tried
Through all temptation, and the Tempter foiled
In all his wiles, defeated and repulsed,
And Eden raised in the waste Wilderness.
Thou Spirit, who led'st this glorious Eremite
Into the desert, his victorious field
Against the spiritual foe, and brought'st him thence 10
By proof the undoubted Son of God, inspire,
As thou art wont, my prompted song, else mute,
And bear through highth or depth of Nature's bounds,
With prosperous wing full summed, to tell of deeds
Above heroic, though in secret done,
And unrecorded left through many an age:
Worthy to have not remained so long unsung.
Now had the great Proclaimer, with a voice
More awful than the sound of trumpet, cried
Repentance, and Heaven's kingdom nigh at hand 20
To all baptized. To his great baptism flocked
With awe the regions round, and with them came
From Nazareth the son of Joseph deemed
To the flood Jordan--came as then obscure,
Unmarked, unknown. But him the Baptist soon
Descried, divinely warned, and witness bore
As to his worthier, and would have resigned
To him his heavenly office. Nor was long
His witness unconfirmed: on him baptized
Heaven opened, and in likeness of a Dove 30
The Spirit descended, while the Father's voice
From Heaven pronounced him his beloved Son.
That heard the Adversary, who, roving still
About the world, at that assembly famed
Would not be last, and, with the voice divine
Nigh thunder-struck, the exalted man to whom
Such high attest was given a while surveyed
With wonder; then, with envy fraught and rage,
Flies to his place, nor rests, but in mid air
To council summons all his mighty Peers, 40
Within thick clouds and dark tenfold involved,
A gloomy consistory; and them amidst,
With looks aghast and sad, he thus bespake:--
"O ancient Powers of Air and this wide World
(For much more willingly I mention Air,
This our old conquest, than remember Hell,
Our hated habitation), well ye know
How many ages, as the years of men,

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I Find It Hard To Believe

I find it hard to believe
I find it hard to believe
That Im embarassed at me
For being upset
Over acting so contemptuously (I find it hard to believe)
Acting so contemptuously (I find it hard to believe)
Acting so contemptuously (that Im embarassed at me)
Acting so contemptuously (that Im embarassed at me)
(for being upset over acting so contemptuously)
Acting so contemptuously (acting so contemptuously)
Acting so contemptuously (on me)
I find it hard to believe

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Uh! All Night

Everywhere around the world
Everybodys doin time
Freedom comes at 5:15
Prison starts at quarter to nine
It takes a hard workin lover
To keep on towin the line
Ill meet you under the covers
I get excited, Im so excited
Well, we work all day
And we dont know why
Well, theres just one thing that money cant buy
When your bodys been starved feed your appetite
When you work all day, you gotta uh! all night
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, whoo
Take me to the jungle, honey
Were livin in a human zoo
Getcha turnin tricks for money
Id rather roll around with you
cause when the waitin is over
I come a-runnin to you
I got the whole night to show you
I get excited, Im so excited
Well, we work all day
And we dont know why
Well, theres just one thing that money cant buy
When your bodys been starved feed your appetite
When you work all day, you gotta uh! all night
Ooh, let me hear you, uh, right, uh, uh, uh, yeah
Well, we work all day
And we dont know why
Well, theres just one thing that money cant buy
When your bodys been starved feed your appetite
When you work all day, you gotta uh!
They got me workin, they got me runnin
But when Im comin home to you, yeah
Well, we work all day
And we dont know why
Well, theres just one thing that money cant buy
When your bodys been starved feed your appetite
When you work all day, you gotta uh! all night
Well, we work all day (they got me working)
And we dont know why (they got me runnin)
Well, theres just one thing that money cant buy (ooh yeah)
When you bodys been starved (my bodys hungry)
Feed your appetite (dont need no money)
When you work all day, you gotta uh! all night (comin home, yeah)
Well, we work all day
And we dont know why
Well, theres just one thing that money cant buy
When you bodys been starved, feed your appetite

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Maybe Your Time Is Missing

If you say you're in it and it doesn't seem to work...
Maybe your time is missing.
If you say it's on your agenda first...
Maybe you need to less rehearse.

Something aint feeding an appetite.
Somebody here tells a lie.
Something aint feeding an appetite.
I smell a lie that's denied.

If you say you're in it and it doesn't seem to work...
Maybe your time is missing.
If you say it's on your agenda first...
Maybe you need to less rehearse.

Why can't you be honest and tell the truth?
I smell a lie that's denied.
You must take me as someone who's a fool?
I smell a lie that's denied.

Something aint feeding an appetite.
Somebody here tells a lie.
Something aint feeding an appetite.
I smell a lie that's denied.

If you say you're in it and it doesn't seem to work...
Maybe your time is missing.
If you say it's on your agenda first...
Maybe you need to less rehearse.

Something aint feeding an appetite.
Somebody here tells a lie.
Something aint feeding an appetite.
I smell a lie that's denied.

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Have Desire To Have

Have money,
Plenty of money,
or little money,
Have appetite,
Have no time,
we are hungry,
and then become angry.

Have appetite,
Burning appetite,
Churning appetite,
dizzy appetite.

Have appetite,
Have plenty of time, but
Have no money.
People are hungry,
and they are hungry as always.

Angry are hungry,
anger for better things,
Better fast food,
better service,
better facilities

Hungry people are angry,
anger for basic food,
Just to fill the pit,
that churns day and night,
not knowing,
What is available to a man.

Hunger is the turning point,
when insufficiency is pointed.
Hunger is an insult,
when inefficiency is noted.

Let us have the desire,
to have a better world,
where no human,
go and sleep with hungry.

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Lost To Find My Lot

Lost in a world, that scares me to death,
Lost in a crowd I’m losing my breath,
Lost as a kid, lost as an adult
I feel everything is falling apart and its my fault
Lost as a person, cant find my way
Lost in life every day, Lost in worry
Who am I?
I’ve lived a Lie
Lost to Kindness,
Lost to Love
Lost in the sky,
Like a lonely dove
Lost in thought which I shouldn’t do
It Winds me up,
I can’t get through
Lost to comfort all kind words
Lost to advice that isn’t heard
Lost to those who really care?
All these people always there
Lost in Me, I need a break
Lost in wonder which road should I take?
Lost in a place I don’t know well
Where are you now? There’s no one to tell
Lost here all alone To break these walls
Lost in mind
Lost in soul
Lost memories, there just a hole
Lost family, lost my place
Still yet I’m full of hate
Lost in boredom think I’ll leave
There’s a lot in life I need to achieve

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Midnight At The Lost And Found

Hey Ricky, now mine is empty
How about one for you
We could set it out together
Seems tomorrow's overdue
Captain Video, done went home
One pilot laid to rest
And dragon ladies talk that talk
About who loves who - who loves best
Silver bullets in the jukebox
Spin another round
Everybody at the back of the line
It's midnight at the lost and found
Midnight at the lost and found
Lost souls in the hunting ground
A remedy for all your ills
At the lost and found
Midnight at the lost and found
Midnight...
Have a double it's gettin' late
You'll get home home, just rely on fate
Place just finally came alive
Good old boys just arrived
Stools keep changin' faces
And the night just slips away
And like a long distance love affair
Soon you've got to pay
Silver bullets in the jukebox
Spin another round
Everybody at the back of the line
It's midnight at the lost and found
Midnight at the lost and found
Lost souls in the hunting ground
A remedy for all your ills
At the lost and found
Midnight at the lost and found
Midnight...
Hangin' on barely, hitch a ride away
Belly up and bury, boy, all the hurt you feel today
Hangin' on barely, hitch a ride away
Belly up and bury, boy, all the hurt you feel today
Silver bullets in the jukebox
Spin another round
Everybody get back in line
Last call for the lost and found
Midnight at the lost and found
Lost souls in the hunting ground
A remedy for all your ills
At the lost and found
Midnight at the lost and found
Lost souls in the hunting ground

[...] Read more

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Alphabet Lost And Found

On this fateful day, in the history of whenever,
An epidemic of missing letters has swept the land.
Whatever the cause, for the sake of future generations,
In the limited time we have been permitted, these stories must be told.
There was an apple that lost his 'a'
There was a zebra that lost his 'z'
There was a chauffeur that left his 'auffer' on the dashboard
Of the car that lost its 'r'
Well, the car had lost its 'r' in a pothole
On a street that lost its 'e'
When the garbage collector with a missing 'ector' swept it up
With a broom that lost its 'oom'
Where they gonna go without their letters?
How could they survive without their letters?
Where they gonna go to find their letters?
They gonna have to get together-
At the alphabet lost and found (alphabet lost and found)
At the alphabet lost and found (alphabet lost and found)
There was a school that lost its 'cool'
when they tired to ring the bell that had no 'l'
With all the letters gone, the spelling bee was canceled
Science teachers had their hands full
English classes could not be complete
Where they gonna go without their letters?
How could they survive without their letters?
Where they gonna go to find their letters?
They gonna have to get together
Where they gonna go without their letters?
How could they survive without their letters?
Where they gonna go to find their letters?
They gonna have to get together
Crowds of people, animals, and incomplete words have been seen at a previously unknown place to be referred to as-
The alphabet lost and found (alphabet lost and found)
At the alphabet lost and found (alphabet lost and found)
At the alphabet lost and found (alphabet lost and found) (how could they survive without their letters)
At the alphabet lost and found (alphabet and lost found) (they gonna have to get together)
At the alphabet lost and found (alphabet and lost found) (they gonna have to get together)
At the alphabet lost and found (alphabet and lost found) (they gonna have to get together)

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Byron

Canto the Fifth

I
When amatory poets sing their loves
In liquid lines mellifluously bland,
And pair their rhymes as Venus yokes her doves,
They little think what mischief is in hand;
The greater their success the worse it proves,
As Ovid's verse may give to understand;
Even Petrarch's self, if judged with due severity,
Is the Platonic pimp of all posterity.

II
I therefore do denounce all amorous writing,
Except in such a way as not to attract;
Plain -- simple -- short, and by no means inviting,
But with a moral to each error tack'd,
Form'd rather for instructing than delighting,
And with all passions in their turn attack'd;
Now, if my Pegasus should not be shod ill,
This poem will become a moral model.

III
The European with the Asian shore
Sprinkled with palaces; the ocean stream
Here and there studded with a seventy-four;
Sophia's cupola with golden gleam;
The cypress groves; Olympus high and hoar;
The twelve isles, and the more than I could dream,
Far less describe, present the very view
Which charm'd the charming Mary Montagu.

IV
I have a passion for the name of "Mary,"
For once it was a magic sound to me;
And still it half calls up the realms of fairy,
Where I beheld what never was to be;
All feelings changed, but this was last to vary,
A spell from which even yet I am not quite free:
But I grow sad -- and let a tale grow cold,
Which must not be pathetically told.

V
The wind swept down the Euxine, and the wave
Broke foaming o'er the blue Symplegades;
'T is a grand sight from off the Giant's Grave
To watch the progress of those rolling seas
Between the Bosphorus, as they lash and lave
Europe and Asia, you being quite at ease;
There's not a sea the passenger e'er pukes in,
Turns up more dangerous breakers than the Euxine.

[...] Read more

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Byron

Don Juan: Canto The Fifth

When amatory poets sing their loves
In liquid lines mellifluously bland,
And pair their rhymes as Venus yokes her doves,
They little think what mischief is in hand;
The greater their success the worse it proves,
As Ovid's verse may give to understand;
Even Petrarch's self, if judged with due severity,
Is the Platonic pimp of all posterity.

I therefore do denounce all amorous writing,
Except in such a way as not to attract;
Plain- simple- short, and by no means inviting,
But with a moral to each error tack'd,
Form'd rather for instructing than delighting,
And with all passions in their turn attack'd;
Now, if my Pegasus should not be shod ill,
This poem will become a moral model.

The European with the Asian shore
Sprinkled with palaces; the ocean stream
Here and there studded with a seventy-four;
Sophia's cupola with golden gleam;
The cypress groves; Olympus high and hoar;
The twelve isles, and the more than I could dream,
Far less describe, present the very view
Which charm'd the charming Mary Montagu.

I have a passion for the name of 'Mary,'
For once it was a magic sound to me;
And still it half calls up the realms of fairy,
Where I beheld what never was to be;
All feelings changed, but this was last to vary,
A spell from which even yet I am not quite free:
But I grow sad- and let a tale grow cold,
Which must not be pathetically told.

The wind swept down the Euxine, and the wave
Broke foaming o'er the blue Symplegades;
'T is a grand sight from off 'the Giant's Grave
To watch the progress of those rolling seas
Between the Bosphorus, as they lash and lave
Europe and Asia, you being quite at ease;
There 's not a sea the passenger e'er pukes in,
Turns up more dangerous breakers than the Euxine.

'T was a raw day of Autumn's bleak beginning,
When nights are equal, but not so the days;
The Parcae then cut short the further spinning
Of seamen's fates, and the loud tempests raise
The waters, and repentance for past sinning

[...] Read more

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Out Of The Depths

Lost! Lost! Lost!
The cry went up from a sea --
The waves were wild with an awful wrath,
Not a light shone down on the lone ship's path;
The clouds hung low:
Lost! Lost! Lost!
Rose wild from the hearts of the tempest-tossed.

Lost! Lost! Lost!
The cry floated over the waves --
Far over the pitiless waves;
It smote on the dark and it rended the clouds;
The billows below them were weaving white shrouds
Out of the foam of the surge,
And the wind-voices chanted a dirge:
Lost! Lost! Lost!
Wailed wilder the lips of the tempest-tossed.

Lost! Lost! Lost!
Not the sign of a hope was nigh,
In the sea, in the air, or the sky;
And the lifted faces were wan and white,
There was nothing without them but storm and night
And nothing within but fear.
But far to a Father's ear:
Lost! Lost! Lost!
Floated the wail of the tempest-tossed.

Lost! Lost! Lost!
Out of the depths of the sea --
Out of the night and the sea;
And the waves and the winds of the storm were hushed,
And the sky with the gleams of the stars was flushed.
Saved! Saved! Saved!
And a calm and a joyous cry
Floated up through the starry sky,
In the dark -- in the storm -- 'Our Father' is nigh.

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Bad Love (Foxes)

(From the movie "Foxes")
Looking for some bad love in the night,
Feeling such a hot street I could find,
Need to have some bad, bad love to make it right.
I used to be a good girl, but no more,
I'm ready, now it's I learn to score,
Guess I know that bad love is my appetite.
Wanna find some hot shot on the street,
We'll make the fire and there'll be the heat,
Knew I wanna burn my candle at the dance.
I wanna meet a bad boy in the night,
We're gonna make some bad love, wrong or right,
Ooh, I know that bad love is all appetite.
Ooooh, baby baby, I'm ready,
Oooooooh, baby give it to me,
Am I gonna know the view and that it'll show me the right way,
You got me bangin' on the floor,
Now what more do you want from me.
Bad boy in the night,
We're gonna learn some new tricks, wrong or right,
We need to have some bad, bad love to make it right.
We're gonna make some hot love on the street,
We'll make the fire, then we'll feel the heat,
Ooh, I'm gonna bad, bad la la lala,
Bad, bad la la lala
Bad love gets us through the night.
Ooooh, baby baby, I'm ready,
Oooooooh, baby give it to me,
Am I gonna know the view and that it'll show me the right way,
You got me bangin' on the floor,
Now what more do you want from me.
Bad love in the night,
We're gonna make some new tricks, wrong or right,
All I know that bad love is out appetite.
We're gonna make some hot love on the street,
We'll make the fire, then we'll feel the heat,
Ooh, I'm gonna bad, bad la la lala,
Bad, bad la la lala
Bad love is my appetite.
Looking for some bad love in the night,
Feeling such a hot street I could find,
Need to have some bad, bad love to make it right.
I used to be a good girl, but no more,
I'm ready, now it's I learn to score,
Guess I know that bad love is my appetite.
I'm gonna find some hot love on the street,
I'll make the fire, then feel the heat,
Ooh, I'm gonna burn my candle at the dance.
I'm wanna meet a bad boy in the night,
We're gonna make some bad love, wrong or right

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John Milton

Paradise Lost: Book 09

No more of talk where God or Angel guest
With Man, as with his friend, familiar us'd,
To sit indulgent, and with him partake
Rural repast; permitting him the while
Venial discourse unblam'd. I now must change
Those notes to tragick; foul distrust, and breach
Disloyal on the part of Man, revolt,
And disobedience: on the part of Heaven
Now alienated, distance and distaste,
Anger and just rebuke, and judgement given,
That brought into this world a world of woe,
Sin and her shadow Death, and Misery
Death's harbinger: Sad talk!yet argument
Not less but more heroick than the wrath
Of stern Achilles on his foe pursued
Thrice fugitive about Troy wall; or rage
Of Turnus for Lavinia disespous'd;
Or Neptune's ire, or Juno's, that so long
Perplexed the Greek, and Cytherea's son:

If answerable style I can obtain
Of my celestial patroness, who deigns
Her nightly visitation unimplor'd,
And dictates to me slumbering; or inspires
Easy my unpremeditated verse:
Since first this subject for heroick song
Pleas'd me long choosing, and beginning late;
Not sedulous by nature to indite
Wars, hitherto the only argument
Heroick deem'd chief mastery to dissect
With long and tedious havock fabled knights
In battles feign'd; the better fortitude
Of patience and heroick martyrdom
Unsung; or to describe races and games,
Or tilting furniture, imblazon'd shields,
Impresses quaint, caparisons and steeds,
Bases and tinsel trappings, gorgeous knights
At joust and tournament; then marshall'd feast
Serv'd up in hall with sewers and seneshals;
The skill of artifice or office mean,
Not that which justly gives heroick name
To person, or to poem. Me, of these
Nor skill'd nor studious, higher argument
Remains; sufficient of itself to raise
That name, unless an age too late, or cold
Climate, or years, damp my intended wing
Depress'd; and much they may, if all be mine,
Not hers, who brings it nightly to my ear.
The sun was sunk, and after him the star
Of Hesperus, whose office is to bring

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A Letter From Li Po

Fanfare of northwest wind, a bluejay wind
announces autumn, and the equinox
rolls back blue bays to a far afternoon.
Somewhere beyond the Gorge Li Po is gone,
looking for friendship or an old love's sleeve
or writing letters to his children, lost,
and to his children's children, and to us.
What was his light? of lamp or moon or sun?
Say that it changed, for better or for worse,
sifted by leaves, sifted by snow; on mulberry silk
a slant of witch-light; on the pure text
a slant of genius; emptying mind and heart
for winecups and more winecups and more words.
What was his time? Say that it was a change,
but constant as a changing thing may be,
from chicory's moon-dark blue down the taut scale
to chicory's tenderest pink, in a pink field
such as imagination dreams of thought.
But of the heart beneath the winecup moon
the tears that fell beneath the winecup moon
for children lost, lost lovers, and lost friends,
what can we say but that it never ends?
Even for us it never ends, only begins.
Yet to spell down the poem on her page,
margining her phrases, parsing forth
the sevenfold prism of meaning, up the scale
from chicory pink to blue, is to assume
Li Po himself: as he before assumed
the poets and the sages who were his.
Like him, we too have eaten of the word:
with him are somewhere lost beyond the Gorge:
and write, in rain, a letter to lost children,
a letter long as time and brief as love.

II

And yet not love, not only love. Not caritas
or only that. Nor the pink chicory love,
deep as it may be, even to moon-dark blue,
in which the dragon of his meaning flew
for friends or children lost, or even
for the beloved horse, for Li Po's horse:
not these, in the self's circle so embraced:
too near, too dear, for pure assessment: no,
a letter crammed and creviced, crannied full,
storied and stored as the ripe honeycomb
with other faith than this. As of sole pride
and holy loneliness, the intrinsic face
worn by the always changing shape between
end and beginning, birth and death.

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The Idols

An Ode
Luce intellettual, piena d' amore


Prelude
Lo, the spirit of a pulsing star within a stone
Born of earth, sprung from night!
Prisoned with the profound fires of the light
That lives like all the tongues of eloquence
Locked in a speech unknown!
The crystal, cold and hard as innocence,
Immures the flame; and yet as if it knew
Raptures or pangs it could not but betray,
As if the light could feel changes of blood and breath
And all--but--human quiverings of the sense,
Throbs of a sudden rose, a frosty blue,
Shoot thrilling in its ray,
Like the far longings of the intellect
Restless in clouding clay.

Who has confined the Light? Who has held it a slave,
Sold and bought, bought and sold?
Who has made of it a mystery to be doled,
Or trophy, to awe with legendary fire,
Where regal banners wave?
And still into the dark it sends Desire.
In the heart's darkness it sows cruelties.
The bright jewel becomes a beacon to the vile,
A lodestar to corruption, envy's own:
Soiled with blood, fought for, clutched at; this world's prize,
Captive Authority. Oh, the star is stone
To all that outward sight,
Yet still, like truth that none has ever used,
Lives lost in its own light.

Troubled I fly. O let me wander again at will
(Far from cries, far from these
Hard blindnesses and frozen certainties!)
Where life proceeds in vastness unaware
And stirs profound and still:
Where leafing thoughts at shy touch of the air
Tremble, and gleams come seeking to be mine,
Or dart, like suddenly remembered youth,
Like the ache of love, a light, lost, found, and lost again.
Surely in the dusk some messenger was there!
But, haunted in the heart, I thirst, I pine.--
Oh, how can truth be truth
Except I taste it close and sweet and sharp
As an apple to the tooth?

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Losing my virginity

The rhapsodically untainted leaves; lost their virginity to the tantalizingly draughts of the unstoppably ecstatic and beautifully silken breeze,

The indomitably ferocious Sun; lost its virginity to the evanescent beams of the spell bindingly eclectic and enchantingly blessed dawn,

The triumphantly fertile earth; lost its virginity to the plodding of the vibrantly obstreperous and intrusively adulterated footsteps,

The unassailably glorious mountain peak; lost its virginity to the sensuous wisps of the bountifully bestowing and celestially surreal clouds,

The stupendously undulating sea; lost its virginity to the shimmering sands of the poignantly titillating and handsomely maverick shores,

The magnanimously stupefying night; lost its virginity to the jubilant streaks of the sensuously untamed and inimitably unconquerable white lightening,

The melodiously gurgling throat; lost its virginity to the poignant streams of the irrefutably transparent and seductively slippery spit,

The astoundingly intricate veins; lost their virginity to the life-yielding rivulets of the ubiquitously crimson and blessedly sacrosanct blood,

The royally sculptured palms; lost their virginity to the inexplicable lines of enigmatically eclectic and inevitably mystical destiny lines,

The profoundly fantastic hill-slopes; lost their virginity to the exultating cascade of the blissfully ameliorating and victoriously frosty waterfall,

The altruistically barren paper; lost its virginity to the coherent embellishment of the enthusiastically fulminating and literately majestic sapphire ink,

The unbelievably rubicund lips; lost their virginity to the raging inferno of unstoppably fiery and fervently royal kisses,

The amazingly silver web; lost its virginity to the surreptitiously tingling impression of the unprecedentedly fast and multifariously talented spider,

The exuberantly blossoming rose; lost its virginity to the boisterous body of the rambunctiously raconteur and incessantly chattering bumble bee,

The exhilaratingly curved road; lost its virginity to the wanton cavalcade of the indefatigably buzzing and indiscriminately marauding vehicles,

The ebulliently robust cheeks; lost their virginity to the unabashed swirl of the incongruously unruly and uninhibitedly machismo beard,

The fabulously emollient grassblades; lost their virginity to the beauteous sprinkling of the eternally burgeoning and timelessly golden dewdrops,

The indispensably ardent nostrils; lost their virginity to the unrelenting festoon of the perennially blossoming and undyingly infallible breath,

The timelessly persevering armpits; lost their virginity to the righteous fountain of unflinchingly fragrant and philanthropically egalitarian sweat,


And I; lost my virginity not just for this birth; but for an infinite more births of mine yet to unfurl; to you and no other girl but you in this entire fathomlessly benign Universe; O! pricelessly immortal beloved…

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