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Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing.

quote by Johnny Depp
Added by Lucian Velea
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Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99)

Everyone hates the dentist
some much more than me.
Just the thought of the drill
and the light in your eyes
puts the chills up me.

One of my worst encounters
of the dentist chair came in the 1960’s
when a cold in a tooth made my face swell
on one side like a melon
and I could only drink through a straw.
They knocked me out to remove the tooth.
Having no recovery room
they put me back in the waiting room
and sat me in a chair out there.
It was the dawn of the plastic moulded ones
and the one I sat on was so slippery
I kept slipping down.
I mumbled aloud about the dentist being no good.
Some of his patients took one look at me
and decided I was right, then made a hasty exit
from the waiting room.
With the side of my face swollen to the size of a melon
I can understand why.

Another encounter with a dentist
was quite a few years later.
A different dentist with a wholly different approach.
He was having his waiting room decorated
and I was the only one there.
He came in with a Cheshire grin across his face.
“Mr Harris, do you mind if this gentleman
takes out your teeth today? ”
Being I and thinking it was a student,
I said I didn’t mind.
The dentist then said, “He is my interior decorator.”
The smile still implanted on his face.
I nearly ran out of there.

Now the third tale concerns my wife
and she fears the dentist even more than me.
She had an appointment
and when we arrived,
the surgery was closed for lunch.
We went for a little walk
and all the cars we passed had dents in the side.
“See that.” I said.
“Yes.” She replied.
“That’s what the dentist does
when he can’t get his own way.”

[...] Read more

poem by David Harris
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Crocodile's Toothache

Oh the Crocodile
Went to the dentist
And sat down in the chair,
And the dentist said, 'Now tell me, sir,
Why does it hurt and where?'
And the Crocodile said, 'I'll tell you the truth.
I have a terrible ache in my tooth.'
And he opened his jaws so wide, so wide,
That the dentist he climbed right inside,
And the dentist laughed, 'Oh, isn't this fun?'
As he pulled the teeth out, one by one.
And the Crocodile cried, 'You're hurting me so!
Please put down your pliers and let me go.'
But the dentist just laughed with a Ho Ho Ho,
And he said, 'I still have twelve to go --
Oops, that's the wrong one, I confess.
But what's one crocodile's tooth, more or less?'
Then suddenly the jaws went snap,
And the dentist was gone right off the map.
And where he went one could only guess...
To North or South or East or West...
He left no forwarding address.
But what's one dentist more or less?

poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Two Folk Songs

I. THE SOLDIER

(Roumanian)

When winter trees bestrew the path,
Still to the twig a leaf or twain
Will cling and weep, not Winter's wrath,
But that foreknown forlorner pain-
To fall when green leaves come again.

I watch'd him sleep by the furrow-
The first that fell in the fight.
His grave they would dig to-morrow:
The battle called them to-night.

They bore him aside to the trees, there,
By his undigg'd grave content
To lie on his back at ease there,
And hark how the battle went.

The battle went by the village,
And back through the night were borne
Far cries of murder and pillage,
With smoke from the standing corn.

But when they came on the morrow,
They talk'd not over their task,
As he listen'd there by the furrow;
For the dead mouth could not ask-

How went the battle, my brothers?

But that he will never know:
For his mouth the red earth smothers
As they shoulder their spades and go.

Yet he cannot sleep thereunder,
But ever must toss and turn.

How went the battle, I wonder?

-And that he will never learn!

When winter trees bestrew the path,
Still to the twig a leaf or twain
Will cling and weep, not Winter's wrath,
But that foreknown, forlorner pain-
To fall when green leaves come again!

[...] Read more

poem by Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch
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The Dentist Appointment

On Thursday morning, I have to see the Dentist;
Cancelling the appointment, I am trying to resist.
I just don't know if I will be able to do it;
I don't know if I can put myself through it.

To help myself relax, and help allay my fears.
I am planning to plug my iPod into my ears
If, with my favourite music, my ears are filled,
It will drown out the sound of the dreaded drill.

Whenever I think about it, I feel extremely tense.
The relief I'll feel, when it's over, will be immense.
In the pit of my stomach, I get bouts of butterflies;
A few times, in secret, I've even had a little cry.

On my last trip to the Dentist, my eyes sprung a leak,
And my fingers gripped tightly to the edge of my seat.
The needle which they use, feels me with such fright,
So I'll lie there tomorrow, and shut my eyes really tight.

On Thursday morning, I'm the first one in the chair;
I'm hoping that this will make it a tad easier to bear.
But what if, the situation, I really just cannot face?
What if, away from the surgery, I then quickly race?

My Dentist does his real best to put me at ease;
He is really friendly, and looks slightly Chinese.
But, if I keep myself calm, and be really brave,
My teeth, my Dentist, will then be able to save.

poem by Angela Wybrow
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Hey

And I said Hey
When I'm making my movie, baby
You keep saying all my...
You keep breaking all my...
Said hey
You like boots and perfume
Said hey
Your red pumps and your cadillac blues
Said hey
You want that fine
white wine
on my dime
What you want from me?
'Cause you're on my mind
Don't you get no more
'Cause you're losing yourself
Don't you want some truth?
'Cause I'll give you mine
Hey, when I'm making my movie, baby
You keep saying all my lines
And I said hey, after sunset drive cruising, baby
You're just yesterdays prize
Said hey, do do do do do
You want trips on a white yacht for two
Said hey,
Beverly heights
Bright lights
Late nights
What you want from me?
'Cause you're on my mind
Don't you get no more
'Cause you're losing yourself
Don't you want some truth?
'Cause I'll give you mine
Hey, when I'm making my movie, baby
You keep saying all my lines
And I said hey, after sunset drive cruising, baby
You're just yesterdays prize
You're just yesterdays prize
Hey, Hey
Your red pumps and your cadillac blues
You want trips on a white yacht for two
Your red pumps and your cadillac blues
You like boots and expensive perfume
Your red pumps and your cadillac blues
You want trips on a white yacht for two
Your red pumps and your cadillac blues
You like boots and expensive perfume
Your red pumps and your cadillac blues
You want trips on a white yacht for two

[...] Read more

song performed by Hanson
Added by Lucian Velea
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Not That Kind Of Girl

Im not that kind of girl who thinks I can change the world
With just a simple twirl of my hair
Ill never break your heart, tear your soul apart
With just a simple spark from my stare
Wont go playing with your insides
Take your wallet for its big size
Wont be suckered in by those foolish games
1:

Oh, oh, Im not that kind of girl
Oh, oh, Im not that kind of girl
Oh, oh, Im not that kind of girl
Oh, oh, Im not that kind of girl
Im not that of girl who think you can rule my world
With just a simple wave of your hand
So dont you push me down, or start to play around
Cause when you see me frown, just beware
Dont go playing with my insides
Tell me stories, tell me big lies
Wont be taken in by those silly games
Repeat 1

Come on, come on
Yo, tell me vc, what kind of girl are you?
Let me know
Im not the kind of girl to make you lose your mind
I wanna be the kind of girl youll never leave behind
Youre gonna take it, never fake it, you know youll see
That Im just the kind of girl I always wanted to be
Im not that kind of girl, Im not that kind of girl
Im not that kind of girl
I like your kind of girl, I like that kind of girl
I like your kind of girl
Im not that kind of girl
I like your kind of girl, I like all kinds of girls
I like your kind of girl
Im not that kind of girl

song performed by Vitamin C
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Hind And The Panther, A Poem In Three Parts : Part III.

Much malice, mingled with a little wit,
Perhaps may censure this mysterious writ;
Because the muse has peopled Caledon
With panthers, bears, and wolves, and beasts unknown,
As if we were not stocked with monsters of our own.
Let Æsop answer, who has set to view
Such kinds as Greece and Phrygia never knew;
And Mother Hubbard, in her homely dress,
Has sharply blamed a British lioness;
That queen, whose feast the factious rabble keep,
Exposed obscenely naked, and asleep.
Led by those great examples, may not I
The wonted organs of their words supply?
If men transact like brutes, 'tis equal then
For brutes to claim the privilege of men.
Others our Hind of folly will indite,
To entertain a dangerous guest by night.
Let those remember, that she cannot die,
Till rolling time is lost in round eternity;
Nor need she fear the Panther, though untamed,
Because the Lion's peace was now proclaimed;
The wary savage would not give offence,
To forfeit the protection of her prince;
But watched the time her vengeance to complete,
When all her furry sons in frequent senate met;
Meanwhile she quenched her fury at the flood,
And with a lenten salad cooled her blood.
Their commons, though but coarse, were nothing scant,
Nor did their minds an equal banquet want.
For now the Hind, whose noble nature strove
To express her plain simplicity of love,
Did all the honours of her house so well,
No sharp debates disturbed the friendly meal.
She turned the talk, avoiding that extreme,
To common dangers past, a sadly-pleasing theme;
Remembering every storm which tossed the state,
When both were objects of the public hate,
And dropt a tear betwixt for her own children's fate.
Nor failed she then a full review to make
Of what the Panther suffered for her sake;
Her lost esteem, her truth, her loyal care,
Her faith unshaken to an exiled heir,
Her strength to endure, her courage to defy,
Her choice of honourable infamy.
On these, prolixly thankful, she enlarged;
Then with acknowledgments herself she charged;
For friendship, of itself an holy tie,
Is made more sacred by adversity.
Now should they part, malicious tongues would say,
They met like chance companions on the way,

[...] Read more

poem by John Dryden
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Thats The Kind Of Sugar Papa Likes

I didnt want you, did not need you
Sure wouldnt mean to kick you down
You know I love you, I really love you
Sure do wish youd come around
But youre the kind of sugar papa likes
And when you do it, it drives me crazy (drives me crazy)
And I dont know if Im up or down
Lost or found with you
You shoulda told me, Im not the only
Man to love you twice
But since I know now, I think Ill go now
And find someone wholl love me right
But youre the kind of sugar papa likes
And when we do it, it drives me crazy (drives me crazy)
And I dont know if Im up or down
Lost or found with you
But youre the kind of sugar papa likes
And when you do it, it drives me crazy (drives me crazy)
Well, I dont know if Im up or down
Lost or found with you
But youre the kind of sugar papa likes
And when you do it, it drives me crazy (drives me crazy)
Well, I dont know if Im up or down
Lost or found with you
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, with you
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, it drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, yes you, baby
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, and youre pretty, baby
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy
Youre the kind of sugar papa likes, drives me crazy

song performed by Kiss
Added by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Junk

Dr. junk the dentist man
Fills your teeth with what he can
Airplane wings and corset stays
And when hes done hell let you pay
In paper clips or inner tubes
Or anything thats slightly used
Hes not really crazy
Only nuts ... and bolts
And rusty rings make him do
The strangest things
Dr. junk the dentist has
An office full of colored glass
A garden with a paddle wheel
And funny plants for eye appeal
And though he watches them with care
Ive never seen them growing there
Hes not really crazy
Only nuts ... and bolts
And rusty rings make him do
Eccentric things
Dr. junk the dentist built
A junky castle up on stilts
Junk within and junk throughout
And tv in the chimney spout
And fourteen levels to each floor
And now hes adding fourteen more
Hes not really crazy
Only nuts ... and bolts
And rusty rings make him do
The strangest things

song performed by Joni Mitchell
Added by Lucian Velea
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Just My Luck (Fun Poem 73)

I went to the dentist
for the first time in twenty years.
Sat in the waiting room
waiting to get my call.
Finally, it came
and I reluctantly went in,
hand shaking and nervous as can be
and was surprised to find
the dentist looked
like she had just walked out of the centrefold
of a Playboy magazine.
She was blonde
and dropp dead gorgeous.
Instead of a man looking like,
he had just walked out of a rugby scrum.
Trust little old me to gets this beauty.
I sat in the chair
took out my false teeth
knowing she wouldn’t want to see them
and opened my mouth wider
so she could have a peek inside.
“I’m going to have to take an X-ray at those.”
“No problem.” I replied.
After the X-rays were taken,
she asked me what pills I was on.
“The one you put in your shoe to make you go limp.”
I replied jokingly.
Sadly she didn’t get the joke I’m afraid.
However, because of the pills, I was on
and the way the tooth
was embedded in my gum.
I have to go to the hospital
to have the darn thing out.
Just my luck.
Here I get the prettiest dentist
to fool around with my teeth
and she then refers me to the hospital.
Doesn’t that just take the cake.
Just my luck.
There is a small consolation when I go.
They will knock me out
and I won’t see who is pulling out my teeth.

25 April 2008

poem by David Harris
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The dentist thing

I. The evening that I bite right through a molar

The evening that I bite right through a molar
with the nerve lying open,
in a thousand years I do not want over again
and then suddenly I am without an appetite

it feels as if I am loosing my senses,
to put it mildly
while I neatly put down my eating utensils
and the next morning I go without breakfast

but that night that thing
pains and beats
and no clove oil, Syndols or R10’s help
to stop that pain
and it feels as if I can jump up and down
and I am overwhelmed with pain.

II. I cannot close a eye

I cannot close an eye
even if I do anything to lie down
or do whatever to be sleeping
and far too slowly the minutes and hours tick past.

Then I sit in front of the computer and stare
and write a poem
where the devil tells me not to spare God
and I have no humility

but I write a song of praise
a poem that I call early spring
letting my pain, my song, my life there cling to Him
where I glorify the awesomeness of His creation and salvation

and send that dark might on its way,
waiting right through the night on the morning light.

III. At daylight I find no opening at a dentist

At daylight I find no opening at a dentist,
everyone is booked full,
and I drive to and thro
and my molar is broken right through.

Even the dentistry department
of the community clinic is closed

[...] Read more

poem by Gert Strydom
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The Pillage Hangman - Parody LONGFELLOW - The Village Blacksmith

Under a spreading chestnut tree
The village smithy stands;
The Smith, a mighty man is he,
With large and sinewy hands;
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands.

His hair is crisp, and black, and long,
His face is like the tan;
His brow is wet with honest sweat,
He earns whate'er he can
And looks the whole world in the face
For he owes not any man.

Week in, week out, from morn till night,
You can hear his bellows blow;
You can hear him swing his heavy sledge,
With measured beat and slow,
Like a sexton ringing the village bell,
When the evening sun is low.

And children coming home from school
Look in at the open door;
They love to see the flaming furge,
And hear the bellows roar,
And catch the burning sparks that fly
Like chaff from a threshing floor.

He goes on Sunday to the church
and sits among his boys;
He hears the parson pray and preach.
He hears his daughter's voice
singing in the village choir,
And it makes his heart rejoice.

It sounds to him like her mother's voice,
Singing in Paradise!
He needs must think of her once more,
How in the grave she lies;
And with his hard, rough hand he wipes
A tear out of his eyes.

Toiling, -rejoicing, -sorrowing,
Onward through life he goes;
Each morning sees some task begin,
Each evening sees it close;
Something attempted, something done,
Has earned a night's repose.

Thanks, thanks to thee, my worthy friend

[...] Read more

poem by Jonathan Robin
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If You Bite I'm Quick to Fight

You think it easy to whip up in me grief?
Because I come across as cool as can be.
Well let me tell you something you wont believe...
If you want to bite,
I'm quick to fight!

You think the life I've lived has been without knocks.
And nothing that I've faced has made my heart stop.
Well let me tell you this to set your clock right.
If you want to bite,
I'm quick to fight!

I'm not the kind to search and hunt enemies.
I'm not the kind to crawl around on my knees.
I'm not the kind to wear my heart on my sleeves.
I do the best I can to meet my own needs.

I'm not the kind to wish upon someone evil.
I'm not the kind to wish anyone ill.
I'm not the kind to stir up rage and upheaval.
Nor am I the kind that seeks such petty thrills.

You think it easy to whip up in me grief?
Because I come across as cool as can be.
Well let me tell you something you wont believe...
If you want to bite,
I'm quick to fight!

I'm not the kind to search and hunt enemies.
I'm not the kind to crawl around on my knees.
I'm not the kind to wear my heart on my sleeves.
But if you bite...
I'm quick to fight!

I'm not the kind to wish upon someone evil.
I'm not the kind to wish anyone ill.
I'm not the kind to stir up rage and upheaval.
But if you bite...
I'm quick to fight!

You think the life I've lived has been without knocks.
And nothing that I've faced has made my heart stop.
Well let me tell you this to set your clock right.
If you want to bite,
I'm quick to fight!

I'm not the kind to wish upon someone evil.
But if you bite...
I'm quick to fight!

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Our Roads On Earth

Each trip commences with a step
We all have trips to make
We traverse different roads in life
As one goes up
Another goes down
Some go through long roads
Others have shorter paths to tread
Our daily trips are divine
As we journeyed towards life trips
Some roads are bumpy
Some are smooth
Some have stamina for marathon
Some move faster in a dash
Either long or short
Trials, challenges, obstacles
Are features to wrestle with on our roads
We need to be resilent
We need to damn odds
Whatever lane of the roads we are
Steadfastness is needed
Our trips on these roads
Shall end successfully
If we hold on to God..

poem by Babatunde Aremu
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Love Of Another Kind

They say love is cruel
They say love is rather fragile
But Ive found in you
A love of another kind.
They say love brings hurt
I say love brings healing
Understanding first
Its a love of another kind.
(bridge)
The love I know
Is a love so few discover
They need to know
Jesus love is like no other.
They save love wont last
I say love is neverending
Cause in you I have
A love of another kind.
They would change their tune
They would add another measure
If they only knew
This love of another kind.
(repeat bridge)
(repeat verses)
Love of another kind
The love of another kind
The love of another kind
The love of another, the love of another kind.
Give me love
This is love (this is love)
Another kind, another kind of love.
This is love (this is love)
You need another kind of love
Another kind, another kind of love.
Another kind of love
This is love
Give me love
Another kind, another kind of love.

song performed by Amy Grant
Added by Lucian Velea
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Some Kind Of Friend

Music by Barry Manilow
Lyrics by Adrienne Anderson
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw you at the Beechwood Cafe
You looked at me and then you looked away
That was some kind
Some kind of friend you turned out to be
You said you had places that you had to be
Now who is gonna be there for me
That was some kind
Some kind of friend you turned out to be
Lady that was some kind
Some kind of friend you turned out to be
Baby that was some kind
Some kind of friend you turned out to be
They say that women like you can't get enough
Got your Maserati built for two
They say that women like you like to play
with love
Is that true?
When I ran into you the other day
You smiled at me but you had nothing to say
That was some kind
Some kind of friend you turned out to be
Tell me why'd you do what you did to me
Covered up your life so I couldn't see
Now that was some kind
Some kind of friend you turned out to be
Lady that was some kind
Some kind of friend you turned to be
Baby that was some kind
Some kind of friend you turned out to be
I never should have let you get to me
Nevershould have let you bring me down
Didn't know that I was just some fantasy
That you found.

song performed by Barry Manilow
Added by Lucian Velea
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Good Love

Everytime I get to see you
I get this feelin
Its so fuzzy inside
And as soon as I walk away from you
Im still tasting your kiss
Saving it in my mind
Its not everyday I find
A guy that makes me smile all the time
Not the way that you do
All the guys I thought I used to love
Compared to you they dont match up
They got nothing on you
I think I found a good good good love
The kind that will put it on you
The kind that you wanna hold on to
I think I found a good good good love
We can be lovers and friends too
And theyll do anything for you
A good love
Baby you got somethin special
That has me thinking of settling down
Youre the one my mama told me
Would sooner or later one day finally come around
I think I found a good good good love
The kind that will put it on you
The kind that you wanna hold on to
I think I found a good good good love
We can be lovers and friends too
And theyll do anything for you
A good love
I think I found a good good good love
The kind that will put it on you
The kind that you wanna hold on to
I think I found a good good good love
We can be lovers and friends too
And theyll do anything for you
A good love
You bring me joy
And you bring me much pleasure
I could never see myself leaving you ever
Your soft touch is good and it cant get no better
You have got my mind so caught up
Im drunk off of your good love
I think I found a good good good love
The kind that will put it on you
The kind that you wanna hold on to
I think I found a good good good love
We can be lovers and friends too
And theyll do anything for you
A good love

[...] Read more

song performed by TLC
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Am I The Kind Of Girl Who Could Be Your Boyfriend?

Am i the kind of girl who could be your boyfriend
Am i the kind of jill who could play with jacks
Am i the kind of girl who could be your boyfriend
The kind of screw that your toolbox lacks
Put on the shoes, come let's go bend the rules
We'll kiss and make up, showing them all
They're straight-laced fools
I'm the kind of girl who could be your boyfriend
Am i the kind of woman who could be your man
Let's twist it up
Let's fix it up
Let's bend it up
C'mon now
Let's send it on up
Am i the kind of girl who could be your boyfriend
Am i the kind of belle who could be your beau
Am i the kind of girl who could be your boyfriend
The kind of buck who could spend your dough
Tear up the ticket, who needs that show tonight
Tear up the ticket, i'll be the groom
And honey you'll be the bride in white
I'm the kind of girl who could be your boyfriend
Am i the kind of girl who could be your man
Let's twist it up
Let's send it up
Let's bend it up
C'mon now
Let's fix it up
La la la la la la la
Am i the kind of girl who could be your boyfriend
Am i the kind of girl who could be your man
Am i the kind of girl who could be your boyfriend
Am i the kind of girl who could be your man

song performed by Xtc
Added by Lucian Velea
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A Love Above Loves

When I think of you
I think of a certain kind of love
When I hear your name
I hear a certain kind of love
When I look at you
I see a certain kind of love
When I hold you
I hold a certain kind of love
When I kiss you
I kiss a certain kind of love
When I touch you
I touch a certain kind of love
When I fell in love with you
I fell in love with a certain kind of love
When I'm with you
I'm with a certain kind of love
When I'm wrapped up in you
I'm wrapped up in a certain kind of love

This certain kind of love
Is stronger than love
It is a transcended state
A love that can only be gifted from above
A love that is greater than any other love
This certain kind of love
Is strong and true
This certain kind of love
Makes two people stay true
This certain kind of love
Can never be extinguished
I believe that we have this kind of love
A love so true
Maybe not love at first sight
But I do believe that I was meant for you
Do you believe it too?
This certain kind of love
Is a love above loves
This certain kind of love
Is a true love
So true

poem by Alex Fischer
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What Kind Of Girl

(graham russell, rex goh)
What kind of girl, what kind of girl
What kind of man is enough to begin to understand
How love begins so small
From that first day when she wakes and your arms are all she has
To hold on to
Youll never let her go and you say
What kind of girl
Youll never run any more now the world has come alive
For you, youll say ( how did I once survive )
What kind of girl does it take that gives everything she has
Always to share, her love is everywhere
And youll say what kind of girl
What kind of girl
What kind of girl
What kind of girl
What kind of girl
From that first day when she wakes and your arms are all she has
To hold on to
Youll never let her go and you say
What kind of girl
What kind of girl
What kind of girl
What kind of girl
What kind of girl

song performed by Air Supply
Added by Lucian Velea
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